is it possible to have a frugal wedding?

Question

i seriously had a wedding budget of 3k. i want majority of my funds to go to my honeymoon. my aunt (she is only 2 years older than me..) is getting married next july and im a bridesmaid. while shopping for shoes she asked when im getting married since im currently engaged. i actually decided to put off wedding plans and enjoy the moment. my fiance and i are saving to move to a new apt, we are going to punta cana for another family wedding in january so right now there is enough on my plate and not sit and plan/stress about a wedding.

anyways i informed her that im didnt even begin it plan. she says "well no rush, its expensive" shes one of those ppl who literally ALWAYS has something to say. my wedding is going to be about me.. not WOWing my guest. her budget is 20k... cash! WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT ?! what in the world ru spending 20k on??! anyways she proceded to go on and say "blah its expensive.. if you think ur gettinga dress at davids bridal for $400, it actually ends up being $1300.. and thats just the dress" i didnt inform her of my budget or anything. it just bothers me that she puts her annoying 2 cents where its not needed.. worry about your own wedding, you know? not mine. just bc someone has a 20k wedding doesnt mean they will be happily ever after.. same with a 3k wedding. she bothers me.

anyways... tips, tricks and advice on your frugal wedding. thanks!!

Answer 1

Weddings do not HAVE to be expensive. The mandatory expenses are the fee for the license, the fee/gift for your officiant, and then if you're inviting guests you need to provide each one of them with a chair, food, and drinks. Absolutely everything else is optional.



Yes, if you want a Saturday evening wedding at a banquet hall with 150 guests and a full bar and a designer gown, then there's really no way to avoid spending thousands of dollars. But it doesn't make your wedding any less of a wedding if you don't do these things. Wedding planning is about PRIORITIES. So decide what your priorities might be - a larger guest list? A designer gown? An elegant dinner? - and then do what it takes to make that happen within your budget.



Keep the guest list as small as you can. That's the best way to save money.



Decide what you need and don't need. You need chairs, food, and drinks - no way around that. But do you "need" a designer gown? Fancy invitations that'll just be thrown in the trash? Monogrammed cocktail napkins? Guests most appreciate the food and drinks - they don't care about decor or details.



DIY isn't always the answer to save money ... sometimes the materials and labor wind up costing you more than it'd cost to just hire a pro. If you want pocketfold invitations, it might cost $200 on a website, but by the time you buy all the craft supplies and DIY and mess up a few, it might cost $300.



And sometimes it's not worth it to DIY a project that's unnecessary in the first place. It might cost $100 to order those monogrammed napkins. It might cost $50 to buy a custom embosser and a pack of napkins and make them yourself. It will cost $0 to skip them entirely. Decide what you NEED, what you really WANT, and what you can go without. Everything can't be a splurge ... pick one or two things to splurge on, and then do without the rest or figure out a way to borrow it (a veil, shoes, a cake cutting set) or skip it (favors, monogrammed napkins, cake topper).



If you have a bridal party, then you need to spend money on flowers and gifts, and if you have a rehearsal then you need to feed them plus their spouses. So consider skipping a bridal party. If you must have one, then consider JUST having a Best Man and Maid of Honor. Let them pick out their own outfits (you can choose the color) and skip a rehearsal, and then get them each a nice gift or gift card.



In most weddings, 50% of the budget goes to the reception - facility rental, food and drinks, cake, tax and gratuity, any other fees, linen rentals, hiring waiters if the place doesn't provide them, etc. So if your overall budget is $3000, then you have $1500 to spend on the reception.



It's up to you how to divide that. If you have 100 guests, then you can spend $15 per person. Remember that that is NOT just food and drinks. So it's more like $7-10pp. If you want 20 guests, then that's $75pp, or in reality around $50-60pp. Again, decide on your priorities, and make sacrifices to make it happen.



If you want to invite 100 people, then you need to sacrifice the elegant evening dinner ... hold the wedding in mid-afternoon, that way your reception isn't during a mealtime and therefore you don't have to serve a full meal. Rent out the church's basement or a VFW hall or firehouse hall. Print "Light refreshments to follow" on your invitations and then serve small sandwiches along with fruit, cheese, and vegetable platters, plus a cake. Or just serve cake, coffee/punch, and fruit platters. Alcohol is not required, but soft drinks must always be available and FREE - ice water, coffee and tea, soda, punch/iced tea/lemonade. You can pick up sandwich platters, appetizer platters, a cake, and beverages at a local supermarket that morning, along with paper plates, napkins, cups, and bagged ice. Hire someone from your church or a couple of neighborhood teenagers to set up, pour drinks and serve cake, and clean up. Make an iPod or laptop playlist and hook it into the hall's speaker system or play it on a boom box, for background noise even if you don't want dancing.



But if you sacrifice the larger wedding and only invite 20 people, then you have more money to play with. You can book a nice restaurant and do a plated, served meal and open bar for around $50pp. The restaurant can play your iPod or a mix CD. You can probably get some nice small flower arrangements from a florist or a supermarket florist.



That leaves $1500 to spend on other stuff:



See if you can find a photographer on Craigslist or from a college with a photography program for $500-700. Your pics probably won't be fantastic, but you'll have something. Politely ask a friend if they can videotape the ceremony for you, if you want a video (we skipped a video and have zero regrets).



You can get a dress through Modcloth.com, JCrew.com, Nordstrom.com, Macys.com, Dillards.com, etc. Look in thrift shops and consignment stores. Look on Craigslist for a local bride selling her dress. Go to a department store and look at evening gowns and prom dresses. Avoid Chinese knockoffs on eBay. David's Bridal and Group USA usually have options for $300 or less. Have a local tailor do the alterations rather than going through a salon (your friend has a point ... David's Bridal/salon alterations can sometimes cost just as much as the dress, if not more).



Borrow a veil from a friend, or look on Etsy.com and eBay for an inexpensive one, or just skip it. Wear shoes you already own - with a long dress, nobody will ever see them, and most brides nowadays do metallic or colorful shoes rather than white ones. Borrow jewelry or get it from a department store or Kohl's.



Get very basic invitations. They just get thrown away, so don't go nuts. Don't forget postage. Heavier invites (with lots of insert cards) cost more to mail, and square invites require extra postage so stick with rectangular.



Skip favors.



Centerpieces can be grocery store flowers in borrowed vases, or candles, or framed photos, or river rocks.



If you aren't religious and don't have a minister, consider paying for a friend to get ordained online and perform your ceremony.



Get basic wedding bands with no stones. You can always upgrade later if you wish. Try bluenile.com or local independent stores. Avoid chain/mall jewelry stores like Zales and Kay - you can do better elsewhere.



Remember that, if any part of your wedding day is outdoors, you need a backup plan for rain, like a rented tent ($$$) or an indoor location on standby (VFW hall, church hall, etc.).

Answer 2

Of course you can have a nice wedding for $3000. I'm not sure why you went into all that detail about your aunt, because it has nothing to do with your question, except indirectly. By that, I mean rule #1 with weddings, especially when yours isn't even firmed up yet, is don't talk about it. This is what gets people in trouble. (I realize you didn't mention your budget to your aunt, but it's still rule #1).



The important thing you need to remember is that your budget limits you. It doesn't mean you can't have a nice event, but you need to be realistic. You're not going to have 100 people for dinner and dancing, so don't try to throw a party you can't afford. That's where wedding stress comes from.



Random ideas: Rent a private room in a restaurant, have the officiant come to that room, and have the ceremony/reception there. Obviously, lunch would be cheaper than dinner.



Use your home or someone else's who has a nice yard and have backyard wedding. These have always been popular. The officiant conducts the ceremony and then you have your party. Order some pulled pork or chicken by the pound from a good barbecue and then get or make side dishes.



The only "must haves" for a wedding are the bride, the groom, the officiant, 1 or 2 witnesses (can be anyone over 18) and then some type of celebration afterwards. Everything else is discretionary.

Answer 3

What do you want for a wedding?

A wedding does not have to have a huge reception.

You could have a simple wedding with under 30 people and have some thing in a back yard or park or restaurant.



Do you want a reception or would a meal be fine after the ceremony?

If most of the people live close, you could look for a weekday wedding. One of my dad's weddings were during the week. A judge he knew came, they got married during the week, the restaurant with the banquet hall was willing to work with them. You could look into something like that.



There nothing wrong with having a small simple wedding that does not cost a lot of money.



The key is you can not assume to do this, and invite 200 people or even 80. You need to keep it small

Answer 4

It is definitely possible! Some tips from someone who has been there:



1. Stick with your nearest and dearest when you make your guest list. More guests = more money to spend.



2. Have your wedding at a non-meal time. Brunch, tea, or light apps will be cheaper to cater than dinner. It also cuts your bar tab.



3. Ditch the DJ and band. Make your own playlist and have a friend act as your MC.



4. Any dress you get married in is your wedding dress. Also, some mall stores actually have bridal lines! Target, BHDLN, J. Crew, H&M, and Anne Taylor all have affordable wedding dresses.



5. Sheet cake tastes exactly the same as wedding cake. Just saying.



6. See if you can recycle your wedding stuff to justify certain costs. My husband bought a new suit for our wedding that he still wears to business functions. Worth every penny!



7. Skip centerpieces and favors. No one misses them.



8. Your local grocery store probably does flowers cheaper than most florists.

Answer 5

There is really no reason why you can't get married by a Justice of the Peace in a court room somewhere. You can wear cut off shorts and a floppy sweat shirt if you want. That costs about $100.



The ONLY reason for an elaborate ceremony is to brag. Your wedding will be no better if you have a big ceremony, and no worse if you don't. The ONLY ones that will be disappointed are your guest who will not be invited to a non-existent party.



Get married by a Justice of the Peace, and rent an apartment clubhouse to have a small soft-drinks and cake reception. for less than $500.

Answer 6

One of the nicest weddings I've ever seen cost the couple a grand total of about $2500 for 150 people.



Granted they had some connections and got amazing catering for next to nothing, so that helped, but even with EVERYTHING else, they still only spent $2500. I know it certainly wasn't higher than $3000



So it's certainly possible. Look in offbeat places for stuff. Like, you don't HAVE to get your wedding dress from a bridal store. In fact, I've seen examples where a white prom dress that looks nearly identical to some wedding dress they are comparing it to, and costs half as much because the word prom is attached, not wedding.



I would however suggest finding a way to put a little extra aside each month, not because I think your wedding should cost more, but in case of emergencies. They haven't happened often at any of the weddings I've been to, but as an example, at one of them, someone threw a box in a car and CRUSHED the flower girls basket because he didn't see it was on the seat he was throwing the box on. Then a bridesmaids shoe broke as she was putting it on. So bridesmaid took the emergency fund, went and got a new basket and a new pair of shoes for herself, plus a few other small things we realized we needed.

Answer 7

I play weddings and recently performed for a truly lovely ceremony:



It was held at a private campground next to a scenic river with rapids and big trees. The bride’s mother and aunts made picnic food – potato salad, baked beans and stuff like that. Uncle Earl and Bubba cooked burgers and hotdogs. Grandm made the wedding cake. The minister was another relative. The bride wore her mother’s gown. The bridesmaids wore matching white cowboy hats, white t-shirts, bluejeans and cowboy boots. The groom and groomsmen were attired in camo pants and flannel shirt and baseball cap.



I played jigs, reels, and old hymns on my violin – I also played the wedding marches etc.



Yes, this was a red-neck wedding but it was still absolutely lovely. People were happy. The food was yummy. There were about 50-75 guests including children and I think they spent less than $500 for everything.



That doesn’t mean you have to go redneck, but it does mean you can have a truly wonderful, memorable wedding on very little money.



Tell your auntie that she is welcome to her style of wedding. You, on the other hand, are entitled to yours and she can keep her opinions and comments to herself. Moreover, you have other things to do with your money than to host a big to-do that only lasts one day.

Answer 8

No one is being mean to you. She knows nothing about your budget, she is just trying to offer advice. If you are too insecure, have low self esteem, have feelings of inadequacy or jealousy of others with a bigger budget that is not her fault. If you cant deal with normal bridal talk, then avoid this conversation or manage like an adult.



Look at it this way, if she is having a large wedding, she will have plenty of wedding left overs. That is freebies for you or things that you could potentially borrow for your event without spending any money. Things that people borrow are veils, cake cutters, flutes, chair covers, baskets, left over ribbon and vases etc.

Answer 9

Some of the others hit the nail right on the head. You have to budget really carefully, but you can have a pretty wedding for $3,000. Theknot.com has a great tool that you can use to help you keep track of your spending.

Answer 10

You can have a wonderful wedding at any budget point. Keep it small, with just family and close friends - all you need is a beautiful ceremony planned, great food, booze and music - and you will have a great day!

Answer 11

1st lesson

weddings make people CRAZY

fact



you can have a wonderful frugal wedding on your budget

but you NEED to stop letting peoples opinions get to you

soon as you announce a wedding, EVERYONE thinks they have the right to a say so in it



i dont know any american sites but i do know, on our UK site, money saving expert.com it has a wedding section, where brides share their frugal tips and finds

there will be something similar stateside



plenty DIY things you can do to save money

find some sites, and start your plans

good luck!

Answer 12

Congratulations! It's an exciting time for you if you keep it about what is important to you. Remember, you are the one with the memories, so make it about what you and your future spouse want. I recently read an interesting article about DIY weddings, you may find some helpful tips. http://amberspire.com/diy-weddings-shabby-chic-or-just-plain-shabby-2/

Answer 13

Weddings should not be so expensive as you can use this saving for honeymoon.

Answer 14

Although you already have a million comments here already. I'll add what i have whether it helps or not! :) I got married in 2008 at a beautiful location called Leu Gardens in Downtown Orlando, FL. It's actually a huge piece of land that is used for tours because of it's lush gardens and has literally so many picturesque spots. They have a main house that is so beautiful that houses the Reception Hall and offices and also a screened Lanai for Pre-Reception cocktails/hors d'oeuvres (sorry? sp.?) I had to mention that first because it was literally the most beautiful location for a wedding. Two of my other close friends also had gotten married there as well. One like a year before and one of my bridesmaid's did a few weeks before mine. You have the choice of an indoor or outdoor ceremony and also the choice of having your reception there or elsewhere.



I didn't necessarily set a budget for myself because I really didn't know how much it was all going to cost in the long run when you actually consider ALL things together. I knew somewhat since i was planning 8 months in advance, the amount of money that we knew we would have over that time and how much my parents were able to pitch in. I also knew that, since i didn't come from a wealthy family (middle class) My husband did tho, also his parents did pitch in a little more than just the rehearsal "brunch" which we opted for instead of a dinner) I thought that was a little more special to do it in the afternoon... Something different. I just basically used the internet A LOT (which you should do also, nowadays there is so much more help for you over the internet. SO MUCH) You DON'T have to spend a lot. I wanted a traditional beautiful wedding and with all of the things that i wanted, i cut corners where i could, without making it look cheap. I cut corners where it wouldn't affect much... And spent the money or the things that I really wanted to be extra special. Sometimes those little things that are done 110% may mean so much more than spending extra money or something that doesn't need extra money spent.



I was a total DIY bride. I had 1 Maid of Honor and 1 Brides Matron, one of which was my cousin from out of state, so i didn't have much help with planning and such so it was done all my my lonesome and my Brides Matron was a close friend that i worked with. Even all of the ideas and the theme were thought up by only me. I had originally planned to have my 3 best friends and my cousin represent myself as Bridesmaids, but for some reason... That didn't work out as planned which was dis-heartening for me. Since i am originally from Ohio and now live in Florida, 2 of my best friends were living in different states. One in Ohio and the other in Tennessee. The one in Tennessee, i was a bridesmaid in her wedding in 2003. The BFF in Ohio wasn't able to accept my request for her to be one of my bridesmaids or couldn't attend because "a lack of money and time". My other BFF in Tennessee DID agree to be a bridesmaid but as the plans started coming together and dress fittings and such and knowing that the ceremony would be outside at the end of October (unpredictable weather for Florida, which can be either nice weather 70s/80s or one of those times that it can be hot as heck! This month it was. It was around 85 degrees and full sun. Even though we had the ceremony in the late afternoon, i think it was at like 4:00PM and the reception at 6:30PM. My BFF from TN had, had a Kidney Transplant a few years prior and decided as time went by that maybe it was best if she dropped out but that she still would travel here to attend with her husband. She worried about heat exhaustion and not having facilities or water nearby in case something would happen that would be detrimental to her health. This all began because i wanted long gowns for the bridesmaids. (it is Fall in October, but obviously can be hot) Since there is always a risk of rain, there was a building close by that was like a type of museum which housed the historical information of Leu Gardens, which was used in case of rain. Anyway, my 3rd BFF whom lives here, opted to travel to London, England with her husband (now EX) to see a rare Football game which was planned already in advance supposedly, talk about a kick in the face that was. Sorry i got a little carried away!! It still takes a bite at my heart....



Firstly, i'll mention that i did have a David's Bridal gown that i paid around $400 for. Only downside is once you buy, you can only exchange. So make sure you go a couple or a few times to make sure, if you do decide to get a gown. Or even hit up a vintage shop or a consignment shop. David's Bridal does have gorgeous gowns. Really, the only people that should be paying thousands of dollars for their bridal gown are the wealthy and/or celebrities!! As long as you have a pretty close to average body, according to your body size of course, not many alterations should be needed.... That's the beauty about David's Bridal.... They always have an assortment of sizes on hand. And you don't have to use their alteration services.... You can go elsewhere for your alterations. Luckily, my Aunt is a seamstress and she did the only thing i needed, which was a hem because i am only 5 foot tall. At 115 lbs and a 34C bust, the size 6 gown fit me like a dream. She also made our jewelry as well. We all had matching earrings and necklaces to match the color theme of the wedding and gowns. FYI... The wedding that i was in, in TN... The bride (the one with the Kidney Disease) gave her 7 bridesmaids matching costume jewelry to wear to the wedding to go with the Dress, as their Gift!! I actually thought that was tacky. I mean, although i had our jewelry hand-made (which turned out very cute and unique and cost effective) i didn't give them their gift as part of the wedding requirements. I gave them something to say Thank You for taking the time to do this for me. I got them each Coach Wristlets and got the groomsmen, Kenneth Cole Watches. I didn't find it Wedding etiquette to give them their gifts that were to be worn as part of the wedding, that isn't a gift. I traveled from Florida to TN to be there for her and i was proud to do it... But i was a little put off by the gifts... I had to pay for my own hotel, everything... Take all of this into consideration.... :)



Okay so anyway, i'll go source by source.... In terms of cost for each and every little thing that came out of our pockets or our family's pockets.



Starting with the big one, The Caterer... Which... Don't forget can be used as your Wedding Coordinator as well. You don't need a Wedding Coordinator, again, unless your are wealthy and/or a celebrity. Your Catering Coordinator that gets assigned to your event will pretty much do anything you want her/him to do! Except for all things that are arranged by other companies, they'll handle their parts... Note: The cater staff does expect tips after everything is said and done. (including the catering wait staff on the day of the event) They will set up all of your decor, linens... Anything that you want to bring to them as part of your decor, they will set up for you. Gratuities are NOT 100% required, however is customary and lack thereof is frowned upon... You pretty much give them what you think is sufficient for what they have done for you on a personal level... I.E. All of the extras that they handled for you that they didn't necessarily have to, that list can be endless, how well the service was with the wait staff obviously, how attentive they were to you, your husband and your bridal party during the event, the bartender(s) also and if they kept the drinks flowing :)) Remember, if they know approximately what your budget is, they will work with you in terms of what your budget is. A plated dinner is usually the cheapest way to go. Either Chicken or Beef with 2 sides and a salad and usually with assorted breads. The Buffet i had, had 2 different salads with different dressings, assorted breads, 3 or 4 side dishes, for Entrees Mahi Mahi, Grilled Chicken Marsala and a Prime Rib Carving Station (That was the best part) I would have just been happy with Mr. Prime Rib!! :)



You should first write yourself a check list for each aspect of wedding that you want professionally handled (hiring a company to represent each wedding aspect) Do a search for each online, writing down about 5 of the most locally convenient providers and their contact info. for each aspect. Make phone calls firstly and feel them out and/or check out their website (if they have one) to get an idea of pricing... So you can start a budget for yourself. This will help you to get an idea of what everything costs, ballpark....