i was forced to have an abortion. my bf told me he would marry me but he's already married wat do i do?plz hlp

Question

he said he would leave his wife but now he doesnt want to its made me realy suicidal and depressed wat can i do...i've cut my wrist 3times n took an overdose im not worried bout him but i cant take my mind of my baby that i lost plz plz help me i need some good advice how can i get bak at hm or atleast convince him to see my side and t fact that he cant have 2 women together...i need answers asap...

Answer 1

go get counseling u need help!

and why would u be so stupid to date a married man in the first place!

Answer 2

You really have to get a hold of your emotions and start thinking logically. You have only one choice in this and that is for you to end the relationship you have with this married man. It has caused you such pain that right now you are at your lowest ebb emotionally and you need help. As you can see, he is using you, as he forced you to have an abortion, and now you have nothing, you don't have your baby and you don't have him. So the first thing you should do is if you have suicidal thoughts again, please call the suicide hot line in your state immediately. There are people manning phones 24 hours a day to help people in need. Second, you must end this relationship. Tell him it is over and show him the door and don't look back. This guy is never going to marry you..you know it, you are just hanging on because you think it will be too painful without him in your life. Look at the pain you are going through now...All he has brought you is pain, hurt, lonliness and desperation. The third thing you must do is get help from a psychologist to help you get through this tough time. Also, ask the help of family and friends too. Is there a friend you can ask to help you? The power of prayer is so strong..and if you pray for strength from the Lord, he will answer your prayers. Pray for the strength to tell this guy goodby permanently. Then when you have gone for some therapy and healed your wounds, try to regain your self esteem, and move on...Life is worth living and there is a silver lining in the cloud you are under right now. I do wish you well...try to keep strong. Best of Luck

Answer 3

First of all, you can't get even with him by trying to commit suicide. Suicide is final. You don't get the chance to come back afterwards and say" Aha! See what you've done, burn baby, burn!" You'll be dead and gone and he will be alive and still with his wife or some other gullible woman . You were very foolish, but we all make mistakes, so you must forgive yourself. You took on a married man and you accepted his lies and got pregnant for him as well. What were you thinking, girlfriend? He was a no good bum for doing that, but you must take some responsibility for your own bad behavior. You have to get away from him. The abortion may have brought on some of your depression because of the sudden drop in hormones. Speak to your doctor soon. Perhaps he/she can refer you to a professional for some counselling. Until you get to the point where you recognize that this man is not appropriate for you and that you have a problem, life will continue to be miserable. He is not yours. He never was. He has a wife. Get yourself together and move on and one day, when you become a better woman, you will definitely find a better man to love and respect you. Then you can settle down and make all the babies you desire with that loving man.

Answer 4

Well my father asked my mother to marry him after a month of dating. I mean they didn't get married until three years later I believe, but a person usually knows if it is right or not. But the fact they're just graduating from high school...they're young. Sometimes high school kids confuse certain feelings with love. Plus when it comes to leaving for college [if they do] things will most likely change. Not many high school relationships last long after high school. Although people that have graduated from my high school have married others that graduated with us. But that's two couples out of the many that didn't make it that far.

Answer 5

First of all sweetie, you need to get rid of this guy. I am sorry to be so blunt with you, especially when you are already at a low point, but this man is using you. He will NEVER leave his wife. The reason he wanted you to have an abortion was so that he could continue his affair with you without being discovered. He told you he would marry you have the abortion simply to make sure you went through with it.



This man is a nasty piece of work and you have to get away from him. If he was really going to leave his wife, he would have done so already and if he loved you he would not have forced you to abort the baby.



First of all, dump him as quickly as possible and ignore him if he tries to contact you again. He will just mess you up further and further. Then you need to see the doctor and get referred to a counsellor. They will help you to deal with your grief.



I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

well darling im so sorry to hear you have cut your wrists and overdosed but my first piece of advice to you is please dont do it its not worth it ive done that lots and ive got lots of horrible scars up my arms. secondly if your bf who is already married promised you he would marry you to get you to have an abortion that is blackmail. especially after saying he wont leave his wife. have you told his wife coz in my eyes if she dont know about you then thats the way to get back at him if you ask me thats would i would do in your situation. what you are expieriencing is down to shock of what he has made you do and has made you give up something that would have been very special to you and now your body is going through alot of changes as when you have an abortion your brain still tells your body your pregnant so your emotions are all over. if his wife does know then the best thing i can honestly suggest to you is get some counselling and try to move on it will be hard but you will get there in the end and find someone who really deserves a girl like you.

Answer 7

This man is not worth dying for. Have some respect and he been lying from the word go. If he was ever going to leave to be with you he would of done it alot earlier. But you will never get him now and thats a good thing.

Why did you also started going out with someone who is married to. To him you were probably a bit on the side.



I have little sympathy for you and partly not.



You now need to get some help. Alot of people have said how. Talk to family, friends and get proffesional help. And I would forget this bloke forever and get a decent single bloke.

Answer 8

sweetie u need to talk to some one and soon go and see your doctor they will be able to help you come to terms with the abortion and as for the man in your life honey he is no good for you u need someone of your own who will treat u right and if he does leave his wife u will never properly trust him as he cheated on her with you and u will always be thinking will he do it to me and as the saying goes once a cheat always a cheat, I am sorry to say it but it is normaly the way. but forget about him darlin you need to get help for the way you are feeling and dont try to get even get happy that will piss him off even more then trying to hurt him beleive me hold your head up high and show him u dont need him. I wish u all the very best and I am sure one day u will look back over all this and see u done the best thing and u will be happy again x

Answer 9

Look, theres no person in the whole world who is worth taking your life for....believe!! You have to start realising you are worth more than this crap excuse for a man. If it really bothers you that much, go create bit of havoc in his marital life-go see his wife and tell him what a s**t her hubby has been....hopefully that will cause a bit of damage, hahaha! - plus deep down you really do know he is not the one for you - so in short you dont have anything to lose by doing this, hey it may even help u feel better?!



Next - you must dump the dude, tell him he aint a man and get on with your own life. Its tragic wht happin with the baby and guess you will never totally get over that, but hey he had a major role in making you do that, consider it fate and just think it a huge lesson for next time-dont even think of having a baby until you have tested out the strength of your relationship - as this is not fair on the child to come. Dont make the same mistake in life twice.



Go realise your self worth, consolidate and strengthen yourself, have self respect and dignity for yourself - if u display this then men realise you wont take their rubbish, if they dont, they aint worth bothering about mate! So chin up and be proud, dont self harm, ur too good for that!

Answer 10

Please contact a suicide hot line and get yourself some help.



NO ONE...and I do mean NO ONE is worth throwing your own life away for.

If he didn't leave his wife when he found out you were pregnant, do you REALLY honestly think he's going to give two sh!ts if you kill yourself? Of course he won't!



Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and kick his @$$ to the curb. No dumb jerk is worth such personal misery.



Call your family, contact some friends, or do SOMETHING to help yourself, because he won't lift a finger to make your life better.



And please let this be a lesson to NEVER become involved with a married person. They will NEVER leave their spouse, and IF they do (95% of the time they don't), they will most likely treat you the same way somewhere down the road. Married and adultering is just using. Find someone who will respect you and take care of you and your needs.

Answer 11

First, check into counseling or at least confide in a friend...including the suicidal thoughts. He is a prick....unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. Secondly, you need to give yourself time to grieve the loss of the baby. Do not worry about revenge - it is a waste of time and will ultimately consume you rather then give you the satisfaction you desire.



Do not let this 'define' you...... learn from your mistakes and go forward. YOU, as a person, are worth more than 'what happened' - do not ever forget that!

Answer 12

I think its time that you seek some professional help. Go and seek your doctor quickly and try and get counselling. Ask your doctor for help with the depression and to be referred to a counsellor. I don't think you should stay with your boyfriend. It takes two people to make a relationship work and he does not want you because he is already married and he won't leave his wife. It will take a lot of time to get over him but I think you are better off without him.

Answer 13

Damn right girl. ou need to get rid and get even.. When you know he is out of the area go see his misses and explain whats happening. It might sound scary but I bet she'll wanna get even too.. You both can set him up and he will feel like a real twit.

Not only would he of lost maybe both relationships he would of lost that dirty grin slapped across his face..

I used to feel like you do once and if you've tried several times to end it and not sucecced then its mainly for the pain release and a help sign.

Dont give him the satifaction he wants. You hurting yourself wont make him leave his wife for you it will make him run away from you..

Harsh words babe but its the truth

Answer 14

Forget about him! Focus on yourself. You have to get back on track, please don't let his bad decisions ruin YOUR life. Now that you know it's not a good idea to get involved with a married man, look for someone who is available - single and unattached. There are plenty of honest guys out there looking for a relationship; give one of them a chance. Yes, it is sad that you had to have an abortion, but life isn't over - you will have your chance to have a child, hopefully in the context of a loving and supportive relationship. It's selfish and cruel to bring a child into the picture when your situation is dysfunctional from the start. Dump this guy and don't look back. He made it clear that he is NOT interested in being with you - why hang on?

Answer 15

Not to be mean, but that's what you get for messing with a married man. Everyone knows they aren't going to leave their wife or they would have already done so. As far as the baby that's sad that you had an abortion for him. You must be really young. You need to see a counselor to deal with your issues, they aren't going to go away on their own. The guy you're sleeping with is smart.. now you had an abortion, he doesn't have family issues at home for cheating and he doesn't have a new baby to pay for.

Your situation is very sad, I hope you seek counseling.

Answer 16

You poor dear! If I were forced to get rid of my baby just for the guy who supposedly loved me I would so get him back and then move somewhere where he could not find me, ever! To get back at him is the best thing you could do, that way you may start to heal, body and mind. You have to see a priest or reverend and get some advice that way, you need to do this for yourself and for your lost baby. I wish you all the luck in the world my dear.

Answer 17

If your boyfriend wanted you to get an abortion and you wanted to keep the baby, then you both want different things. Also, if he's married then he's likly to leave you if you marry him. Please consider that there is some guy in the world who wants what you want. If I were you, I wouldn't let your bf have so much say in your life, because it seems, from what you wrote, that you don't have that much say in wether he leaves his wife or not.

Answer 18

Dump him pronto and get some counselling! There is help out there, you are obviously suffering from lack of self esteem if you want this selfish, cheating, uncaring nasty piece of work. Don't bother getting revenge, it's a double edged sword and you will only hate yourself even more. I know its hard honey but you must FORGET HIM he is no good for you! Get out now while you still can

Answer 19

Sorry but you don't stand a chance. he would have left his wife by now if he was going to. Gain your self respect back by finishing the affair and moving on. Get some counselling for the loss of your baby. You can have a life without him but you will need some help.

Answer 20

Sweety, get off the computer and go get some help. Go into a police station or a hospital or a fire stations or clinic. Anywhere and tell them you feel suicidal and you want some help. Dont even think about getting back at him because obviously he's not worth your time. I will be praying for you. God Bless you.

Answer 21

You need to go to an emergency room ASAP and get some help, there is a lot of support out there and doctors and nurses can really help you out! Hang in there and good luck!

Answer 22

Don't hurt yourself over something you have already done... Honey, its going to hurt but what your doing is only making you weaker and thats not what you need right now. He's not worth that pain to you... you need to get back up... theres more people out there and you'll have other chances... just dont go for married men because they wont leave their wives because they are comfortable being married... just remember NO MAN IS EVER WORTH YOUR TEARS AND THE ONES WHO ARE WILL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY!!!God loves you and bless you....

Answer 23

sorry for the abortion but really no one is forsed in to anything and what are you doing playing with a marrid man come on that is someones family you got no respect andy way he wont marry you he is only saying that so he can keep you a secret so he got some one to sleep with anyway go and tell his wife eveything dates times that will really fxxk him up really tho sorry to here about the baby but cutting your self is guilt it will fade

Answer 24

My god go get some profesional help. All your going to get on here is people critizing you for getting invoved with a married man. get your life straightened out and move on, what's done is done nothing is going to change the past.I wish you luck and happiness in the future, everyone deserves to be happy just be more careful who you get your self invoved with next time.

Answer 25

You need more answers and counseling than any uninvolved third party can give you, and the person to provide them is a counselor or a very close friend. You've put yourself through alot and allowed this guy to manipulate you in the name of "love" that was really just a big lie. Please seek help.

Answer 26

Tell him about you and wat he's done to you he is an *** if he doesn't help you out.... Don't worry because it was the best thing to do (the abortion) if you need help ask close friends you have to try and open up and look for help

i know it's a very steep mountain to climb but you have to do it and i know you can!!! Have faith, you want to get out of there and you will



Good luck darlin!!

Answer 27

hey take it it was both of your baby, how can he order u to take a major desicion and then tell u he'll marry u if u did, don't u understand he is not looking forcommitment, and why r u with an married man!

besides ask him to have an divorce and c what he says if he sticks to his guns then yourlucky

Answer 28

first of all-GET FAR FAR AWAY FROM THAT BAD BAD MAN! that's all i have to say about him.

sorry to yell, but that was very important. second of all, find yourself a trusted friend, and tell them everything that has been going on.

next, find a therapist who will help you.

i'm sorry for all that you've been through, i hope that you can find healing. you sound pretty young, i pray that this does not indefinitely define how you see the world. God bless you.

Answer 29

Why would you mess with a married men? They come with Bitchy Wifes! That would have NEVER worked out kid or not! Just leave him and go find something better

Answer 30

get some counselling and get rid of him. you need time to deal with this and he's not helping. he's having his cake and eating while you are left with the emotional aftermath. deal with this then find a decent bloke that will treat you right and decently you deserve so much better. he's not worth your love and respect.

Answer 31

if it was me id tell his wife but thats me.the damage has been done get some counselling and to be honest i would stay away from the looser.dont get revenge what goes around comes around just concentrate on getting you better.and moving on in life.

Answer 32

men like that are such a holes. you are worth more than that. it is easy for me to say to you forget about him, but honestly that is the best thing for you to do. you can't do it on your own though, you need help. go to your GP and get some counselling. you can't live your life being second best, it will destroy you. there is a man out there for you who will want only you, please believe me when i say that. he is not worth your tears sweetheart.

Answer 33

You women make me sick You new he was married leave him alone There are thousands of single men like me who would have looked after you for the rest of your life. I have no sympathy for you

Answer 34

You're going to need professional help in seeing that he's not who you thought he was. We ALL make mistakes. You will get past this but you're going to need to talk to someone who can help you.

Answer 35

You need to get away from him and find someone who is genuine. You will never get back at him because he doesn't care anything about you.

Answer 36

Get rid of dick and move on they always say they will leave their wife and they never do, get rid hon and stop hurting your self, you will regret it and it is messy. x x

Answer 37

first- regarding ur so called boyfriend- dump him he'll do no good to ur life... please you deserve better-



second- ur just hurting urself. It wont do good on you. If you want to finish ur life do it the easy way so u wont feel the pain.



third- to ur baby- please please pray for him everynight. And try to confess- The priest will give you set of prayers to recite foe the that sin that youve done.

Answer 38

you should have told him that he can't have 2 women when you first met him. I'm sorry, but he just doesn't care.

Answer 39

see a counciler

Answer 40

you need to see someone and soon !



go see your doctor and they will refer you.

Answer 41

Get a shrink girl...u r losing it!

Answer 42

dump him