Not invited ...?

Question

My boyfriend of 2 years has a cousin (he's like a brother to) getting married in July, I know the fiance (met her on their first date a year ago!) And she's not inviting me to her wedding shower or bachelorette party..I find that very wrong! I am just as much apart of the "family" at this stage as she is. I think its very rude and poor class. What do you think? Should I be invited?

Answer 1

I think you should be invited.

On the other hand, can you think of any reason for her not to invite you? I don't want to make things worse but is it possible that your boyfriend might have said something to them or her about not happy about you , maybe, he wants to split with you?

It just seems to be a no-brainer not to invite you. There must be a reason.

Answer 2

Sorry to tell you this but at this stage of the game you really aren't part of her wedding and shouldn't be expecting any invites. Being invited is a privilege not a right.



Also - don't forget - it's not her doing the invitations to the parties it's other people probably her friends & family who probably don't even know you especially if you don't associate with the couple frequently. NOW if your boyfriend doesn't get an invitation to the wedding including a guest ....then you have a right to be insulted.

Answer 3

Are you invited to the wedding? I don't find it rude...she might be trying to save money, or maybe she wants more of her family at the bridal shower and her friends at the bachelorette party. I know when I get married, my bridal shower will be that way along with my bach. party. I will be doing that to save money, and I have specific people that I want to share that time with. Just because she didn't invite you to these things does not mean she doesn't think that you are part of the family. It is HER wedding after all and not YOURS.

Answer 4

She is the bride and although you might feel slighted and I am sure that I would too in your position there really isn't anything you can do. Maybe she is only inviting her wedding party or maybe she honestly forgot about you. I don't know hun, and I am sorry but it is her wedding and she can do what she likes. I would be the bigger person and still get her something small for the shower, I only had a shower and not both parties, for me that is asking guests to give way to many gifts, shower, party, wedding, I mean come on. But again that is just me.

Answer 5

I definitely feel you should be invited to the wedding. You have been going out with him for two years. It shows a commitment and "yes" that you are part of the family.

The bachelorette party, I guess that is different because you stated that you met her a year ago and you do not mention that you have seen her again and usually "that" type of party is mean't for really close friends that you will be ending an era with of partying. You know what I mean?

But the wedding, YOU should definately be there. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel but please do not argue with him about it. Even though this is his cousins soon-to-be-wife, you can't blame him for her negligence. I just don't want this to cause a riff within your relationship. If you have spoken to her recently, bring it up! Ask why you are not invited to the wedding and I think she owes you a good explanation.

Hope this helps.

Good Luck

and "yes" you are right to be upset.

Answer 6

Look, you may just be taking this more personal than it is.You just said you know him but met her a year ago.Do you hang with her? is that the last time you have seen her or done anything with her? You see, It may just be that she has alot of close friends and family and the person who is setting this up may not be very aware of you and didn't add you to the invite list.Most all of these things are set up by the maid of honor and she is the one to do the invites.

Or maybe its just that she already has alot of people on the list and can only afford to have her very close friends and family for this.Again, I am sure it isn't personal but choice that had to be made.I am sure you are not the only one left out of this.Try getting to know her more in the future and become closer and I am sure you will always be invited to future things.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Bridal shower etiquette:

Who should be invited to the bridal shower?



The mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom should always be invited to the shower - along with the bride, of course! (As well as step-mothers on both sides.)

Sisters of the bride and groom are also generally invited to every bridal shower, but have the option of choosing to attend just one.

People who are not invited to the wedding should not be invited to the bridal shower.

Other than that, the bride and hostess should work together to come up with the guest list for the bridal shower. Numbers should be kept within the hostess' budget (brides, be respectful of their wishes!) and hostess' you should clearly set this limit from the beginning.

Couples showers are becoming more popular, but keep in mind that this can double the guest list.



As far as the bachelorette party she should invite the people she wants it is her party.

Answer 8

You are a girlfriend she is a fiance so you are on totally two different levels as far as getting into the family goes. Perhaps she doesn't feel like she knows you well enough to invite you to the shower and make you feel like you have to bring a gift. Also, someone else throws the shower and maybe they told her only so many guests or something like that. Don't be offended. I am sure your boyfriend will bring you to the wedding.



Good luck!

Answer 9

Whether you should or shouldn't be invited, it is her shower and her party. If she doesn't want somebody there, it's ultimately her decision. I would make sure that I at least had a present for her at the shower and wish her all the luck in the world. You'll be able to decide one day if you want her at your shower or party and you'll have your day. She may have overlooked you, but she also just may not want you there. It's the way of the world, but I would at least make sure she had a gift from me at her shower and try to take the higher road. If all goes well, your day will come.

Answer 10

It would be sad if you weren't invited to the wedding, but the wedding shower and bachelorette party are her thing. If she wants to invite certain people and not others, that's fine. Fewer gifts you have to buy!

Answer 11

It's her party. Maybe because she doesn't know you that well she isn't inviting you so that you don't feel forced to buy a present. I only invited close friends and family to my bachlorette party not girfriends of cousin. Weddings and all that go with cost a lot of money and cuts have to be made somewhere.

Answer 12

No, because you are a "girlfriend". You two don't appear to be close and those things are for "close" friends and family. I wouldn't be offended at all if I were you. Now if you weren't invited to the wedding I would be offended, but the parties beforehand should not be of any concern to you.

Answer 13

I thik you should be invited to the wedding shower...but the bachelorette party....maybe.



If the two of you are not very close i wouldnt expect you to be invited to the bachelorette party to me that is just for the bridal party and best friends. However if she invited other people who are not terribly close to her but exluded you that is rude.



As for the bridal shower it should be all female family and freinds, you are pretty much one of the family and it is in poor taste not to invite you.

Answer 14

Don't step on her train! She may have a limited list for both gatherings. Have yourself a party and buy yourself a gift. When and if you go to the wedding...At the reception toss her a card with ten bucks in it ( wedding gift ) then eat, drink and party your butt off on her ( parents) tab. Make sure you look kick a ss hot, so everyones looking at you. She'll probably crap her pretty dress.....oh yeah, Don't step on her train!

Answer 15

Who's paying for it? Maybe Daddy set a limit and she had to invite just her closest friends to stay within budget... Stay calm and don't worry about it - don't let it cause more trouble than it's worth in relationships! Humble yourself and be happy anyway - maye you'll get invited to the wedding!

Answer 16

you prob should be invited. But think about it who is throwing the shower. Maybe they didn't ask her for a guest list. So her bridesmaids could just be winging it, and not have counted on you as a guest. When you see her tell her, hey I haven't heard anything about your bridal shower, I'd love to attend. As soon to be bride, I wasn't really to sure who to put on my guest list, as there are people who do invite guest just so they can get more gifts. Maybe she's hesitant about coming off as one of these people. I've actually had a few friends tell me hey don't forget to invite me to your shower.

Answer 17

Are you invited to the wedding itself?

I won't worry about the other two- she might not consider you that close and doesn't want to burden you. Think of it this way- she saving you a ton of money.

Answer 18

I think it is sort of mean on her part, but take it positively. She must be have her reasons of not inviting you, or she is just plain mean and petty minded, if that's the case you should be happy that you're not in company of such petty minded person. Don't think too much about it though... let it go and give you best wishes to her as and when u see her next time.

Answer 19

Get over it. Just go to the wedding and have a good time. Maybe she doesn't consider you a friend and just doesn't want you there. It is her very special event you know, and maybe the world just doesn't revolve around your feelings. Grow up!!

Answer 20

well usually on wedding invites it would have the cousins name with "and guest"



you guys have been dating for 2 years so it isn't just a fling, so i think you should be invited.



however don't go screaming at the bride. maybe ask your bf to talk to his cousin and see if you can be invited.

Answer 21

This is a very important moment in her life. She is only inviting people that she is close to. I don't think that she is doing anything wrong.

Answer 22

try going with a your bfs mother or sister.. wish her a lot of happiness..she may not know how important to the family you really are.. she may have asked if she should and her fiance thought you might be uncomfortable..

Answer 23

Maybe it's just close friends...



Either way, your not invited. I wouldn't cry about it to anyone in the family, it'll just start drama.

Answer 24

Maybe the person/people throwing her the party dont know that you are so close to her...dont be mad, I would just mention the parties in passing to the MOH.

Answer 25

no, doesnt mean just bcuz u met her"once" she should invite u 4the wedding...if ur not friends with her she should not invite u..depends on each person...

Answer 26

Most definitely!

Answer 27

You're right, she's out of line. Look at it this way...you can have a nite out instead of buying an obviously unwanted gift.

Answer 28

why are you acting like a spoiled brat..its not your wedding day...she can do what she wants

Answer 29

yes you should...it's always very rude to exclude someone who had been with family for a long time...it's just rude...you should maybe approach her about this matter

Answer 30

YES SHE IS WRONG. BUT YOU SHOULDNT TRIP. ITS HER DAY LET HER HAVE IT. SHE MUST SEE YOU AS A THREAT OUR SOMETHING. JUST DONT TRIP. LET HER BE.WHEN SHE IS GOING TO NEED YOU ONE DAY.

Answer 31

No, you sound kind of bratty. This is about her, not you.

Answer 32

Yeah I def think you should be invtied! what the dill

Answer 33

you should definitely be invited- scream this at her!