Question:
How do I organise a hen party?
2011-02-10 09:47:16 UTC
I'm the only bridesmaid and have to organise it by myself. I've never been to a hen party before so I'm not sure what's expected.

I don't have a big budget to work with... and there will be about 15 people.

Is it the norm nowadays to go away for a night/weekend and stay in a hotel?
Is simply going to a nice restaurant and then pub/club definitely not sufficient? I don't want to end up disappointing the bride... I just really can't think of anything she'd like to do. She's not interested in any kind of outdoorsy stuff, or any particular 'theme'.

Also...who pays? I am happy to pay for myself and the bride, but am I expected to pay for anyone else?

Advice very much appreciated!
Five answers:
maruxz
2011-02-14 06:59:28 UTC
Usually organizing yourself is the hardest task, but if you have some imagination - your party will definitely be the best. In case you do not know what to do, it is better to hire party planners to help you with the ideas.



In the beginning try to meet or at least find out more information about the participants. Just ask some questions who and what are they, do they love extreme or classic attractions, are they daring enough to wear an extravagant dress etc.



Payment question. I would recommend to gather the money from all the participants except bride-to-be as this hen night should be a surprise for her.
srb190
2011-02-11 01:30:24 UTC
Hi,



Many groups do choose to have a one or two night stay in a hotel, this can depend if you're going to a city far from home. You can always choose to only have a hen night, going to a restaurant and nightclub.



Another option is to have a hen day and do a activity such as cocktail mixing, chocolate making or a dance class.



With regards to paying, the norm is everyone pays for themselves. You could suggest the whole group splits the cost of the bride-to-be so she doesn't have to pay.



The best idea is to sit down with the bride-to-be and see if she has anything in mind about what she wants to do.



Here is a good resource for hen party ideas - http://www.gohen.com
Jenny Lynne
2011-02-10 13:21:23 UTC
My reference guide on weddint etiquette is

"The Definitive Guide to Your Wedding Experience" by Peggy Post, great grand daughter in law of the late Emily Post, the be all, end all of etiquette, especially wedding etiquette, she states,

"A bachelorette (hen meaning the same thing, this term is used more in the UK, bachelorette in the US) is very similar to the bachelor party and is given by a bride's female friends. It is different from the bridiesmaids luncheon'.....the guest list may include other friends in addition to the attendants. the basic idea for these events is to treat the groom or bride to one last night out as a single person. The guests are good friends, the atmosphere is relaxed, and there's no reason not to have a great time---so long as everyone is willing to exercise self-control. If alcohol will be served, a designated driver should be appointed or arrangements made.... Whatever entertainment is planned, it should not embarrass, humiliate, or endanger the honoree or any of the guests. It's wise to hold a b. party a week or more before the wedding, so everyone can rest after what will probably be a late night. If gifts are given, they're usually inexpensive and often humorous, and guests should be able to find items that are both funny and in reasonably good taste. B. Celebrations are by no means necessary. No one should be "guilted" or bullied into organizing or hosting such a gathering. Some brides and grooms prefer to skip it altogether, and good friends should honor the couples' wishes."



Therefore, you nor any member of the bridal party are obligated to "throw" or give the b/hen party.



However, if you wish to, since you are the only bm, you could speak with the bride in private and if she wants this party, perhaps she could suggest other friends who would be willing to help host this party or perhaps she might wish to help pay, but in private.

You and whomever is helping you do pay for whatever refreshments, food, etc. To me a nice dinner in a restaurant and then somewhere to have maybe a drink or two or to someone's home to just chill out and have a girl's night out.

Some sites to help you if you do decide to do this:

http://www.hen-party-shop.ie

http://www.henpartysuperstore.com

http://www.henpartyaccessories.com

http://www.stumpsparty.com

There is no need for a theme; however, matching t. shirts or a banner or a tiara for the bride, as seen in the above are cute. Keep it simple, have it at someone's home if funds are limited. Order take out, Chinese or pizza. Have everyone pay for their own. You can word it in a way so that they will know in the invites or speak with them privately on the phone.

So, to sum up, your are not obligated, contrary to public opinion. But, the bride may be under this wrong assumption, so simply talk to her in private about it, if she wants one, she should have to help pay and suggest others that might be willing to help host. Also, her Mother might want to help out, even though this is for single/younger friends.



As to what's expected fun, some games, as in above, but mainly a bunch of women who get together will not need much help, they will each have their own story to tell, the married ones anyway and others will have heard funny, etc. happenings at weddings, so basically it is a night for the bride to just wind down, be single and have fun. The bride will have a chance to be the center of attention and can talk about whatever she wants.



Some questions to have on hand, how did she meet fiance', when did she know he was the one, etc.

Just chill and have a good time.
cjsmummy
2011-02-11 15:20:07 UTC
you dont have to pay for the others - they all pay for themselves.its also not really neccessary to pay for the bride all by yourself - im sure the others would chip in or do as im doing which is paying for myself



a lot of hen and stags these days are choosing long weekends and theme parties - its just a nice thing and means that you and the guests and the b2b all get more out of it than a hangover!



get in touch with the rest of the hen party - what you do will be decided by individual budget (some may not be able to afford a night or two away for example) and ask the bride if she has any definite no-nos



you dont need to go overboard with a theme either - you can simply go black and pink.wear black bottoms,pink tutus and have t-shirts printed with the date and names of the hen party,dont forget to add a veil and 'l' plate for the bride,add some hen night dares and youre all set!



just a few companies who arrange hen nights:



http://www.henparties.com/



http://www.henheaven.co.uk/



http://www.chillisauce.co.uk/hen-nights/



loads of different ideas on these sites - some that you may be able to find where you live.remember as well that lots of places dont like taking large group bookings so its better to book through a site that can find the places for you



if funds are very limited,then i would say have a pamper party - many salons now offer these,or you can arrange one in the comfort of your own home (or the brides,or any other member of the hen party).get a facial and a mani/pedi and a few bottles of wine,take-away and some ultimate girlie-chick flicks (or actions,or whatever you all like)



some people are happy with a retaurant and club,others arent.any night out is only as good as the people you go with - ive had some fantastic on-the-spur-of-the-moment nights out and some pretty dimal arranged nights out.i may just be a complete control freak but i would like to be involved with the organising of my hen do,at least as far as what i want to do anyway (mine involves a burlesque theme,a long weekend and edinburgh).keep it simple and you cant go far wrong.also,relax - its meant to be fun!if you feel over-whelmed,get help from some of the hen party or the bride - after all,its their night as well.hope it all goes well,whatever you do :)
?
2016-11-30 10:40:38 UTC
it quite is form of not elementary to declare, using fact interior the US, no one organizes our equivalent of a hen occasion extremely much a year previous to time. additionally, as a regularly occurring rule, the MOH (chief Bridesmaid) isn't having dissimilar conferences with the bride, distinctly this a strategies out. Our version of a hen occasion is exciting, besides the undeniable fact that it quite is pulled mutually in a pair weeks, even much less. So all of this sounds severe to me. however the key is that i don't think of it quite is honest to subtly ask somebody else to anticipate her responsibilities devoid of the identify. If there is somebody interior the bridal occasion you're close to to who's certainly not insulted on the way she grew to become into asked to be chief Bridesmaid (using fact's amazingly insulting) then do exactly this. Then ask the different lady if she'd extremely stay to tell the story as bridesmaid or drop out completely. using fact you do not care relating to the friendship, that would desire to artwork. yet once you're chatting with the guy you have the opt to make MOH, properly known your guy or woman function extremely than rip the different lady to shreds. such as you're saying, the bride shouldn't cope together with her own, yet on an identical time, she ought to be careful to %. people who will pay attention to what variety of experience she needs. You did not try this, and you are able to desire to possess as much because it. in any different case, she would contemplate whether you will do an identical component to her.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...