Am I the only one who doesn't like public proposals?

Question

I just can't stand when couples get engaged in public or even worse, the engagements where the entire family is present or surprises the girl by being around the corner or something. All of my friends and I had private proposals and were talking about how we wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I just feel like it's such an intrusion on a private moment in someones life, no different than their first kiss or first time time making love. You know? I just don't get it. I thought of this because one of my brothers is proposing soon and I advised him against this kind of proposal.

Answer 1

I was once driving past a billboard with my then-boyfriend (now fiance!) that said "Julie, will you marry me? Mark" and I turned to him and said "dont you ever do that!! i want an intimate proposal!"

he knew i was going to say yes (we planned it all out together, definantly NOT a surprise! we knew we were going to get married from a few days after we met, just had to wait until it was "appropriate") but i would hate it.

the place he proposed was public, its a big park in the city that we have had many special moments together at, but he proposed at 10pm so it was very private and intimate =]



personally i hate them, but some girls love it, and im nosey so i dont mind =]

Answer 2

I hate it! I totally agree and think it should be private between the couple. Although, there are some times were the engagement might be semi-public, but not on purpose. I know a couple that got engaged while on vacation on the beach during sunset. Of course, it was a public beach and they couldn't ask people to leave. But, the guy tried picking a spot away from everyone else, but some people still saw. So, that's understandable.



But, I hate people that intentionally plan public proposals. Why would you want a bunch of strangers involved in your private moment?

Answer 3

I'm not a fan of public proposals. I've seen one public proposal. It was in the middle of Wollman Rink in Central Park. It was okay, but personally, I wouldn't want a bunch of strangers knowing my business. I'd prefer having my family (and his) in a private setting (such as a family dinner) present. I guess the type of proposal is up to the persons. Some people just like being in the spotlight and some don't.

Answer 4

I have seen two on TV and read of a third that are of note ...



The first was a guy on a horse in armor who invited the media to witness his proposal. He was there all dolled up, and she was a no show. When contacted and asked by said media, she said she would have said no. I felt sorry for him, but he was clearly not in tune with his beloved.



The second was on the jumbotron at a basketball or hockey game. He got down on one knee, and then she threw a beer in his face and ran off. If it wasn't a set up for comedy, then he was also not in tune. It was too funny for me to feel sorry for him though.



The third was intricate. Two crossword buffs were doing a puzzle together ... a puzzle that the guy had secretly rigged by contacting the puzzle's authors in order to have them custom make a proposal. As they went through the puzzle, the answers were - to her - oddly personal and thematic. And then at the bottom, a long blank turned out to be 'will you marry me?' or something. She wept and said yes.



I guess technically the third was not public because the public would not see the solutions in the same way the bride to be/couple would. But still, it was all out there for people to see, and of course it made the papers.



And so, I think that if a couple truly loves each other and knows it, and they have a sweet and intimate way of publicly proposing - like the crossword, as opposed to the knight - then I don't have a problem with it. If it is a weird situation and the couple are not really connected, then no, I don't think it is a good idea.



BTW: in the vein of crosswords, my dad once did a crossword after decades of marriage and found his last name across with my mom's maiden name overlapping down. He saved it under glass on his desk. Cute!

Answer 5

I agree with the first person. Everyone is different. Some people might think it's really neat to have all their family there when being proposed to. My proposal was while we were walking around at a beautiful resort. My family was there somewhere, but they weren't with us when he proposed. So the only people that probably say us were a couple of hotel guests or something, and I didn't really care. I know I wouldn't have wanted to get proposed to in front of our families, but some people like that and there's nothing wrong with it.

Answer 6

It really doesn't matter to me either way. It just depends on how the couple feels about it. My husband proposed privately and I wouldn't go back and change it for the world, but if he would have done it publicly I wouldn't have said no. Some people like to do the whole big show and there is nothing wrong with that. Different things are special to different people.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

I just hate proposals, I have been engaged once, and am now married to a different guy. Its like Valentines day for me, you need a "moment" to tell me how much you love me? No, just look me in the eyes and say "ready" and "yes"; that's what my husband did!



My first engagement was beautiful though, message in a bottle floating in the ocean, I found out and when I turned after reading guy was on his knee :) Planned a HUGE 3-day wedding, and I walked out 2 weeks before the altar, TOO MUCH Stress and just knew that there were such large differences that I would never get over, we are friends now..... he's with the maid of honor, they are going strong 4 years!



Now my husband and I knew after 3 days that we would spend the rest of our lives together. 5Months later I looked at him and said- "so what do you think?" he said "i say yes, I'll call my uncle" 3 days later we were married (Uncle is a judge) just like that and I have never been happier! 18months and still stronger than ever!

Answer 9

When other people do it - love it. I'm a gawker, and love a good spectacle.



For me personally - if it's in front of close family, it wouldn't bother me; I would be delighted to share this special moment with them. If it's in front of not-so-close family, or a crowd, or strangers - not so much; I don't like being put on the spot and being the center of attention.



It depends entirely on the person and on the couple. Some people love to draw attention to themselves, so a public proposal would be perfect for them.

Answer 10

yeah I mean a guy can't be sure a girl will say yes and shouldn't put her in the position of having to answer in front of others on the spot. for over a year before I got engaged, I wanted a proposal but thought there were issues to discuss at that time should it happen, before I could say yes. luckily we got the issue figured out months ago so when he proposed 3 weeks ago of course I said yes!

Answer 11

I don't like public proposals either because it is a very personal time and the pressure to react in a certain way would be felt by both the guy and girl.



However, everyone is different so each to their own I say!

Answer 12

I think people should do proposals the way they like it without regard to other people's opinions. It is such a personal choice, it needs to be just as one would like it.

Answer 13

i proposed to my wife in her family's house in jamaica, right in front of her sister and my sister. i laid the ring on the table in front of her, and when she picked it up to look at it, i got on one knee and told her she could keep the ring, but only if she married me...my sister swore she was going to say no, but after a few seconds, she laughed and said yes. very unconventional, i know. but its ok...i wouldnt do it differently if i had the chance, and my wife said she loved it...i guess it just depends on the people if it's private or not...my best friend was on a trip when he proposed, and they were by themselves...and he's a very private person..so it depends on their personalities and personal preferenece

Answer 14

I'm with you. I don't like them at all. I witnessed one once and I thought, while it was nice to see a proposal, I don't think if it was me I'd want to share this private moment with a bunch of people who mean nothing to me.

Answer 15

I am inclined to believe that people who propose in public are very insecure and are thinking that the "intended" will feel embarrassed into answering yes. I don't think it is right at all. I would hate to think that I had to almost "trick" or "force" a person to say yes.

Answer 16

I does not bother me if i see someone get engaged in public. I usually feel happy for them. But i am very happy that my proposal was not public.

Answer 17

My husband did that to me. everyone had camera and i looked like a hot mess ! i bawled and of course someone snaped several pictures of the ugly cry moment .... i really wish it wouldve been a private moment instead of a showcase.

Answer 18

well, different people come with different point of view. I can tell you that you are not the only one here. But again regarding your brother, it's not wise to advise like that since it's not depend on you but depend on your brother and his partner/girlfriend/beloved one. Since it will be their day not me, you or anybody else.:)

Answer 19

I know i can't stand it either. Imagine if somebody asked you to marry him and you wouldn't want to but you feel like you'd have say to because his family is sitting their and waiting for you to say yes. it's ridiculous i don't mind other ppl doing it but i wouldn't want someone to propose to me like that.

Answer 20

I hate the idea of them, too. I mean, I don't really care if other people have them, but for me personally?



Eek! I find that terrifying.

Answer 21

Cleveland 01/15/10



What of the SEGWAYS,.? They, when improved may, just become the way of the city,..'en city dwellers,.Inventions are the product from thoughts,.that become materials,.Meanwhile,..some

inventions be intangible,..A way of doing stuffs,..Be, so unique that makes the way patentable,..

Do you know,..Proposals starts some of the greatest of developments,..achievements,..even,.

Gov'ts.



So,..do not shoot the messenger,.find out what he's bringing,..he could be bringing a big ch-

eck as grant money,..and, unannounced award,.Stuffs like that,.



Enjoy life dearie,..Concider proposals,..The way Pilots land Airplanes,.and, take off,..Health

Insurance Coverage for every citizen,.Yeah,..?? Just a couple of my many PROPOSALS,..



Eliasis Yahwehei ( The Main Man )