I agree with you, it is rude. And as I often say here, people who are rude and do things like asking for money are asking to be left out of the next gift grabbing opportunity.
And I see it so much here, sure, there are folks here who ask questions just to get people riled, but some truly think they should be able to ask for what they want. Hey, again with the Rivers always says: "This is not your 8th birthday, I'm not your Grandma, you do not get to tell me what you want for a present!"
And Rivers does make the distinction, if someone close to you asks what you want, and you deliver the line you are politely supposed to: "Anything you wish to give me" and the guest says, "no, really what do you want", then Rivers sees no reason to lie. Especially when the reason for saying "money" is a good one. "Money, Grandma, please. We are saving for the down payment on a house," "Or, we really do need a grand piano, Jenna could earn extra money giving lessons, and it will give us years of enjoyment."
Guests really do say things like, "see if she gets a baby shower present out of me." When they feel ripped off.
And Rivers, many years ago, changed her attitude about the registry. A registry is not supposed to be in your face, here gimmy these expensive items. It is supposed to be there if the guest wants it. Rivers used to think it was pretty gimmy gifts, too. But the first time I had to buy gifts for someone I did not know well, that registry was a God send.
If the list is done right, where there is a variety of gifts and price ranges, and if there is no mention of it in the invitation, [ruder than rude], then it is OK to have one.
And the people who do not send thank you cards? there is absolutely no excuse on earth, I don't care if your spouse died! You still write thank yous! I do not care if you did not like the gifts, as was the case with a friend of mine, she thought her friends and the ladies of the church were cheap.