Do I cancel my wedding?

Question

I just told my mother that my fiance and I are expecting. I will be about 29 weeks pregnant when our wedding is scheduled to take place. My mother wants me to cancel it. She says it would be embarrassing and that this changes things. I really didn't want to cancel my wedding. I wanted a real wedding and I have been planning for months. Everyone already has their desses, I won't get refunds on my reservations. Etc. What should I do!?

Answer 1

It's your wedding and your decision. If you want to keep the wedding plans, then do so.



The only caveat here would be if your mother is paying for the wedding. If she's paying, then she gets a say in the plans. If she wants you to cancel the wedding because of your pregnancy then she would be within her rights to withdraw her monetary support to make that happen.



If your mom is paying for some/all of the wedding and is making demands that you don't want to obey, then you need to have a backup plan where you pay for the wedding yourself so that you have 100% control. Even if it means drastically scaling back the plans.



I don't know what you mean by "I wanted a real wedding." A "real wedding" happens when you get married ... whether it's in a big white gown in a church with 200 guests, or on the beach with 20 guests in a sundress, or in your jeans at the courthouse with just your partner.



Whether or not you're "embarrassed" by being a pregnant bride is up to you, not your mom. Plenty of people are pregnant at their wedding or have already had a baby or two. It happens. It doesn't make you a bad person and it should not be a reason for other people to look down their nose at you.

Answer 2

don't cancel it. being pregnant and showing is only visual proof that you have been having sex with your fiance, something which i imagine everyone already knows you are doing anyway. just give her a minute to get used to the idea and then talk with her and tell her that it is important to you to have the wedding before the baby is born and that all this planning and expense has already been done.



if you haven't gotten your wedding dress yet, perhaps you can find a style that minimizes the amount you would be showing, like an empire waist or something like that but don't worry. you will not be the first or the last bride to walk down the aisle pregnant.



many parents still have values that make this hard to take, and there is nothing wrong with that. but it would be wrong not to go ahead and have your wedding too, so try to console your mother as best you can and go ahead with your wedding plans.

Answer 3

You will be 6 months and 3 weeks pregnant by the time you have your wedding . If your mother feels it is embarrassing to have a wedding at such an advance stage of pregnancy rather than cancelling the wedding it will be possible to delay the wedding by roughly 3 months and few weeks so that you can have the wedding after delivering the baby . Discuss this matter with your mother .It will be easier more economical and less embarrassing than cancelling the wedding . You will have a fresh look at the wedding . No harrassment to the invitees as well .

Answer 4

At this point it would be far more embarrassing and foolish to cancel the wedding. Your mother needs to get over the fact that life isn't always picture perfect and that the baby is coming. What would she be embarrassed about next? A baby at a wedding? This is just her way of punishing you for getting pregnant which is wrong in all sorts of ways. It's time to stand up to your mother and your family. You deserve to have your wedding. You should never be embarrassed to be pregnant with your future husband's baby. Be proud and excited, and everyone else will be too.

Answer 5

Everyone attending will already be aware that you are expecting a Blessed Event....so where's the embarrassment? In today's society no one cares because it's so common place. I would just go ahead with the wedding. If Mom has issues with you wearing an all white dress, add a touch of color to it..perhaps a deeper version of the color your maids are wearing & skip the face covering portion of the veil, which is traditionally a symbol of virginity.....good luck. ( btw, I am prolly your mother's age or younger-62y/o so you really can't say this is a generational thing anymore) Being pregnant is no reason NOT to have a wedding or get married.

Answer 6

You are an adult, so start making your own decisions.

Let your mother know you will be having your wedding, and you hope she will be there to share your happy day. It's the right thing to do, because then you will be married when your baby arrives - to happily married and settled parents, who have had their wedding day the way they dreamed of it, surrounded by people who love them.



If you show that kind of resolve leadership- which you will certainly need as a parent- your mother will be more likely to just go along with this. She can make all the fuss she wants, but it defies logic why anyone would prevent you from getting married- you had that intention to begin with, and being pregnant should only make it more appropriate, not less.



Best wishes - go have the wedding that was meant to be.

Answer 7

You can cancel for any reason. Even when the day of the wedding gets here, you can cancel it.



But, make sure that you have a good reason to cancel. If your reason for cancelling is that you are expecting, there's no need to cancel.

Answer 8

If you want to cancel because you don't know if hes the one, then you should cancel the wedding. If its because you're mom is embarrassed, don't do it. If you love him, get married! But do not let money stop you from canceling this wedding. If its about that, know that a divorce costs a lot too. Goodluck, hope it works out

Answer 9

I absolutely wouldn't cancel. It is a very important day to youu obviousy, and it is YOUR day and your fiance's. Don't make the mistake a lot of people do and organise your big day around everyone else's orders. There is nothing embarrassing about being pregnant when you are getting married! That baby will be part of our family after all! Do whatever YOU want to do, and not anyone else! :)

Answer 10

If you're about to become a wife and mother, it's time to start making your own decisions! Think about how you'd feel if your fiance's mom was saying this stuff and he wanted to suddenly change plans. You'd be annoyed that he's letting mommy run your lives, correct? That's how he must be feeling.



Tell your mom your decision is final and to please not bring it up again, because it just creates awkwardness.



Also, I agree with Beatrice that it complicates things if your mom is paying for this. In that situation, she's the hostess, not you, and if you can't get her to see that there's nothing wrong with this, you and your fiance may need to pay yourselves and plan something much smaller, like a backyard barbecue in a couple of months.

Answer 11

Go through with your plans, no reason to cancel it really.



You just may need to get a new dress or see about getting the one you have altered. Lots of dresses can hide or minimize the pregnancy bump. Though being that far along hiding it may be difficult.



Besides I think if you cancel it after all your attendants have purchased their attire then you should be reimbursing their costs.



A baby is a blessing not an embarrassment regardless of when it happens and whether it was planned or not.

Answer 12

Who's paying?



If Mom is paying, and she just closed up the checkbook, you are out of luck. If it's you, go ahead and have your wedding. As a seamstress, I can tell you you will likely need massive alterations on your dress. Budget for that.



By the way, any wedding that includes a valid marriage license, an officiant who can legally solemnize the ceremony, and two people free to marry is a **real wedding.**

Answer 13

Don't cancel it. Waste of money. Unless you think it's a bad idea don't let anyone have an opinion. It's your wedding after all.



Congrats by the way and good luck x

Answer 14

In my opinion, I wouldn't cancel. I mean, why is it embarrassing to be pregnant at your wedding? If anything that would make everything even more special to know that you and your soon to be husband are going to have a beautiful new child. I think that your mother should be more supportive coming from the fact that she is going to become a grandmother! All in all, do not cancel your big day!!

Answer 15

There's no reason to cancel or change the wedding plans. The single thing you'll need to consider is the wedding dress, as this may not fit later on in the pregnancy and may need altering or changing entirely.

Answer 16

There's no need to cancel your wedding. Keep planning and ignore your fmil.

Answer 17

I don't really understand why it would be embarrassing for you to cancel the wedding, to be honest with you. Is it because you're pregnant? Who cares what people think. You're marrying this guy because you love him and want to start a family, right? NOTHING embarrassing about that.



Look, I admire the fact that you want to consider your mothers feelings but this day is about you and the family you're about to create with this man. Do what you want and what is best for you. Don't let anyone talk you into doing something you don't want to do, because trust me? Regrets suck and down the line it could cause problems for you and your mother if resentments set in.

Answer 18

IMO there is no legit reason to cancel a wedding because you are pregnant. Maybe it would be 50 yrs ago! All you need to do is wear a larger gown that is not to tight. Your mother needs to support you, not make an issue of you being pregnant and a wedding. Geez

Answer 19

NO! NO! NO! ...it's YOUR SPECIAL DAY* for You & Your Partner ...it's a Blessing that you're expecting..u'll just have to get a dress that expands enough for you for your day*..u will lose all ur deposits etc* and there will be no "good" time to reschedule your 'special day'/wedding' again*..with an infant*..tell ur mum, sorry , you've disappointed her and that she feels it'll be an embarassment..but THINGS HAPPEN* LIFE HAPPENS*..the Reality IS..You're expecting and You're getting Married*..Hopefully your mum doesn't STOP paying for whatever she's said she'd pay for..because of this unexpected pregnancy*. if that's the case...u can always go to Justice of the peace and get married*/court house*...and have a small friends/family gathering bbq*(as last resort) HOPEFULLY your mum will get over the shock* and KNOW that this is what makes YOU HAPPY* and follow through with original plans of getting married* as i said tho, just make sure you have a dress that u will be able to fit into with the baby bump* Congrats to ur upcoming wedding and birth of your child*

Answer 20

It's your wedding when it comes down to it! I would say not to cancel though

Answer 21

It's your wedding.

Do it YOUR way.

The day is all about you .. and your future husband ... so do it however you want to do it.

If you don't want to cancel -- then don't cancel ... you've already made lots of plans ... so go for it .. and have a gorgeous day full of love .. (your way).

Answer 22

Life is short. When you realize happiness comes from inside only then will you be truly happy.

It is hard for the world to get this idea. Everyone makes you feel like there is more to it then there needs to be.

Who cares about anything except your own happiness on your wedding day.

That is the one day in your life you should do what makes you feel happy.

Have a great wedding and good luck with the baby!

Answer 23

You're about to be a mom. You need to learn how to say "No, I'm in charge, and that's not how this is going to work" before the baby gets here. Tell Mom that yes, it does change things - and one of the things it changes is that she doesn't get to make your major life decisions for you any more. You and your fiance will decide what you do and don't consider embarrassing, or what the right timeline is for your new family, and any guests who don't approve are free to decline the invitation. Her included.

Answer 24

I wouldn't. The only thing I'd do is possibly re-think my dress, depending on how form fitting it is. You mother is embarrassed but people can do the math even if you cancel the wedding, and you'll have lost all that money for nothing.

Answer 25

I think it'd be a whole lot easier having the wedding at 6 1/2 months(as planned and probably contracted for) than after the baby comes. That blessed little person is going to change your life more than a wedding day will. Enjoy the two of you! You may be walking zombies after a few sleepless nights after the little one arrives. Don't take on two stresses at the same time-even wonderful ones. P.S. It also gives you a chance to get the wedding gifts put away before the baby gifts arrive!

Answer 26

Don't cancel your wedding. Have it and enjoy it.

Answer 27

I think your mum is going to be the only one embarrassed here. Remind her that if things are booked you will lose the money and make sure she knows how much. Explain why you want to get married when you have set it for. As for pregnancy, well, the only thing it will affect is your dress. Everything else can pretty much happen as you've planned it.



Your mum is a little in the dark ages. Just accept that she has issues with it and I hope for your sake she accepts the situation as is. You can't change it now.

Answer 28

Calmly explain to your mother that since it's not 1950 anymore, no, you won't be canceling your wedding

Answer 29

I think having a wedding is fine as long as you aren't putting the babie's needs before your own wedding wishes. Good Luck and congratulations. G-d Bless.

Answer 30

See if you can adjust the date of the wedding. If not, it really is up to you. This is your day, not your mother. You also can do a courthouse wedding and legally be married prior to the show wedding. It is really just your feelings and what you feel like doing. Sometimes, mother think they know what best and do try to protect their child from things, such as small talk, judgment of people and what not.

Answer 31

You know, to be honest, I really think your mother needs to wake up out of 1956 and get on with living in the 21st century. People barely blink a lash when a 17 year old KID gets pregnant anymore.



You being pregnant at the altar won't make a lick of difference and no one will sit there and say "Oh my, how gauche, pregnant out of wedlock! I do say, how dare they, good fellow!" Silly. Being pregnant and unwed does not carry the same stigma as it once did and your mother is worried over NOTHING.

Answer 32

I think that you should have this wedding. This is your wedding, not your mother's. I understand that she's looking out for you, and that's good, but I think that in the end it is all your decision.

Answer 33

Your mother isn't getting married you are. She sounds like she's more worried about what people think than anything. Sad. If I were you I'd go ahead with the plans. If you need to give her a good reason, tell her you want your baby to have his/her fathers and mothers last names the same on the birth certificate

Answer 34

don't cancel, your marrying the love of your life obviously! wedding day is just one day, not a life time with your husband and child.

Answer 35

I don't know that much about your situation or if you have already made the decision, but do not let your mother make that decision for you, she has already had her wedding. This is YOUR wedding. Do not be embarrassed about your pregnancy. Hope this helped!

Answer 36

Don't cancel the wedding the baby in your tummy will be part of the ceremony.

Answer 37

No, not if you don;t want to. Are you okay with it? It's your wedding, not your moms. She already had her day. If you are okay with it, go for it. If you are not, that's a different story. Have a wonderful marriage. Till death do you both part,.

Answer 38

Don't cancel, if it's embarrassing for her then she doesn't have to attend, getting married while pregnant isn't like it was years ago, it's actually quite common.

Answer 39

First of all, is YOUR wedding. You decide what you want to do.

Second of all, it will be embarrassing to bring a baby before you got married.

From now on, there are only 2 people to decide what you do with your life: you and your husband.CONGRATULATIONS, HAVE A NICE HONEY MOON

Answer 40

Look, stranger this is your life! You're an adult now and you make your own mind up. If this wedding makes you happy then go for it, you don't live a short life to please others, good luck and let me know how it goes. Congratulations!!!

Answer 41

Cancel the far away wedding and just have something small asap. Congrats!

Answer 42

White is supposed to be a sign of purity. You certainly don't qualify but with the lack of morals in society now few people do. Go ahead and get married.

Answer 43

dont cancel your wedding, your mom is just worried at what people may think seeing you pregnant

Answer 44

Who is paying for the wedding? If you are, you do whatever you want....if mom is the moneybags, you have to gracefully come up with some other way. Sorry if that's the case.

Answer 45

I say do what makes you happy. Don't let other people opinions change who you are as a person or what your life decisions are. Listen to your heart. Not others heads.

Answer 46

do not cancel your wedding.do what makes you happy.its your wedding not your mothers own besides she had her chance

Answer 47

I think the real question is why you're asking a bunch of random people on the internet this. Instead of talking it over with your Mother and finance. Is it really so hard to decide?

Answer 48

have your wedding, then when the baby is born its mummy ad dady will be bonded forever

or dont, postpone it and get the excuse to buy cute baby wedding clothes

Answer 49

If the plans are already made go ahead with them. The decision is yours not mom's, especially if she is not fitting the costs for it, no offense.

Answer 50

don't cancel

Answer 51

Don't listen to your mum

Answer 52

go ahead with wedding many brides are expecting

Answer 53

Maybe delay it for a little while. And hire a baby sitter for the baby well your getting married.

Answer 54

don't cancel

Answer 55

Don't cancel it. It's your life, not hers.

Answer 56

its your wedding, not your mom's. you're an adult, make your own choice.

Answer 57

If you ever feel like quitting think of why you started

Answer 58

If you still have to do what mommy tells you to do, you are not ready for marriage OR parenthood. How old are you?

Answer 59

Don't do it

Answer 60

Please write both of birth details will see what is hold in your destiny regarding your marriage or marriage life

Answer 61

don't do it. you'll look hideous

Answer 62

Tell your mom to go suck a dick.

Answer 63

yes you can

Answer 64

You have to do what you need to do! :)

Answer 65

Do what you want.

Answer 66

yes.