Need help fast! What should I say for the wedding invitation regarding gifts. 10 pts for best answer!?

Question

I am filling out a form right now to submit for my invitation order. I do not plan to have a wedding registry and I don't want to put the word "gift optional" on the invitation either.

Basically I did not want to put anything on the invitation at all. I believe if people want to bring something , they can call and ask or just bring what they feel. I do not want anyone to feel guilty or pressured into bringing a gift or feel bad if they cant when they see a gift registry on the invitation.

However my fiancee and family thinks i should still put something to avoid confusion and repeat of gifts. I still personally strong about my position however I understand their point of view as well.


I have decided maybe i could just put something that says, if you are interested in gifts please enquire at the stated email address or contact number, something to that effect


What short phrase should i put? Any suggestion how how i should state it? What to say?

GREATLY APPRECIATE IT? ten points for best answer!

Answer 1

Nothing. It is highly improper to mention gifts in any way on (or enclosed with) the invitation. I know people do it, but that doesn't make it right. If they want to know what you want/need, they will ask.



If there are duplicate gifts, you can exchange them; people have done that since the beginning of time and it's not that big a deal. Just remember to thank people sincerely for their thoughtfulness and how much you appreciate them being a part of your special day.

Answer 2

Please don't put anything.



You are right - if people want to give - they will.



Don't suggest that people call or email for suggestions. That really does smack of materialism. And you can't possibly have a suggestion for every single guest without repeats.



You have to let people give according to their wishes and finances. You really don't want to tell someone a suggestion that cost $100 when they can only afford $20.



There was a time there was no such thing a gift registries. And people managed. If you get dupes - you can deal with that after the wedding.



The purpose of a wedding invitation is to invite people to spend your special day with you. That supposedly is gift enough to you. That they would take the day from their lives to spend with you.



It has evolved that people bring gifts. So you think of it that gifts are not expected or "optional".



Leave any mention of gifts - one way or the other - off the invitation.

Answer 3

You are right, you say nothing at all about gifts on the invitation. Your guests will give you what they want. If they ask, just say "anything at all would be fine". Gift giving is at the discretion of the giver, which means your guests get to choose what to give, where to buy, etc. Your guests won't be confused. Everyone knows how to purchase a wedding gift.



People have been getting duplicate gifts for decades. There are easy ways to deal with this. An extra toaster can be stored for the time when your toaster stops working. They don't last forever. My sister gave me a duplicate set of Corning ware she received. Some items can be returned and exchanged.

Answer 4

Go on ebay they have some lovely poems for wedding gifts eg asking for money for a honeymoon etc! Me and my fiance get married in august and have lived in our own house for 2 years with our 2 kids so obviously we have everything! I went on ebay and found a poem that roughly going off memory says that since we have everything gifts of money put into our wishing well ( we bought a cardboard wishing well from ebay ) which after the wedding means we can update what needs updating in the house! Its worded in a lovely way also stating they dont need to participate if theyd rather not! Go and look they make being cheeky alot nicer lol

Answer 5

In the same envelope as the invitation and RSVP information..... on a separate card state that the couple has a registry at target/Walmart. However, don't say anything that requires the word "gift". Honestly, you won't get any actual gifts if you don't have a registry, trust me.... I went to a wedding last year and that person put "gifts greatly appreciated". It was so tacky. Everyone just gave them a card. No one will give you an actual gift if they don't know what you want.

Answer 6

You never mention anything about gifts on an invite. That's tacky and rude (whether you're requesting then or not).



As you said, leave it off, if people want to bring something they will. Don't include anything that says "email to inquire" that's even worse than putting it on the invite itself. That's like telling someone they have to work to come to your wedding and be a guest.

Answer 7

You do not put anything



The only gift I had that was repeated was cash

For those who gave gift, we did not get to of the same

Would your fiancee have a problem with getting cash more than once?



Repeat gift happens

At showers and weddings

If it happen you will return them

Most people put in gift receipt today

Answer 8

Nothing. You never mention anything to do with gifts on the wedding invitation.

Answer 9

Stick to your guns.... Weddings are no longer about the receipt of gifts, it's about sharing your special day with the people you love.



Don't mention gifts, then you'll know that the gifts you DO receive were bought because they WANTED to buy you something, not because they felt they should because you were asking for specific things.



Oh and congratulations on your forthcoming wedding.

Answer 10

never ever mention anything about gifts on a wedding invitation. shower invitations are the place to put gift information. it is very poor etiquette to mention gifts in a wedding invitation. if you get repeat gifts, you simply exchange them yourself and make no mention of it to the giver.



please follow your instincts and do not put anything concerning gifts on or in your wedding invitation. even if you had a registry you would still not include that information in the wedding invitation. wedding gifts are entirely optional and no mention of gifts should ever be included in the invitation to a wedding.

Answer 11

It's simple. NEVER mention gifts on an invite, even saying they're optional. This is one of the most long standing etiquette rules of all, and the sane people you invite will be aware of it. Those telling you otherwise are flat-out wrong.

Answer 12

I think you've got it right, and the future in-laws not so much. If there is no information about a registry included, that is generally a hint that the couple isn't interested in gifts. Word of mouth is sufficient if people are still interested in giving you anything.

Answer 13

You are correct.



Your fiance and family are absolutely wrong.





No mention of gifts should be included on the invitation whatsoever. That would be extremely bad taste.

Answer 14

goodness- nothing ever is on the invitation concerning any type of gift, even it you want donations to a charity.

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Answer 15

...just tell (them) to give MONEY ! (or Vodka)