How do I tell my future mother in law that I do not want her to throw my bridal shower?

Question

I would prefer my sisters to throw it for me, but she has pushed her way into doing it and will not ask anyone for help.

Answer 1

You tell her you read in an etiquette book that family members can't throw the shower, then you ask your sisters to have their shower officially hosted by a friend or else called a "tea" or a "luncheon".

Relatives are not supposed to throw showers because a "Shower" is the only type of party for adults where a gift is required.

Answer 2

The tradition - never mind etiquette - is that the maid of honor puts together the bridal shower..whether its your sister or best friend. not the mother in law.



You have two options:

1. You tell her that your maid of honor will be throwing the shower along with your sisters and of course will be contacting her for help (hey..let the mother in law make something or hang up decorations - why not?)



or

2. If you think it will cause problems then go for two showers.



pushy or not that your mother in law may or may not be the fact that she wants to do this for you is pretty awesome.. I've never heard of a mother in law wanting so much to do the shower. She must like you - even if she's driving you nuts right now!



Just have your sisters include her in the planning and it may all work out fine.

Answer 3

There are a few things you could do. You could have multiple showers which is not unheard of. Or you could tell her that you really wanted your sisters to throw your shower. I would go with multiple showers though. Your mother in law could throw a family one and your sisters could throw one for your friends. I had two showers and it worked out really well. They were both completely different but it made everyone happy. I had one just for my friends that my mom wasn't even invited too. That one had a margarita theme. The family one was more traditional.

Answer 4

Why can't you have 2 showers? Let your sisters throw you a fun one with all your friends and the people you really care about and give your future MIL the b-list with the relatives you don't like very much. She sounds like a handful! Just wait till you have kids. If she's this pushy already maybe you should move out of state.

Answer 5

(Handwritten note to future Mother in Law)

Dear Future Mother in Law: I sincerely appreciate all the planning you've made for my wedding shower. Those piles of Martha Stewart wedding books and samples ordered also show that you already went into considerable expense. As a guilt trip for the fact that I'm taking your son, it's a good one. Still, you will have to wait to your other children to marry better women than myself. Since, oh well... i don't think you have good taste in the choices you've made so far so, save the clippings, the samples and hope that the magazines are still fashionable for little-jonnhys wedding. Greetings,

your future daughter in law.

PS: no, i don't like the dress you have chosen either for the reception.

Answer 6

Tell her that it is the bridal parties job to throw the bridal shower not hers and she will be there as a guest

Answer 7

Be polite, just tell her that with the schedule for everything, plus the showers already planned, you don't have time to do anymore. If she remembers her wedding, she'll remember how hectic it was and see things your way......GL;)