How do I tell parents to control their kids at my wedding?

Question

How do I tell parents to control their kids at my wedding?

Answer 1

I cant think of anything but what I would say to the parents in the wedding is, "Please take care of your kids, there are hot dishes everywhere and I dont want them to get hurt. :)" Or just set up a kids table of something so they can go crazy at that table and you'll just ignore those animals.

Answer 2

Improper my foot. I agree, no kids allowed, find a sitter, or you'll have to stay home. It's not rude, it's your day, you're allowed to do as you please.

Answer 3

You don't say anything, that would only cause tension between you and family members. Have your D.J. mention it, when the kids start running around or your getting ready to do your first dance etc. he can announce" We ask all parents at this time to round up their children so that the bride and groom can do their first dance" or "We have a lot of kids about could all parents please take their children for a moment". Anything to that effect. It will keeps things flowing, I had 30+ kids at my wedding.

Answer 4

That's a hard one, making the reception kid free is an option, but that might put people out, especially if they have travailed to the wedding and don't have anyone to look after the children, perhaps depending on the wedding you could provide sitting in another room at the reception.



Or you could try hiring someone to entertain children at the reception, which would be effective but isn't really addressing the problem.



Perhaps emphasis that it is a 'black and white' 'formal' affair, and that proper decorum would be appreciated. alternatively would you use word of mouth, confide in someone in the family with children who aren't too badly behaved, and ask them

Answer 5

Try to hire a babysitter so the kids can run amok in another room and you won't have to worry about them.





Since when must the children accompany their parents EVERYWHERE they go? Parents may and should have evenings out ALONE to enjoy each other and mix with other adults. All parents need time away from their children--for the sake of the children and the parents. I don't see a thing wrong with adults only weddings. For crying out loud, people need to find reliable babysitters as soon as their kids are born.

Answer 6

I work at a dental office and I'm always having to yell at kids whose parents ignore them. I tell go directly to kid and tell them to stop doing whatever and mom and dad usually get the hint that way and end up slightly embarrassed that someone else had to calm their kid down. they usually get the hint after that. Are you having a DJ? If you are ask him to make an announcement a couple minutes before the dance, something like.. "we're about to get ready for the Bridal dance, parents please be sure to get your kids off the dance floor".. and if certain parents ignore him or don't hear him the first time, I'm sure they'll be really embarrassed if he has to repeat it.

Answer 7

just politley say that this means alot to you and could they please control their kids

Answer 8

Say the reception is adults only, then you don't have to worry.

Answer 9

I am a mother of three and it is just as stressful on us to bring them somewhere and expect for them to behave when really it'[s boring for them. I think you should hire a couple of babysitters, bring games and toys for them to play with. That way they are there but not in the way.

Answer 10

blame it on where your having it, say that wherever you having it is really strict on getting out of control and you will have to pay an extra amount if it gets out of control. I feel for you, lol I want my wedding to be perfect just like a lot of other ppl, and parents who cannot control there kids suck lol.and chances are if you say kids can't come, the adults wont either since its a family thing, and they can't get family to watch there kids cuz they will be at the reception, so don't go that way. If it bothers you that much you could do an little extra thing for kids, like a play room just for them, or something like that. I have never had a problem like that so its kinda of hard to help you out. good luck and congrats.

Answer 11

Just don't invite the kids. On the inner envelope just put Mr. & Mrs Johnson. On the rsvp - someone had a great idea to put



___ of 2 will attend. (the bride wrote in the 2 ) If they can't come it is 0 of 2. If they both can come it is 2 of 2. That way it is clear that the kiddies are not invited without saying adult reception, or no kids. If there is a family that has older children that you want to invite (teenagers or well behaved kids) the you could do ____ of 4 or whatever it is.



Now if they don't come because their bratty kids aren't invited then so be it. You may be surprised though. Most parents welcome a night out where they can have fun being adults away from their kids.

Answer 12

You are right, it is improper ettiquette to put such a statement on an invitation. It is great that you want too include everyone, kids included.



Suggestions...you could hire babysitters for the kids during the reception. If that is not possible perhaps you can work with your DJ. If you plan to dance with your Dad first, then have the DJ clear the floor so you are the center of attention. Have the groom invite his Mom to dance part way through the song you choose to dance too with his Mom. Then have the DJ invite all the parents in the room to come out and dance with thier children. Moms with thier sons, Dads with thier daughters. Then you change to dance with your new husband, after you do that for a while have the DJ direct the Moms and Dads to dance together. Ohh and it would be soo cute if there was a part of the bridal dance where you and your groom dance boogie down with all the kids. present. You can consider this a problem or an opportunity to build family bonds.



If that doesnt work for you, can you set up a separate dance floor for the kids? Decorate it so its enticing to children. Or can you set up a supervised play area for the kids at your venue.



I want to tell you though, this seems like a huge deal now, but when it might not be the day of the wedding. You will be visiting with people and too busy to notice some of the things you did at other weddings.



Good luck and congratulations on your pending wedding.

Answer 13

The real issue here is not "controlling" the children. Think of it the other way around - how do the Toddlers control their parents to sit through 15 hours of Dora the Explorer? Sounds like something you would not want to do? Me neither. That's how the 2 year old would feel at the wedding reception when they are there. It's no fun watching everyone else having fun while you're left confined to a chair.



What I would do is make a little extra planning and have a few games/activity areas set up in either the corners of the reception area or even in the outside area to the banquet itself. You might be able to contact a local college that has an early childhood program and get a few people to run it for a low cost ~ allowing them to also take a break at certain points to join in the food and dancing if they want to.



Once you have that, remind the parents that there will be plenty of time that the children can "go crazy" on the dance floor and other times when you want them off. Be sure to include some dances that they can do as well (the hokey pokey, chicken dance...I'm sure any band or DJ would be able to think of quite a few others).



If you go that extra step to set something up for them, the children will not be as bored. If you do that and lay clear requests down before the reception as far as when you want the children off the dance floor and when it's ok for them to be on the dance floor, I cannot imagine a parent getting upset over that.



Matt

Answer 14

Remember that a wedding is a life cycle event, and the kids are an important part of the life cycle. You cannot tell parents how to parent their kids, so unless you want kids excluded, and you say you don't, you will just have to understand that that is how the wedding will be. You will insult parents if you imply that that they don't know what they are doing. There are only a couple of things I can think of which might help. One is to avoid serving alcohol at the reception. Not because the kids are drinking it, but because once they start drinking, the parents are less vigilant. Secondly, if you have a DJ, you can ask them to put in a quick, casual phrase, like, "And now, the new Mr. and Mrs. X will have their first dance as a married couple. Parents, keep your kids off the dance floor for this one!"



The most important thing I can say, though, is that most brides need an attitude adjustment. As important as the day is to you, no one is interested in staring at you nonstop for hours, even if you are the most beautiful bride ever. It is the unintended things, and especially things involving small kids (the ring bearer running off crying in the wrong direction, the toddler twirling right in front of the couple on the dance floor) that make a wedding fun for the guests. The "perfect" wedding is a crashing bore, and it is the things which don't work quite as planned that make it bearable for everyone other than the bride.

Answer 15

If you want to set up a 'distraction' table go ahead, but be aware that kids have a limited attention span. I'm never too sure about a 'kids' table' either as I think that the kids tend to play up even more on them. Specially as they have no direct adult supervision.



Separate room and baby sitter? Sounds expensive and works only if there is a spare room available. I wouldn't want them in the bridal room. If their parents don't want to pay for a babysitter, why should you?



Our families are huge, so the idea of having an adults only thing does not work - they were all (350 of them) invited and so were their kids . I didn't even consider not to invite the kids because it just wasn't done. They're family. They want to be a part of auntie's and uncle's wedding. Besides, with the whole family at the wedding who can you get to look after the kids?



Stay out of the situation., YOU don't tell them to control the kids or they'll be asked to leave - you WILL offend them. Especially the "asked to leave" bit. Stay the Good Guy by asking the MC, DJ or Band Leader to be the Bad Guy. The MC can do that because it will seem as if it is either him or the management of the hall that request it. It doesn't faze most MC's.



We asked our MC to make an announcement to parents to keep their children off the dancefloor every time something important was happening, such as making the speeches, cutting the cake, and the bridal waltz and the bridal party. Afterwards the MC made the invitation to everyone to join in. They were free to mingle in with the rest of the party. It was really cute seeing some of the littler ones dancing together. It worked.

Answer 16

When My Daughters had their Weddings they wrote down on the invitation, that the Kids were welcome to be part of the guests but, and they emphasize, that the Parents should be aware that they had to control their Kids or they would have to be left with someone, if they became unruly. I guess the guests did not mind it a bit, because most of them did not take their kids, and the ones who went their kids behaved really well. So, I do not see anything wrong when you invite some guests with kids and you emphasize in the invitation the rules concerning kids. But If I were you,I would tell my family about what you are going to write on the invitations, so there would be no hard feelings after wards. Good Luck! just remember a Wedding is a memorable experience and you want it to be perfect for you both,and it is an occasion that is a treasure to remember, with Love. the best solution is to provide on-site child care at your reception...most places have extra rooms for the bride and groom to get ready in, etc. etc. and most will give you a room to use specifically for child care...you can bring a tv and dvd and a bunch of games and hire a baby sitter and after dinner the kids can all go into a separate room and you can enjoy your reception without kids running around and screaming and doing what kids do...though sometimes it can be really cute and endearing to watch them do the centifpede and dance like adults...good luck...hope this helped...

Answer 17

That seems to be the norm these days. If you have a dj or a band, you could ask the dj or the singer to say something to the crowd like, this is a friendly request or reminder for parents to keep watch on their children so everyone can have a fun and enjoyable time. It would seem that the reception would be the appropriate place. Maybe the person performing the wedding can make a similar announcement if needed.



Hiring a babysitter is not a bad idea. I didn't do that at my wedding. I didn't have that many kids. My husband didn't like that idea because he felt that the kids would be excluded from the grown up stuff somehow. I bought special favors for the kids.

Answer 18

Some people tend to think that everyone and every place is (or should be) tolerant of children. Over the summer I was in a wedding party and during the groom's father's speech, a toddler let out a blood curdling wail and wouldn't stop. No one could hear a thing. The mom just sat there instead of scooping the kid up and walking him to the lobby for a moment.



You can address this on your invitation by saying something like "children welcome - please supervise them at all times." You may ruffle some feathers but those people know who they are. Also, you can ask the dj or emcee to clear the floor if any kids run on there during the bridal dances. Every family has one of those busy body aunts that doesn't mind having that kind of duty.



It's important to have something for the kids at the reception, like a pinata and the limbo. It seems tacky to some people, but it's all in good fun and sometimes it's pretty darn hilarious.

Answer 19

Maybe a better answer is to advise in the invite it is a formal invite and children are not invited (for cost reasons) however, if the parents are insistant their children be there, that they can foot the bill for the extra service. It's probably like $10-20 a child. That is a good chunk of money for the family to pay just so children are there. Make the parents pay. I would bet many of them will find other options, like a babysitter, rather than bring them along at their expense. So there would be fewer kids there to start trouble. Those that show up, I would just politely ask the parents to be mindful to keep a close eye on the children since this day for you only happens once. Personally, I am against kids at weddings. Especially those in the weddings. I know it is cute, but I swear only one out of a thousand of those cute kids seems to get their job right. If you have a good sense of humor, it is not a big deal, however, if you are high strung it may not be a good idea on your special day. Congrats.

Answer 20

It is hard when there is a Wedding reception, and the immediate family, meaning Brothers,Sisters,of both sides have small kids, that the Parents do not or can not control how they behave. When My Daughters had their Weddings they wrote down on the invitation, that the Kids were welcome to be part of the guests but, and they emphasize, that the Parents should be aware that they had to control their Kids or they would have to be left with someone, if they became unruly. I guess the guests did not mind it a bit, because most of them did not take their kids, and the ones who went their kids behaved really well. So, I do not see anything wrong when you invite some guests with kids and you emphasize in the invitation the rules concerning kids. But If I were you,I would tell my family about what you are going to write on the invitations, so there would be no hard feelings after wards. Good Luck! just remember a Wedding is a memorable experience and you want it to be perfect for you both,and it is an occasion that is a treasure to remember, with Love.

Answer 21

The easiest solution would be to say an adults only reception, but that is tough to do. I have a toddler and I would personally prefer not to bring her to a wedding, lol. I am assuming it is a day time wedding. Some ideas to keep the kids under control would be to provide some fun, quiet activities for them. Maybe you could have a small "kid" table with coloring books and washable crayons/markers? Crayola makes prodcuts that will only show up on the special paper; if the kids write on anything else, it's clear. You could also hire someone to watch over the kids and maybe play games with them or something to keep them from interfering with your wedding. I completely understand what you are going through. The easiest way to keep kids from going wild is to give them something to do. Most kids, especially toddlers, get wild and run because they have nothing else to do. If you want the kids there and you want them to behave, you need to make sure they have a good time too. Weddings are boring for kids. My cousin is getting married and the only reason my daughter is going is because she is the flower girl.

I also liked the idea someone had of blaming it on the venue. You could tell the parents that they are strict and don't want the kids running around like crazy.

Congrats on your wedding and Good Luck!!!!

Answer 22

OK well there is no easy way of saying please disipline your little devils but I know the feeling. Except your nicer than I am cause if I was spending money on my big day and everyone in my family couldnt respect the fact that it was my day then I wouldnt even bother with them.. But heres what you do..

Either blame the fact that you cant afford to have children there because it is to expensive to have food provided for them and they arent even gonna eat it so it is a waste of money. And that the reception is also an adults only( black tie affair maybe) and you are concerned because there will be free drinks and you would prefer it that minors are not there because you are responsible for them while they are at your party.... Or I would hire two younger girls to watch the children. They can bring coloring books and crayons and you can have a special table (way in the back) lol.. reserved for the kids only and the two caretakers.or in a fire house or a reception hall they may have a second smaller room where the bridal party may hang out. I would say use that room after the bridal party is done with it and have the children stay up there and again have the babysitters and activities and movie for them to watch.. :)

Answer 23

When My Daughters had their Weddings they wrote down on the invitation, that the Kids were welcome to be part of the guests but, and they emphasize, that the Parents should be aware that they had to control their Kids or they would have to be left with someone, if they became unruly. I guess the guests did not mind it a bit, because most of them did not take their kids, and the ones who went their kids behaved really well. So, I do not see anything wrong when you invite some guests with kids and you emphasize in the invitation the rules concerning kids. But If I were you,I would tell my family about what you are going to write on the invitations, so there would be no hard feelings after wards. Good Luck! just remember a Wedding is a memorable experience and you want it to be perfect for you both,and it is an occasion that is a treasure to remember, with Love.

Answer 24

You could have, in addition to coloring books and games, a selection of videos to watch and some special snacks just for them, maybe even a kids' cake which the DJ could announce when it is time for them to clear the floor. Still, they shouldn't be kept away from the adults' reception altogether. A lot of kids really love to see dressed-up parents engaging in rituals. Even uncontrolled kids can be well behaved when they know what is expected of them and they are treated with respect (they somehow manage it at school). If the bride herself, in all her finery, goes to the kids' play room to talk to them about how important the occasion is to her and how they can help her keep the occasion beautiful, and deputize older kids to help the little ones understand what is acceptable and what isn't, it should go well.Prior to your wedding you could ask your close friends and parents to help control the kids during the wedding dance, etc. I have been to weddings with lots of kids and they were a little hyper at times but mostly they just had a blast dancing with each other which actually amused a lot of the guests....I found it was more the adults who got drunk who were the ones that bumped into things and were hard to control!

Answer 25

When I was 7 I was the youngest of 4 flower girls in my aunt's wedding. They had a nursery for young children (my brother and sister were both 3 and 2) so that those with children, particularly if they were travelling from ut of town, could attend the ceremony, but there would be no disruptions from the little ones. If you are getting married in a church you may want to inquire as to whether they have a nursery room you may use. Then hire a couple of sitters to play with them or arrange games for them or see if a couple of the regular nursery workers are available for a couple of hours.



I have attended weddings with crying babies, unruly children, and toddlers too young to understand what is going on and. although childrean are a joy :), they can be an interruption to a beautiful occasion. Plus, if the parents try to control a child who gets unruly, that's just ANOTHER interruption. Look into some type of onsite childcare if possible.

Answer 26

I am assuming it is a day time wedding. Some ideas to keep the kids under control would be to provide some fun, quiet activities for them. Maybe you could have a small "kid" table with coloring books and washable crayons/markers? Crayola makes prodcuts that will only show up on the special paper; if the kids write on anything else, it's clear. You could also hire someone to watch over the kids and maybe play games with them or something to keep them from interfering with your wedding. I completely understand what you are going through. The easiest way to keep kids from going wild is to give them something to do. Most kids, especially toddlers, get wild and run because they have nothing else to do. If you want the kids there and you want them to behave, you need to make sure they have a good time too. Weddings are boring for kids. My cousin is getting married and the only reason my daughter is going is because she is the flower girl.

I also liked the idea someone had of blaming it on the venue. You could tell the parents that they are strict and don't want the kids running around like crazy.

Answer 27

You cannot tell parents how to parent their kids, so unless you want kids excluded, and you say you don't, you will just have to understand that that is how the wedding will be. You will insult parents if you imply that that they don't know what they are doing. There are only a couple of things I can think of which might help. One is to avoid serving alcohol at the reception. Not because the kids are drinking it, but because once they start drinking, the parents are less vigilant. Secondly, if you have a DJ, you can ask them to put in a quick, casual phrase, like, "And now, the new Mr. and Mrs. X will have their first dance as a married couple. Parents, keep your kids off the dance floor for this one!"

Answer 28

You could put a note in the invitation that states this is a formal event and children will be expected to act accordingly. You may also want to put someone in the family on kid patrol. If the kids become too out of hand, they can speak to the parents quietly for you. If the parents are not capable of disciplining their children, which is quite frequently the case, have the person on kid patrol quietly take the children by the arm, lead them to their parents and tell the kids that their behavior is inappropriate and not allowed at this event. Maybe then the parents will take the hint. If this happens enough, the parents will either get them under control, or they will end up leaving. You may also want to hit the dollar store for toys or coloring books to keep them busy when they get bored. Have the person on kid patrol keep them handy. But at least this informs both the kids and the parents of the expected behavior and doesn't leave anyone off the invitation list.

Answer 29

What's the problem with kids running all over the floor?



Unless they actually disrupt you or your spouse dancing together or with your parents, what's the harm?



If you want to be that much in control and have it picture perfect, then exclude the kids. If you want it to ge a celebration, as in where people are relaxed and have fun, then accept that people will be having fun.



They're not there for some antiseptic Kodak moment, they're there to celebrate and enjoy themselves. At my wedding, kids were doing body slides on the edge of the parquet dance floor all night long. Know what? It was far preferrable to having them leashed by the adults and getting cranky, whiny, bored and pissed off.



When the kids are able to enjoy themselves, the parents are able to have fun, adults don't get bothered as much, and the kids eventually get tired out and can be put to bed in their hotel rooms, with some parents sneaking back down to the reception.



Still, that's just my own preference. I can understand that someone who has their special day planned wnats it fit to their own image of what it should be like. Another idea is that you inform the parents that the reception, after dinner, is an adults event. Rent a couple extra adjoining rooms, and hire a team of non-family babysitters to keep the kids entertained for the evening. With two rooms you can have movies, TV shows and a variety of activites going on. The babysitters crash in the rooms after the kids have all been picked up. Set an ending time for the kids to be retrieved.

Answer 30

Depending on what type of wedding reception you would like, if your living in an area where it is nice out during the season your wedding is held, then why not have a wedding reception in a park with a pavillion. That way the children can play on the playground when they are bored and you can be able to enjoy your wedding reception. If that is not a option then here are a few ideas that will help



~Keep child friendly snacks at their area such as teddy grahams

~Keep at each table crayons and a few coloring books depending on how many children is sitting at the table.

~announce which dances is offlimits to children but other regular dances then the children can dance too.

~for babies, make a area that is baby friendly with playpens for when it's naptime that is nice and quiet.

~use an extra room as a sitting room and hire a child care taker to tend to the children.

~Make sure on the invitation that children are to behave themselves and that the parents needs to keep an eye on their children.



But most of all, enjoy yourself at the wedding. And remember every wedding will have some mishap one way or another. And half the time, you will be so intuned into your new husband that your gonna end up forgetting about what the children is doing and everyone else is doing because you will be on cloud nine. Good Luck and Congratuations.

Answer 31

Hello Melissa...i want to say that I know exactly what you are talking about...i help run a catering co. and work maybe 3 or 4 weddings a week during season...ive seen what you describe with the kids go on almost all the time...it can be extremely annoying...and from my experience the best solution is to provide on-site child care at your reception...most places have extra rooms for the bride and groom to get ready in, etc. etc. and most will give you a room to use specifically for child care...you can bring a tv and dvd and a bunch of games and hire a baby sitter and after dinner the kids can all go into a separate room and you can enjoy your reception without kids running around and screaming and doing what kids do...though sometimes it can be really cute and endearing to watch them do the centifpede and dance like adults...good luck...hope this helped...

Answer 32

The bottom line is you can't have it both ways. The parents are responsible for their kids. Your plans are to have a memorable wedding. Discipline runs into personal feelings and stepping on other person's toes. I would use your microphone to keep the pressure on them to keep their kids in line. A gentle reminder repeated is about as best as you can do. If you won't ask for adults only at the reception you have to live with the outcome. Parents seem to think their children can do no wrong. Maybe if they get a little embarrassed at the wedding if their child might get pointed out by someone saying. "Please keep the children off the floor" for the slow dances of bride and father and groom and mother in law or whatever. It might look cute, but pictures are the memory. Make sure your photographer is forewarned about your wild family children. Not much else you can do.

Answer 33

It would be a lot easier and more fun especially for the person is delegated (self or not) if you simply hire someone. Get a neighborhood babysitter and set up a few tables with coloring books, those disappearing markers and paints, playdough, depending on the ages a few games. Also you might need more than one teenager to do it. Even if it costs you a few hundred extra bucks it's totally worth it. How much could it be? At the most $50 per teenager to play with them and $5 per kid per activity. My fiancee has a really good relationship with children and basically no relationship with my best friend from college or her family (whom I have a very strong relationship with) it wasn't bad for him. He was actually greatful for something to do. But you don't want to put anyone in this situation. We have a 6 year old and are planning on having 2 teenagers and renting a hotel room for the kids just in case they get tired and need a break. It's better to spend the extra money so all the adults can have fun and still be close to the kids.

Answer 34

A separate optional play room for kids, with two babysitters rather than just one, is a good idea (sometimes one gets overwhelmed). You could have, in addition to coloring books and games, a selection of videos to watch and some special snacks just for them, maybe even a kids' cake which the DJ could announce when it is time for them to clear the floor. Still, they shouldn't be kept away from the adults' reception altogether. A lot of kids really love to see dressed-up parents engaging in rituals. Even uncontrolled kids can be well behaved when they know what is expected of them and they are treated with respect (they somehow manage it at school). If the bride herself, in all her finery, goes to the kids' play room to talk to them about how important the occasion is to her and how they can help her keep the occasion beautiful, and deputize older kids to help the little ones understand what is acceptable and what isn't, it should go well.



P.S. At the ceremony, you and your husband will be the stars. At the reception, you will be the hosts. You will have a responsibility to see that everyone has a good time, including the kids. It takes planning, like every other aspect of the wedding. And then it takes relaxing. Sometimes the unexpected things kids do are the most memorable moments.

Answer 35

If it is really your choice to have kids at the wedding then you pretty much just have to hope for the best! Most people will watch their kids during the wedding ceremony, but at the reception that is where it gets tricky....adults get to socializing and tend to forget the kids are running around so just expect that. Prior to your wedding you could ask your close friends and parents to help control the kids during the wedding dance, etc. I have been to weddings with lots of kids and they were a little hyper at times but mostly they just had a blast dancing with each other which actually amused a lot of the guests....I found it was more the adults who got drunk who were the ones that bumped into things and were hard to control!

Answer 36

There is "no" way to tell a parent to CONTROL their kids. The parents SHOULD know this, however from what you've said here, they have 'no' clue as to what is allowed and isn't at weddings...for heaven sakes the kids were running on the dance floor DURING the bridal dance? NOW that is just plain rude on the parents fault. Perhaps you should tell these parents how YOU felt when you saw this. This is really the only thing you can do to TRY and prevent this. OR: Set up a KIDS section - perhaps with their OWN dance floor and perhaps a funny clown/character to entertain them. That way the kids will have fun and you'll have a lovely wedding. G'luck on this...

Final note: Congratulations on your big day!

Answer 37

Don't tell parents they cannot bring their children to the wedding. A wedding is a family affair, not an office party; it would be very rude. I keep my children under very well control and do not allow them to act up when it is inappropriate: ex. grocery store, wedding, anywhere basically that is not at our home. If I was told I could not bring my children I would not go even if I was planning on leaving them with a sitter anyway. There have been really good ideas in answers so far, so use those ideas and come up with something creative like the DJ or the playroom. I especially like the DJ idea. If you are not having a DJ, have a strong male figure in your family make the announcement. Good luck!

Answer 38

I understand your dilemma. You are aware that you cannot escape this situation at any function. Now the function is your wedding. There is a solution. On your wedding day, you could create a seperate section/area for kids with a sensible childminder at hand. Hire more than one if you want to depending on the number of kids you would expect. There are positive outcomes by employing this approach - one it will be a novel idea which other folk will admire and the second is that it will tell about your concern and individuality for the kids which the parents would appreciate and would not be a improper etiquette. The whole idea is to make a point but with a gift wrapping......

Answer 39

Really the only way to have a nice reception is to have an adults only. You must of been at my wedding (HAHA) during our first dance we had screaming 6 year old (who I did not know, neither did my husband, it was a dates son) on the dance floor pulling at my dress and everyone started laughing then came about 5 other kids out with us. Our first dance along many other things were ruined that night because of all the out of control kids that parents weren't watching. I want to cry every time I see our wedding video, I wish I could do it all over again. Now I'm a mother of 3 and I never take my children to weddings unless they are a part of the wedding party. Which I always have a babysitter ready to take them after dinner.

Answer 40

That's what you get for being a Westerner.



Kids in the West are brats. They're brought up that way, if not by their parents, then by their friends.



We are fostering a culture of stupidity. Americans can't be bothered to oust the most unpopular, murderous president ever. Canadians club thousands of seals to death each year. Australians can't talk without swearing. Brits just want to be American.



It's all going to hell.



I say use this occasion as a wake up call, and completely change your lifestyle once you get married. Either leave for a more polite culture, or dig deep at home to find the few meek people there are still around.



Those kids have no respect, but there's nobody around them to show them otherwise.

Answer 41

I understand you want a nice wedding. And I know kids can be wild at such events.



If you decided you did not want kids at the wedding, I wouldn't be offended. The last wedding my wife and I attended, we hired a babysitter.



But, for you to tell me how to parent would cause you to get your feelings hurt in a very dramatic fashion.



I would much rather you tell me they aren't invited (which I can understand) than for you to suggest you know more about how to parent my children than I do. Such statements would lead me to explain to you any short comings you have. And believe me, I can be pretty descriptive.



If the invitation is made out to just me and my wife. Maybe I'll come. Maybe I won't. Either way, my wife will insist we buy a nice gift which I'm more than happy to give on this joyous day.



Warnings to control my children on the invitation will result in me not attending, you not receiving a gift and some very strained family relations at the next event we see each other.



What you're suggesting is very rude and insulting. You are not only assuming that my children will misbehave before they are given an opportunity to prove themselves, you are also assuming that I am lacking in my parenting skills that I would tolerate my children getting out of hand.



I don't let my kids run wild. But, I do not take kindly to warnings about keeping them under control.

Answer 42

The parents are responsible for their kids. Your plans are to have a memorable wedding. Discipline runs into personal feelings and stepping on other person's toes. I would use your microphone to keep the pressure on them to keep their kids in line. A gentle reminder repeated is about as best as you can do. If you won't ask for adults only at the reception you have to live with the outcome. Parents seem to think their children can do no wrong. Maybe if they get a little embarrassed at the wedding if their child might get pointed out by someone saying. "Please keep the children off the floor" for the slow dances of bride and father and groom and mother in law or whatever. It might look cute, but pictures are the memory. Make sure your photographer is forewarned about your wild family children. Not much else you can do.

Answer 43

First of all, congratulations! You're getting married! Imagine me screaming and jumping up and down with you. lol



I think it's great that you want to include the little ones in your special day and that you are willing to problem-solve so that things go smoothly. I'd first suggest going over the seating arrangements and try and make it "stroller-friendly". Do a head-count of parents coming with small children and make sure that space is left available for the stroller. That way there's no reason to unbuckle the child and limits the running around during the vows, first dance, toasts, etc.



Secondly, if it's in your budget, offer small(but quiet)toys to the children as a small "prize" of sorts. It will keep them occupied during the ceremony and often well on through the dancing and toasts. Having a children's table with coloring books, crayons, stickers and puzzles is a great way to keep those little hands busy, too. Try your local Dollar Store or 99 cent store. They usually have some pretty good stuff for kids.



If there are older kids that also have trouble sitting still, request that the parents bring something from home to entertain them for at least an hour or two. A gameboy(with the volume turned down), or a portable DVD player with headphones.



Again, congratulations on your upcoming nupitals! I hope this helps.

Answer 44

Hello,, good to address this before the big day goes bad , I suggest that you may have a few teenage girls who would be able to keep them occupied for predetermined amount of time, sort of on premise babysitters, if you have a few extras available you may be able to provide shifts so you have a backup person there too. ,,OR, determine before hand how many people have these toddlers that would not show up and have a two staged reception, the first for friends with those children who would otherwise not attend, and a second for the adults only session without any second thought to children, (except) after you get home!!provide a time frame for these things to happen and try to stick to it! some people will "buck" the idea but it's your party. I 've been to these crazy wedding receptions you are talking about so this is my suggestion. Turn up the jams after the kids leave and the parents of little ones will leave for sure. Most people just want to feed their family and leave anyway so try to keep it simple and don't forget someday you will have the same situation to live through.

Answer 45

There are so many answers to this question I had to stop reading. I have to admit this is a difficult thing, especially if you aren't going to nix the kids from the reception. My friend had a wedding and I kind of self dedicated myself and fiancee to this. It would be a lot easier and more fun especially for the person is delegated (self or not) if you simply hire someone. Get a neighborhood babysitter and set up a few tables with coloring books, those disappearing markers and paints, playdough, depending on the ages a few games. Also you might need more than one teenager to do it. Even if it costs you a few hundred extra bucks it's totally worth it. How much could it be? At the most $50 per teenager to play with them and $5 per kid per activity. My fiancee has a really good relationship with children and basically no relationship with my best friend from college or her family (whom I have a very strong relationship with) it wasn't bad for him. He was actually greatful for something to do. But you don't want to put anyone in this situation. We have a 6 year old and are planning on having 2 teenagers and renting a hotel room for the kids just in case they get tired and need a break. It's better to spend the extra money so all the adults can have fun and still be close to the kids.

Answer 46

Hi there!



Since you want the kids to come, here is what you can do to make sure they are under control:



1. Hire two-three babysitters/nannies (depending on how many kids there will be) and find a room for them in the place you will have your wedding. There should be crayons, some toys, paper, etc. in that room. The kids can attend the beggining of the ceremony, when you walk down the isle, etc. etc, but after that, tell the parents sweetly that you set up a room for them to play in so they wont get bored and restless with the audults. Then the kids will go and play over there during the most important parts of your wedding.



Good Luck!

Answer 47

I don't think you can put something like that in an invitation. And I tried working on the wording in my head and I can't come up with a polite way to say it to their face either. Kids sometimes just can't be easily controlled especially when they've been pent up sitting through a service, then through a nice, fancy meal....they have energy they need to run off. It's just normal. I understand entirely that you don't want your wedding to be a "free-for-all" with kids running everywhere. It might cause hard feelings though to ask people to leave because of their kids. That would be worse than asking them to not bring their kids in the first place.



I don't know what your expenses look like for the wedding, but what you might try is hiring a couple of people as "babysitters" who can keep the kids occupied during the dancing, etc. This would be their sole job -- keeping the kids occupied. Make sure you have an adequate ratio of "sitters" to the number of kids in attendance.

Answer 48

When planning your wedding think of yourself as a hostess, make sure your guests are comfortable. If its a formal event (with a sit down dinner) make sure that there are some little snacks either in the center of the tables, or buffet style appetizers. Incorporate kid-friendly snacks so the little ones don't get grouchy or picky.



If you can, set aside a room and make it into a nursery/play area. If this is not available, make a kiddie table. Coordinate with your bridesmaids to take shifts watching the kiddos.



In the center table make a program of the reception events (cake cutting, bouquet tossing etc...) and include a statement that says that child care is provided, and maybe something to the effect of "please ensure that your children do not detract from today's focus on the bride & groom".



At my wedding we had a kiddie table with crayons and coloring books and bought the kids happy meals. I never once saw them leave that corner.



Remember a wedding is a hard thing for a little kid to sit through and unless you give them a distraction they'll get rambunctious.

Answer 49

What about hiring a couple of people to watch the kids and making a corner of the reception hall into a "kid zone"? A lot of people make the mistake of bringing kids to events like this and not bringing toys or games, so of course the kids get bored and into everything. You can give parents the choice of being seated in this area or leaving the kids with the sitters and being seated nearby at an "all adults" table. I'd ask parents to take the kids over to look at the cake (and the other things that will fascinate the kids) at some point during the reception but that otherwise the kids should be this area where they'll be happier and safe from being stepped on, etc. You'd definitely want to sell it as easier for the parents and safe for the kids, not as a way to save yourself aggravation.

Answer 50

A polite option would be an "Adults only" reception. If the parents care enough for you and your fianceé, they'll hire a babysitter and enjoy this special night with you guys. If they don't, their miss, too bad they can't spend some time as a couple or by themselves.



Another more complicated would be, if your reception is in a hotel, rent a room and decorate it with your wedding theme... get them some coloring books, crayons, and games, move the beds on one side of the room if possible and place a nicely decorated table provided with sandwiches, pizza, hot dogs, popcorn and some candy, and soft drinks. Place a dvd with kid movies (you don't want them to reach the xxx channels), hire a baby sitter, and you and the parents will enjoy the wedding reception peacefully and knowing the kids are also enjoying it away from all that "boring adult stuff". It is not expensive at all and it's a nice kid-friendly-wedding alternative.



If you like kids, you and the groom can pass by and ask the kids if they're having fun, and bring them some wedding cake, they'll appreciate being treated as special guests ^-^

Answer 51

Having attended a couple of weddings ourselves as parents of a toddler, based on my and my wife's experience, here are some of your options.

1. When sending out invitations, attach a small piece of note that diplomatically asks the parents to be considerate during the ceremony. (e.g. Take crying kids out of the room, etc.)

2. On the wedding day, ask your ushers to sit parents with kids in the back of the room so that they can exit easily in case the kids get too loud or out of control. (Mention on the invitation that this will happen.)

3. At one wedding, we were provided a baby sitter that the bride and groom had prepared for out-of-town-guests & parents like us in advance. We covered the sitter's fee. But in the end, it was worth it for all of us.

4. Space provided, prepare a separate toddler/infant care room just for the ceremony. At least two qualifying adults should supervise the kids.

Good luck and congrats!

Answer 52

Someday when you have your own children- you will realize that you cannot just "control your children".. honestly if they are at a wedding and they are "running around" on the dancefloor-- if the kids are 6 years old- that's a no- no and the parents should stop them-- however when children are 2 or even 3 (toddlers) that's what they do-- you cannot expect them to just sit in the chair at the table the whole night or to be 'dancing'... to them their running around on the dance floor is how they are having fun!!!!!! Sometimes you just have to step back and stop being so selfish (usually that happenes once you have children) and realize the blessing they are. 20 years from now you'll back on your wedding and laugh when you tell the story of all of your neices and nephews there running around... You could be snooty and tell them "no children" and then some of them wouldn't make it- so you have to decide is it more important that your wedding is about FAMILY and FRIENDS and their company- or is it more important to you that you make a good "appearance" in front of everyone and that some of your FAMILY won't be present???????

Answer 53

Maybe you can make babysitters available to be on site that way someone can ocupy the kids. If you're getting married in a hotel maybe they can let you use a small conference room for the kidos.

Another option:

You can set up a kids table filled with coloring books and most importantly hand held video games. That should keep them busy.



However if you are so worried about kids, don't invite them. I know you said you "want" them there, but why would they act any differently at your wedding (parents or kids). If people really want to spend the day with you, they will get a sitter for a few hours. If they can't part from their kid, then they won't come, but at least your special day won't be ruined by some crazy kids. We didn't allow kids at our wedding reception. My husband's brother has 5 kids under age 8. They came to the church to see us married, but went home with their grandma (mom;s mom). At first it was hard, but it was worth it. We didn't have kids hanging off of us all night.



Good luck and enjoy your special day!

Answer 54

I think this is kind of ridiculous. Kids are a big part of weddings. I come from a large family and the kids are always dancing on the floor and being kids. I feel that maybe you should try to be more open to letting kids be kids, and perhaps include them in an activity at the reception. A family favorite of ours is "the limbo."

Answer 55

Oh I feel for you. At my wedding, my flower girl threw the basket from the front of the church half way down the aisle, then ran across the back of train, leaving black marks. Her Mom walked right up to her, jerked her up and proceeded to whip her going back down the aisle! Lord it was like a three ring circus for a minute. Kids will be kids and asking a parent to make the mind usually leads them to feel like an insult. I think if you could, say a child area will be provided during the ceremony and reception for children 5 and under. Then ask two responsible younger girls, like ages 15-18, if they would hold a little daycare. Maybe even offer to pay them, or buy them dinner and a movie. Then during the reception older kids could even go into the separate area to play. The parents are secretly wishing for a quiet enjoyable evening without having the embarrassment of some strange kid, that couldn't possibly be theirs :D running around. That is my suggestion if you are really worried about it. Good Luck and Congratulations!

Answer 56

Oh...many times have I wanted to slap a parent who cant control their own child. But short of doing that, the only thing that I can think of is for you to arrange an area where the children will be under supervision, away from the actual wedding. Perhaps the church has a room setup for a daycare of sorts.



That really sounds like your best bet. That way nobody gets offended and the kids are out of the way.

Answer 57

I would say adults only. Weddings really are an occation that toddlers really don't need to attend. They don't know what's going on anyways. Parents want to losen up a little bit and end up not paying attention to their kids. It always ends up that the kids latch on to a older cousin or friend of the family or something and the parents get a break and this other person has a lowsey time because they end up babysitting for the kids. Tell your guests, get a sitter.

Answer 58

no right answer.

You want the kids and their parents there. But you dont want them there at the same time.

Maybe you can arrange someone to entertain the kids during important times.

Or

have the Dj say "Parents please grab your kids for the bridal dance" Give him a list of times when the kids have to be controlled. Explain to him that you wan him to say it in a serious tone, and to get everyones attention first. Make sure he understands the situation, you want him to be the bad guy

or

have a family member leak your feeling out. Have cousin betty ask cousin beth what shes gonna do during the bridal dance to keep the kids off the floor?

When Beth asks why, have her say "Well when cousin Steve got married, Susans kids were running all over the floor."

Also proper ettiqutte? That does not include letting your kids run all over the place

Just tell them that you want kids there, but for certain moments you want the floor clear.

Answer 59

Maybe it is time that someone in your family sent a message to the parents of these toddlers in your family. You might be doing future brides/grooms in your family a favor by nipping this problem in the bud now. This is your day and you have the right to have it exactly as you want it, even it that means offending them. Some people will not change until the issue is brought to light. I would make general statement, something like: " We are requesting that parental supervision and control be exercised at all times." Then if they still don't get it, tell them " Control your kids or leave!"

Answer 60

Well i'm all for telling them the reception is adults only. But if you don't feel like doing that, consider hiring a sitter(or two) for the night, someone whose sole job is to keep the the kids busy and out of your way. They should organize childrens activities away from the main festivities allowing you and the rugrats parentals to have a good time. Have them 'check in' with the sitter and read an agreement that if their children get out of control they may be asked to leave. But leave that with the sitter.. Dont send it with the invites or anything. Don't tacky up your day just because your concerned about kids. If you don't want to pick up the tab for the sitter suggest in your invites that sitter will be available for their children at a cost of $ amount during the ceremony/reception.



And by the way : Congrats!

Answer 61

Either blame the fact that you cant afford to have children there because it is to expensive to have food provided for them and they arent even gonna eat it so it is a waste of money. And that the reception is also an adults only( black tie affair maybe) and you are concerned because there will be free drinks and you would prefer it that minors are not there because you are responsible for them while they are at your party.... Or I would hire two younger girls to watch the children. They can bring coloring books and crayons and you can have a special table (way in the back) lol.. reserved for the kids only and the two caretakers.or in a fire house or a reception hall they may have a second smaller room where the bridal party may hang out. I would say use that room after the bridal party is done with it and have the children stay up there and again have the babysitters and activities and movie for them to watch.

Answer 62

weddings are so hard for kids partly because of all the grownups engaging in grownup talk, the small space they're supposed to be in, the complete lack of anything for kids to do, and the hour (food usually starts way after they're accustomed to and the event usually ends late and often running past their bedtime). yes, parents should definitely control their kids, but that's not always easy to do with toddlers and preschoolers without leaving early and/or concentrating 100% of their attention on the kids (and wouldn't you rather they be concentrating on you?) I'd say if you don't like kids running around on the dance floor, you're really better off not inviting kids to the wedding. if you really want to invite them and you actually want your guests (child and adult) to have a good time, take the advice about hiring a babysitter and having a room where kids can do what kids do ... that is run around, make noise, and occasionally melt down).

Answer 63

Hi Melissa

It’s no use telling everyone to leave their kids at home, since they’ve been taking them to all and every wedding until now.



You can try to be subtle and put a little note in with the invitations with suggestions for the parents to bring toys and pillows and to dress the kids in comfortable clothing so they can feel at ease. Nothing more annoying than new shoes that are not broken in or the not very kid friendly outfits people tend to have their kids wear at special events. It has a tendency to make them behave even worse.



You can also ask for help and advice from different members of your family about what to do to keep the kids comfortable at your wedding, someone is bound to come up with a solution especially since it concerns their kids. They will be grateful to you for being so thoughtful and maybe they will get the point.



Adults, parents especially should ask themselves why they want a child to suffer through a ceremony and a reception they do not understand and where there is nothing for them to do. Parents should know that young children have a short attention span, don’t like to have their schedule changed and would be a lot happier at home in their usual environment. Weddings are lengthy affairs and children are bored easily when they don’t feel included, you can’t just ask them to sit and be quiet.



Kids run around and annoy people when they have nothing to do to keep them busy otherwise. Plan for special activities, little dances that are just for kids, musical chairs, Simon says… And at the end of each of these little events, hand out surprises.



You can also have special little surprise packages ready and before a special event like the wedding dance, the cake or whatever, have the kids seated in a secluded part of the room (far from the event as possible) and hand out the surprises (dollar stores are very helpful). It will keep most of them busy while the special event takes place. New toys always keep little kids busy especially if there is a lot of discovering to do so wrap them up well. Make sure you get the same for everyone so there will be no fights and no candy or sweets, it will only make them more hyper!



A friend of mine had a coloring contest held at her wedding with the type of coloring book that works with a water filled marker (the color is embedded in the sheets so no one gets stains or marks on their expensive clothes). After the dance was over, one of the bridesmaids judged the contest and gave a little surprise to everyone. Of course this only works with kids that are old enough. Since you talk about kids running around, I assume they will be old enough.



Someone wrote about fencing in the dance floor, instead, why not fence in a little area with toys and pillows and have the mothers (or grand mothers) take turns in keeping an eye on the youngsters. It would work for very young children especially for toddlers since they would not like to be kept in somebody’s arms and would keep them from being underfoot and risking injury. I think you can rent that sort of fencing.



Dear Melissa, I wish you a very special wedding, and a very happy reception. If you plan ahead of time, your dream will come true.

Happy Wedding!

Marie J

Answer 64

what about setting up a nursery at the wedding venue? You could pay a teen or two to run it. That way if the kids are acting up, you can suggest that the parents take them to the nursery where they can play like they want. Chances are the kids are not so much out of control as they're just plain bored and tired. That way the adults can still have fun while the kids are still nearby and there's good supervision for the kids, too.

Answer 65

I am not sure there is a nice way to say it. I agree with the others even though you may have a few not come, just put on the invitation adults only for the reception or wedding. That way the adults may get to have fun without their children. Or have someone from the family, say a few teens, take the children to another out of the way room for games or different food. I know teens would be willing to do that for cash. I have seen several invitations recently where adults only for the reception is added. It is not rude, most of the time there is drinking there anyway.

Answer 66

My brother's son got married in April, and they had the wedding at a place that supposedly didn't allow children. My son and his family (including my 4 grandchildren) did not go. A couple of other people brought their kids anyway. Now, my nephew resents my son for not showing up. (I don't know about the people who brought their kids, but they didn't run them off from the wedding)



In my humble opinion, the couple getting married should have taken into consideration their guest list before deciding to go to a place that didn't allow children. The whole ordeal just started up a bunch of unnecessary negative feelings. But, that's only an example of end results...



A wedding, although it is the bride's special day, is still ultimately a family thing. You can't really make all your plans around the bride and just expect the entire family to all fall in line. If you have a family that has a lot of children, you should plan the reception in a manner that takes that into consideration. Younger guests are really pretty easy to please with a minimal effort, usually easier than adults! If you are working with a planner, discuss it with them, surely you could come up with a simple activity plan that will help keep the children from being unruly. If you are not working with a planner (and you are not used to dealing with children yourself), maybe you should consider consulting with someone that can help plan some simple activities for the children.



The main thing that I personally would keep in mind is that you want your entire family to share in your happiness, without any unnecessary resentments. Barring the kids will NOT accomplish this.

Answer 67

We are dealing with this right now. We were expecting NO kids at my daughters wedding (and were quite relieved I might add!) and now we have found out that 3 of our guests just assumed that kids were allowed! We never stipulated NO kids but really..... I have attended many weddings while my own kids were growing up, I never took my kids. As a mom, I looked at it like this. 1. weddings are sometimes boring for me, how could my kids enjoy themselves! 2. People tend to drink at weddings, is this the proper place for kids? Would you take kids to a bar? Of course not. Dont most receptions have bars? and 3. Receptions tend to get well, dirty. Take the garter removel and throw. Is this something I wanted my kids exposed too? We have just decided that we would rather have these people come, so we will keep our mouths shut. I have designated a family member to step in if the kids get out of control. I do worry about the ceremony though, I DONT want crying babies! I'm hoping that the guests will remove children that are crying. I wish people would realize that weddings are for adults! But like that will ever happen!

Answer 68

Your probably spending a bunch of money on the wedding???

Hire a Babysitter for them, in a separate room if at all possible, at the place your having the wedding.....

Sorry folks, not to classify or label....But.....

Unless it is a Huge Italian or Spanish or Greek etc. wedding, where children are Always at large functions and get togethers, and know how to behave because it's been taught to them early on, you will like you said have obnoxious kids running around, while their parents are trying to have a good time, at your expense!!

Two things, sorry you won't be able to attend, but we are setting an age limit, or children aren't invited to this adult only wedding....

First of all, if it is Catered, that is what, $ per person, and your gonna be charged for a Toddler???

I wouldn't do it If I had money to burn....

I would want to ENJOY MY DAY!

Your just worried about feelings being hurt, and that is admirable, but what about YOURS? They "get their feelings hurt" and you should be made to feel guilty cause their brat can't come? Seems to me they should be considerate about YOUR feelings, this after all is YOUR wedding, not theirs....

If it is an outdoors wedding in a field, they can run wild.

But if it isn't, and your wanting a NICE, classy, romantic, enjoyable, one of a kind day, honey the etiquette is it is YOUR WEDDING, and you can do as you see fit....

I have kids, not anti other peoples kids. But you should be stressed out at your special occasion wondering what someones little heathen is up to???

Some people do have obnoxious little brats, to them are angels, and you can't say a thing to them.

So I would nip it in the butt from the beginning!!!!

Answer 69

Simple Solution: After the ceremony, the children can join their parents at the reception until just before the meal starts. That should give them a flavor of what a reception is all about... let them dance a little.. and show off their fancy clothes. Then, right when the boredom begins to set in... ship them off to a nearby place with a nanny you've hired to watch them.... and tell the parents you're doing it so they can enjoy themselves at the dinner. Provide hot dogs and mac cheese... or whatever.. for the kids and the Nanny... and just let the parents know these are the arrangements you've made. Make sure you use a reputable Nanny... or a friend of a friend of the family... or even one of the Nanny's one of your family members uses.. to put the parents' minds at ease.



This will let everyone know that you want to have the kids there, but you also want to provide for them to be cared for while the adults have "adult" time. And, it allows the kids to be there and participate, but also to make their exit (to watch kid movies, play video games, eat junk food... maybe even a special wedding cake, too... which will be SO much more fun for them! ... and then go to bed at a decent hour!)



This is YOUR wedding. This is a reasonable and respectfully phrased solution to the issue of the kids... And it provides adult time for the adults, and fun activities for the kids. If the family members don't like it, they can lump it. It's completely reasonable. This is what my nieces did and it's a GREAT way to go.

Answer 70

I had a similar situation. We put right on the invitations that children were welcome until 8PM. That gave families with kids time to come share our joy and then make arrangements for the kids at "adult" time. Our reception began at 6:30...so an hour and a half doesn't hurt at all. They get dinner, see the cake being cut and are out of there in time for all the other stuff. It worked out quite well. We've been married for 12 years now and I never heard any complaints about our request. Almost everyone invited was there at some point or another. With about 500 guests, you would think someone along the way would have grumbled if they didn't agree with us.



Congrats on your upcoming nuptuals!!

Answer 71

I would say to plan an area and events for the kids which is away from the traditional elements of the reception that you do not want to go awry. Perhaps, some people would volunteer to chaperone at various times to "watch over" the kids.



You may want to consider hiring people to watch and entertain the kids so that family can be there for everything. I even picked up a business card for a balloon artist the other week for my nephew. Kids are mesmerized by that stuff.



If the facility allows it perhaps you can have an area just for the kids that could have tvs, videos, etc.

Answer 72

Hi. I understand you have quite a dilemma on your hands. I am wondering, have you and your husband already finalized all of your plans? Where are you going to have the reception? My cousin and her new husband had to consider all of this when they were getting married too. They ended up deciding to have the reception at the church in the fireside room. This allowed for all of the guests to eat together and share in the laughter and joys together, but then after we ate, the kids were sent to the church nursery where the oldest child, who was 17 looked after the younger ones and they watched a movie on a portable DVD player. This kept the youngster occupied for the next two hours as the couple opened gifts and we all helped with the clean up. Then the wedding dance was at the local VFW and the kids had a special table set up. This table had balloons, colors and coloring books, and a special where's the bride and groom... kind of like where's Waldo type photo. They were kept occupied by that for a good hour and then the D.J. showed up and the first hour he played toddler friendly songs so they could all go dance with their parents and act all silly and then tire out before the real dance started. This was a bit cheaper wedding reception and dance, but everything went very smoothly and it was a ton of fun for all attending!

Answer 73

I think you should learn how to deal with it because you may have kids around you some day in the future and you will need to deal with them everyday of your life not just one day out of the year or so. You were a kid also and yes you acted just like they do now. The sooner you learn to enjoy their growing up and learning the better you and they will be. Not allowing them to your wedding is just saying to other family members that you don't enjoy them enough to allow their kids to attend. Are you family member or friends? It doesn't matter this occasion is a special thing about you joining your life to share with someone special. That should be the only thing on your mind on that day. Make it special for your spouse think about your day and your future and don't worry about the small stuff. Just enjoy your wedding even if some things go wrong. Life is like that all the time. So learn to deal with life like that. No matter what you think things just don't go the way you picture no matter how much you try something else pops up and you need to deal with it. So Have a Merry Merry wedding and a brilliant future.

Answer 74

It all comes down to this, the meaning of a wedding- sharing with those you LOVE how you are willing to do anything for your soon to husband.(thats part of my meaning anyways) You can be creative and come up with a way to handle the kids--the kids who you say you LOVE cant be taught by you or the wedding party how they should act and present themselves at a wedding? silly The parents are to stupid to do this so take it in your own hands because you DO want them there. They are your FAMILY and you LOVE them after all. right? And you want them all to share your special pledge to this person that means so much to you.

Here's a thought, before you start the wedding party dances have your wedding party bring all the kids together-- in a group--to give them a job-- A special job. have them throw peddles at the wedding party while you all dance brake in between songs and have a children dance.(if you want) This way they are involved and too busy to do what you think will mess up your whole day.. (practice this with the children before your wedding so they know just what they need to do) Life is to short don't let such small details that don't have any meaning to yours and your soon to be husbands day. Good Luck



One more thing, if you were to put your family members in such a shameful situation that speaks volumes about the person you are. Don't invite them if you would be willing to ask them to leave and do place it on your invitation. Or take matters in your own hands in a creative way, there is nothing wrong with that and it shows your family that you wanted to go the extra mile because your a loving and caring person and feel strong about ALL your family being there



Think, these kids are your family and you want them to be part of this special occasion, don't you?



Good luck to you, hope you figure it out. Hey, stop worrying about whats proper and whats not... Do whats in your heart about the way you feel is proper to fix this problem of yours.



It is your husbands and your day and nothing is going to ruin it if your hearts are in the right place at the time.



Again, congrats and good luck to you!

Answer 75

Weddings are adult occasions and toddlers should be taken care of.



I suggest you hire a playschool and the staff so that the toddlers and children can be taken there while the wedding is in progress.



At weddings there is generally a lot of alcohol and also a lot of electrical power supplies for the band and the PA system. This situation is a minefield for children of all ages.



Sorry, no kids! Its not safe and its not right. They will be neglected by the adults who will be more interested in the proceedings than the kids. Keep them safe and in a child friendly environment with people trained to look after them.

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Answer 76

Remember ONE thing -- this is YOUR wedding. It is the MOST important day of your life. NOBODY is allowed to ruin that. Now, your invitation should state something like: No child care facility available Reception for Adults only. I don't think that's rude or inconsiderate. Granted, you may not get as many attendees as possible but oh well, life isn't fair, is it? Parents these days are VERY inconsiderate. It's the "child raising a child" syndrome. A little research with the etiquette experts listed below may bring more appropriate advice. The older generations had Mama and Papa to guide them through INTERNSHIP before marriage. Not so today resulting in much etiquette being lost these days. God Bless you and thank God for reassuring us ole fogies that couple still GET MARRIED vs perpetual shacking up. Luv ya.

Answer 77

I sent out on my invitations "We would love to accomodate your children but are unable to accomodate them at this time. We welcome any children over the age of 16."



I simply was firm about the fact I didn't want children there because I was not providing an atmosphere for kids, it was for me and my parents. I also don't believe I should be paying for someone else's babysitter or buying gifts for their kids. This was MY day. If they want to save money by skipping a gift and paying a sitter instead, that's fine, it's the presence of their company I really wanted anyways.



Not a single member of the family was insluted when I explained there were just too many kids and I didn't want to have to eliminate close friends or family to make space for someone who wouldn't really understand or appreciate the meaning of the celebration anyway and would rather be at home or the playground.



If they are a problem - it is the job of the best man and maid of honor to keep things going smoothly and they should step up to the parents and politely ask them if little Jimmy could please not run around screaming, he might knock over someone and is also causing a problem with the videographers abillity to move smoothly and record the comments being made because all he's getting on mic is screaming.



The idea of having the DJ occasionally call for a round up is BRILLIANT!!!!

Answer 78

An adults only reception could be created if a few people get a place for the kids to go. Someone could offer their house for a big sleep over with movies and pizza, or a nanny crew situation in another room of the place where the reception is going to be.

Hopefully grown ups don't need to be told to keep their kids still in the church, but if they do, just say as politely as can, this is my day, and I hope I won't be upstaged by any unnecessary drama. God knows people think their kids are good as gold when someone else points out they're hellions, but you might as well take the chance. If they are not interested in the massive preparations you made for your day, then they might not really be interested in other parts of your well being.

Good luck.

Answer 79

I agree that with a lot of the postings. However, I understand if you really want kids so there are a few ways to handle this. If you are having a DJ, have them to make an announcement at the special dances to please keep children off the dance floor and from running around so they don't get hurt and interfer with the pictures. The hell with etiquette, enclose a polite note in your invitation stating that you are looking forward to seeing the kids in the family but please keep them from running around as you don't want to ruin your special day by having someone sit in the ER with a child who needs stitches. Come upwith some sort of lighthearted but serious statement. You want everyone to have a good time and if a child becomes out of control they may be asked to leave. One last thing that I did. We asked people to travel over a holoiday weekend for our wedding and we didn't want kids at our reception for the exact same reason but we knew most wouldn't come because they couldn't get overnight babysitters. We had our reception at a hotel and we just got a small room and I hired a babysitter to watch them. Hooked up a DVD player to hotel TV, provided food, snacks and some crafts and junk for them. A few of the older kids did come into the buffet but it was so obvious they were the only kids there they went back. We had a few no-shows so their dinner didn't cost extra but this way the kids were close but not underfoot. It cost a little extra but boy it took pressure off. good Luck.

Answer 80

I am thinking about having a seperate room and hiring 2 babysitters, a movie and some toys and a craft or two if they choose to "let loose" - however, i haven't chosen nor mentioned it to a venue yet - but this can be a possibility - say somehting along the lines "if your child wishes to play and jump around they have this that and the other in this room" and the best thing to do is tell it to your MOH and parents to spread the word in a way like "wow, she's accomodating the kids" kind of a thing

Answer 81

I would politely state that "dancing for ALL" will be after the wedding dance/bridal dance, etc. Also, you can have an area, outside of the reception area (maybe another room) that you can designate for those with kids- maybe simply let parents know, " if the kids need a break, as we all do, you can take the little ones outside to such and such area." Maybe have some toys/puzzles for them there. I wouldn't tell the parents that they need to control their kids or they will be asked to leave because that's exactly what they'll do. Leave. and they may take their wedding gift with them! good luck!

Answer 82

I don't know if anyone suggested to have one of your teenage family members or several depending on the amount of children there...hire them to provide sitting services. Even if the parents have to pay out of their pockets, or you can cover most of the cost and parents provide the rest. If money is no problem...have it fully covered where the teens will earn a couple hundred a piece for the reception. How long will the reception last? after dinner is served and the kids eat have a drop off time the reception will last a few hours or put a set time limit of services of 2 - 3 hours, have a sign in and out sheet. Just a starting point, this day is supposed to be about you....and family will be the ones who violate the sanctity of that day. Good luck on YOUR Wedding Day and all the festivities.

Answer 83

How about adding 'adults only, please' to your invitations? Most people don't seem to realize when they receive an invitation addressed to 'Mr. and Mrs.' it doesn't include their children. If it did, the words 'and family' would appear after their names. It's perfectly reasonable to request adults and older children only, and many people do so.



You can also plan the wedding reception in a place with a large activity room and that room can be designated for children. Enlist the help of relatives or friends who are willing to babysit the children who will remain in the room during the reception.



Here's another thought - plan a wedding in Hawaii or somewhere exotic and use the money that would have been spent on a big wedding on the honeymoon instead.



Whatever your choice, congratulations and I hope your wedding and reception are part of a heavenly day for you.

Answer 84

would there be a few people who would be able to volunteer to watch the children in a designated play-area? It would be a good idea to have one set up at the church so that just in case a child started getting unruly during the ceremony the parent could take them to the designated area outside the sanctuary.



during the reception, there might also be an area set up so the kids could play with each other. kids tend to get extra-excited at events like this, where there is a lot going on and theyre generally out later than they are used to. it isnt fair to the other people at the reception, but parents are usually distracted and talking to other guests, and their kids tend to get excited and run around without a lot of supervision, especially if there are other children present.



another good idea is to state on the invitation that kids are not allowed after a certain time; around 9:00 or 10:00 is reasonable. that allows for the other guests to relax without a lot of children around, and the reception can be more adult-oriented, especially if there will be alcohol served.



I do think its a bit crass to state in the invitation that "guests will be asked to leave" if their children are out of control. Who is to determine what is acceptable behavior for the children? Parents might feel offended if someone told them that their child was acting up and told them to leave. Simply stating that there will be a designated childs area, and that children are not allowed after said time, ought to be enough to convey that you do not want the kids to overrun your wedding reception.

Answer 85

Whenever I have an event (granted not as big as a wedding) I give the kids a goody bag with coloring books, crayons, a small toy, a small box or Cheerios, etc. as soon as they come to the reception area and tell the parents with a big friendly smile, here is something for "Johnny" so he does not get bored and get into trouble. This way you can relax instead of chasing him all over." I have yet to get an odd look from a parent. All parents love it when you do something nice for the child. I do try to customize the goody bag according to the child's age.

Answer 86

I hate to tell you this, but unless you make the reception "adults only", you probably can't. If these parents are too clueless to recognize that their kids are out of control, nothing you say is likely to change that.



One possible solution, but not always easy to implement - when my daughter got married, we had babysitting arranged for kids under I think 10, I forget exactly where we cut it off. That worked for us because there was a daycare center in the same building as the reception, so we were able to hire the facility and some of the staff for the evening. The caterer even served "kids meals" at the center.

Answer 87

Put someone else in charge of that, and then be prepared to not have everything go according to plan.



If the kids were out of control at other weddings, it's a good bet that they will be out of control at yours --- people aren't going to change just because you want them to. If you want your family to attend your wedding, then don't put conditions on it --- they will be offended. You don't want to offend people who will be bringing you gifts. Weddings are controlled chaos anyway, and something always goes wrong. Accept that fact, relax, and enjoy whatever your day brings. Celebrate with your family --- even the kids. Another thing you could do is plan an activity for the kids, or have something for them to do. Rent one of those inflatable things that they can bounce around in, and place it away from the grown up activities.

Answer 88

Have you picked a site for your reception yet? If not, consider looking at more casual sites, since it sounds like there are a lot of children to consider. For example, I know a nice communinty center in our area also has a nice playground. Send the kiddies out there to work off the extra steam. Or, consider a pool or lake party. One of the best receptions I ever went to was at a lake. It was very casual -- swimsuits, T-shirts and shorts -- and it was great! The kids could run around and have fun without getting underfoot.



If you have picked a site already, talk with the management to see what suggestions they have. I'm sure they've dealt with this problem before. Depending on their age, maybe have the kids engaged in some activity, such as help in decorating, or helping serve pieces of cake to the other guests, will keep them occupied and give them some ownership and responsibility.

Answer 89

If you don't want the kids completely there, I think you should include some nice words in your invitation saying that the best thing for the kids is home during times of wedding.... But since you don't mind them being their, because most of your family have kids, what you want to do is to rent a room within the building of ceremony, and hire some one to watch the kids and keep them busy their during all times. That way, you will enjoy wedding without kids, and their parents won't worry because they know that their kids are safe and close by. Congratulation and happy wedding. "Good luck"

Answer 90

Vanilla E and Jen C are on the right track. Hire a sitter group/maybe relatives teenagers ifthey

re available n your income is limited. This will keep the little ones busy and you won't need to discipline or yell at parents about kids, The added bonus? All the adults, plus you and new spouse will all enjoy the gathering much more. (I think the parents will be grateful and you'll get a lot of thank yous, too.) You'll be a big hit and others will take note at their events in the future.

Answer 91

how about a comb of everyone's advice, kids of a certain age hav a room with each parent taking turns checking in, or u could hire someone 4 the job, or break it down NO kids under -----, its ur day do u think any of these folks r thinking of this, it is the farest thing from their mind and i don't think a little note or reminder of past gatherings would hurt, or u could just suck it all up and keep the camcorder rolling who knows u might get really good footage and end up on america's funniest videos and win some moolah!! I bet then u would b glad they all came.LOL, everyone could give a donation towards a sitter or clown at wedding if they can buy drinks the can tip a entertainer of some sort. good luck and my god bless u on ur special day

Answer 92

you know i dont believe you really have anything to really worry about if you really want the kids there and you do then relax let the party roll sure this is your day but golly kids enjoy themselves too so relax go on with the plans and enjoy your day everything will work out i dont think there gonna crash the wedding and reception i have not seen that yet>>>>>>>after reading all these if anyone told me not to bring my kids i would be so insulted and i would not purchase a gift nor attend~i think you are being unrealistic some day you too will have children~if you come from a good family and have nice friends for heavens sakes they will make there children behave>>>i sure hope they dont see u on answers your attendance will drop down to next to nothing~~having kids is a part of life and if the parents think the toddlers need to be at home i am sure they will arrange for it~and if i showed up to a reception and needed to put my child in her planned daycare omg i would be fuming!!!sweety soon you will be looking on the other side of the fence you will someday be a mom of a toddler now what do you think it shall then be a entire different prospective to you i am sure ~~i love children i have owned operated 3 in home cares for 5 yrs and i am the mom of 3 grandmother of 1 so lighten up golly~~~congrats enjoy your day DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFFFFFFFF

Answer 93

I'm shocked...it never occurred to me to worry about unruly children at my wedding. As I feel that hopefully children are a part of marriage and family. But here people are blaming the children....its not the children! Its the parents! Parents who discipline their children don't have kids who ruin receptions, because they would promptly remove their child from the room should a child become unruly. An invite to a children's party is a fine idea..but what about the little girls who are always infatuated with the bride? At mine one of the little 5 year olds followed me everywhere I went. She was truly captivated by the whole bride thing. If she had been at a children's party she would have missed that, I wouldn't want to take that away from her.

Answer 94

Provide a table - and a child care person (or two) for the kids with lots of fun activities. Have their food be FUN food - and give them coloring books - and crayons - and even some little wedding craft to make. Maybe some "play at the table" kind of toys.



Tell the parents that the children will be seated at a special table - and cared for by your child care people (hire professionals) - and make it clear to the child care people that THEY are responsible for not allowing the kids on the dance floor while the bride and groom are dancing - etc.



Also - tell the parents that this is your gift to them - so they can have a good time knowing that their kids are being supervised.



Hope that works!

Answer 95

If you invite kids, you will have kids. Kids will 'dance' and play the entire evening. Hire someone to entertain them. Bring a TV/DVD and get the latest kids movies. Set these things up in an out of the way area and hopefully some of the kids will use it.

Putting adults only on the invite is tacky. Try addressing them to Mr. & Mrs. (not & family). Mention to immediate family that you don't want kids, they can casually mention this to others and spread it around. Anyway you do it you will probably have kids.

Answer 96

Beside wedding occasions try to find an activities for the kids. Beside that get some foods for them and maybe u can create an activites and a nanny or part time persons who loves kids and playing with the kids .. ask ur wedding planner to find for u . So that u will attending the occassions in the peaceful. Congratulatuions

Answer 97

How far off is your wedding? have you booked a hall yet? I'm not sure if this is an option, but the hall my aunt booked for her wedding, and a little room off to one side, where they set up a little kids party, and the teenager and a couple adults took turns watching them and playing games.. they had a little dance floor where they could let off some energy, a little snack table and even some bean bags to crash out on.. it was really neat for them, and perfect for the adults.. most of the kids wanted to be in there.. and the few that didn't want to be in there wanted to be with there parents so they were quiet.. like i said, I'm not sure if that's an option for you, but it worked out great for her.. maybe if you cant do that, then someone could take all the kids to someones house for a slumber party? it could be someones wedding present to you? maybe let them all come to the reception for an hour or so, like for the dinner, than pack them up and take them somewhere for a movies night or something?

Answer 98

As a mom of two, I know how distracting the younguns can be...and usually in the way of the spotlight. But i like nothing more htan watching them,

as a response to the proposal to allow childcare at the reception, I ask...would the parent's know the provider? I might just have a hard time leaving my children with a total stranger for the duration of a reception, however thoughtful it be to provide one. This is not a simple dilemma good luck.

Answer 99

I have an idea... Just give a general word of mouth to the parents that they're very welcome to bring them but to not let their kids run amok. Then bring, hire or designate a guy or two that looks like a marine to be on guard during any special moments, like photography, cake cutting, or bridal dance to snag any wayward out of control miscreant and have him have someone return them to their parent while he continues guarding. The show of this enforcement will discourage any of the other kids from trying to become the center of attention during these moments - and if it were my kid and I had my back turned at the time or happened to be in the restroom - I wouldn't mind the extra help at all.

Answer 100

Tell the parents to control there children or else you will not invite them to the wedding. Maybe U should video your wedding and send them your guest with children who get out of control. Kids are kids you were a kid once running around just like them having fun. Enjoy your wedding, UR wedding is not for the kids it's for a family u are going to have. Not thinking about kids running around.



ENJOY UR HONEYMOON?

Answer 101

If you really want to have the kids there provide a safe area to have them supervised and arrange for that supervision. Either by asking family members to take turns or hiring caretakers. Otherwise you will have the out of control tots running the show while their parents party. It seems to be the only choices unless you know the parents are responsible and will put taking care of their children first before their celebrating with the rest of the guests.

Answer 102

No matter how you say it, it will offend someone. If you insist on allowing children, you need to provide and area where they can play and a babysitter or two to look after them. Then you need to just have fun. If there are children, they will get out of control. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Kids get bored at weddings. They are kids. The only other option would be to have an adults only wedding. It may be annoying to you, but such is life.

Answer 103

How about getting a reception hall with a place the kids can go and place the is away from the main hall. If the kids are young, dads and moms can take turns being in the room to watch the kids, or if you don't want to deal with that, and if you can afford it, higher a nanny to sit in the room with them.



They will be included, but out of the way.



Dan

Answer 104

I do home daycare so I love kids but even I have my limits. One of those limits would be kids running around during the dance. That's common sense. Some people don't have that. I can see how you would feel awkward saying get your brats off the dance floor. But you could put it on the dj. Maybe he could say all clear the floor for mr. and mrs...and maybe jokingly throw in something like and this means your little rugrats too. If they don't get that hint I would feel no shame in having someone you are close to like a friend or something walk up and take the kids and say heres your kid back they are trying to enjoy their special day. we all know someone who would be willing to do that.

Answer 105

You should hire a babysitter (oftentimes, a church will provide one), especially if the church has a nursery. Write on the invitation that childcare will be provided during the ceremony.



The reception, on the other hand...

Again, if you can have a "kids room" with a TV and kids' videos and hire someone to watch them. Parents would probably enjoy having a dinner without dealing with the kids. Then, if unruliness starts, ask a bridesmade to encourage the kids to go to the "kids room."

Answer 106

Don't have an adult only reception/wedding as some suggest - it really ticks relative off and causes ill feelings and gossip.



I think you are anticipating something that may not even happen off of the typical Bride worry list. Just have an attitude of joy and have fun at your own wedding.



My suggestion would be to sit down with your maid of honor and the best man and give them this job at the reception - they are suppose to be your helpers for this event and tell them that this is a VERY important issue to you and that if they see any kids running, using outdoor voices or out of control at the wedding, to go up to them and ask them who/where their parent is and to deliver them back to the parent.

Answer 107

Having kids at weddings and receptions kinda sucks for them unless you have something for them to do. I don't even like weddings I would never want to make a child go through that. Get something for the kids to do in a different part of the hall if you want them there and have the DJ announce that if kids aren't with their parents they must be at the designated area. Then say that during the bridal dance and whatnot kids must be off the dance floor. It is your day but if you want all of these people to be there you need to meet them half way and get something to entertain their kids with.

Answer 108

Just relax and enjoy yourself. I have a very large family with a lot of kids and weddings are always interesting. Usually the parents with younger kids cut out around 8 anyway and the ones with teens aren't a bother. One great idea we found was to have those with children bring a fun kid friendly dish. This avoids having to pay full price for an extra kid who wont eat much, and the kids feel pretty special themselves. I also agree with the idea to have a dj make an announcement. A couple of other tried and true ideas are to set up a liittle fenced in dance area for the kids, as well as a corner for movies with bean bags. BUt overall just have fun. I always had a blast at weddings when I was younger and continue to laugh and enjoy myself now that I'm older.

Answer 109

It is very simple. Think of your future say ten years after your marriage and suppose you are parent of two kids. How would you control them in wedding parties, adopt the same tricks. Don't pay for baby sitters for some babies are major. It is better you don't marry. if you marry try not to give birth any child. If by chance some children you have try not to grow to the extent that will harm wedding ceremonies of other couples. Even if you fail them leave them in your house. Lastly what you had been doing in such ceremonies when you were a little child.

Answer 110

It's dancing, they are toddlers, if you want the kids parent's there, then make it family friendly. You can't have it both ways. Most parents do control their kids at these events, its just that parents and non-parental observers have different expectations. Parents know what they can expect out of their children, others just expect all children to behave the same. I know my 5 year old daughter can carry her 15 month old brother because I have seen her do it, but I've had people stare at me in disbelief that I would allow such a thing. The difference, I know her capabilities, they don't.

Answer 111

__ of 2 will attend. (the bride wrote in the 2 ) If they can't come it is 0 of 2. If they both can come it is 2 of 2. That way it is clear that the kiddies are not invited without saying adult reception, or no kids. If there is a family that has older children that you want to invite (teenagers or well behaved kids) the you could do ____ of 4 or whatever it is.



Now if they don't come because their brat

Answer 112

It all worked out great though- parents know how kids are and everyone kept their kids under control and many of the younger ones were the life of the party! watching a 4 year old dance is SO FRICKIN cute! Haha! All the little kids at my wedding ended up being much appreciated and so much fun! I think you are overthinking it! Parent's will control their kids, they know it is your big day.

Answer 113

don't tell them, because no matter how u say it it doesn't come out right. instead have an area where they have balloons, balls, paint and paper and playdoh in ur wedding colors. hire two 'babysitters' who are NOT related to the family to keep them in check. ensure that their duties also entail retrieving runaways from the area where the ceremony is being held. when it is no longer crucial to have control then release the kids. of course this only applies to younger ones who will not keep still.



hint- get college girls coz they are more responsible and being older are more authority figures.



let the parents know that there will be somewhere their kids can have fun. sounds better than "control"

Answer 114

I understand weddngs are already expensive but maybe just hire a nanny serivce for the evening and thye take care of the kids in a different room that way the little monsters can be "there" but not actually present...their parents can be as negligent as they were planning to be and yo uas the bride can have your beautiful wedding...tell them on the invite that care will be provided and i bet they'll get the hint and not even bring them so you won't even have to hire a service

Answer 115

I think it would help you a lot to get your dj to just announce at the start of the reception to be sure to watch the kids and do not let them run around the dance floor and that you would really appreciate it. Thats easy right? Ive been to weddings like that its not rude but yet it reminds the parents that maybe they shouldnt let the kids do whatever.

Answer 116

My cousin had her wedding at a five star hotel and had a hotel room with a baby sitter and ordered pizza and movies, easy solution to the problem. Not sure if you have a similar venue. Or, you can have them go to a designated house. Trust me, most parents would love a night alone without the kids anyway. If they have to be there, really you can't tell them anything. Kids will be kids and the parents are going to be having a good time and not really paying attention to them, so either have them in a separate room, or deal with it.

Answer 117

You really can't, without offending them. Short of not inviting kids (which you don't want to do and I don't advocate either), or not inviting the offending families (parents and kids both), you'll just have to accept that less than perfect stuff happens on every wedding day.

Answer 118

Try enlisting other relatives to keep an eye on the young un's.



Ask grandparents, for instance, and older children, and teens.



That lets the parents enjoy, and the "supervisors" will probably enjoy entertaining their charges.



Get enough people involved that they can do it in shifts.



The other solution would be to arrange a play area at or really near the reception. Again, you'd need to enlist enough older relatives to man the place in shifts. But if there are things for the little ones to to, they can run around as they want.



Do NOT put anything on the invitation. As you guessed, Miss Manners would not approve.

Answer 119

there's no way to tell someone to "control your kids or you will be asked to leave" and not have them take it as a personal attack.



Since you want kids there, and the kids are fairly young, have you thought about providing a babysitting service for the little ones during the reception? There could be an area designated as a playroom for the little ones and you could hire someone to watch over them while the parents party.



otherwise your only alternative is to bite your tongue, smile and remember this when you have your own kids.



and congratulations on the wedding! (honey, they never run the way you want them to, just enjoy the day!)

Answer 120

I would only hire a babysitter if you don't mind being held responsible if anything happens to one of those kids at your reception. I, for one, would not want that responsibility.



I agree with the wedding professional who posted earlier. When you have kids at a reception, you get what you get.



In my opinion, unless these kids are absolute nightmares, I don't see what the big deal is. Weddings are supposed to be about celebrating your love in front of your family. Kids are supposed to be running all over at the reception. It is what kids have been doing at weddings for the last 200 years. It is as American as apple pie. To me it makes it more fun seeing them all run around playing. You never know what crazy thing can happen and I like that. I loved going to wedding receptions when I was little. The bride and groom always played with me and danced with me and nobody ever told me to quit running around.



But to each his own, I guess. If you really don't want to deal with any surprises, then I would advise not having children attend.

Answer 121

You big lot of killjoys! I had children at my wedding and it was lovely that they got to celebrate my day with me. I wanted families there!!



I had a little goody bag for each child with a helium balloon with their name on that had (quiet) toys, a colouring book and pencils and a few sweets. They were all wonderfully behaved and we enjoyed the day all the more because they were there.



If you're really worried, I would ask a couple of ushers to be on kiddy watch so they can warn the children who are being naughty, or ask the parents to have their child with them at key moments.



Adults only weddings - how DULL!

Answer 122

If you know there are going to be a lot of kids there, try and set up something for the kids, maybe their own dance floor, or a play area, not a normal for a wedding but what better way to keep them busy then to give them something to be busy at

I've never seen it but its a thought, I never liked it when they excluded the kids, think it should be taken as a warning to the bride and groom what they have instore!



anyway, congrats on the upcoming wedding, and good luck with the family

Answer 123

Forget "proper etiquette" and do what makes you happy, while still being as polite and accomodating as possible. At our wedding we very politely said "Adult reception to follow ceremony" or something to that effect. If you allow kids to come, understand that they will be crazy maniacs... they're kids! Parents really can only do so much.



I'll say it again... throw etiquette out the window and do what's going to make you happy. Do you want a happy wedding day or do you want to look back at a miserable day and say... "well, at least we had good etiquette"???

Answer 124

You may want to provide childcare for your guests' kids. You can do this either in the reception hall, in an extra room if they have one, or in a conference-type room in the hotel. Hire a couple of high school babysitters and provide some pizza and games, and then you have kids able to come with their parents, but safely away somewhere where they will be able to have kid fun!



If you choose to not do this, there is no proper way to put "Control your damn kid!" (which is how I would LOVE to be able to word it!) on the invitation. If you let people bring kids, you can't do much to tell them how to parent them...unfortunately.

Answer 125

I know what you mean. My husband's is like what you have written above. Another Thing you could do is send out a separate letter letting everyone that no children are to be left unattended, or allowed to be running around at the recrepation. ON a posstive note let them know that you will be providing a Childrens table with coloring books or something of the sort. or if you have an area where there is outdoor area let them know that the outdoor are is for playing and running not inside. I guess what I am saying is write a letter what you except of them and their children with out being rude.

Answer 126

I see a lot of suggestions that YOU hire someone to entertain the kids, or babysit them, but it's not your job to look after them. Your responsibility is to all your guests to ensure they're all comfortable, not just the few with rotten kids. I applaud you for trying to get around this problem without upsetting people.

I have combination of suggestions,

1) Ask the advice of someone in the family with well behaved kids

2) Ask advice from someone in the family with a big mouth.....so he or she will tell someone else and the word will get around. Do it tactfully, bringing in the part about hot dishes/food/location not allowing it to get out of control/and emphasise that you want so much for the parents to enjoy themselves without worrying that the kids will get hurt.....then when the person you confide in tells others, you are the good guy in the scenario.

3) I do think that to ensure YOUR day goes the way you'd like you probably do need to consider a separate room and entertainment for the children, but you shouldn't have to go to that expense, and even if you do there's no guarantee the bratty ones will stay in their own area.

4) Can you enlist the help of the older kids, ask them personally if they'll keep the younger ones in order? You could get the older ones a little gift to say thankyou for their help.



Basically the folks who bring their kids up properly won't be offended, but the ones who allow their kids to run wild WILL be........probably because deep down they know their kids are the problem, but are too lazy to deal with it. Good luck with the arrangements, but if anything does happen to disturb the day, just remember that the day is just the beginning of your life together, not the main part. Congratulations to you both, and don't forget to allow yourself to have fun on YOUR day too.

Answer 127

I'm having alot of travellers so the "no kids" option is out in my case.

I've thought of having a kids area - - a couple tables with crafts, coloring books, and other things for them to do. I'm also considering hiring a couple "babysitters" to watch over the kids and help keep them in line since I find the parents won't bother.

Answer 128

Personally, kids are hard to control, even if their parents are very experienced in parenting. Kids can be very hard to control if they have no intention of attending the party at the first place.





I suggest you do the following:



- designate a certain area to be a kids area, make that area pleasant and interesting for the kids



- told their parents that their kids should be on the kids area, unless to meet the parents, go home, behaved very nicely, etc



- have people experienced with parenting and kids to guard and take care the kids at the kids area

Answer 129

Set up a kids area somewhere in the reception hall and hire a baby sitter or how ever many is needed to deal with the amount of kids - that way kids are always supervised and entertained with appropriate activities but still part of the day

Answer 130

Um.



Don't think you should put that on your invitation.



If you don't want kids to be running around-simply make it an adult only ceremony.



If you want kids there...that is...sort of what kids do.



I think you should just enjoy the day and make it fun. Don't sweat the small stuff.



My wedding was wild & fun! Kids everywhere, adults everywhere. Just have fun.



I wouldn't want to come across as a snob by asking people to leave the wedding. People are what make weddings...weddings :)

Answer 131

they can't get family to watch there kids cuz they will be at the reception, so don't go that way. If it bothers you that much you could do an little extra thing for kids, like a play room just for them, or something like that. I have never had a problem like that so its kinda of hard to help you out. good luck and congrats.

Answer 132

Think differently and read the whole way down...!!



Hi sorry you need to make a decision...

no kids - or you need to trust the judgment of your family (no I would not either)



if you are accepting kids then accept that one or two will 'play up' and the parents will not notice or bother..





OR to do something completly different.....



have you considered having a room off the main wedding with a children's entertainer - so the parents have a party too???



win win!!!

Answer 133

Why not hire some sort of entertainment for the kids? I am sure you could fit something into the budget that will keep the kids occupied. If there is nothing for them to do - they will run out during your bridal dance too - and you will look like a Bridezilla if you make a scene out of it!

Answer 134

You may just have to go with an adult only reception or ask that children under a certain age do not attend the reception. There is really no good way to tell parents to control their kids in situations like this.

Answer 135

deffinetly have a kids section. make it into a fun time for them, while the parents are having fun without worrying about their children. just say in the invitation "if you have a child under the age of ___, there will be a special table for them to stay at to play games and have fun, with kids their own age." something like that. try to get games or something set up for the kids that will keep them entertained. have food that they can eat at their table; like little pizza bites, or something that will keep them entertained. also have a back up distraction in case the kids are to run out onto the dance floor. something that will make them want to go back to the table it's so great! good luck and congratulations. :)

Answer 136

I think the best thing you can do is have a play room by the reception room and hire a sitter to stay in there with them. This way the parents can bring their kids but, they won't be in the way. Good Luck! Have A Nice Wedding!

Answer 137

You could try hiring a few babysitters for the children and have them in a separate room. Make sure there's a tv. Most kids will watch cartoons until it's coming out of their ears. Provide a few snacks and make sure the parents know they can come and check on the litle darlings while they're enjoying an adult wedding. This worked for my neice who was married this past August. Congratulations on your new life.

Answer 138

Tell them that the wedding and reception is for adults only. If you are going to serve alcoholic beverages there, then tell them that you do not want the children to be exposed to the area where alcohol is being served. Also, you could have some close friends or family members take turns watching over children in a volunteer nursery that you have provided for them.

Answer 139

For my wedding we had a special kids room. We hired a storyteller to entertain, and had a big basket of coloring books, cards, games, etc. We also had cupcakes made just for the kids (we served cheesecake to the adults). The kids loved it, the parents loved it, and we barely saw the kids all night. It worked really well.

Answer 140

I would suggest hiring someone to watch the children during the ceremony and reception. Or you could just do the ceremony...whichever you decide. But if you have someone watching the kids then, you would have to have dinner served to them if its a sit down dinner for the adults. But that could be really simple. But honestly, that's gonna add alot onto your plate. I mean I personally would allow the parents to have a kid free ceremony and then and kid friendly reception. Then you only have to pay someone for about an hour of their time. And who knows you may have a younger cousin who wouldn't mind staying in there with them for the ceremony...but the reception you've got me. Are there really that many kids you know? And if they are trul your friends, they won't mind you being honest with them. Good Luck!

Answer 141

I went t 2 weddings and receptions where they had children.

This is what happened. The one I went to was sort of a rich wedding and the bride and groom had like a baby sitter sort of type thing to watch the kids.

The second one was they had different games and coloring book and crayons for the kids to play with.

Also you could ask that they bring something small for the child to play with just in case they get board.

You could also put all ages on the invitation that way no one gets offended behave or something like that.

Answer 142

Maybe you should say that the reception is adults only. Or try including this in the invitation: "The management of (wherever you're holding the reception) has requested that children be accompanied by a parent at all times". You don't really have to give a reason.

Answer 143

I completely relate to you on this one. While I am not married yet myself, I have been to many receptions-even ones marked "adults only"-where kids are present, acting unruly, and parents don't seem to notice or care. I agree with Fraylinn....I think the best way to say it is putting a note on your invitation which says something like, "Children are permitted at the reception, but the bride and groom kindly request proper decorum on their special occasion." I think that pretty much gets the point across with as little backlash as possible. You might still offend someone, but hey, tough cookies, it's your day! Good luck!

Answer 144

I would do an adult only wedding reception. Even the best behaved toddler can have moments. If you really want children there, get some type of Nanny service for the children during important parts of the wedding where you do not want to have a distraction!

Answer 145

Have a babysitter with a special room for kids at the reception and tell parents the kids will be required to go into the babysitting room for the entire reception. Say it in the invitation. Also say parents may choose to leave their children home with their own babysitter if they wish.

Answer 146

You need to let them know ahead of time that this is your very special day and that they are welcome to bring their children, but if they cannot watch them and keep them under control they will be asked to take their children somewhere else. This is your wedding and you will have other guests there that do not have to deal with out of control kids. I would let them know that in the invitation. It does not matter if it is proper or improper it is your wedding and not theirs. Have it your way and if they can not understand it is something that they will have to deal with.

Answer 147

I used to be a wedding coordinator and what I used to have them do if possible was have a room right off the main room and we'd hire a clown to entertain the kids. It was awesome! And the kids had a blast. They'd have face painting, tricks, magic show, movies, etc. It really was wonderful, and it kept the wedding guests happy as well. We also had a kid friendly buffet along side the adult buffet to make it fun. Congratulations!

Answer 148

Melissa, one idea I have for you is to have it written on something else and included in the invitation envelope but not directly on the invitation. You shouldn't be so worried about offending these parents- they're not worried about offending you or anyone else when they allow their kids to misbehave. I would also have something at the wedding/reception that is kid friendly. This shows that, while you welcome children, you also expect them to behave. You can include some of the kid friendly games/areas on the same card that asks the parents to enforce good behavior. Keep in mind that having kids around at any event is what adds to the beauty of life. If you want to talk about this with someone who's got great advice, call into Lee Mirabal's radio show on Thursday or Friday night at 8 PM Pacific at 877-474-3302. You can hear her show online at www.wsRadio.com and she's got great advice on things like this. Her show is called "Your friendly next door neighbor" and she's got great advice on things like this.

Answer 149

Why not hire some ECE students to have a child-friendly room just for the kids. This will allow the parents to check up on the kids, and keep the kids seperate from the hall.

Answer 150

I don't blame you at all. I would make an announcement on the microphone, at the beginning of the reception, and I would say: "I'm so thankful that you all came, but the bridal dances are about to begin, and I would greatly appreciate it, if all the Parents could be so kind to make sure their darling children are seated during this most precious bridal dance!"

Answer 151

Talk to them..

you really dont want them ruining a wedding,and it sounds liek the parents done care about how people look at them..if they let there kids run aroudn like that and i saw i would honestly think that they didnt care about or what there kids do.



not a good first impression.

Answer 152

setting up an activity table loaded with crayons and a few games and snacks they can pick on is a good idea. Maybe designate an older child or two to Keep an eye out and keep them occupied during the important parts of the reception.

Answer 153

where is the reception?



Just a thought/shot in the dark, see if the reception area has a room to accomodate the kids and hire a couple baby sitters. I know it is an additional cost, maybe you can get the bridesmaid/ best man to wink wink nudge nudge the parents into shelling $5 for the added cost of the room/sitters.

Answer 154

Never underestimate the potential for evil in the average human being. The fact is that children are often used by parents to exact revenge from someone they envy, dislike or even hate. I was shocked one day when I heard the wife of a friend complain about a beautiful new rug her sister-in-law had bought. She said, "Just wait until Doug (her 3-year-old son) gets through with it after I give him a bag of chocolates." I suppose I had been naive all my life until I heard that remark. I couldn't even believe I heard it, but I did. You may have a similar problem with the guests at your wedding. Think about it.

Answer 155

Include in the invite that the occasion is Adults only. It is your day and you do not want little Johnny to be running up and down the isle or have someone's baby crying during your vows messing up your video.

If they don't like it screw'em.



But if it is in the invite there will be no surprise when they get turned around at the door.

Answer 156

I was going to suggest you add it to the invitation " no children".

But it appears you DO want children.

Then~~..you have to put up with the fact some parents do not keep their kids in line.

You annot dictate to the parents. And you cannot ask them to leave.

YOU invited them. They have the right to be there.

Again~~~~You cannot dictate how parents do / or do not allow their children to act.

If you wanted a wedding where the children were not disruptive~~~~~

You should have specified on the invitation. "Adults only"

Now it's your problem to accept disruptive children, if that is what occurs.

Answer 157

Are you having a reception after wards? My sister in law added in her invite no children please at reception. If people get offended then oh well. It's your wedding and i completely understand as far as the kids go. Parents just think they are on holiday when out in public for someone else to care for the kids. You do what you feel is necessary.

Answer 158

The only way around this is to tell people that children under

a certain age (maybe 5 or 6) aren't invited. If you don't make this clear, people will bring their kids and it will ruin your day.

So you have the right to be selfish on this one. I happen to

agree with you, I have been to weddings (and movies, and

the grocery store, etc.) where people let their kids go nuts

and they think it's cute, when it's really just annoying...

Answer 159

#1 - Invitations should be written:

John Smith

John smith and guest

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith



This way kids are not invited



Some people actually put a note on the bottom as to say that kids are not invited. Weddings are already expensive you should not have to provide kids with food also. In my wedding we did not have any children present.



Good Luck!

Answer 160

Ok, I know you've already said that lots of family members have kids, but I agree: ADULTS ONLY.



We also have lots of kids in my family, and my sister just had an adults only reception a few weeks ago. There were a couple of people who put up a little bit of an objection, but, ultimately, ALL of them attended, and apparently found a place for the kids to stay for the night.



As my sister explained it, the reception is an adult affair where alcohol is served. It is simply inappropriate for kids to be there. On her invitations, she just referred to the reception as an "adult reception." People got the message. It was a huge amount of fun.

Answer 161

Hire a babysitter to keep the kids during the wedding and then let them come to the reception and have fun That's what I did and it worked out beautifully. No one was offended and everyone had a great time.

Answer 162

Here's what I did: I provided childcare both at the church and the reception. We just a hired a babysitter that we were VERY confident with - she actually worked in the nursery at the church. We were able to use the church nursery, during the wedding, and the reception place had a place for us to use also.

You can't ask people to leave the reception because their children are having fun - but, personally, I wouldn't take small children to a wedding and reception unless they were in the wedding.

Answer 163

If they could control their kids then they wouldn't be like that in the first place. Kid's don't just suddenly listen if their parents suddenly start telling them no. Those parents don't say no or stick to a punishment. What it comes down to is if you tell them to control Jr they will not be ABLE to do it and be insulted. Your best bet is to either to hire entertainment just for them or say it's an adult only wedding.



Good luck and congrates.

Answer 164

Since it is your wedding, you don't want to upset yourself or appear upset to your guests. You need to designate someone or more than one person in your family with a strong personality who can help keep the kids occupied and who isn't afraid to tell the kids to settle down if they get out of hand.



You definitely shouldn't be worrying about stuff like that on your wedding day.

Answer 165

maybe provide a nursery for the kids to go in during the ceremony and/or reception. you certainly don't want to be spending your time running around telling folks to control their kids; designate a friend to do it - at least you have made it an important point instead of ignoring it. as far as in the invitation, maybe 'kids are welcome but please maintain an atmosphere of restrained joy." would that get the point across?! :) you know, the truth is that the folks who let their kids run wild are likely to get offended almost no matter what you say, cuz it's not a priority to them. good luck!

Answer 166

I would just talk to all the kids about it. All the ones that can talk anyway. Just say something like 'auntie ____ is having a very important day today and you will make her very upset if you are noisey" kids will normally respect that actually. well if the kids like you, which they will normally listen to you better than your parents. As for the babies, They are too young to really understand what's going on anyway and its IMPOSSIBLE to control a child who can't talk. So your best bet would be hiring a nanny of some sort to occupy them. Also, its YOUR WEDDING, you can really just tell everyone please control your kids. Put up a sign at the front that says please control small children, there is a door [there] ---> in case they get too distracting. Thank you.

Answer 167

What is it that makes the kids go wild? Maybe try to stay away from that activity.



For example, I noticed that balloons are what made the kids go nuts at my cousin's wedding... so I did not have any balloons. Instead, I had about a dozen or so coloring books and crayons on the tables. That worked out very well.

Answer 168

Why not have a kids area? Hire a babysitter to take care of the kids in a seperate room, or "kids area".Make sure the kids have activiites, games, maybe a portable dvd player on the side. They only run around and fuss because they are bored.

Answer 169

Would it be offensive if in the invitation you requested that if any children would be attending, that they're would be placed in a play room during the reception? You could request from the owners of the place where the wedding would be, that a room be made available for children, and get an adult to watch them in the room. You might put toys or a VCR in the room for them to watch cartoons to keep them quiet.

Answer 170

Sorry, but you can't. The fact that the parents let their kids run wild tells you right there about the parents attitude. When I see a kid running around like an idiot going ak! ak! ak! what I actually hear is, "Mom and Dad, please teach me how to behave like a gentleman (or lady)!"



But if Mom and Dad's attitude is such that they cannot hear that, there is nothing you can do.



People who let their kids misbehave in public think it is perfectly natural they act that way, because "that's what kids do." You will see them not only at weddings, but in the grocery store, shopping mall, restaurants, etc.



If you say anything, you will only offend them. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Answer 171

How about you offer a play room in the basement of the church for children under a certain age & ask a cousin or neice to babysit while the ceremony takes place. Then you don't have to worry about kids disrupting the ceremony. At the reception it shouldn't be a problem if they romp around and have fun, right?

Answer 172

Well sorry but you can't have it both ways. Most parents unfortunately do nothing to control their kids these days.

It should be an adults only reception, or let the kids come and hope for the best.

You can't MAKE parents control their kids. It just won't happen.

Answer 173

Have you thought of a nanny/kids entertainer for the night! Hire someone to entertain the young ones during the speeches etc., in another room or corner of the reception. Feed them kids food, entertainment, like a disco, then after the speeches are over they can join the party...a little worn out ..

Answer 174

vannilla e has it right, just ask for an extra room for the kids to be in with a sitter. or find a nanny or someone to bring and have that person watch the kids and keep them ounder control. make sure its atleast a 1-5 ratio. if the kids are young, for every 4 or 4 your going to want another person there watching and keeping them under control.

Answer 175

Maybe you can set up an activity for the kids..and have one or two of the parents volunteer to manage over the little one...

Depend on the age maybe a color activity they can make a huge greeting card for you and your hubby..have a cute station set up with stcikers, crayons and aprons... just for them~

You will have one in the 1st weddings to have a mini kid activity center....if you want to go all out you can have a mini snack bar...be creative..... Congrats and good luck~~

Answer 176

Can you set up a kid area? Food, games, etc? Hire a few "babysitters" to keep the kids occupied during the events. The invite could state, if you prefer to bring your children, they will need to hang out in the kid section, as the reception is adults, only.

Answer 177

Put two or three friends in charge of disaster relief at the wedding. Asking people in anyway is kind of rude unless their children are in th eprocess of being rude or misbehaving.



Have 2 or 3 of your buds watch out for things like that at the wedding. Explain that its your day and your nervous enough. That way, they can politely remind a parent that their child is being unruley by the buffet table and they can handle it. Any other way will cause you or your guests uneeded stress, It worked at my wedding.



Good luck and congrats !

Answer 178

I wouldn't worry so much about it. For the most part, your friends should be curteous enough to discipline their children. If a kid acts up during the ceremony/reception the parents should respond and take their kid outside. If not, maybe make a slight joke about it in a light way and they should get the hint.



But remember it's your day... Don't let little things get you down!



;-)

Answer 179

if you invite families with small children there isnt much you can do except put up with it. toddlers are very hard to control at large gatherings and celebrations,they get giddy due to excitement,tiredness,too much food ,sugar etc.if you really dont want to offend, do as my cousin did at his wedding,he specified on the invitation that no children under twelve were to be allowed.no-one minded and parents who wanted to attend had time to make sure their small children were looked after during the wedding.we all enjoyed ourselves,and their was no stress,tension,or hurt feelings.

Answer 180

Yeah, I competely understand. I have nightmares about that from my bros (2 bros) wedding. To make thing worse, their wedding isn't a normal western wedding but a chinese culture one (where even a single table is really counted)



It's hard to forbid those parents bring their children. If you forbid them then

1. May be the parents won't come altogether

2. They won't be long at your wedding since they must go home quickly to take care their children at home



May be the best alternatives is

1. To make childrens corner (and mention that at the invitation card, so parents will drop their children there)

2. To hire professional children care-taker (like clown or something like that) to tame those little er... children.

Answer 181

Have a sitting service come. Most of these companies will take care of the young ones during the "ceremonies" during the reception, and then when it's OK for kids to be kids they are let loose.



Personally, I said no children at mine for this reason, and to hell with who didn't approve and didn't come. My wedding my rules is how it is and should be.

Answer 182

I do not think it is a universally accepted practice. Usually it is a matter of no cousins are invited. That effectively eliminates the problem. The other way is to provide a separate room for their benefit with supervision, child food and games so hey wouldn't get bored with the adults. Of course the last resort is to just get them fall down drunk.

Answer 183

Hire or appoint a babysitter and provide a room where they can go and do fun things. If you are having a church wedding, they should have a toddlers nursery set up already.



If you are getting married somewhere else, just brainstorm where would be a good place nearby to entertain the children at least during the ceremony.

Answer 184

Just have a wedding with an age limit.... Maybe allow more mature (like 10+ or 12+) kids to come along.

Answer 185

have the kids bring pajamas



rent an extra room at the hotel for "Camp Wedding" and hire a few young college students to be camp counselors and whisk the kids away after 1-1/2 hours and do fun kid things with them while the adults enjoy a proper adult wedding reception



congratulations!!!

Answer 186

How about having maybe a friend of the family, like a neices best friend or someone like that, that you know can be trusted, there. Have her/them in a seperate room for like a "daycare" during the event. That way everyone can attend, and nothing will be ruined for your special day. Congratulations!



The way I am, if my kids aren't welcome, then I won't go. I go nowhere without our children. Our children know when to behave to though. Not all parents teach that sadly.

Answer 187

Find someone who would be willing to host a small child care area for a little cash. Then put in the invitations that childcare will be provided for a small fee (your amount for sitter), if the parents choose to bring their children. this way nobody gets their feelings hurt and has a choice of bringing the children or getting their own sitter. It also gives them the message that children are not invited- only nicely.

Answer 188

Just tell them to control their kids. Straight up. This is your special day and it shouldn't have to be overshadowed by a bunch of noisy @ss kids. Point blank. Don't be nasty or anything, just let them know.



-Knowledge24

Answer 189

Sorry, my family was the same way, so we said no kids. The youngest was 14. When we said it, we were surprised that most still came. They went together to get babysitters for the 30 kids.

Answer 190

Well i would probably tell the parents before the wedding that they need to control their kids because wherever your having the wedding is super strick and doesn't want any out of control behavior and the stuff there is really expensive and you don't want it to be broken







Hope I helped :)

Answer 191

It is your day so you shouldn't have to worry about it. Ask someone ie. one of you parents or a member of the wedding party to say something to the parents if their kids are getting out of hand. Also to keep them involved before we did the flower and garter toss we had the little kids come to the floor and we tossed candy and little prizes for them. Kept them quiet

Answer 192

Just let your family know that they will be asked to leave if their childrene gets out of hand during the dance. My conversation would be something like..Ladies during the dances will you please keep the children off the dance floor? If any child is caught on the dance floor during the dances someone will come ask you to leave. Please do not be offended but for safety sake it's in the best interest of the child and guest.

Answer 193

Sweetheart. This is your day. You should not have to worry about somebody's kid running amuk. You should absolutely put it on the invitations adult reception only. If they can't respect your decision, they don't need to share your wonderful day. All the other suggestions you got about hiring a sitter, putting the kids at their own table, buying games for them, will not work. If the parents let their children run crazy at your other relatives wedding, then they certainly will let them do it at yours. Unless you stipulate it in your invites. Besides, who needs to be pleased here you or them? Hmmmmm lets think about that, Please yourself and make this the happiest day of your life, and don't think twice about the kids. No kids allowed!!!!

Answer 194

Your only recourse is to hire a 'sitter or sitters' for the kids.

You can have a room where they can play video games, watch movies, etc.

The parents will probably like it also, because they can have fun without worrying about the kids.

Answer 195

There's really no good way to tell parents they need to control their parents. Additionally, the kids that need to be controlled are the ones who have parents who don't know how to control them.



My recommendation: There's nothing that says you have to invite kids to your wedding. Have the invitations say Mr & Mrs ....., and don't include "& Family". You'd be surprised. Most parents don't want to bring their kids anyway.

Answer 196

My best suggestion is to hire a sitter or two to watch the kids. Keep them close, maybe in a room that is connected, but still separate enough to keep them close. If this is doable, go for it. Otherwise, maybe you could make a goodie bag for them with crayons (or better-those "magic" markers that only write on the special paper) to keep them busy, maybe little games, etc.



Good luck!

Answer 197

Along with all the other things you have to do one more might be to hire a professional child care person (sitter, nanny, teacher, something) and then have a children's' table.



With this person or persons minding the children's' table the inept parents wont be in charge but since they are still in the same room they will feel comfortable with it. And then they can have fun, the kids can have fun, and you can have fun.



And congratulations!

Answer 198

if kids come to your reception they WILL be outta control. They parents won't stop them either because they'll be to drunk to care. Free soda all night + dancing= disaster. the only way to prevent this is to have it be an "adults only" reception. putting this on your invitation isn't rude! its asserting that you don't want your expensive dress to be stepped on or kids body surfing across the dance floor knocking people over and thinking its funny!

Answer 199

I have worked in many situations with moms with kids.



Bottom line, you can not tell a parent how to parent without them getting defensive. They either control their kids, or they don't, and if they are the type that does not then no matter what you say, they won't.



My advice would be to provide childcare for them.



If you want kids to be there, then you have to accept whatever behavior. If you want to insure against that type of behavior, then don't have the kids there.



Sorry I don't have a better answer for you.

Answer 200

It isn't unethical to say "adults only" in your invitation. Its YOUR wedding not theirs. If they don't show up because they can't bring their brats with them, better for you, less mouths to feed. Ask for an RSVP to those who are going or not so you can get a full head count and don't let it bother you. I agree that parents who can't control their kids during formal functions should not be invited to the next.

Answer 201

sparate the kids put then in a different room with like an adult and toys and stuff toddler are alot to handle and if you disapend them you always look like the bad guy thats if you want them apart of your wedding and want them there but if you dont want them there only invite adults i hope you find an answer and and just have fun at your wedding

Answer 202

At my wedding we hired two sitters and had a kids area with kids music and treats - tvs - games and bouncing play things. All told it only added $1200 to the cost of the wedding. It saved our wedding from our friends impossible kids and the adults appreciated the break and everyone had a nice time.

Answer 203

anyone who is offended by "please control your kids or they will be asked to leave" is probably somebody you wouldn't want there anyways.



People who do control their kids don't see this as an issue, the ones who don't or who refuse to accept their kids are kids, would just ruin your day.



I would say it just you did 'please control your kids as if this were a church service (quite, not running around and polite) or we will have to ask you to leave. This is a very special and important day to us and we would love for everyone, including your children to be apart of it, but we also don't want to ruin this for everyone including us. Thank you"



I dont see the harm or foul in this.

Answer 204

Is there a way to designate a kids area and hire a few nannies to watch the children and keep them separate from your reception? I realize this would cost extra money but if you want the kids there but you don't want trouble, it may be the only option.

Answer 205

Not to be rude or anything >>>>>adults only reception get all the parents together & come up with a plan to have a "CHILDRENS DAY " to take care of the kids >>>>>>the only downfall will be is the WHO,, & what -to do -& Where to take them.... If anywhere

Answer 206

Unfortunately, the way most modern parents "train" their kids is not at all. You'll have to decide between no kids at the wedding or wild kids at the wedding. The parents can find a babysitter for everything else, right? Let them do so for your wedding.

Answer 207

I have been to one reception that had the dance floor, cake area all fenced off! It was a 2 foot white fence that had several gates so guests could go in and out with no troubles. It was great! It did keep out the little ones who would no doubt trip a dancer, and little fingers were off the cake. Good luck, Chaplain Debby

Answer 208

First off congratulations on you upcoming wedding.



If it is imposable to specifically request that your wedding and/or reception be an adult only event I would suggest that maybe you look into hiring a few licensed individuals to look after and entertain the children. This would free the adults not to have to worry about them, and having nearby would help with the nervous parents.



Weddings are absolutely boring to children, and they need to find a way to use up their energy.



@>----->-----------

Answer 209

Set up a little place for Just Kids. And have some activities and stuff for them to do instead of getting bored and acting out in order to get their parents to leave. I hope this helps.

Answer 210

the idea proposed by one or two respondents that some parents would rather sit in the bar enjoying themselves and leave their kids to run wild reminds me of our dear friends the McCanns - they left their kids alone unattended and look what happened to their daughter!! Parenthood is a responsibility of every second of every minute of every hour of every single day - regardless of what function you, as a parent, happen to be attending - parents CHOOSE to have their children so they are RESPONSIBLE for them at wedding receptions and at all other times.



That said if you choose to invite children and dont want them ruining the day for you, I agree with the idea of a separate room - probably with a bouncy castle / magician / other entertainer plus their own meal with a good ratio of supervisors to children.

Answer 211

Its sad, but in this country people worship babies, want to be friends with their children instead of parents, and think misbehavior is cute.

Try asking your bridesmade, or family member, to do your dirty work for you and tell the parents to control them , or have a separtate area for kids, and a guardian. Can you mom and mom in law take turns monitoring int the kids room?

Answer 212

How about if you hire a sitter specifically for the wedding and reception, and the kids can be in an adjacent room while the adults attend the wedding and reception?

Answer 213

We had a 9 month-old son when we got married. And many of our friends have kids. What we did was to hire 3 babysitters for them to watch the children at our house so our friends can enjoy an evening off without kids. It worked out well!

Answer 214

Why not provide a kid's room with attendants? The reason kids misbehave at functions like this is because they are bored. If there was a little place that they could go and color, play games, etc., their parents could enjoy themselves and so could the kids.

Answer 215

Just hire a nany while people show up with the kids and tell them to take them to the nany and come back, thats what my cousin did for her wedding! and the reason why she did it was cause on of my other cousins wanted her baby to be there! I don't mid about that, I get a babysiter for my kids!

Answer 216

Just invite the adults to the wedding and if you want to invite them to the reception more than likely they are not going to take their kids with them to the reception part.

Answer 217

I hired one of my friends to set up a make-shift nursery in one of the rooms next to where the reception was being held. The kids could still come, but if they got bored the nursery was there. We brought in a t.v. for movies, and had a ton of games and a bunch of "kid friendly" food. It was a big hit. Good Luck!

Answer 218

I WOULD include it in the invitations.

This is YOUR day & uncontrolable children & irresponsible parents have no right to judge you for wanting to keep it YOUR special day.

Something like....

To those with small children, it would be greatly appreciated if you were to take extra measures to assure that your children remain well mannered & kept under close supervision so as not to disrupt the ceremony or the Bridal dance. Thank You for understanding that this is a very special day for my fiance/husband & I, your cooperation would be greatly appreciated. If you are unable abide by this request, you will regrettably be asked to leave.





If they are offended, tuff. Kids MUST learn manners & if more parents were offended by family or strangers telling them to control their children, maybe they would see that not everyone appreciates wild children running rampant through, weddings, stores, restaurants, etc.

Answer 219

You dont.



Either you allow children and expect childish behavior and just accept it as a good sign that life goes on...that kids are part of a future with your spouse.....and hope their parents take care of their behavior as much as possible.....



or you don't allow kids.





If you allow kids, then correct the parents, you will leave lifelong impressions.

Answer 220

theres only one true way to do it and here it is



sit down and have a talk with them privately and be straight foward and make a point to say if they cant control there kids DONT come at all. most likely they will understand the imporatance of a wedding to be perfect

Answer 221

I have the EXACT same situation

I am thinking about having a seperate room and hiring 2 babysitters, a movie and some toys and a craft or two if they choose to "let loose" - however, i haven't chosen nor mentioned it to a venue yet - but this can be a possibility - say somehting along the lines "if your child wishes to play and jump around they have this that and the other in this room" and the best thing to do is tell it to your MOH and parents to spread the word in a way like "wow, she's accomodating the kids" kind of a thing



i'm still working on the wording myself





good luck

Answer 222

I agree with all that said separate the kids from the rest of the party! Hire a Nanny to come and 'Party' with the kids in the other room!

Answer 223

I suggest making it an "adult only" party. Alot of people understand that kids can really act out at a big gathering. It's your wedding and you should be able to have things the way you want them.

Answer 224

Maybe you can make a play area, or private room with a few sitters in there. Then everyone can come, but the kids will just be somewhere else playing with each other.

Answer 225

I am really getting the feeling you really don't want the kids there if they cannot behave. Toddlers can be especially unruly as they have reached the age of independence and willfullness. Actually, most parents would like the occassional break from the kids and have an adults only moment. However, it's hard to tell one set of parents you can bring your children and tell another set you cannot. So it is an all or none situation and no in betweens.



You should NOT have to tell any parent to control their kids as that is the responsibility of any parent to be aware what their child is doing and how they are behaving. Especially at a wedding, because the moment is for the honored couple and not for the kids. So if parents cannot be courteous enough to control their children at a most, observed precious time, then they have no business in bringing their children to such events as this is to be the one and only moment to get married.



If those parents won't come because they cannot bring their kids, then they are selfish instead of realizing the special moment is for you and your groom. If they cannot set aside a moment of time to celebrate with you, that is their choice not yours, but if you are insistent in accomodating others instead of them accomodating you, then you have a few choices. These seem to be mostly family members' children you are concerned about, be vocal at both your bridal and wedding shower about how you feel children running loose, misbehaving, and possbily injuring someone or themselves at all these events each and every time you get together.



I would be open and honest with your "guilty" family members reminding them how Janie behaved at Joey's wedding, and Sara's wedding, etc. You don't have to be mean about it, but you can be frank and diplomatic at the same time. If you keep mentioning the subject, then hopefully the "aware" ones will get the hint.



Otherwise,

1. Hire a few sitters to watch the kids either at the place you are holding the event after you have confirmed if they will allow hired people to watch kids at their place (Liability insurance issues can arise). See if they can provide a separate room at a reasonable cost where you can hook up a few TVs (one to watch with some age appropriate DVDs and another to play video games) or choose someone else's place



2. Create a kids only table where perhaps a few adults will volunteer to supervise the kids table with fun activities for age range toddler to age 12. Coloring books, safety scissors and construction paper, origami folding competition, who can make the best tissue boquet (need glue and the bouquet holder can be a cone from construction paper) where you could have a moment sliced out for the adults to admire the work and the bride and groom to do the voting.



3. Or simply put, please no children at the reception as we plan to celebrate in style or specify a time the reception party will be adults only. This is a hint that alcohol may be present at the reception party and kids should not be a witness to the drunk antics of adults.



If you elect 3, again word of mouth at the showers as to why they will not be included because of the presence of alcohol is not a place for children to be about, that should settle the matter.



I did have children at my wedding. I had the activity table set away from the adults off to a corner so the kids could feel they were on their own. I checked every hour or so to make sure things were faring well over there and had a few volunteer adults take turns sitting with the younger ones to admitre their work. Also, I had the 8-10 yer olds to be "supervisors" of the toddlers to be "responsible" and play with them. They loved that as it made them feel a bit grown up. Any kids that deviated from the spot, I calmly grabbed their hand and reminded them that they could not be running about loose for their safety, Those that were getting a bit unruly, I took to their parent and told them I think Janie is feeling grumpy, antsy, or whatever the crime was and you may want to cuddle with her as my gentle hint get them under control. I only had 3 minor incidences of that and usually they calmed down once they realized they would be excluded from the kids activity table. The older kids pretty much did their own thing and were disinterested with the whole process and brought handheld video games to amuse themselves



We made sure the DJ had a few kids dance songs in which one set was for the kids only on the dance floor and then a few times where the kids could dance with a parent or an adult of their choice. We made sure it was done periodically so the kids didn't feel relegated to only the corner ALL the time as attention span and eay boredom is a huge factor for all kdis of any age. Also, we had kid friendly drinks and kid friendly food items at a kid only buffet table set up so they could help themselves without interfering with the adult foods (again with periodic adult supervision to make sure food wasn't getting wasted or getting out of control at the table).



As to my child, we always had a sit down talk prior to any special occassion. We went over the ground rules of behavior and expectations of courteous rules and the consequences if he failed ot observe them. Children may have a sponge brain for learning, but they need constant reminders of the rules as consistency is part of "practice makes perfect" or at least if not perfect, better learned behavior. He's age 10 now and I still go over the ground rules to remind him when we go out to special events together



Good luck, congratulations on your impending vows (1 year married and no regrets), and much prayers.

Answer 226

Be precise and to the point. " This is a very important day in my life and I want to enjoy it without any distraction from unsupervised children. I hope you can appreciate my position on this matter. If I don't bring this issue up front and children ruin my wedding. I will be upset. If this upsets you by bringing this up. Better for you to be upset than me on my wedding day."

Answer 227

Write that there has to be an adult in between each kid. There should be 1 adult per 2 child... Makes it easier on everyone... it's better to have a person in between kids so if they both try and run u can grab both at one lol

Answer 228

Hire a jumping castle, and put up a notice no kids allowed on this castle.

The ones taking notice should be OK in the hall and the difficult ones will be out of your hair.

Answer 229

At the ceremony hire someone to look after them in another room and at the reception do the same hire someone to entertain the kids in another room or just say no kids allowed.

Answer 230

hire a babysitter and have a children room so they can be there and the parents can have fun. That's the main reason I'm not having kids at my wedding! haha good luck with everything though

Answer 231

How about providing child care for the wedding and then having the children attend the reception? If this is your wedding YOU are in control. this is not the time to be "too polite"...you will only resent them later.

Answer 232

Have a room set up for kids and have like an older kid who you can trust and whos good waith kids stay in that room with them and have a movie playing and some food or something works evertime

Answer 233

really tough. during our ceremony itself, my wife and i provided a sitter and asked everyone to leave the kids with them. the reception is another story. the few kids we had there were great and had a blast, but i would just ask politely that they make sure the first dance remains special for the 2 of you.

Answer 234

Hire a sitter and give him a gun.

Really, tho, why invite disaster?

This is a case of reality versus fantasy. In your fantasy, your friends can come and bring adorable little munchkins who eat nicely and stand adoringly at their sides and smile for the camera.

Perfect little Disney Tinkerbell wedding.

The reality is, you are going to be helplessly watching them pull the tablecloth off and dump your cake, eat poisonous plants, and set the canopy on fire.

Animal House on Acid Wedding

Try putting this in the reception note:

Well-behaved children welcome.

Then, their parents can decide it they want to be wardens or enjoy their time alone.

Answer 235

I agree with the idea of you hiring a babysitter. But to save money on that, perhaps you could ask a teenager that is already coming. A teen would be far less expensive than if you look for a professional baby sitter.

Answer 236

The first question is how old of kids, if they are teens then I'd talk to the parents and be polite if they are really young just relax and try to enjoy yourself. the real problem is the parents not the kids. hope this helps

Answer 237

Being that I'm rather blunt, I would say "Listen here, if I hear a word out of your kids, you & them are outta here." But, you seem a lot nicer than I am.



If you'd rather not tell the parents yourself (which I wouldn't, but that's me), have someone make a general announcement along the lines of "Welcome to the wedding of so & so. Out of respect, please watch your children at all times so that the wedding will be enjoyable to all."



Good luck, I hope this helped, & congrats about your wedding!!!! Enjoy it, it is about you! Lol.

Answer 238

Send out notices first to get the word out. If this doesn't work then verbally be direct but respectful by telling them. Good luck

Answer 239

kids will be kids at the end of the day!! i assumming from your question that you do not have any!!! if it is going to worry you that much then you will just have to have adults only. I am not saying you have to expect the kids to trash the place but to be fair the kids are likely to be excited so you cant expect them to just sit there quietly like little angels all day!!!

Answer 240

Kids under 5 should not be at weddings.

Answer 241

Just say on the invitations......



Blah blah blah

Please keep a Eye on children during all times of the Wedding(in big bright read font and put in their if u want "important" like in little font above it)

Answer 242

You could set something up for the kids.

Like have child care providers to watch the kids.

Or just suggest that the parents take their kids over to a kids area that you've set up so they dont bored.

Answer 243

Say to them that there are no children allowed until the ceromonie has ended and that children can stay at the reception until 9:00pm (example). I don't think it would be rude at all considering that you're the one getting married. Just ask them to attend to their children, and to not let them scream and run up and down the aisle.

Answer 244

Tell them that the site of the reception won't allow noisy children. Tell them that you don't want the kids to get hurt?



Or, better yet, create sort of a kids area. Stick a bunch of toys and stuff in one corner, then corral it off with something and tell the kids to stay in that area. sure, they'll still be loud (they ARE kids, afterall) but at least they'll be contained.

Answer 245

This is a tough situation your in, but I know exactly what you mean.

What can be included in the invitation is, if accompanied by child please make sure that you are able to keep a close eye on them due to the fact that their will be breakables all over.



Hopefully this helps, and Congrats, =0)

Answer 246

Hire a babysitter for the day. Pay some deserving teenager good money, and have a safe environment for him/her to watch the kids. OR.............tell everyone that uncontrolled children will be given free puppies and kittens.

Answer 247

I know this may be a little unreasonable but maybe you could get a room for the children to eat at. my cousin did this and it worked wonders. the parents could check on the kids but not hear them all the time

Answer 248

Is there any way a teenager in the family could babysit the younger children and have activities for them to do during the reception (in a different area) so that the adults can enjoy themselves?

Answer 249

YOU ARE TO UPTIGHT!!! Just relax have a cpl drinks and let everyone have fun. Do u think if you told the kids parents this they would have fun? If they don't have fun YOU won't have fun!!! Besides do u think you were a perfect little kid??? I assume you don't have any kids so u prob. have no idea what it is like to take kids anywhere.

Answer 250

In the center table make a program of the reception events (cake cutting, bouquet tossing etc...) and include a statement that says that child care is provided, and maybe something to the effect of "please ensure that your children do not detract from today's focus on the bride & groom".

Answer 251

get the older kids/teens to watch them in a separate room buy small action figures and other small gifts for the children to play with



i have been to a wedding where this happened and everything worked out fine

Answer 252

It's quite simple don't invite the kids. Weddings aren't a place for children unless they're part of the immeadiate family and part of the wedding. (ie. siblings or nieces and nephews)

Answer 253

iam sure it is very important day to you

you do not want any thing to make you warry about.

so that you should tell them that you give them 2 choices:

1 bring there children and promise you to control them there at your wedding.

2 do not bring the children with them and keep them at home with someone or baby sitter.

tell them that if they bring thire kids to the wedding they can not enjoy the party at all because they will be warry about therie kids and keep eye on them.

be honest with them and everything will be OK.

urs

heti

Answer 254

let the kids come.. let them hav their fun.. arrange sum seperate section.. other than the section with all d adults n the dances n the smooching.... for the kids...

get a few clowns n those inflatable slides tht kids love to jump on..

scatter loads of balloons round the place.. they r cheap.. n kids have a gr8 fascination 4 em... tc.. happy married life

Answer 255

A wedding is an adult affair. There should be no teens, kids, or babies. If people can't cough up a few bucks for a sitter, imagine what your wedding gift will be?

Answer 256

Be like " Although kids are allowed, parents must keep a hold of them in order to keep order; otherwise, they will be asked to leave. Thanks"



Put this at the bottom of the invite that way it's not offensive

Answer 257

Your fiancee needs to give thought as to what kind of control freak he's about to marry. I can see keeping them muzzled during the ceremony, but you're talking about the reception when the adults themselves are getting drunk and behaving worse than children.

Answer 258

I don't think including a little note regarding the need to discipline children is improper etiquette. I believe if people know prior to coming that they may be asked to leave if their children are unruly, it may prompt them to make sure they behave.

Answer 259

tell them to get a muzzle for their kids! No just kidding! Just say that you would appreciate it if they kept their kids calm while you are dancing with your father and husband! Tell them that it would mean a lot to you! Also say that you don't want to offend them and if you did that your sorry!

Answer 260

Keep in mind: it's YOUR wedding; YOU get to make the rules.



If you don't want their unruly kids there, you can stipulate in the invitations that small children are not welcome there.



Yes, you're going to chafe some people, and may end up turning some people away because of it. But it IS your prerogative.

Answer 261

Provide Babysitting for the reception and stipulate that the reception is for "adults only because alcoholic beverages will be being served.

Answer 262

say shut the brats up or leave no im kidding tell them that it would mean alot if they kept there children quiet cause this is a big day for you and if they dont like that then youll have some people mad at you wont you oh and congratualtions marrage alright lol :)

Answer 263

Uncontrolled kids are a pain. There is no room for them at a wedding.



If you have a wedding coordinator at the reception , they should be in charge of removing them.

Answer 264

Just say in a nice, sweet way, "Excuse me. Um, would you please try to get your kids a little more calm?" lol. you would need different wording. Then, the second time if it doesn't help say "Excuse me again. Your kids are still out of control. You and your kids will be asked to leave if they don't calm down." =)

Answer 265

Don't they have in your country that kids-coming-to-party-after-the wedding ceremony custom? In Chile, where I live, they do have it; that way, you can relax during the ceremony with no concerns about little children crying, running or fighting with each other.

Answer 266

Is is really necessary to have them there. I can see having children there when they are in the wedding ceremony. Maybe someone in the family like a teenager can watch them.This is YOUR day.

Answer 267

ask that children over age 7 only attend and then have one person that is not their parent talk to them if they are out of line in a loving manner to explain that this is an inportant day in your life and that them behaving in a certan way would meen the world to you and it would be the greatest gift they could give to you

Answer 268

Just polietly announce at the beggening of the wedding that parents need to control their children.

Answer 269

Piece of cake! (That's my solution--hit 'em with a piece of cake!)



No seriously, I don't think children that cannot behave themselves should be invited to a wedding in the first place--the parents should be respectful enough to have someone babysit for them on an occasion like that!

Answer 270

I have a friend who had the same problem. Lucky for her she asked the planner and the parents were told to leave by the wedding party.

Hope it goes well.

Answer 271

Simple answer, have a place for children only, get a clown or some games for them, away from the main event, that will do it, with prices, etc, even a Mexican piñata, use your imagination with a person to entertain them.

Answer 272

When I had my wedding I made sure everyone knew after a certain time kids went home. I also had a bounce house for the kids. I got married on the beach though

THIS IS YOUR DAY!!! If you don't want children there that's OK

IT IS YOUR DAY!!!!!!

Answer 273

hey Melissa :)) best wishes on ur wedding!

now nout the question, u have got so many answers and probably u wont even read mine, but try to make a kind of place for children, where they can enjoy themselves and u may hire some ppl, whod take care of them, what u think bout it? u can hire them from children's centre.. no?

Answer 274

tell them straight out BUT don't be bitchy about. I don't believe in beating around the bush, if you believe in something or want something, ask for it. Or else your wedding may be a disaster, children can be a handful. Let them know you mean business.

Answer 275

if you DO want kids there just say on the invitation: this reception is very important to me. please try to keep kids quiet. that should do it. it wont affend them. it will just make them understand that this is an important day for you. good luck! have a great wedding and congratulations!

Answer 276

Get a moon bounce and set it outside with some parents to man it and ask them to rotate. Then the kids are all outside going nuts and moon bouncing all or the place and they are happy.

Answer 277

Just let them know that daycare is not provide & on your special day you would like to know that everyone & everything including children & adults will be under control.

Answer 278

i agree with making the reception an adult only thing. if that's a problem--try to arrange a few teens or something to take care of all the kids at a separate but nearby facility during the reception.

"Reception following the wedding will be for adults only, we will provide child-care nearby for children under the age of (9,8,??) but please respect our wishes to not bring children under that age to our reception"

Answer 279

I've seen first-hand that some parents think they're watching their kids but they are so flaky that they really don't.

If you are adamant about having kids there, I would have a separate day care area there.

Answer 280

what I've seen done is invite them but say no kids after 9 like a regular bar would

Answer 281

when your haveing your wedding rehearsal just inform the parents that there kids have to be with them at all times to avoid them running around the place thats what my aunt did when she got married and they listened

Answer 282

you could always set something up at your reception for the kids to do.



like set a corner and hire a wedding person to keep them busy so they don't distract everyone else and your dances!

Answer 283

In my many years in the wedding business I have seen children knock over the unity candle set (all the candles were lit) . . take flowers and decorations off the wedding cake before it was cut . . get sick to their stomach at both the church and reception hall . . lock themselves in the bathroom . . take all the favors off the tables . . scream, shout, cry . . and pull electrical plugs (and the list goes on and on).

Answer 284

You should say that if you want to bring you kids to the wedding they have to behave and be good. or they aren't invited to the reception.

Answer 285

just call all the ones yo know with kids who are bad and tell them in a nice suttle kinda way explain to them that you want them to be there but you dont want the kids to stop anything

Answer 286

In our family we would always chip in for a sitter.

Groups of sitters, even!

Call a baby sitting service.

Answer 287

Is it possible to have a room where you can just stuff all of the kids with some sitters?

Answer 288

Okay. Call the people who are coming to your wedding. Something like this: "Hi! I just wanted to say thanks for planning to come to my wedding. It just means so much to me. I just wanted to say thanks because it's really special, you know. How's (e.g. of kids names: Blake and Emily doing? Are they going to be able to make it to the wedding. Oh, good. I'm glad, they are really special, you know. I'm glad I can have kids at my wedding, especially the ones I love. Hey, can I ask you a favor? (they will probably say 'sure') When you bring the kids, can you make sure they don't get too rambunctious or loud, you know? I'm glad they get to come. I'm sure they will do fine!! Alright, take care, love you, too Bye-bye!" That's it. If they act up at your wedding, just have someone like a friend that you know escort them out. I'm sure it will be fine. Congratulations!!

Answer 289

Request that the Children be left at home for the reception. It will be an adult only evening. There will be no exceptions.

Answer 290

many friends of mine chose this as their answer. the offered a nursery at the wedding and the reception. good news childeren out of the way no one gets offended... bad news this will cost you extra to pay someone to sit with

childeren.

Answer 291

On your invitations say 'supervised and well behaved children are warmly welcomed to our wedding reception'

It might not make much difference, but it will make parents think!

Answer 292

I think you should just let everyone know that they can allowe their children to come as long as they keep them in control and polite.

Answer 293

We written in our cards in Qatar That's Not allowed to bring there children and when there is any privet invite we said to them to keep the children away because of the wedding and they care just be polite ..

Answer 294

well i'm sure you plan on playing spin the bottle just tell the out of control little punks to stay home tea the house up geezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,then geezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz one more time!

Answer 295

Make it an adult only reception or ask them to leave if they can't control there kids.

Answer 296

?This is a formal event, feel free to bring family, but please act accordingly"



or something to that effect...

this is a hard one... you could try word of mouth message about the kids too, or perhaps hire a on site babysitter to keep an eye on the toddlers and have her make them behave?

Answer 297

You could hire a babysitter and have the children in a separate area with special child-friendly games and activities.

Answer 298

well my cousin is having a wedding and his fiance doesn't want kidds at the reception but at the wedding they can come but tey can't be at the reception but if you don'y want kids at your wedding i don't know why they are getting mad at you because it is your wedding it is your day you should want what you want good luck and i hope that you make up your decisons

Answer 299

There is nothing wrong or improper with a kid-free wedding.



Just do it.

Answer 300

Don't invite the kids.

Answer 301

Etiquette for kids at reception is



You either have adults only and parents make their own arrangements( which you have said no too)!



That if kids are invited you make arrangements for a child-care room at the site complete with children's food, games, toys, movies and child care.

You send invitations in the names of the children only, inviting them to a children's party that takes place at the same time as the reception!



Its a nice way of having the people with kids there but as its a very long day for a kid for them to let off steam without running all other the dance floor!

Answer 302

I just randomly saw your question,

how about have a "children's table" or so,

and rent one babysitter that is nice and good with children.

She can watch them for you,and keep them in check.

(Of course she/he wanna get paid,but just because it's a wedding doesn't mean that it has to break the bank,right!

Remember,you are the supervisor and the one to hire her/him.

Good Luck:)

Answer 303

If it was my wedding and there was going to be kids (I know how it is.. my family is just like that!!) and I knew they were going to be little sh*ts...



I'd be straight up with them...

"Control your kid... Cuz.. i'm gonna be a pissed bride.." lol

Something along those lines...

OR, if you really would like polite to them...



Just be like.... "Hey, I'm not trying to be rude, but can you get your kids real quick? "



To be honest- I'm not so sure to what you could say..

If it was me.. I'd be like.. HEY! haha

Answer 304

wow why is that suppose to offend them? thats exactley what there suppose to do. everyone is such sissys these days who cares if theyre "feelings get hurt" (which they have no reason to be hurt) just tell em straight up please control your kids or you will be asked to leave. and if they dont control them, then politley escort theyre sorry b*tch asses out da door. der you go problem solved. take control and be assertive.

Answer 305

Don't invite them...or just invite them to an earlier part or something. Like not kids after 9.00 pm or something.

Answer 306

Just ask your maid to control the kids.Thts the best way.

Answer 307

Arrange a baby sitter and keep them away from the ceremony.

Answer 308

Easy solution: Adults only. If they don't like it, they don't have to come. Problem solved.

Answer 309

Idk..



But if your dealin with the kids...

Tell them that they get cake and a party if they sit and be good during the Wedding...

It worked with my sisterz son and his cuzzin at her wedding

Answer 310

say-

This is my special day & I really want to enjoy a beautiful wedding and cerimony. [lie on this part] I dont recall your kids mis behaving at weddings but jst incase please make sure to keep the kids quiet and behaved under your watchful eye. thankss=]

Answer 311

"No children please" - on your invitation - Your family should find sitters for the kids. A wedding is a grown up event - not for kids. ITS YOUR BIG DAY!!!. You shouldn't have to be worrying about kids running amuk!!

Answer 312

get a leash for the kids that's what my mom did for me at events and give them coloring books and activities to do while the ceremony is going on

Answer 313

Select someone, preferably a very assertive person, to be on watch. Then you won't have to feel like the bad guy.

Answer 314

well mabey if it's not to much trouble get a few teens to help watch the kids and pay them later ... maybe you can have a spot where the kids can have fun to themselves

Answer 315

you can set up a play room nearby and hire a few teenagers, (or maybe a young adult guest?) for real cheap to watch them. So you and their parents dont have to worry

Answer 316

do you have kids? Because if you did you would realize just how difficult it is to keep them on a chair the whole time lighten up.

Answer 317

well don't invite the kids to the ceremony only the meal and get baby sitters to be their with them!!!

Answer 318

Hi, In my country we write in invitation cards this sentence:"May children cellebrate another day another place"so parents know that they shouldn't bring their children at all. It might be useful for you too. Any way I wish you the happiest marriage. Good luck

Answer 319

it is not improper to say that a nursery will be provided. you can also have your wedding director encourage children to be left in the nursery. she can also be in charge of asking them to leave

Answer 320

Just ask the parents firmly but politely to please keep their kids under control. Since you are the bride and it is your wedding.....but if they don't listen, then don't stress.....in other words it will all blow over!

Answer 321

you could say adults only or provide a babysitter

also not invite them to the part they usally act up at.

no easy way out

Answer 322

i would hire a sitter for the event and pay for it. i know its inconvenient and not the best idea but if you want them there without the kids you may have to compromise.

Answer 323

I'm having kids at my wedding but I am limiting the kids to our nieces and nephews. I'm planning on purchasing coloring books to keep the kids busy. I also have a link to a good article on the knot about kid-friendly things you can do.



Good luck.

Answer 324

hire some tall scary guy to walk around and scare the kids when they behave bad.



P.S. I'm 12 years old, would you consider 12-year-olds the unruly, impertinent kids?



BARACK OBAMA 2008!

Answer 325

why worry over your manners, just tell them how you feel....it is after all your wedding and your memories. if someone gets mad so what. or you really fear what will happen then spend a little extra to get someone to entertain the children.Take care of you!

Answer 326

you just have to say it straight up to them to control their kids it's your wedding...it's the day your going to remember .tell them that you want it to go perfect and that you dont want their kids to kinda mess it up.

Answer 327

Have a separate area (supervised) with activities for the little monsters

Answer 328

Good question! That is a tuff one! Can you leave it up to your mom? I hope you have a great time at your wedding.

Answer 329

Tell them very calmly and politely that they must keep them in line for the sake of the rest of the people who did not forget to use a condom. :)

Answer 330

When you permit children to come to your wedding and reception you have to accept their behavior . . good, bad or out of control.



I agree it is up the the children's parents BUT if those parents are socializing and drinking and dancing they really don't care, it's not upsetting them, it's just upsetting you.



In my many years in the wedding business I have seen children knock over the unity candle set (all the candles were lit) . . take flowers and decorations off the wedding cake before it was cut . . get sick to their stomach at both the church and reception hall . . lock themselves in the bathroom . . take all the favors off the tables . . scream, shout, cry . . and pull electrical plugs (and the list goes on and on).



You can ask your DJ to make an announcement asking the parents to control their children but it probably won't last long.



There is only one way to have the type of enjoyable reception that you would like to have . . and that is to write "Adult Only Reception" on your invitations.



Good luck!



Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 331

Let the kids be who they are I'm a kid

Answer 332

so many people here have given you advice, so there is no need for mine. frankly, i wouldn't know what to do. what a shame people don't control their children, better yet teach them proper etiquette.

congratulations on your wedding

Answer 333

in ur wedding invitations put on there we do not allow kids lol there problem solved

Answer 334

add the statement to your invitation, then say J/K at the end. They'll get the hint. Good luck!

Answer 335

Tell them this is the biggest day of your llife and dont mess it up in a kind voice

Answer 336

How about something like "Mr. and Mrs. Such and Such and their well behaved children invited to..." A somewhat subtle hint?

Answer 337

Tell them that free condoms will be given to kids who are restless.

Answer 338

Ask them to kindly control their children or please leave. It's your wedding and you shouldn't be worrying about whether some kid is going to spill juice on the floor.

Answer 339

uhhhhhhhhhh IDK?? srry =D IM pretty sure sum1 will answer ur question =D

Answer 340

have the DJ do it! Tell him to announce that EVERYONE needs to be off the floor for the special dances, ESPECIALLY LITTLE ONES....we don't want them squished or to RUIN PICTURES....make him the bad guy!

Answer 341

i do tend to agree with the sitter thing, but why should the bride have to pay for it? if you cant controll your kids, what makes you think someone else can/or make someone else deal with them? i dont think the bride should pay for it

Answer 342

set up a seperate place for kids. put a stern baby sitter with them the whole time. this way, you AND the parents can relax.

Answer 343

You will offend your relatives and friends with children. I'm offended and I don't even know you.

Answer 344

u can say recaption for childern is in another room or floor . its just for more pleasure for kids and adult

Answer 345

Simply don't.

Let those kids be as free as they should be as long as they are not really disrupting the wedding activities.

Answer 346

send a note in invitations telling guests you know the ye will honor your special day (a once in a life time event) by everyone being on their best behavior KIDS TOO PLEASE

Answer 347

Kids shouldn't be invited.

Answer 348

Tell them that it is 13+ (teens are more mature) and give them the adress of a local childcare center

Answer 349

Let kids be kids .............thats what weddings are for.........evrybody has fun........automatically the kids too run round n round till they tire off hopefully one of them has a fall too .a minor one...........you are fussing too much

Answer 350

HATS OFF TO LADYSOSUREONE SHE HIT THE HAMMER ON THE HEAD ~~~YES IT IS YOUR SPECIAL DAY BUT JUST REMEMBER SOMEDAY YOU WILL HAVE A CHILD HOW HOW I ASK WOULD YOU FEEL UPON THE RECEIVING END ~NOW IT IS EASY FOR YOU TO ANSWER JUST YOU WAIT YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND CINDERELLA~~~~~~

Answer 351

Just say nicely too the kids to BEHAVE!

Answer 352

i don't know if someone told me that i'll take it to da heart



i don't know whats the big deal is don't u want the kids to have fun to

Answer 353

set aside a play area for the kids?

Answer 354

tell them strait up, its your day! and you do not want any kid stuff going on on your parade, keep them under control and maybe they will get up set and not go !! congrats on the wedding tho

Answer 355

you can't --- i you can't stand it than make it an "adult" wedding and ask it to be passed around for parents to arrange for a sitter that night... they might like the idea of a night out without the kids anyway

at my wedding I was planning to ask a few younger cousins to kind of "babysit" and have a kid area and stuff.... but it never happend because I had too much to do. It all worked out great though- parents know how kids are and everyone kept their kids under control and many of the younger ones were the life of the party! watching a 4 year old dance is SO FRICKIN cute! Haha! All the little kids at my wedding ended up being much appreciated and so much fun! I think you are overthinking it! Parent's will control their kids, they know it is your big day.



Miss R--- what you are saying you plan to do is what I wanted to do, people that I talked to all thought it sounded like a good idea. I had a venue for it- but in the end we changed and then I would have had to create a better place for it... but like I said- it ended up great. First off half the people with kids never even brought them, and like I said- the kids were great!

Answer 356

You could get someone to send them a link to this question.

Answer 357

Include in the invitation this one detail..



Drinks will be served but friends and family, please be moderate with your alcohol so that YOU can attend to YOUR kids...See you soon!

Answer 358

just say control you kids or don't come. it is your big day. if they can't control their kids, just point em to the door.

Answer 359

it is perfectly acceptible to say that well-behaved children will be welcome at the reception, but if your little ones are easily stressed, please don't tax them with such a long day. We will be perfectly happy to visit with family and friends another day where kids can be themselves.

Answer 360

You will understand after you have kids of your own. Right not they're just pesky monsters to you, but once you have your own family, your views will change drastically.

Answer 361

i don't envy you, parents get their backs if you mention their kids are being bratty. having said that kids generally act up if they are bored so if you are having children at the reception then spend an extra few dollars at the dollar store and buy a bunch of coloring books and crayons, puzzles, story books, that type of thing. keeps the kids busy and hopefully under control. [don't buy markers!]

perhaps you could discreetly appoint a couple of close friends to corral the kids if they are getting out of hand and take them back to their parent's tables.

its a difficult issue because as the parents have a few drinks and relax they are more apt to allow the kids to run amok! good luck and happy wedding.

Answer 362

Two words: ADULTS ONLY!



Hope your wedding goes smoothly either way.

Answer 363

what are you BRIDEZILLA? Get over it, it will only last 15 minutes anyway......



KIDS are KIDS...you will find out when you have some of your own if you ever do.....

Answer 364

lol have the wedding planner do it

definately dont do it in the invitation haha

Answer 365

just say plz if u have kids keep them under control don't want a noise wedding with kids runing in the middle of the floor!!! thanks alot!!! see ya there!! =)

Answer 366

Tell them when they arrive, that either they'll have to control their kids or you will.





Keep a sturdy leather belt nearby.

Answer 367

have the kids join in on the toast to ur wedding. they have a little champagne and they will go to bed

Answer 368

Tell them "kids are welcome - but please, you must keep them under control."



Or you could invite adults only OR appoint someone to watch the children while the adults enjoy the wedding.

Answer 369

Make it a no kid wedding. My Niece did and it was wonderful!!

Answer 370

HEY MY NAME IS JASMINE AND I CAN HELP YOU OUT FOR UR WEDDING ABOUT THE KIDS .... U SHOULD PUT UP A SIGN SAYING NO RUNNING OR HORSEPLAYING

Answer 371

get a nursery room for all edges in the reception

Answer 372

kids area? or just simply tell them its your day and you would like to kids to behave or they will have to leave



your aloud to go a little bridezilla, its fine, all brides do

Answer 373

Who's the lucky guy? You sound like a real *****.

Answer 374

it's unbeliveable how parents cannot control their kids these days... tell them kindly to find a babysitter

Answer 375

Tell the kids if they don't behave satan will take them down to hell!

Answer 376

Say this:



"Unattended children will be given an ESPRESSO and a free PUPPY"

Answer 377

you hire a set of nanny's and designate a childrens area

Answer 378

Just tie them both in the church main door.

Answer 379

Don't. Just stomp the little Sh%ts into submission yourself.

Answer 380

maybe you can say to behave and you can get a toy or candy.just make it seem serious that you really want them to behave

Answer 381

I kicked their whole family out of my reception

Answer 382

Tell them if they dont they will be asked to leave!

Answer 383

Your only options here are to either have adults only, or higher a babysitter and dump them in another room. Telling people how to parent tends to peave them off. And telling people what to do or threaten to force them to leave, that's going to peave off everyone. They are your guests, you need to accommodate them to the best of your ability.

Answer 384

uh, okay maybe they DONT want their kiddies to come, but yeah they most definitely should be controlling them.

Answer 385

have a kid free wedding. no kids allowed.

Answer 386

You should just tell them kindly and make sure you are very polite about it.

Answer 387

if they wont yell at their brats, then do it for them, even if its the middle of your vows. its your special day, and u dont have to put up with that crap!

Answer 388

you go up to them, and you tell them to control their kids

Answer 389

I would ask the reception venue if you could have a quiet room for the children to be looked after by a sitter.

Then all you have to do is hire a sitter for the night, children can come to the ceremony with their parents. after which they will be entertained and out of the way of trouble while you all enjoy the reception.

Answer 390

we didn't have any children at our wedding. I think your family is being pig headed... But here is a solution. Hire some professional childcare providers to take care of the kids at the reception site (in another room). That way you can have the wedding that you want, and the parents with small children can be assured their kids are safe, and having fun. Good Luck.

Answer 391

send invitations for adults ONLY

Answer 392

u can write it on the invitation "kids can have good night sleep"or u can say please keep your kids under control

Answer 393

Here are some tips from the experts:



-Hire a babysitter - most hotels have a baby sitting service or a kids club and you could probably pay an extra fee to have them entertain and supervise the little ones during your reception fiesta.

-Seat children together at a special “kids table”- cover the tables with butchers paper and throw crayons in the middle.

-Give each child an activity pack including games and puzzles, bubbles, crayons, colouring books

-Consider hiring magic makers, clowns or puppet shows

-Serve a kids meal consisting of chicken mcnuggets, pizza’s, cheesy potato’s, pasta, fish fingers etc.

-Give children jobs at the reception ie. getting messages in the Guest Book, passing around favors, handing out disposable camera’s,

-Have a special cinema corner set up for young ones, with comfy pillows, popcorn and juice showing tiny-tot favourites: Finding Nemo, Shrek, The Lion King etc.

Answer 394

you could always tell the priest to say something

Answer 395

"Either keep your kids under control, or you gotta go."



Sounds nice to me....

Answer 396

I like Val's idea of having a DJ make a slight announcement before a key dance/ceremony. I set up a table to one side with coloring books on it for the kids at my wedding (although our friends seemed to like it a lot too). Also just providing some simple toys or games out of the way can work wonders for keeping the kids entertained.

Answer 397

it is difficult to tell as it does not look nice.

Answer 398

don't invite them, even if you think you want them to be there?



i wouldn't.

Answer 399

"excuse me. control your kids. it's my special day. thank you."

Answer 400

tell them if they can't behave than they cant come

Answer 401

i seen a sign

ALL UNSUPERVISED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN LOTS OF CANDY AND A FREE PUPPY

Answer 402

say "control your kids"

Answer 403

say you might rent a wrestling ring for the reception

EDIT

I said "SAY", not "DO", but that's up to YOU.

Answer 404

just say it as it is-

"would you please control your kids in my wedding?" or something...

good luck btw!!

= D

Answer 405

Tell them not to bring them!Duh!!!

Answer 406

just like that ! if they need that enfo.. that is your day so you do what you feel is nessasary

Answer 407

in the invitation, the spot where you tell them that they can bring x amount of guests, tell them that "mature children" are welcome. :D

Answer 408

jus tell dam gal.

Answer 409

have them read your question, voicing your concern.

Answer 410

Hire a babysitter. Yes, it will cost you extra money, but it WILL be worth it. You can usually put them in an extra room (like your dressing room that you won't be using anymore) and give them activities to do.



Congrats :)

Answer 411

make it for adults only!

Answer 412

be respectful and ask them.

Answer 413

If worse comes to worst why don't you hire a sitter?



Hire a babysitter or a nanny and sit them at the kids table to keep the little brats happy and interested.



A wedding is quite boring for kids as they aren't the ones in the limelight. If the parents won't take care of the kids them show them how it should be done!



If your funding can't cater for an extra head at the wedding and the sanity saving nanny then have an adult only reception

Answer 414

just tell them nicely you WILL get results!!!!!!

Answer 415

i think you should just send out an invatation and on yhe invatation say please watch your childre.

Answer 416

just say it

Answer 417

Smack them when they get to rowdy.

Answer 418

i just told mine its a nice place and if anything thing gets broke there ill have to pay for the damage . a few relatives said why don't you just have it somewhere else .i said no they will have to control there kids . i don't think that's too much to ask. I'm also planning on having something for the kids to do too.

Answer 419

TRY THIS ........................YOU ARE INVITED TO MY WEDDING NO CHILDREN ALLOWED THANK YOU PLEASE RSVP. I think that will do it

Answer 420

BE DIRECT AND VERY PERSISTENT.

Answer 421

As much as you don't want to hear this, have an adults only reception.



You seem to understand and identify your family member that have problems with discplining their kids. As much as you want the adults there, you have to pick one or the other.



With the adults come the noisy kids, with no kids maybe some adults will not come.



In all honesty, there is no nice way to tell people how to parent their kids. Someone is going to take it too personally.



Which is why I strongly reccomend the adults only reception.



As much as you think people will not come (without their kids), most will come.



It's quite common practice for parents to get a sitter for weddings and such.

Answer 422

I'd say leave the rug rats home, but since you want them there. :-) Be firm with the parents. Remind them this is your day at you want to enjoy it. You could, also, have a separate kids section. Sort of a min-day care with things for the kids to do.

Answer 423

if you want to make your wedding so solemn better not to have flower girls and bearer boys let your bride's maid and groomsmen be the bearer of your rings, coins, etc...dat is for all adults nly wedding :)

Answer 424

seperate the kids from adults and then everything will be smooth

Answer 425

Children over such-and-such age welcome, or adults-only reception.