How to answer the "what would you like for your wedding gift" question?

Question

In NY where I live, it is pretty much the accepted norm to give money at weddings so most of our guests haven't asked us anything in regards to gifts because I'm guessing they are planning to give money. One of my coworkers (I've only invited 2 out of a 10 person department) is Korean and he just asked me what I want for a wedding gift. I'm not sure if it is because of his culture that he really wants to give a gift, as opposed to money? We've lived together for 2.5 years and got everything we need for the house at the shower, there really isn't anything I can think of that I'd like as a present.

I would also feel uncomfortable telling him a specific item, because I don't know if he'd find the item to be too cheap, too expensive, etc. And then he probably wouldn't buy whatever I told him to buy because it wouldn't be a surprise.

How to handle this? Should I just say "we're not registering" or "we don't have a preference" and leave him up to figuring out his gift on his own?

Thanks!

Answer 1

i agree, i'd just tell him you don't really need anything, but you love surprises, he will no doubt get you money. have a nice wedding









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Answer 2

I have gotten this question too. The first time it was kind of awkward. It was an aunt on my fiancé's side, and I was just meeting her for the first time, since she lives across the country. She was at our house and she looked around and said "So you'll have to let us know what you need!" (We've lived together for about 8 years, and though many things are hand-me-downs, we do technically have everything that we need.) I really didn't know what to say, since it was the first time I'd been asked, and I didn't know what would be an appropriate answer. At the time, we hadn't decided if we were registering or not yet, so I coudn't tell her about a registry. I forget exactly how I replied, but I think I just said something like "Yes, we'll have to think about it..." Probably sounded really dumb at the time!! Oh well... I think she was expecting a detailed answer right on the spot, which was making me uncomfortable!! The next time we were asked, my fiancé jokingly replied "Oh, we'll give you the address of the house we'd like!!" It is his personality to make jokes like that, (we already have a house) and the person thought it was funny, so it didn't backfire or anything. Then he followed up more seriously by telling her where we were registered. I agree, if you really do want things from the registry, I would tell them which store you've chosen, but it is nice to add in the part about gifts not being necessary, just having them spend the day with you is terrific! :)

Answer 3

It's getting more and more common to give monetary gifts here in the UK, as more and more couples co-habit and have most things they need.



However, I am going to prepare a 'things we'd like' list anyway, for those who may not want to give money as a gift, as not everyone likes this idea.



Why not ask for a nice photoframe for a picture of the day, or something like that?



It's hard to buy gifts for people you don't know well, so I'd suggest giving him some guidance if possible. If nothing specific, maybe 'We really like items from (blank) or the (blank) range' etc.

Answer 4

Tell him you got everything you registered for at the shower, but you could really still use some _____________________ (fill in the blank). Make is something generic, like picture frames, photo albums, blankets, towels, house plants, or whatever.



Or, you might want to ask him what type of gifts are traditionally given at a Korean wedding. It might be neat for him to give you something that represents his culture.

Answer 5

I've had friends, family and co-workers confront me about this and I tell them, "We'd prefer something off the registry or it's whatever you deem fit to give us but by all means you do not have to give us anything; we just want to have you there celebrating with us" delivered with sincerity and a smile, of course. In your case, just explain that you have everything you need and it's up to them whether or not they wish to get you two anything. Leave it up to the guest to decide. Good luck!!

Answer 6

I know it feels uncomfortable, but he obviously wants to be steered in some direction.

This happened to me, too - we hadn't registered. For one co-worker who asked this , I just said bedsheets (you can always use more) - and gave the size of the bed. Then they could still buy in their price range.

Answer 7

yes tell him you're not registered anywhere and you don't need any household items. he can ask around and find out from others about the gift etiquette. he'll probably end up bringing cash for you.

Answer 8

Just tell him gifts are not necessary and having him there is gift enough.



Good luck!

Answer 9

Maybe suggest a donation to a favorite charity instead.



"We aren't planning on registering since we are blessed with everything we need, but the fill in the blank charity has a special meaning to us, if you would like to give a gift please consider donating to them."

Answer 10

I think that it is odd for people to ask that question. If they ask, they must really want to know. So, if it is money that you want, I would say be honest and tell him that.

Answer 11

Explain to him that it's the 'thought that counts'.

Answer 12

How about:

You being at our wedding is present enough but I love surprises!



:)



best wishes............

Answer 13

just tell him that anything would be find and that you appreciate him.