Is it appropriate to send wedding announcements to the people you arent able to invite?

Question

I am having a wedding, however there are only a limited number of people that can come. Is it OK to send a wedding announcement instead of an invitation to the people we aren't able to invite?

Answer 1

yes 100%

Answer 2

I always thought that the Wedding announcement was also the invitation. I received a Wedding announcement last week, but it also meant that I was invited to the wedding along with an invitation to the reception. Some people might get the wrong ideal if you send them just a Wedding announcement. They may think they are invited and show up any ways.

If you have a reception after wards and do not put an invitation in the Wedding announcement, then they will know that they are not invited to the reception. Good luck.

Answer 3

No, it isn't. By sending an announcement, these people will think they will be invited. When they find out that they are not, in fact, invited to the wedding, it will appear as though the announcements were sent for gift-giving purposes. It is both rude and tacky...don't do it.



You can, however, send out 'we just got married' announcements after the wedding. A lot of people do that with their Christmas cards, for example.

Answer 4

This is a really tough one. All the etiquette books fight over this one all the time. Basically I'm compiled for you the differences they say.



Emily Post-No 100% no. Thats like saying Please send a gift but I really don't want you to actually attend



Ann Landers/Dear Abby-No its rude



Miss Manners-Terribly rude



Many other books (Including Wedding Planning the Easy Way and The Everything Wedding Book) say that the difference between invitations and announcements is that invitations are sent prior and announcements should be sent after the wedding (as in you should probably mail them a day or 2 before the wedding so that it will arrive on the day of or the day after). and that it is perfectly ok but it should be worded in such a way to explain:



This is the annoucement of the wedding of Sarah and Andrew

who were married in a private ceremony with the immediate family on September 19, 2006.



The couple is residing at 709 Springfield Rd.



Most books and manners experts (well that felt it was appropriate to annouce) tend to agree that you need to specify Why they weren't invited (it was a small, private ceremony--even if you did invite 40-50 people). And to include a new residence address.



I know that personally I'd like to know if my sisters friend got married--even though there is no reason I should be invited. But as I send out christmas cards, new names and new addresses are very helpful with that process.



Though to appease the many experts that say it is rude to solicit gifts like that I would place at the bottom

"In lieu of gifts, please make a donation in the couples name to St Jude's Children's Hospital or the Dr. Phil Foundation"



Pick 2 well known charities that mean something to you (I live in a military town so they pick USO; a couple of my friends suggested the SPCA in NYC) That way people don't look at the annoucement as a plea for gifts and money and you help out a charity at the same time.



So I know this is long and I play devil's advocate for both sides but the short of it is--yes many people consider it rude (especially if you are southern) but since so many couples elope or have destination weddings but come back for a reception, I dont see why it is not perfectly acceptable to inform people of the change in status. Though just be careful if you chose not to have the "In lieu of gifts" line, that it might seem greedy. But yes If I were having a small wedding, I would send out annoucements to everyone. But really only if you have a small wedding.



I hope this helps! Good luck. and I'm sure everything will be beautiful.

Answer 5

Yes, it is perfectly appropriate. But you should send the wedding announcement out after you've actually been married, especially so you won't seem like you're trying to get wedding gifts from people you haven't invited to the wedding. Also, it can be a combined wedding/moved announcement - if you are moving to a new home with your spouse, it can include your new address & phone # as well -- something like, "Hey, we're finally married and here's our new addres..."

Answer 6

Absolutely yes. My sister's second wedding (almost 15 years ago) was a private affair, and to this day there are some relatives who think that she and her husband are just shacking up and never got married. That sucks for everyone involved! No one takes their relationship seriously, an if she were to correct them now, 15 years later, I'm sure they would find it insulting that they never knew.



Announcements should not be sent before the wedding. This does get confusing, people will call you and that'll guilt you into telling them that they can come after all. You should have the city, landmark if applicable, but not address or time of day. They should have the date in case anyone wants to make note of your anniversary.



I sent announcements in both English and Spanish to several states, the UK, and Mexico. The majority were to people who wouldn't be able to come to our wedding, or wouldn't have wanted to enough to take time off work. (We got married on the anniversary of the day we first met, it was a Thursday.) I included a business card I made on those perforated run-through-your-printer cards with our new addresses, our cell phone numbers, and email addresses. I also included a wallet-sized picture of the wedding. (This was fairly inexpensive, we ordered it on Yahoo pictures. The picture was taken by my sister and not copyrighted.)



I got nothing but positive feedback about it, and no one bought us presents that hadn't already. (We got a few cards, I think.)

Answer 7

Yes, each has it's purpose.

Invitations go to people invited.

Announcements go to those you want to let know you got married. They are sent out the day of the wedding. Most times announcements don't expect a gift.

Answer 8

Yes, it is appropriate to send wedding announcements to family members and friends you were not able to invite to the wedding. Wedding announcements are sent immediately after your wedding ceremony (i.e., the next day) announcing your marriage. Wedding announcements should include the date and location where you were married. There will always be at least one person not happy that they were not invited, but you cannot please everyone.

Answer 9

Yeah, it would probably be ok but i'd also put in a note saying sorry that you couldn't invite them but you are only having a small affair, just so they know that they definately can't come!! You don't want people receiving the announcements and turning up to the wedding!!

Answer 10

Yes. The announcements should go out the day of your wedding and should be in the past tense...



Do not send them out beforehand because thay might think that they are getting an invite.

Answer 11

Absolutely!! That's what the announcements are for!! Think about it...you wouldn't send announcements to folks you would invite...they'll be there to see it! :-) Just remember that you need to wait until AFTER the ceremony to send the announcements. It's a big no-no to send them before. Usually the mother of the bride is the one who's responsible for mailing them out. After the ceremony/reception, she can stop by the post office on her way home and drop them off. Congratulations!!

Answer 12

I would say...write a quick note and say "we had a small private wedding" and we wanted you to know and wish us luck....maybe have a party after the fact and invite them and ONLY tell them after the wedding.



I help a girl pick out her dress and she turned around and said Oh, and you can't come...so try to only involve people in those aspect of your wedding that you are inviting. Good Luck

Answer 13

When do you plan on getting married?



A suggestion - when the holidays come around, send a wedding picture as a greeting card to everyone.

Answer 14

Nope if some did that to me i would throw their wedding announcement in the bin!!!

Thats like saying we are having a party and your not invited.

Answer 15

Sounds a little tacky to me....like I cant invite you to the wedding but we are married (or getting married) and you can send a gift.

Answer 16

I think so, as long as it is clearly not an invitation and you should definatly do it after the wedding and maybe include a picture.

Answer 17

No, because its confusing. If you really want to tell them, Send an email to inform your acquintanences that wedding pictures will be available on a certain link.

Answer 18

It's OK but that's why you put it in the paper. As far as inviting people, 15 percent of the people you invite won't show.

Answer 19

Yes absolutely, as long as you are doing it because you want to share in your joy and not to get more gifts. They should be sent after the wedding takes place so as not to confuse anyone.

Answer 20

If you word it carefully, maybe explaining why you couldn't invite. them, yes. I'm a Brady too, btw. Wonder if we're related?



Congratulations. Hope you have a good day.

Answer 21

Yes, but they would go out after your wedding.

Answer 22

Yes. It's better than ignoring them completely. At least they'll realize they're still your friends and you were thoughtful enough to mail them an announcement. It would be rude to do otherwise.

Answer 23

Yes of course to announce that you are going to be married.

Answer 24

yes, but make sure you put the wedding location some place other than where it actually is. You don't won't all those freeloaders actually showing up at your wedding.

Answer 25

I wouldn't THey might then expect to be invited. I would just put it in the paper.

Answer 26

I would say no it seems kinda rude if they can't even come to your wedding.

Answer 27

i think they shld be inform. and mayb explain to them why you are unable to invite them. like you just want a small function with family and relatives.

anyway, congratz to U :)

Answer 28

yes you can send out announcements.

Answer 29

its 100% ok. even though they cant come atleast they can share the joy with you just knowing your getting married. its better to tell them before than afterwards

Answer 30

If they are close family or friends. Just to let them know you are getting married.

Answer 31

I believe you do that after the fact, not beforehand.

Answer 32

my cousin got married and didn't tell me until months after. i think it was rude of her not to tell me.

Answer 33

I don't think so. I'd be upset that I couldn't go.

Answer 34

No, what if they just show up?

Answer 35

IMO, it is quite okay.

Answer 36

no

Answer 37

yes100%