wedding presents drama?

Question

i get married in 11wks and we already live together and have all that we need( and then some more) so for our wedding gifts we are doing a wishing well in which all money that we get gives us a bit of a honeymoon as we aren't having one due to the cost of the wedding but i am getting a lot of nasty comments on it and people are saying they won't do it and wil give a gift instead whether we want one or not we have told them if they don't wish to contribute to the wishing well then please bring nothing just themselves and a good time!! how to deal with this please help

Answer 1

The more people do wishing wells, the less 'shocking' it will become. You are correct that times have changed and many couples no longer need 'everything'. I always give money in a card. I call it a 'Green Gift', environmentally friendly because there is very little wasted packaging and the green money ALWAYS gets recycled, lol!



Congratulations and hope you are feeling well soon

Answer 2

A gift is a gift. It is the choice of the person giving it to you as to what they want to give. You have already done all you can do. If people choose to buy you a gift for your wedding it's because they have something special in mind that they want to give you. It may be rude for them to make nasty comments about it, but it's also rude to not graciously accept a gift, whether it be money or an engraved platter that you will probably never use and can't return.



Going forward, if people ask where you are registered, simply say "we really have everything be need, so we didn't register anywhere" and let it go. It's then up to them to interpret whether they want to buy you a gift or drop a check in the wishing well. If they press the issue, then go ahead and tell them you're "saving" for a nice honeymoon at some point and hopefully they will take the hint.

Answer 3

While you may feel times have changed, please accept that some people are old fashioned and are going to take offense at a wishing well. And it is these people who are offended that will insist upon buying you "something" to make their offense a bother for you (returns, exchanges, or sticking you with some ugly item that doesn't suit your decor).



While I think you are handling it well ("if you don't wish to contributed to the wishing well then please bring nothing just themselves and a good time") - - just be aware that some people will try to prove a point that they feel wishing wells are rude (I'm not saying they are, but that some people feel they are).



I know that some of my relatives are the type that want to give me an item that I will keep and treasure as a reminder of them being at my wedding. My Aunts are notorious for giving vases. Do I really have a need for a vase? No. But if I know they are going to do that, I'd rather pick one out that I find attractive and put it on a registry.

Answer 4

Bad you. You took all the fun of shopping away from the women, and they spoke out!

There is no planning out the wishing well money, thats just presumptive.

You would of done well to get a gift registry, and that option would help them decide on gifts, like most people do these days.

The dollar dance, and the wishing well, gifts of money from family are all traditions, but are in no means the money for the honeymoon. The honeymoos is either a gift from a parent, OR you two were suppose to save up for that trip and take it when you saved enough. There could be not one person putting in a dollar, and you have tried to force the issue, and now are, the bad bride.

Mail appologies of embarrassment, to these friends and family who were good enough to be invited to your day. They are owed one. The note can be short and to the point. Its been brought to my attention, that my directness in gift selection for my wedding was out of line, and I appologize, it was not meant that way, Love, you.

Answer 5

Sorry, you created the drama yourself. Its a no no to ask for money for a wedding present. I can only imagine how offended the members of my family would be if someone did that.



Surely, there are things you need for your home. I always need something. Register for tools, cleaning products or other household necessities at someplace like Target. Set up a honeymoon registry to help pay for honeymoon expenses. Google honeymoon regitry and set one up. And please apologize to those guests you have offeded.

Answer 6

It's rude to ask people to give you money. It may be what you want, but it's still rude. So your best bet is to accept the gifts and try to return what you can for money or store credit. It's nice that you suggest they bring themselves and a good time if they don't wish to contribute to your wishing well so they know you still want them there. Just don't criticize or make anyone feel bad if they don't give to your honeymoon fund.

Answer 7

just accept all or any gifts you get then put it on e bay or a yard sale or something might even know where they got it and return it . then any single way you still get some money that is why i love portugese people and there weddings you never have to ask them for money for a wedding that is the gift you always get. from everyone and even durring your wedding they pin money on the groom and bride who ever has the most money will be known as the head of the family nomraly the woman has more money

Answer 8

Why not as an alternative ask people to buy gifts for the impoverished in the third world. They could, for instance, buy chickens for a family in Somalia. Soemthing altruistic like this might appeal to people who don't like to give cash to newly weds! All the best, anyway and if people DO end up giving you a carefully chosen gift, say thanks!!

Answer 9

A gift comes from the giver to the givee.



You have absolutely no right to dictate what someone will or won't give you.



All you can do is express your preference and then donate any non-cash gifts you get to charity (AFTER you send a very nice note on how much you love it).

Answer 10

Your Bad, Tootsie.....you NEVER ask for cash or imply that the guest give you cash....the gift is optional anyway and totally up to the guest IF they give one, what they choose to give.......wow.......

...and FYI the hubby pays for the honeymoon, NOT the wedding guests, double wow......

Answer 11

Well then those people are being very selfish. I would just return all the gifts you get and get the money from it.

Answer 12

Wow... you instruct your guests on what gift to give you and you're suprised they're upset about it?!? Shocking.