I've been invited to one of my (so called) best friends hen party but not the wedding. Do I go to the hen party?

Question

My (so called) friend invited me along to her hen party. We've been friends a good few years and having lost touch for a few months we started meeting up again. However recently she hasn't been replying when I message her. We were supposed to meet up a few weeks ago and the day we were supposed to be meeting up I messaged her and got no reply.
Her hen party is in a few weeks time, and I'm supposed to be staying at her mothers house (her mother and I have been messaging each other back and fourth about ideas for the hen party) but I haven't mentioned to her mother how her daughter has been ignoring me as of late. I realise this sounds like jealousy but I do find it annoying when she organises to meet and the day of the meeting she doesn't message me back, but however I notice she is messaging other people over social media.
I have now found out that she has sent out her wedding invitations- of which I did not receive. So now I am unsure if I should or should not go to the hen party. Would love to know what you think.

Answer 1

All I can tell you is what I would do.

I would explain to her mother that you feel that your friendship with her daughter has run its course and her daughter must not know how to tell you so in the interest of all you're going to step back and bow out gracefully. Ask the mother to please not say anything to her brat... I mean her daughter because you aren't trying to start any drama but you thought that she, the mom, deserved an explanation. Do. Not. Let her change your mind. I don't know what's up with your "friend" but I'd let her go without a word to her. It seems obvious to you that you aren't really an important person in her so just let it go. Find something fun to do the day/evening of the hen party and make sure you post a couple of pictures of the good time you had on the social media that the two of you are both on. Childish? Maybe. But you'll feel better and it it'll send a message that you weren't sitting home doing nothing if she even bothers to look at your pictures.

Answer 2

Nothing you can do but decide to go or sit it out. What's done is done, you can't do anything about it or improve the situation by being over dramatic about it.



While I think it's tacky to invite someone to events for the wedding who won't be invited to the wedding this might not actually be her doing. The hen party is hosted and planned by someone else so that someone else may have assumed you were being invited to the wedding. That happened to me before, among a group of (casual) friends one was getting married and the MOH sent me an invitation to the shower and the bachelorette party not realizing I wasn't being invited to the wedding. I didn't throw a fit over it, I still attended the shower and went on with life.



You friend is a flake, it's part of her personality, accept or walk away from it. She's also busy right now, to a lot of brides to be, their wedding is top priority to them. You have different priorities than she does right now (and that's okay too). What she does with other friends or people isn't any of your business.



This personally, is a friendship I could do without. Your friendship with her has run it's course, time to move on.

Answer 3

In the U.S., it would extremely rude to invite someone to either a bridal shower or a bachelorette party (I think the same as a hen party) without inviting them to the wedding. It just isn't done. Based on that alone, I would decline the invitation unless you want to catch up with the other "hens" attending.



Since you are now so chummy with the bride's mum, you should speak to her about the apparent cold shoulder. As with any party, you are free to accept or decline the invitation as you wish. if you don't feel like going, then don't. It would appear the bride doesn't care.

Answer 4

What do you mean by "ignoring you?" Does she stand you up? Or is she not messaging you because she's meeting you in an hour so will talk to you then? Why are you discussing "ideas?" about then hen if it's been organised and you've been invited to it?

If she's near to her wedding, she might simply be busy. Maybe stressed and slightly forgetful. Based on the little information you've given no one can tell, but you're coming across as clingy.

Answer 5

How long ago did she send out invites. If you don't get an invite you can choose not to go the the hen party or get a hold of her and ask her when her wedding is.

Answer 6

Messaging drama makes my head spin. Are you saying she didn't respond to texts and then blew off the plans completely? If so, did you say anything about it to her? If you didn't, why not?



Anyway, I agree with others saying this sounds like a friendship on life support. Just make sure you know for fact you weren't invited. Have you moved in the last year? Also, mistakes can be made addressing them. When did others get these invites? Make sure you allow enough time for an incorrect one to be returned back to her. If others got these in the last few days, give it a little more time.

Answer 7

She doesn't sound like much of a friend. And it's rude for her to (a) have a hand in planning her own hen party, and (b) to invite non-wedding guests to the party.



I would decline, and start to distance yourself from her.

Answer 8

Go to that party and make them invite you to the wedding. If they don't....Go home eat a bucket of ice-cream and binge on simpsons

Answer 9

It is beyond rude to invite someone to a wedding event if they are not invited to the actual wedding.

Answer 10

It is considered rude and tacky to invite people to pre-wedding parties (such as bachelorette or shower) and not invite them to the wedding itself. I would decline.

Answer 11

I wouldn't.

Answer 12

Gift Grab, go Snickers!!

Answer 13

just ignore her. if she doesn't consider you as your friend then you shouldn't either