Asking for money for the honeymoon at the bridal shower?

Question

My best friend is getting married, and I am planning her bridal shower for January. What I would really like is to ask the guest to donate towards her honeymoon as opposed to buying something off the registry.

Without any help, her and her fiancé will probably not be able to afford even going out of state. I would love to be able to give her the honeymoon that she wants. I don't know if it is tacky or bad etiquette to ask for money. It is for something specific, so I personally don't think it's greedy or tacky. What do you think?

I know there are registries for honeymoons, but I don't want to get caught up in that, especially when many require full payment for everything no matter how much is given.

Answer 1

The wedding shower is for one reason: to gift the bride of the things she needs to start her household. If she already has a household, she does not need a shower.



No, money is never ever asked for as a wedding present, and certainly not at the shower.

"Asked" being the operative word. It is rude to ask for anything.

So they have to wait for a honeymoon. It will be all that more special, when you have to save up and anticipate one.

And wedding guests often take a dim view of honeymoon registries. First off, it takes money up front to get one, and people would rather you spend it on the honeymoon. Second, it is trawling for dollars, telling people that money is wanted. Guests do not want to pay for a luxury honeymoon, when they themselves had to scrimp and save to get to come to the wedding.

I know you mean well, but to surprise the bride with a money shower might just embarrass her to death, that someone broke customary and etiquette rules for a party she had to attend. Let alone her Mom and Grandmom, who would sit there and shudder the whole time.

Do specify on the invite that it is a household, or a kitchen, or a lingerie, or a personal shower.

Like I always say, LOL, this is not the bride's birthday, she is not 8 years old, your guests are not all "Grandma" and you can't get away with telling them what to bring for a present.

Answer 2

All of you saying that this is bad etiquette and rude are some of the most closed minded people I have ever seen on here. The point of a shower is to provide the person, or couple, who is being honored something that will help them in their future endeavors. Everyone deserves a honeymoon after their wedding and if the only way they can afford one is by gifts from friends and family who already intend on provide some sort of gift, why would anyone be upset about that? Etiquette has no place when you are supposed to be looking out for the best interest of a loved one.

Answer 3

Don't do this!

For one thing, asking for money at a shower is very tacky.

Also, your friend may be excited about opening presents at her bridal shower. If there aren't any, she may be disappointed. (And do you really think she'd have created a registry if she wasn't eagerly anticipating getting at least some things for her home?)

If people ask you for gift ideas, you could suggest Visa/MasterCard gift cards so the bride can get something of her choice. (She could also use them on the honeymoon, but don't mention anything about the honeymoon to the guests).

And remember; lots of people cannot afford expensive far-away honeymoons. Your friend is in good company.

Answer 4

Asking For Money For Honeymoon

Answer 5

It is simply not done, a referal to gifts or money are extremely bad etiquette. She can not have a registry and that way people may give money, but she also may get a lots of "stuff" that she doesn't really need. The only thing you can do is word of mouth and this has to be done correctly, let Mom and bridesmaid know the situation and if anyone asks them what they (the couple) need they can answer, I don't know of anything in particular that she needs. Add in a bit of conversation and then who/whomever can say it's so sad that they are not going to be able to afford a honeymoon or it's so sad that they can't have a honeymoon, then let other the other person respond.

Answer 6

Never heard of a honeymoon registry extremely tacky. You cannot ask guests to pay money and call them guests You are charging them for attending the party. Your friend should plan on the honeymoon they can afford on their own. No one else should be expected to pay any of that expense. If they cannot afford a honeymoon, do what so many have done and wait until you can.

Answer 7

i personally think have 1 or the other. if she has a registry set up then guests can buy that stuff instead of giving money. im asking for money instead of presents as me and my partner already live together. i also think asking at the bridal shower is a no no. talk with the bride and find out what she wants i know your trying to help but there's a reason a registry has been set up.

Answer 8

No no no.....the Honeymoon is the first vacation a couple take as a married couple and it is the obligation of the couple, or traditionally speaking the groom, to pay for their vacation...tell me-would you consider asking family & friends to contribute to a vacation budget for yourself, or you parents, other family and friends? A wedding does not change things...plus it is rude to beg/ask for money. Now, if some one OFFERS to help with the honeymoon expenses, then that's an altogether different thing-I don't know if it's viewed differently in the UK but the vast amount of folk in the US would consider this inappropriate, 'tacky' and just not something polite people do....you DON'T ask or suggest that anyone pay for YOUR wedding and Honeymoon....major no-no.

Answer 9

It is NOT essential for a couple of have a honeymoon & in fact many couples postpone one until some months after the wedding.

It is nice that you want to do this for your friend ,

You are going to get a lot of negative replies to your suggestion -but this scenario in various forms is becoming much more common today , largely due to the fact that the majority of couples have been living away from home for many years, even living together & tend to have most of what they need to set up a house.

My suggestion to you would be to speak to few of the couples close friends & ask if they would be willing to contribute to the cost of a weekend get away for the couple & make that a combined gift from a select few.

OR if guests invited to the shower ask about gifts - then you could mention your idea to them.

Answer 10

Sorry but you do not ask guests to pay for your honeymoon.



And I certainly would NOT do this without the bride's knowledge. These are her friends and family. and many may find this rude to do.



And to add; any guest that is upset at this is going to blame the bride, not you. Do not do this at all, and do not "surprise" the bride. Anything out of the ordinary or not in an etiquette book should be run by the bride first.

Answer 11

The sprawling city of Los Angeles, in Southern California, with hotelbye has always been known internationally in the picture and leisure market, particularly for Hollywood, a location that's drawn future actors and actresses from around the world for nearly a century. Nowadays, LA is a culturally diverse city, with a growing culinary scene, extraordinary buying, outstanding museums, and a reputation to be the creative center of America. Marina del Rey is one of the places many visited from Los Angeles. Here you can see the Fisherman's Village, High-end Restaurants on the Marina, Venice Beach near Washington Boulevard, Mother's Beach, Burton W. Chace Park, Marina del Rey WaterBus, Free Summer Concerts and more.

Answer 12

Seems kinda tacky to me if you have to ask during bridal shower for honeymoon money. Best thing to do is ask for items which they can use once they move in together, and have whatever money they were going to use go towards the honeymoon.

Answer 13

Although your intentions are good it is tacky to ask for money. Bride and groom will have to hold off on the honeymoon until they can afford one.

Answer 14

Well, if it's a surprise for the bride, then it doesn't seem tacky.

So instead of printing it, you can call all the members invited to the shower, & tell them casually, not seeming needy, just casually, that you are putting up a surprise money fund for their honeymoon, & say if possible do help with that instead of buying other gifts. They will understand I'm sure, but you'll have to use the choicest words. All the best! It's good to be practical some times. :)

Answer 15

This is completely inappropriate.



If you want to fund their honeymoon, save up between now and the wedding, and present them with a check.

Answer 16

tacky. if you want your friend to have the best honeymoon ever, then you should pay for it. asking others to contribute will be putting them in a very uncomfortable position.

Answer 17

Asking for money is in a very bad taste, and will be seen as vulgar and grasping.



If asked for money at a wedding I always refuse.

Answer 18

If anyone asks you directly for gift recommendations, you're welcome to share your opinion. Otherwise, it's considered bad etiquette. People will show their support for the bride and groom however they think best, and it's up to both you and her to accept that graciously.

Answer 19

It is NOT Tacky. My friend uses honeyfund. com.

Answer 20

Completely in bad taste.

Answer 21

Tacky, tacky, tacky

Answer 22

u decuide

Answer 23

No.