Alcohol Free/Dry Wedding!? Help!?

Question

My fiancé is a recovering alcoholic and i do not drink anymore as well. We are not having alcohol at our wedding because we want to feel comfortable (he is still uncomfortable around alcohol and people who are drinking). My family are all BIG drinkers and i know are going to be upset that there is no alcohol, but this day is about us and not them. My thoughts on how to avoid an issue is to have a wedding earlier in the day. I was thinking a coffee, hot coco and hot cider "cocktail" hour since we are getting married in october. Also to keep every one entertained i was thinking of offering boardgames already set up at tables (and ones you can swap out on another table). My family and friends love board games and are very competitive so this will hopefully liven things up. Any other suggestions for things i can do to make things exciting and not boring?
What should i do if guests bring in alcohol? (This would upset my fiancé)
Thanks for the help! Any suggestions would be wonderful!

Answer 1

Even though alcohol-free weddings are fine, and you certainly have a valid reason for wanting one, it always hits me wrong when someone says the reception "is about us and not them". Actually, it's the opposite. The reception is to thank your guests for being part of your day, so it's about THEM, not you. I'm hardly saying serve alcohol, but rather don't go around stating it this way.



You're smart to aim for a wedding earlier in the day, but then when you mention a "cocktail hour", I guess I read that wrong. Have you considered a luncheon wedding or a brunch type one? Don't do this if you don't like the idea, but it might make it easier.



On the board games, if you're sure everyone invited would love to see this, it might be ok, but overall weddings don't usually go overboard to compensate for not serving alcohol. I go to weddings to visit with people I haven't seen in awhile, not play board games (and I love board games! Just not at weddings).



Also, if there are any guests you think might be rude enough to bring alcohol into an alcohol free wedding, this is unbelievably crass. Your options are to not invite them, or else make it clear ahead of time that they will be escorted off the premises if this happens. Another way to handle it is pick a venue that doesn't allow alcohol. Lots of them don't, and then it becomes not only a social violation, but a legal one, as well.



PS - @cammie, sorry to butt in! But I'm a substance abuse counselor and what you say isn't always true. I've known people 30 years sober who still avoid any situation where alcohol is present. The important thing is for the person to identify slippery places and people, and her fiance has done this. It needs to be respected, and that's why it's so unconscionable that some guests might bring alcohol into the wedding. Personally, I would tell them our relationship/friendship is over if they do something like that.

Answer 2

Having your wedding earlier in the day is a great way to curb alcohol consumption. You could easily do a brunch reception (omelet bar, pancakes, etc.), along with juices, cider, cocoa, and coffee. You should have some good background music (even if no one dances). A good soundtrack can completely change the vibe of an event.



As far as people bringing alcohol, you can politely make it clear that your wedding is dry, ask that your guests respect your decision, have your wedding in a booze-free venue, firmly have them removed from the premises if they bring booze, etc. At the end of the day, these people are adults who should be able to grasp the concept. If they cannot manage to go a morning without drinking, that is their issue. It should not ruin your SO's day or negate the progress he has made.



Check out the link below for more dry wedding advice. Offbeat Bride has actually featured a bunch of dry weddings and these guys have some decent advice for handling families and such.

Answer 3

I would have the wedding earlier in the day. A brunch/lunch/afternoon reception would be great, and most people won't expect to drink at that time of day. I have no issues with dry wedding, but for me, if I'm spending my Saturday night going to a wedding, I'm going to want to have a drink or two. I think most people would agree. I also agree that your reception really isn't all about you... It's about taking the time to thank your guests for spending their time and money attending your wedding. The ceremony is about you, the reception isn't.

As far as a "cocktail" hour, there is absolutely no point since there will be no cocktails.

As for the board games, most people can entertain themselves at a wedding, and will do so by mingling, eating and such. Although if this is something you really want to have, go for it. I'm sure some people would get into it.

Answer 4

You can not do anything but kick the people out. That would cause more trouble



I been to non alcohol weddings, a good DJ that can read a crowd, could get anyone one on the dance floor with or without alcohol. At my wedding, I gave the venue a case of non alcohol sparkling white grape juice, because I had family members on both side that did not drink or pregnant. They went around and asked if they wanted Sparling wine or juice. Sparkling Juice could be a way to toast.



You could do an early wedding, lunch or brunch wedding. Sunday brunch weddings are normally cheaper. If you have a DJ, you could do table trivia, that could be fun.

Answer 5

Please realize that the reception is in fact a thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony, so yes it is about them more than you. BUT! You are WELL within your rights to have an alcohol free reception. Just avoid the use of the words "cocktail hour".



As for board games? Kinda depends on your crowd. My husband and I game, his groomsmen and the other friends he invited game, and my bridesmaids and other friends are willing to learn, plus some of our family members are gamers. Now, I'm talking Dungeons and Dragons and the like, but still, games. We had them at our wedding and it was a huge hit. But we knew our crowd well and KNEW it would be a hit. We wouldn't have done it if we weren't absolutely certain someone would sit down and play them. Now instead of the usual pictures of wedding parties, we've got the whole bridal party engrossed in a game of Magic, lol. So think about your crowd. Is it something they would enjoy?



As for if people bring alcohol, speak to your venue. THEY are the ones who should be watching for that and handling issues if people do try to sneak alcohol in

Answer 6

An alcohol free wedding is fine, but I think board games sound pretty juvenile for what is supposed to be an adult function.





There is nothing you can really do if guests bring there own short of asking them to leave and starting a lot of family drama.

Answer 7

People really don't bring alcohol to a formal party. That's really unheard of, honestly. I wouldn't worry about that.



If you had a brunch wedding, that would be easiest to avoid alcohol. You could also offer a signature special drink, if you were so inclined, such as a caramel cocoa or something like that to make the drink seem even more special.



I don't know about board games, but if your family likes them, it could be a good and novel idea.

Answer 8

As a recovering alcoholic, your soon to be needs to be comfortable in social situations where this is alcohol.He can't just live in a cave.

As already said, your reception is about your guests.The reception is to Thank your guests for celabrating with you and attending your wedding.

Since your family does drink, A moderate amount of alcohol may be nice.

I like what the other have said about a brunch or lunch reception.It will be less expensive also.

You could offer Bloody Mary's and Mimosas.

If you decide on a later time, go right from the wedding ito dinner.No time for cocktails.

You can easily offer a couple choices of wine poured by a bartender or waiter and a champagne toast with the cake.

I am not a drinker so a dry wedding would be fine with me.

Think a bit more about your guess.

Congrats on your wedding.

Answer 9

You have dancing. People can dance with or without alcohol.



There is no one that should be coming to your wedding who isn't understanding and supportive that you are recovering alcoholics.



If someone brings their own alcohol, I think you should kindly ask them to leave.

Answer 10

My wedding and reception was at a public park. Consuming alcohol was not allowed there.

Answer 11

Your family will deal with it...they should be attending to watch you get married, not to tie on a snootfull. If anyone tries to sneak booze into YOUR party, you tell them either the booze leaves, or they leave with it....I've been to dry weddings...they were lovely....you don't need to get schnockered to have a good time.

Answer 12

have 2 people on duty at the door to ask anyone bringing alchohal to give it to them until they leave