Charitable donation for wedding favour?

Question

Me and my fiance are having a destination wedding and are trying to decide on favours. We are huge animal lovers so we are debating doing a donation to a non-kill animal shelter in my home province in the guests name in lieu of a traditional favour... two reasons behind this are: a) how many people really want a candle or something... at least it will be going to a good cause and b) lugging all the favours down south with us. Good or bad idea? Do you think people will feel like we have cheaped out because they have nothing tangible?

Answer 1

I attended a wedding in October where they did the same thing. On everyone's dinner plate was a beautiful professionally printed card that said something like, "in lieu of traditional wedding favors, the couple has made a charitable donation to Memorial Hermann Children's Hospital"



We thought it was a wonderful idea.

Answer 2

I can't say I like this idea much. It would be better to ask guests to donate to the cause instead of buying you a present. Or have the MC announce that there is no 3 tier wedding cake as you have donated the money to an animal shelter instead - pass round a packet of chocolate biscuits instead.

Either don't have favours at all or make them very inexpensive. A tiny tree seedling is environmentally friendly. Or how about a single,brown, free range egg wrapped in tulle - a protest against battery chicken farming.; or a packet of wildflower seeds to sow either in their own garden or on the side of the highway or other communal ground..

Or you could maybe incorporate a wishing well or other novelty money-making venture at the reception with all proceeds going to charity.

I honestly don't think many people like" a donation has been made in your name" gifts - it might be appropriate to give to Donald Trump or Elton John but not as a wedding favour.

Answer 3

I work very closely with an NGO, and know how much donations by the general public are needed and appreciated. However, I suggest you simply make the donation without mentioning it to your guests.



First, I believe it is fundamentally wrong to push a cause on another person. And that is essentially what you are doing with the "in lieu of". Someone will think "Why a donation to mangy pets when there are children in this world who cannot attend school?" Cruel, but someone will think it. On the other hand, if you give to UNICEF someone will grumble about the lack of efficiency, wasted funds on fancy buildings and glossy image-building, and endless red tape and paperwork in the organization. You cant please everyone -- yes, even for a good cause!



Second, it may come across as showy and bragging. I know firsthand that those who announce donations or look for recognition often do NOT make good on their promises.



Third, favors are going out of style and your guests will not miss a candle one bit. In fact they will probably not even notice that there are no favors. So, you do not owe them a favor, nor do you owe them an explanation of where that "favor money" went to.



Fourth, if your guests want to donate to the animal shelter.... believe me, they will. You dont need to do it for them.



And fifth, your wedding is not the time or the place for charitable solicitation, advertising, or otherwise. Make that donation! Just dont make it be a part of your wedding.

Answer 4

It's hard for me to be objective, because this is the one cause I'd be happy to give most of my winnings to if I won the lottery! I'm a huge pet lover.



But for some reason I'm not crazy about this. It's not that the guests wouldn't have something "tangible" - that would be tacky on their part. It's more about the combining of a wedding with charitable giving and the assumption that somebody would approve of a donation in their name. It's hard to see how this cause might offend someone (unless they had adopted a sick pet from the shelter or something) but the next person who liked your idea might want to do the same with PETA, for example. And that sort of shows how these things can go south pretty quickly.



But if you're determined to do it, you did pick the right cause for a lot of us :)

Answer 5

I think this is a wonderful idea! You get to donate money to a worthy cause instead of wasting it on a useless favor people would likely throw away. I am sure the guests will love it too. I know a lot of the time, I feel obligated to take the favors that I don't really want. I would much rather have a few dollars donated to a charity. Great idea!!

Answer 6

I think it's a great idea, I've been to several weddings who have done something similar be it to cancer research, or a number of other charities. I honestly do not care about a small token favor that I'll never use again. Anyone who has a problem with a charitable donation to a good cause is way, way to sensitive. Saving animals is not really a controversial charity! You aren't making it specifically in their name but in yours. Anyone who has the nerve to complain about something like that isn't worth listening to.

Answer 7

I think that would be something unique and if I were a guest I would love it especially since I too am an animal lover and like you said I don't even know whatever happened to the favors I got from weddings or even if I remembered to bring them home. At least you know that you are doing something good and that is a great little addition to your wedding day!

Answer 8

Your intentions are great, but I agree with Fizzy Stuff. Charitable donations as favors are not appropriate according to etiquette.



You are assuming that your guests support the shelter of your choice, and though it sounds like a good shelter, someone might have a problem with it - even if they support similar charities.



If I were in your position, I would forgo favors for the reasons you've given. I think people will understand, if they even notice that you don't have any at all.

Answer 9

I think it's weird. When people donate in lieu of something, it's usually because the people supposed to receive the gift request it. Like, you can request that in lieu of gifts, your guests donate to this no-kill shelter. A family can request that in lieu of flowers at a funeral, donations go to such and such foundation. But you shouldn't cheap your guests like that. It's nothing but RUDE. It would be more polite not to buy anything at all.

Answer 10

This sounds like an excellent idea. You should have the M.C. or whoever is running the mike to make an announcement during your reception.

Answer 11

I'd rather get this kind of "favor" than a traditional something I could never use.

Answer 12

Please don't. Skip the favors. Nobody cares about favors. Make a private donation.

Answer 13

good idea, i wish more people thought like you...