Etiquette for engagement/wedding announcements...?

Question

here's the deal...my fiance' and i are getting married in maui...we've told the people we want there and have made arrangements for them to be there with us on our day...
we want to send out engagement announcements to everyone else that's not invited that says "blah blah blah we're getting married on this date in maui" and then after the wedding we want to send out wedding announcements that say "blah blah blah, we got married"...we dont want to send out invitations since we're really not inviting anyone to the wedding other than who we've already told and we're not having a wedding shower so there are no gifts from anyone...what would be the wording on the engagement announcement that doesnt blatantly say "youre not invited"? any ideas? would this be considered rude by some even tho we're not accepting any gifts?

Answer 1

i don't think you need to send an announcement. people will either hear the news from you, your parents, your fiance, or his parents. even some very formal weddings don't have engagement announces. they may have save-the-dates, but that doesn't apply here. i think a wedding announcement is the most you should send. an official engagement announcement might send that signal that an invitation is to follow. it might also send the signal that an engagement present is necessary. send a wedding announcement and let the ring and word-of-mouth announce the engagement.



if you still want something more formal, but want to avoid any confusion you could:



-put an announcement in the paper

-have a small party

-create a wedding website

-email from www.iomoi.com



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Answer 2

I would completely forgoe the engagement announcements, and send out the wedding announcements the day you return from your trip (or the day of your wedding, if you want to pack them all the way to Maui with you- it might be neat for them to have the postmark from Maui instead of your home postmark). I finished getting my announcements ready today, and my wedding was on Saturday.



If you send engagement announcements, no matter how you word it, at least one person will misread it and assume they're invited.



In my announcements, I put 'so and so were married in a private ceremony blah blah blah' so that people will understand that it was a small ceremony, and they were not the only people who didn't go to it.



And you can't just not accept gifts if someone wants to give it to you. That would be considered very rude. Just don't register or anything, and let your mom/sister/aunt/gramdma know that you would prefer no gifts, and they can tell people if they ask. But some people are gonna give you something anyway, and you need to just graciously accept it, and send a thank you card a week or so later.

Answer 3

I would send a wedding announcement right after you get married. Have them ready to go, and mail them when you come back after the wedding. Engagement announcements will only create confusion ("are we invited?" "do we send a gift?") Just stick with the wedding announcement.

Answer 4

There is no need to send out both an engagement announcement and a wedding announcement. Just sending out the wedding announcement seven to ten days after your wedding ceremony is sufficient.



The wedding announcement has a specific purpose . . and that is to announce your wedding to all of the people who were not invited to your wedding.



The wedding announcement should give your names . . the date of your wedding ceremony . . and the location . . that's it!



Very few people will send a gift to the Bride and Groom after they receive a wedding announcement.



Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 5

Don't send the engagement announcements. Typically, these are sent as "save the dates." They don't need to save the date, since they won't be there. If you sent them, you'll just get a whole lot of people bugging you about their wedding invitation.



Seriously, just let news of your engagement spread by word of mouth. Or have an engagement party. But send only the announcements after the wedding.

Answer 6

Send out the wedding announcements. Skip the engagement announcements. It is advertising to people that you are excluding them by running off to Hawaii and want gifts. Looks bad.

Answer 7

I don't recommend sending formal announcements in this day and age – it forces you to consider your invitation list far too early, it confuses the recipients who often mistake it for an invitation, and there are easier ways of announcing your engagement. Still, if the idea of beautiful cards telling the world your good news is too delicious to resist, go to your local stationery store. You can word them however you wish, but typically wording is similar to what appears in a newspaper announcement. Instead of requesting the honour of their presence at the marriage...however, you would say "have the honour of announcing the marriage..."

Answer 8

I wouldn't bother with engagement announcements. It would be very easy for people to confuse them with save the date notices.



Just wait until after you're married and send the wedding announcements.



Oh, and just because you're not asking for gifts doesn't mean some people won't give them to you, anyway. Do be prepared to be gracious and write thank you notes.

Answer 9

I dont get why you would send out an announcement saying you got married. whats the point if people arent invoted to a wedding? if I got that in the mail I'd be like "ok...great...so what?" sorry but even though you say you dont want any gifts, if I got something like that I would think the couple is just looking for a present.

Answer 10

Don't send out engagement announcements, then, just wedding announcements after you are married.

Answer 11

you want to make an announcement not so much an invitation. You would like to send the week your getting married or a few days before and have it say... we got married on such and such day in maui. unless your having a local reception you should just send an announcement that you already got married.