Should I have a seating chart? Could I do it restaurant style?

Question

I am having a wedding with around 150 people. My mother wants a seating chart because she thinks people are going to fight it save seats, but my MIL doesn t think it is necessary. Guest are not rspving quickly and my parents are slowly adding people as we have a month left. A way I thought to meet them in the middle is by seating there guest like a restaurant style with hostesses, asking them how many people the want to sit with and taking them to the table.

*Although this is my wedding, my mom and MIL are funding the wedding, so I have to keep them happy

Answer 1

This actually doesn't matter but since you must mediate this sounds like a good compromise.

Answer 2

With potentially ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY guests, you really do need a seating chart. I could see if you had a smaller guest list, perhaps seating thyself would work, but not with over a hundred guests. That is unfair to the guests to have to pick and choose where to and where NOT to sit.



You need not have a specific chair for one to sit in, but just a table number would do. They can choose who they sit next to at their designated table.



If you had a smaller guest list, self seating would work, but not so much with over a hundred guests.

Answer 3

Forget the hostess, if you do not want a seating chart open seating is common. I've coordinated several weddings with open seating and there has never been a problem. What you need to do with open seating is put a reserved sign on the table where you want the special family member and wedding party (if you are doing a sweet heart table). Honestly I would say do open seating, save yourself some aggravation, and then have a guest book attendant to assist if there are any issues.

Answer 4

Yes

Answer 5

Have a seating chart. People are going to stand around not knowing where to sit.

Tables will end up wiht only one space left. Couples won’t find a table together. It is a mess without a seating chart. Assign tables to guest. It is much easier for your guests.

Answer 6

A seating chart will not only provide for your families, it will provide for your guests. Telling them they must figure out where to sit is treating everyone like cattle-it's not at all gracious, nor does it provide for anyone to be seated with interesting people. There is a knack to arranging seating to encourage discussion and socialization- think about a school lunchroom. People have to desperately search for an open seat, save seats for their partners, and hope that someone they don't like doesn't sit where they want to sit. You DON'T want to create that drama.



Quietly arrange a seating chart as the RSVPs come in, and if there are stragglers who haven't answered by the requested date, call them and ask if they will be able to attend. Your reception isn't for your mother, it is for her/your GUESTS- and they should be given every gracious consideration to their comfort. That doesn't include dashing for a seat.

Answer 7

Have a seating chart, people can sit where ever they want later on. It makes thing easier to keep organized. They can chose where they want to sit at your ceremony. At the reception, you want to have people sitting with others that they know and a few that they may not know, so they won't fight over who gets to sit with who, or where they want to sit. You should have practically the same amount of people at each table. Your wedding reception isn't a restaurant.

Call the people that didn't RSVP yet, ask them if they plan on coming to your wedding. If you have meal options, you should ask them what they want to eat.

Answer 8

Have a seating chart. You dont have to assign where they will sit at the table. If you do restaurant style, there could be some drama. You dont want to have grandma sit by the kitchen but have a coworker sit near the family table.

Answer 9

i would if you think you need one

Answer 10

i think it is common to have a seating chart for weddings. what you could do, is if it's a lot of families, have them sit together at a table, then have them choose among themselves where they want to sit at THAT table.

Answer 11

open seating is always the best



if I want to sit next to uncle bob, I want to be able to

Answer 12

Set up tables of 4 or 6, and let them make up their own minds about where they want to sit, and with whom they want to sit. If they're like most guests at a wedding reception, they'll be "table-hopping" the entire time, so it doesn't matter where they originally sit down because they're not going to STAY at that table.

My son & DIL had 175 guests at their wedding reception. The meal was served cafeteria-style. The guests & their friends and family members took their plates of food and went and ate it at any table they wanted to.

Answer 13

I just read through all of this, and I'm not sure people are defining seating chart the same way. If you mean assigning people to tables, yes this makes sense. Just keep a list of names in alphabetical order, along with table #'s. Pin it somewhere near the front door or have someone read it to guests as they enter.



However, you said something very alarming! RSVPs are always slow to come in, because people are lazy and rude. However, I hope your mom and future MIL aren't assuming this means they aren't coming. Once your RSVP deadline passes, you need to confirm this before inviting others. Maybe you're doing that, but the wording suggested making assumptions they won't come. You'll end up having to turn people away.

Answer 14

You would be absolutely in the right to assign seating in advance, even if you have to revise your seating plan , as guests acknowledge that they may or may not be attending. People generally are most comfortable sitting with either their same age group, or those with whom they are familiar, such as relatives. There can be a childrens' table, a table to place single attendees together, whatever your plan, its not only wise but in my book, mandatory. Otherwise, you are correct in anticipating various kinds of chaos over seating arrangements, or the lack thereof, and you wouldn't want it to spoil your big day ! Tell both moms of your decision and stick to it. Congrats on your upcoming wedding !

Answer 15

I'd say go with a seating chart. We don't want to reinforce the increasingly common but mistaken notion that a wedding reception, or any other sort of dinner party, is like eating in a restaurant.

Answer 16

It really depends on how formal your wedding is. Do NOT try to have a hostess seat people. A question you should ask your mother is why she has an issue with people saving seats? What is it to her? It is normal for groups of friends or family to want to sit together. You have two basic choices:

1. Assign people to a table. This allows you total control over who sits with who AND prevents people from sitting alone or people "saving seats" or dragging chairs from one table to another. The downside is that some people are likely to be "hurt" by where they are seated or with whom they are seated.



2. You let people sit where they want with whomever they want and assume they will act like adults. The downside is that there will still be people who don't get to sit with the folks they wanted to sit with and there is always the possibility that a couple will be left stranded alone at a table or enterprising guest will try to stuff a couple extra people at a table rather than sit at a new table.

Answer 17

Do a seating chart.



Having to find your own seat at a wedding, especially a formal or semi-formal wedding, is inconvenient.



Don't be lazy. Do a seating chart. It will not take you that long. Group people by their association and things will go quick ... we did lists like My Family, His Family, His Friends, My Friends, Mutual Friends, His Coworkers, etc., and things worked out very well. Only a few "stragglers" and we found good places to put them.



As for the RSVPs ... they have until the deadline. If they do not respond by the deadline date, then a day or two later call them and ask if they are coming.



Your parents should not be adding people onto the list willy-nilly at this point. Doesn't your hall have an occupancy limit? I mean, if your parents are paying for it and they're willing to deal with the catering logistics and if the hall can accommodate everyone, then they can go buck wild ... but it'd be smart for them to at least get everyone on the original list's RSVP before they start inviting the B Listers.



If you wind up foregoing the seating chart and letting everyone pick their own seat, then (a) I suggest having an extra table or two, so that stragglers aren't left out in the cold, and (b) DO NOT DARE ask a guest (even a family member) or bridesmaid to play hostess - hire someone, if you insist on doing the hostess nonsense.

Answer 18

I think you should just have the hostess option. It makes things easier for everyone. Then you don't have to worry about everyone getting a seat. BUT you will need to make sure tables are large enough to have entire groups of people at the same table so half of the party isn't at one table while the other half is at another one. That's where it gets dicey.



I also honestly don't understand why your parents haven't finalized a number yet. Most caterers require a final number a month in advance. So if your wedding is being catered you need to make sure they know the final number to have enough food on hand. You really need to remind them of that fact so you don't have unhappy guests not having enough to eat.



You could also assign seats for the people who HAVE RSVPd (maybe closer to you/the front of the room since they actually did their job and responded in a timely manner) and take the guess work out of that. Then a hostess can seat the remaining people at open tables.

Answer 19

You need a seating chart.

Answer 20

Lol A hostess will not work. Have a seating chart. Call guests who do not RSVP by the RSVP date. Call a couple days after the date you provided. Then make your chart.

Answer 21

Make up a small card for where everyone sits

Answer 22

Have a seating chart. Sitting people like a restaurant is not going to make either Mom happy at all. That's a LOT of people to serve dinner to. So organize it by who they know (bride/groom) and mix the tables slightly if possible because, after all, this is the blend of two people and two families. Have name cards. Hopefully, only about 1/2 the guests invited to the wedding will stay for dinner.

Answer 23

Families are normally the last to show up at the reception.

If you have it restaurant style, people sit anywhere they want.

Guest will come in and sit at tables, if you know nobody at any tables you will start a new table. Most people will try to get as close as they can.

Family comes in, there no good seating left.



The reason why most weddings have seating charts is put people together.

Besides my father and his parents tables, we mixed our guest.

A lot of weddings do. We put people with together that we think would be find together.



Seating charts are very helpful.

You tell people Table 3 or 4 or 5, etc.

They have a place to go, it makes people going into a reception easier.

I would use a seating charts.



Just tell your mother in law that you will go with assign tables, people could pick their seats. Tell her she will get a table or two with important family/friends up front at the reception.

Answer 24

If it's a semi-formal (buffet) dinner, you can just reserve and indicate the head table for the wedding party and a table for the parents and immediate family. The rest of the guests are surely capable of finding a place to sit with friends.



If there is going to be waiter service, it's better to have a seating arrangement so that guests with special dietary needs can be accommodated more easily. Their seats should be indicated in advance. Serving 150 people at once is much different than serving 150 restaurant guests who all arrive at different times.