Should I invite her to my wedding?

Question

Last year I worked at a small office, where there were just 8 of us. I worked there for 3 years full time, and since even the office space was small, we all became close friends (we often dined out together, eat at each others' house, knew each others' immediate families, etc.)

One of my office mates was Cassie. She can be civil, but she's not the world's best person. During my first week in that office, she was not nice to me. Other office mates (whom I knew in college and were already working there) told me that Cassie didn't like me because of my resume content. I was a consistent honor student and had some impressive achievements, and of course, this info is in my resume, which impressed the boss when I applied. Cassie was used to being almost always the best person around, so she instantly saw me as a rival. She also anticipated that I might be an over-confident and conceited person, because of my achievements, so she didn't like me right away, even though I was not what she thought I was.

When the boss is not around, Cassie acts like she's the boss. She almost always wants things done her way. Most of the time, we couldn't tell her off, because she's so clever, she knew how to turn things into her advantage. Also, the boss couldn't just get rid of her because she's been in that office for a long time and already know how everything works, so hiring a new person on her place would mean starting from scratch again.

A couple of times in those 3 years, we've had a fight, because she wanted me to do what she wanted, and I fought for what I felt was right. During the first few months, I thought I won't be able to survive that office with her there.

Gradually, I was able to adjust to her and she became nicer to me. I think she's got a split personality, because she can really be mean, yet she can also be nice and generous. Although many times, when she's nice, I think it's only because either there's somebody rich and famous in the room (lots of our boss' wealthy and influential friends visit sometimes, and she's realllllyyy nice to them), or because she wants something in return, or she's showing off, or she's being pretentious.

When I left that office, we were in good terms. All the other people in that office were nice to me all the time, except just her. The other people in that office have already left too, and have gone to different places, but we kept in touch, thru facebook, yahoo messenger, etc., since we no longer lived in the same cities.

Later this year, I'm getting married in that city where I worked before. While drafting my guest list last year, I included everyone from that office, since there were only 5 people to invite (two were abroad on contract for a couple of years, so they couldn't come). Our guests will be between 100-120 people, so there's plenty of room for them.

Last month, during one public conversation on facebook, she insulted my fiance. With her somewhat insensitive personality, it's not surprising, because she has negatively criticized sweethearts of our other officemates before (like saying Jen's boyfriend cannot be trusted because he's more than a decade older and has a child out of wedlock, or how can Linda have a good future with her man since she's a degree holder and her man's just a poor tradesperson without a degree). Even though I've known her for doing that to others, I was just not expecting that she'd also do that to me, and post it even on facebook. I was so surprised and hurt that I replied something like, "Oh yeah? Well then I'm not inviting you to my wedding." ...but deleted it later without knowing whether or not she has read it.

Now I'm reviewing the guest list and preparing the invites. I don't know if I should invite her or not. I'm thinking, if I invite her, I jst might feel bad seeing her there, and remembering the unkind words she has said about my groom. If I don't invite her, then she'll be puzzled why our other officemates got invites, except her, and she'll probably be very offended and hate me thoroughly and say I'm an ungrateful person, because there were also plenty of times when she was nice to me, although not to the extent of going the extra mile to be kind, just when it's convenient for her or if it was her duty to do something good to me. I haven't told my fiance about her insulting remark, nor asked whether we should invite her or not.

Can you give me any advices about this problem?

Answer 1

1) You could have summed at least half of that up in just two words: Office Drama.



2)...

You two obviously don't like each other. You only seem to maintain a social connection for political/professional reasons just to be "polite."



Don't invite her to your wedding. She probably doesn't want to go anyway. You only invite someone to your wedding that you don't want to be there if you want to kiss their ass [[like a boss, for example]]... and I don't think you have any reason here to be kissing her ass.



I'd delete her off my friends list on facebook as well.





There's no need to stay in contact with a negative person like this in your life. By eliminating her, you essentially scratch one more thing off of your list of stupid things to worry about. I promise that severing this "civil" connection will NOT come back to haunt you... neither personally nor professionally.

Answer 2

Sounds like she has some deep seeded problems, some kind of jealousy issues or something and she needs professional help although you will not be able to tell her that. Do the right thing and invite her, just speak to her once and then go have fun. It will make things much, more difficult at the office if you exclude her, so be the nicer person and do it. She definetly has problems if she is taking enough of her time,( which she should be using for personal things that she wants to do) instead of fooling around on facebook and getting into other people's business. She must be a really lonely person, Sorry have to go back, I just re-read your email. Whether to invite her is up to you, if she will make your life hell, go ahead and invite her, but if you don't really want to don't. This person again say has something wrong. Does she have a boyfriend or anything. Lots of jealousy here. I smell a dead fish somewhere. Perhaps you should break off all contact with her and do not, do not be mouthing with her on facebook. Ignore her and that will kill her if she doesn't get a response and you should be mature enough to let your thoughts of this nut case go and do not stoop to her level of you can't even call it life, because she must not have one. Just don't go there, don't waste your time.

Answer 3

If this replaced into intentional it replaced into incredibly cheesy to ask you to the bathe w/o inviting you to the marriage. it may tick me off too if this occurred to me! Too undesirable you already sent the present. i could call the bride's mom to make sparkling or embarrass, in spite of the case would be: "i replaced into invited to the bathe, yet never gained an invite to the marriage. i'm thinking if in line with hazard my invitation replaced into misplaced interior the mail." And now and back, it incredibly is. My mothers and dads are making plans their anniversary celebration, and each and all the clergy at their synagogue gained an invite different than the pinnacle rabbi. He wasn't beneficial whether he ought to declare something, yet he spoke up. My mothers and dads at the instant are investigating whether there replaced right into a mix up on the invites keep or the submit workplace. a minimum of somebody else did no longer receive their invitation the two.

Answer 4

Do not invite her. There is no reason to. Even if you still worked with her, which you don't, you shouldn't. She will be a rainy cloud over your wedding day and who knows, she might even stir up trouble because of her jealousy. You sound like a nice person, but you are not doing yourself or her a favor by keeping her around. She's not worth the trouble, write her off, forget about her, and most importantly have a wonderful wedding day :)

Answer 5

I personally wouldnt invite her just for the comment she made about your groom. If she has always been mean why bother to go out of your way to be nice. Your wedding is your day to be happy and if her not being there will make you happy then dont invite her.

Answer 6

You don't live in the same cities, correct? and yall don't work together anymore right?



So delete her, get rid of her and don't invite her. As simple as that



hollyy

Answer 7

dont invite her



its your wedding and you should only have ppl there that love and support you and your soon to be husband.