Should my guest know that I’m having a commitment ceremony and not a traditional wedding ?

Question

I was speaking to a friend of mine and she told me that I should tell people.like for example, instead of invitations saying wedding it should say commitment ceremony. Me personally I don’t feel it matters . I’m keeping it as wedding because that’s what I feel it is . Not to mention I don’t need ppl asking me all kinds of crazy questions on my special day or at all for that matter .

Answer 1

It is not a wedding, it is a commitment ceremony, call it what it is

Answer 2

Um, yeah, I'd be pretty peeved if I shelled out a ton of money on a wedding gift only to find that the couple isn't even getting legally married. Of course you need to word your invitations appropriately. Just because you "feel" that this is a wedding doesn't make it the kind of legally binding and hard to get out of arrangement that a real marriage is. Don't lie to your guests and don't cheapen the idea of marriage by pretending you're getting married.

Answer 3

You do realize that your commitment ceremony is not a legal marriage and you won't get any benefits with it. Why don't you just get married to each other?

Answer 4

A commitment ceremony is not a legal and binding marriage, it is just a statement of your love. If people are lead to believe you are getting married, then you are having them as guests under false pretenses. Not good.



If you really don't want your special day ruined by people asking questions, then make it perfectly clear as to what they are invited to attend. Why you must beat around the bush is rather odd.

Answer 5

YES!!! If you don't want a lot of people ruining your "special day," don't lie to them. If you aren't getting legally married, then you aren't having a wedding. If you aren't mature enough to be honest about your choices and handle any questions, you shouldn't be inviting people to an event. You can "commit" to each other without the benefit of any ceremony since one isn't needed.

Answer 6

I agree with the majority. In fact, when you say you don't want a lot of questions on your "special day", I guarantee if you call this a wedding, you're begging for non-stop questions.



There's nothing wrong with a commitment ceremony if this is how you want to go. But there is everything wrong with dishonesty and deception.

Answer 7

It doesn't matter what you "feel" this event is ... a wedding is not what it ACTUALLY IS.



Facts matter. You don't get to change a fact just because you don't "feel" like it's what you want.



So, yes, be honest with your guests so they can make an appropriate decision whether or not they wish to attend.



There's nothing wrong with a commitment ceremony in lieu of an actual wedding, but in that case stand behind your choice. Don't set out to fool people or deliberately hide the truth. If you're adult enough to enter into a lifelong commitment like this, then you're adult enough to be honest about your choice and to support it even if others pooh-pooh it.



If you're masquerading as a "real wedding" to trick people into giving you gifts, or so you can parade around as a fake bride like a little girl playing dress up, or if you're afraid of being criticized for not actually getting married for real ... then you aren't ready for a lifelong commitment of any sort.

Answer 8

You should invite your guests to the event they're actually going to be witnessing. If it was a funeral, you wouldn't write birthday party on the invitations, would you?

Answer 9

It seems....deceptive? Like, it's not a wedding, so why are you going to pretend it is one and confuse your guests who are going to shell out money and time to get there?

Answer 10

If it not a wedding ceremony, then don’t put that on the invitation. Put commitment ceremony.

People will ask you questions before they accept

Answer 11

If you have a "commitment ceremony", then you won't be having a wedding.



A wedding ceremony is a part of a legal contract between two people and the State.

A commitment ceremony is just words that two people speak to each other. It's not permanent; you're not legally "joined together"; there's no legal contract.

Answer 12

You're asking whether it's OK to lie about something important to your friends and family? Srsly?

Answer 13

When people are asked to be at a wedding ceremony or wedding celebration, the invitation generally says something about "... the marriage of ... " and that certainly wouldn't work for you, so I'm wondering how you're going to describe just what it is that you are asking people to be a part of. I think you might have to plainly say that you're asking people to witness a renewal of vows, inviting people to join you in celebrating a blessing or reaffirmation of your commitment. If you use roundabout language like "a celebration of our marriage" or "rejoicing in our love" then nobody knows what the event is, what it is you are asking them to attend. Could be an orgy. Further, omitting clarification of what is going on may give the impression that you are (1) getting married and/or (2) fishing for gifts.



Please opt to be straightforward about what your asking of people. If nobody is getting married, then there is no wedding. Instead say something like "Homer and Marge Simpon request the honor of your presence at the blessing of their marriage (or reaffirmation of their marriage vows) on Saturday &c, &c, &c ...".

Answer 14

Your special day in this context should be the wedding, the day you actually marry. Are you having this commitment ceremony in lieu of a wedding, and if so, why? If the plan is to marry "later" do it then. Don't try and pass this off as your wedding day.



There are no legal protections with a commitment ceremony however grand you might feel over a big public statement. You won't be your partner's next of kin, insurance and property/financial oownership and obligations don't change, any children must still be provided for legally etc. The *only* change is this big shitton of money someone is laying out for a party. And profession of commitment most/all of your guests are already well aware of.



If you present this as a wedding and guests find out the day of the event (or after) it's not likely to end well. If you can't be honest and present this commitment cceremony as such, don't do it at all.

Answer 15

you will not be married no matter how you feel, legal is legal, feelings do not make it so

they need to know, I for one would not travel or maybe make the time for a commitment ceremony

I can't see what you expect this dog and pony show to prove, you are hiding the details, because you know how everyone else will feel

Answer 16

You shouldn't lie to your guests. If you're not getting married, why try to hide it? What do you stand to lose? These are questions you really need to ask yourself.

Answer 17

When you communicate with other people, you have to take into account what THEY think words mean, not just what you think they mean. Unless you're only inviting people who already know you're not getting legally married, there's an excellent chance that some of them will assume you are, unless you say otherwise. Knowing this, it would indeed be deceptive not to make it clear what you are inviting them to see.

Answer 18

A wedding means there will be a legal marriage contract, signed by you and your partner, witnessed by two others, and then filed with the government.

If you are not getting married, don't call it a wedding.



A commitment ceremony is just as beautiful

75% likely to end in breaking up, as opposed to marriage (which has a 50% chance of divorce).

But the ceremony itself will be beautiful.



If you are in the habit of thinking reality is what you "feel" it is .. you are headed for trouble in life.

Answer 19

A commitment ceremony sounds like a going away party for someone being committed to a psychiatric facility loony bin.

Answer 20

You shouldn't lie. A commitment ceremony isn't the same as a wedding. Purposely misleading people is shady and bound to cause problems with at least a few of your guest when they feel you lied to them.

Answer 21

A wedding is a legal contract. There are lots of different way to announce a commitment ceremony. You could even claim it is druid wedding and call it a "hand fasting."





Another acceptable way to announce your commitment are:

You are cordially invited to our joining ceremony.

You are cordially invited to our commitment ceremony.

You are cordially invited to as we vow our love to each other.



The people who matter won't care about what words you use to announce your relationship, they will just enjoy being invited.