Is she right or am i right in choosing a wedding date?

Question

My fiance and I were selecting a wedding date and came across a date that happened to be some one in our immediate families birthdays. I said no way! And she said its no big deal. So who is right here. Isn't it the smart thing to choose a date that doesn't coincide with known important dates in the immediate family (birthdays, anniversaries, etc) if that is at all possible. Or do u choose a date and expect ppl to be accepting of it no matter what?

Answer 1

I would say Its best to avoid a wedding date that is the same as an immediate familys birthday. I wouldnt have wanted to get married on my Moms birthday, thats just weird. If it isn't an immediate family member I don't think theres much you can do, you'd be skipping dates all over the place that way. Unless the date has some huge signifigance for you (your first date, etc) I say choose another date. I got married on a MAJOR date in US history and no one could understand it but I had my reasons. It does make my anniversary kind of weird though.

Answer 2

I agree with you. If at all possible, I think immediate family members' birthdays should be avoided. First it's respect (you know the birthdays of your immediate family), but also because you'll be celebrating their birthday in future and it will always coincide with your anniversary. Though it's not the end of the world, because birthday celebrations are usually on the following weekend anyway. Obviously if that's the only possible date then you take it, but it's better avoided.



By immediate family I mean parents and siblings only, perhaps siblings' spouses. That's only about 10 days to avoid. For more distant relatives, no problem. If you've got about 100 guests (like we did) there's a good chance it's someone's birthday.

Answer 3

How many people actually celebrate their birthdays or anniversaries on the day it falls on (unless this day happens to be a weekend)? Not many. The bride is right, it is just a day. You could possibly check with the family member whose birthday it is that this will be ok but, at the end of the day, wedding venues book out months and months in advance, so sometimes you just have to take what you can get. If it happens to be someone's birthday or anniversary, that's just how it is.



One of my friends got married on her best friend's 21st birthday. At the end of speeches, the bride got up and said that today also happen to be very special for someone who is very dear to her, and we all sang happy birthday to the birthday girl. She felt very honoured and was happy to share her day.

Answer 4

While I get what everyone is saying that it doesn't matter, and it really in the end doesn't, the one thing that you guys need to consider (or at least your fiance) is that I really doubt the birthday person is going to give a hoot about your wedding day falling on their birthday, HOWEVER, every year after YOUR anniversary is going to fall on their birthday, and most people consider anniversaries a celebration for the couple so you guys might end up getting invited to birthday parties/dinners and having to spend your anniversary celebrating someone else's birthday.... so that's how you should look at it.

Answer 5

If it is a milestone birthday, I might be courteous of the birthday. Otherwise, no. Or you can have a conversation with that person and see if they mind before booking the venue. Chances are as an adult, not only will this person not mind, but that person gets to spend their birthday with family...celebrating...and drinking!



My husband and I got married on the day before his birthday. We spent his entire birthday traveling to our honeymoon destination. Why? Because the venue we wanted was available that day or the day before Easter. He was fine with it. In retrospect, I am "mad" at myself because we should have sung happy birthday to him at the reception and I had such a case of bride fever that I dropped the ball in making that happen.



My sister and BIL got married on his brother's 30th wedding anniversary. During the reception, their anniversary was acknowledged and they had a spotlight dance. And as the bride...it didn't bother my sister to give attention to her in-law's for a couple of minutes during the reception. It was 3 minutes out of a 12 hour day.



I have a feeling that you are more considerate of the birthday than what the birthday boy/girl would actually care. So what if in future years you both receive a 2 minute phone call or a quick FB greeting on the same day? The only one celebrating your anniversary will be you and your spouse. And if your family is anything like my family, as long as you get a family dinner within a month or so of your actual birthday, then all is good.

Answer 6

Just to put this in proper perspective....you always choose your husband or wife over your family....



BTW, I come from a big irish family so anyone getting married always hits upon somebody's BD, anniversary, etc.....can't be avoided...do it your way & no one in my family would get married lol....



Once you are an adult, birthdays are not a big deal....only little kids think they are.....anniversaries are for the people involved only and can be celebrated the day before or after.

Answer 7

If that date is going to mean something to you both (or it's just perfect for your wedding day), then pick it and during the reception you can have everyone wish that relative happy birthday. You could even get them a small b-day cake if you really wanted to do something for them.



My BFF got married on her own brother's birthday. She thanked him during the reception for letting her share the day with him. Everyone thought that was sweet.



I really, really, really doubt that your relative will care your wedding day is on their b-day.



UPDATE: Just pick a totally different date other than this person's b-day and be done with it. Really, if this is the most challenging thing you have to deal with in your marriage, you are doing alright.

Answer 8

It shouldn't be a big deal either way but I'd still suggest picking a different date. Do you remember the first day you met? What about the day you actually proposed? If you are able to agree on a date that doesn't coincide with another occasion, I'd say do it.

Answer 9

You're supposedly engaged and you haven't figured out yet that marriage is about compromise? I happen to agree with her (who the heck cares about someone's birthday?), but that isn't even the point. Make sure you're not focusing on the wedding too much, and forgetting the much more significant lifetime commitment it represents.

Answer 10

I would avoid dates which are already special in the family.

Answer 11

I think it is no big deal. No one owns a day for the rest of their lives. I would be honored if one of my immediate family's anniversaries was on my birthday. :-)

Answer 12

No one seems to think about this issue, but your anniversary is every year, your wedding just once.



I think it is important to NOT schedule a wedding too close to either of your birthdays, Mother's Dar or Father's Day.

Answer 13

why dont you choose a day that brings you both together, e.g. the day you first saw eachover, or something like that, it might end up causing pain to you and your imediate family member bcos you would always have to celebrate your aniversery rather then their birthday but in the short run, they would(birthday person) would be flattered and happy

Answer 14

its a birthday, big woop

once an adult they mean significantly less unless its a big one

you could be there forever choosing a date if you take everyone invited into consideration

the day should be chosen as its significant to both of you

everyone else can please themselves



if it was my birthday

i would be happy to attend

Answer 15

You are correct. Who wins this one will be a symbol of what your marriage will be like so watch carefully