Wedding rings...NEED HELP.?

Question

I am now engaged to a WONDERFUL man...but I have no ring. I know he wants to get me a nice one, and it really hurts him that he cant afford one yet.
To me the ring the ring is kinda a way to show him off..and when I tell people I am engaged it hurts a little that I dont have one. I am ok w it..I have even made numerous suggestions to him..like just getting the bands now, and getting a nice ring later, but he is determined.
Also, I have in mind what I would like, but becuse of the money thing and how he gets so sad when I talk about it I dont like to say anything.
I really like any ideas you may have on this..or encouraging words. How to make him feel better? How to help? What to tell people when they ask about my ring?(and something that still makes my honey look good..I hate just the, 'well, we're working on it..')

Answer 1

You can look "outside the box" for a ring. They have nice ones at WalMart (really), CostCo & Sam's Club, E-bay, pawn shops, and there's a nice new site called "I do, now I don't - good deals - http://auction.idonowidont.com/newsite.php - but what's important is NOT the ring, but your love for each other. Get over what other people think. Lot's of people don't even do traditional engagement rings these days, anyway - and many don't do big diamond solitaires. It's LOVE that counts & what's in your heart.

Answer 2

Ummm. does he have a job? If he does and you still dont have a ring then are you sure he wants to marry you>?

How can you afford to get married if he cant afford an engagement ring?

Could it be that your tastes are just too expensive and he is afraid to get you a ring knowing that you will be unhappy with whatever he can afford?

Maybe you need to curb your taste a little.

There are lovely rings out there for under $500. You could layby....you could get one of those interest free plans which is like a layby but you get to take the ring home with you. My friend did that for his girl and they got a beautiful ring and he pays $25 a week for the next 8 months.

If the two of you cant afford to do something like that then you most probably cannot afford to get married. Sorry, but true.

Answer 3

I hope I don't offend you, but if he can't afford a ring, how will you afford a wedding and married life?



Also, why don't you suggest a nice gemstone or CZ ring, they are just as nice and at a fraction of the cost.



Or I guess if it really bugs you, just tell him that you'd like to put the engagement off until you're both more financially stable i.e. when he can afford a ring.



I don't really think you're being selfish, it's a tradition and something you deserve!

Answer 4

If you're telling friends and family about the engagement, I see no problem with being honest about the ring situation - I like the "we're working on it" answer! I'd skip the lie about it being made custom for you; someone will catch you in the lie and it's really hard to regain respect, if you ever can.



There are a number of ways to get an engagement ring. You don't have to have a diamond; go for a semi-precious stone. You could get a very small diamond of high quality (don't get a larger one of poor quality). You could shop on ebay. You could go to a pawn shop.



If you decide to try to buy a diamond, study the three C's. You'll find info online about color, clarity, and cut.

Answer 5

When we got engaged, we had NOTHING. My hubby got me a $300 ring and that was stretching it at the time. I loved it a lot, even though I am into big chunky jewelry, and I showed it off to everyone- I think it was 1/4 carat or less. So we got married and for our fifth anniversary/the birth of our first child (they both happened in the same month) he got me a HUGE 2 carat solitaire-the ring of my dreams. Funny, though, if I ever lost the big one, it would be okay because it is insured and I could get another. If I lost the first one, it would be much worse because that is the ring he gave me when he asked me to start our lives together. The sentiment behind the ring is more important to me than anything.



Best of luck to you both and I hope that your fiance can get over feeling inadequate because he can't get you exactly what he wants to right now. Just keep reassuring him that he is what you are marrying, not the ring.

Answer 6

He cannot go put something on layaway, paying a bit on it every month? When I worked at a jewelry store, we offered a layaway plan. Don't they still do that? Go to the jewelers and ask!



But . . . if your fiance's finances are so messed up that he cannot afford a layaway plan? Then no. One should not even consider getting engaged until he gets his finances in order.



Then too, maybe he needs to change his ideas of a "nice" ring? Ebay is out there. Pawn shops are available. People use family rings . . . giving their fiancees rings that belonged to mom or grandma. Promise rings can be given now, and upgraded later. If he cannot afford huge and enormous . . . well, huge and enormous are not necessary! He needs to downsize his ideas, and start thinking affordable.



http://www.zales.com/sm-promise-rings--sc-2109181.html



Good luck to you.

Answer 7

I'm in that same position. He's asked but he wants me to have the ring to make it "official" I guess you'd say. lol I think it's pretty cute. He's saving for it and wants to do the "perfect" proposal about a year away from the date we set (which is Oct 09). So he's saving his money. As for when people ask, I say that it's being custom made, which it will be when the times comes. We designed it together and it will take some time to be made anywayz. Hopefully that helps ya a lil...you can just say that it's being made...or that he hasn't found the PERFECT ring for you yet. I'm sure he's a thoughtful guy anywayz and wants it to be as perfect to you as you are to him. :o)

Answer 8

i understand your feeling. my husband didn't give me a ring until we had been engaged for a month, and then he got me a ring and we told everyone.



i couldn't tell some people before i got the ring, because they'd say (like my mom) that i wasn't "really engaged" because i didn't have a ring yet. i just didn't want to hear it, so i didn't say anything about my engagement to them.



i like the idea of claiming it's being made custom.

Answer 9

I was maid of honor for a friend in the same situation, and they got a moissanite ring until he could afford a diamond ring. It's a beautiful ring (much better quality than cubic zirconia), and if you didn't know, you couldn't tell the difference. He's planning on giving her a nice big diamond for their fifth anniversary - right now they're spending plenty on their new baby.

Answer 10

When we were married, my hubby gave me a simple 1/4 carat solitaire that he bought from another person.. and then we got matching bands. These rings were stolen by someone we trusted. 7 years later. I got a 1 carat white gold solitaire ring and simple band.



What he can do... is buy you a simple gemstone/birthstone ring in a solitaire setting. Then when he's more affluent... Get you something later on. Good luck.

Answer 11

He wants to do this traditionally and that is with an engagement ring. You are engaged even without a ring, because you are betrothed to each other. Accept no substitutes. Wait for the real ring and you will see it is worth the wait.

Answer 12

I was completely broke when I proposed. My wife at the time starting putting money aside and I didn't know. She thought it was going to bother me, but I knew she wanted something on her finger and the smile on her face confirmed to me that she loved me. It took her a couple of months to save up and with a little looking around at the mall we found our rings. We bought a matching set that cost us $250.00, 2 rings for her and my band. We have been married for 10 years and I've offered to upsize my wife's 1/4 carat diamond on her wedding ring and she refuses to change it. She tells me it reminds me of the hard times we had and how we got through them.

Answer 13

put the wedding off for a while, as in have a LONG engagement because if you cant afford a ring, and most places have financing so you should have a while to pay it off, you cant afford a wedding.

Answer 14

Get the band and setting you want, then put a CZ in the place of the diamond. When money is more available, you can switch out the CZ for the diamond.

Answer 15

Seriously, is your marriage about a ring or about being married? I'd tell anyone who asks, "My marriage is about my love for the man, not what he buys for me. I'm not easily bought." Too many people's marriages end today before the ring is even paid for.

Answer 16

Ok help me understand what is important here.

1) jewlrey

2)what pther people think

3)spending your life with the man of your dreams.

Answer 17

tell him to save 10 to 25 dollars a week till he has enough. or go put one on lay way . you can always look on eBay too.

Answer 18

Wow Mr G has good taste!

Answer 19

Honey if you don't have a ring, you are not engaged. I don't care what he said and you can feel like it and want to marry him and plan to marry him but there is no deal without that ring. simple as that so tell him to get what he can afford, pay on time, get a cracker jack box but it don't mean a thing if you ain't got that ring. What do you think an engagement is? It is a contractual aggreement and the RING is the symbol of that agreement, it was your bride price in the beginnings of the tradition, so look how cheap you are willing to let yourself go No honey No.

Answer 20

He should be able to afford $100 - and you can get diamonds and gold for that amount, or just over! And some include the wedding band, too.

He probably is just thinking that you won't like not getting some big bling.... well, tell him differently! Explain that you don't need a huge rock, just something special which he chooses, and can afford. He'll appreciate your maturity.

http://www.amazon.com/Choice-Yellow-Diamond-Bridal-Clarity/dp/B0010EI3IQ/ref=pd_sbs_jw_img_5/103-2660617-3443818

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000N62HIO/ref=nosim/?tag=yahoo-jewelry-20&creative=380333&creativeASIN=B000N62HIO&linkCode=asn

http://www.blair.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10001&jspStoreDir=BlairCorp&prnbr=53218&pcats=100658%2C100763&productId=39110&categoryId=100763&langId=-1&catalogId=10001&ddkey=PCNSearch

http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?DeptID=11848&CatID=30887&CatTyp=DEP&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1282cac&ProdSeq=6&Cat=engagement&Dep=Jewelry&PCat=Engagement&PCatID=30041&RefPage=ProductList&Sale=&ProdCount=12&RecPtr=&ShowMenu=&TTYP=&ShopBy=0&RefPageName=CategoryAll%252Easpx&RefCatID=30041&RefDeptID=11848&Page=1&CmCatId=11848|30041|30887

http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?DeptID=11848&CatID=40931&CatTyp=DEP&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=13de0d1&ProdSeq=1&Cat=promise&Dep=Jewelry&PCat=Engagement&PCatID=30041&RefPage=ProductList&Sale=&ProdCount=3&RecPtr=&ShowMenu=&TTYP=&ShopBy=0&RefPageName=CategoryAll%252Easpx&RefCatID=30041&RefDeptID=11848&Page=1&CmCatId=MP|billionjewel|30043|30041|40931

Answer 21

You can wear something artificial......or something less expensive.......but the most important thing is the circle (no break, no end) that you put in your heart, not on your finger...take it easy.

Answer 22

say that your ring is being specially made...everything is custom. And that it wont be ready for awhile...

Answer 23

Marry me and Ill get you one of these..



http://www.tiffany.com/Engagement/Item.aspx?subCategoryid=1005