unity candle?

Question

Hello,

I have not been to a wedding in ages and am getting married next year. I keep hearing about unity candles. Are those for a particular kind of religion? Or do you do it just because you want to? What exactly do you do? I am Lutheran getting married in a Lutheran church (LCMS not ELCA) so I wasn't sure if this was something I would be expected to do or possibly not supposed to do if it is for another religion only.
Thanks!

Answer 1

Over the past 20 years, unity candles have become quite popular with modern wedding ceremonies as a symbolic gesture of love and union. A unity candle features two taper candles on either side of a larger pillar candle. In the ceremony, close family members (often the mothers or parents of the couple) will light the taper candles. The couple will then each take a taper candle and light the larger candle together to symbolize the love and loyalty to one another created by the union of two hearts



Though commonly performed in Christian weddings, the unity candle ceremony is not Christian in origin and is in fact prohibited in many churches. In all likelihood, it is 30-40 years old. Some sources trace it back to the wedding of Luke and Laura on the soap opera "General Hospital."[citation needed]



Luke and Laura might have popularized the unity candle, but they didn't invent it. Luke arrived on the show in 1978 and they were married in 1981. Protestants in Illinois were using the unity candle at least as early as 1976.



At a protestant wedding in British Columbia in May 1969, the bride and groom arranged for two tall candles (symbolizing themselves) to be lit early in the ceremony. When they were pronounced "husband and wife" they tilted the candles so that the flames merged and burned together as one. They do not recall seeing this done before, but began seeing similar ceremonies at other weddings thereafter. They believe this may be the origin of the unity candle ceremony. Ref: http://www.chattaway.com/unitycandle/



Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unity_candle"

Answer 2

I am a WELS member and we are having a unity candle in our wedding service this May. We were told it can either be used to signify the joining of two families (by having our mothers light taper candles on either side of the unity candle and then during the service we take those two candles and light the main unity candle together) or to signify God's presence in our marriage (by having the outside tapers lit before the service and us using them to light the main unity candle.) I've never heard it forbid in a Lutheran Church, but I'm sure each pastor has an opinion. I don't think it's ever something you HAVE to do though, so even if it is accepted and you don't want to, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Answer 3

To my knowledge they aren't specific to any particular religion. They way it works is like this. When the parents walk in, each set of parents go and light a small candle next to the big unity candle. Then sometime during the ceremony you and the groom go and take the two small candles and lite the big candle with them. Then you blow out the small candles. It's suppose to symbolize ya'll leaving your family's to make your own family. I think that it's a beautiful tradition and you can get some very pretty candles and candle holders. If you choose not to include this in your wedding though it's totally up to you. I've been to plenty of weddings that didn't do it. Good Luck!

Answer 4

The unity candle is just another unity ceremony like the wine or handfasting or rose & vessel. It isn't related to any one particular religion.



Usually the mothers of the couple light a taper after they are escorted into the church or room. After the ring vow the couple then each take a taper & light the center, larger candle to symboize the joining of 2 lives, 2 families.

Sometimes the tapers are blown out symbolizing the families they've left & the new one started. Others leave the tapers burning symbolizing that though they are united, they are still individuals.



Some officiants allow this while others do not saying that it takes away from the vows & ring exchange. You need to talk to YOUR officiant.

Answer 5

A unity candle and it's tapers are used to signify the unifaction of two families. Normally the eldest female from both families light the tapers and then during the ceremony the couple then uses the two tapers to light the unity candle. Bringing the idea of two families into one. Two hearts as one. You can talk to your minister about the candle and see if it's ok to use one in your ceremony but there is no real kind of religion behind using it. It doesn't matter your religion you can use it if you so wish during your own ceremony.

Normally the unity candle is used because you want to not because you have to.

Answer 6

Unity candles are a very beautiful part of the ceremony. You have 1 pillar candle and 2 tapered candles and you light the smaller tapered candles individually (if you have padrinos for this they light them and give it to you lit) then you both walk over to the pillar candle (depending how your wedding is set up you may just stay put) and you light the pillar candle together using your individual candles. Its a beautiful part of the ceremony symbolizing the union of two individuals uniting as one. Each individual flame is burning independently, yet when the pillar candle is lit there is a new flame burning symbolizing the union and passion that burns between the new couple, but the smaller candles stay lit because they are still their own person within each other. Its so beautiful that its difficult to put into words. I dont think this needs to be set to only a certain religion. I was married in a catholic ceremony (We're both catholic) and it was beautiful.

Answer 7

Hi! I found this article at customweddingsolutions.com. They have just about everything you need for a wedding as well articles and guides and checklists and stuff.





The Unity Ceremony: 2 Hearts, 1 Love



In the past decade, the Unity Ceremony has become a popular and symbolic segment of the wedding day. The lighting of the Unity Candle represents the joining of two lives and hearts into one. During the wedding ceremony, usually directly after the exchange of rings, the bride and groom each take a lighted taper and light the Unity Candle together. Music, a poem, or a reading can accompany the lighting of the candle. The Unity Ceremony is also a great way to include children. The couple?s children can join in the ceremony by standing with them as they light the Unity Candle. Couples often allow older children to use their own tapers and join in lighting the center candle. Unity Candle sets are available in many styles and themes. There is even a ?Blended Family? candle set for couples who want to emphasize the joining of their families.



One alternative to the candle ceremony, the Sand Blending Ceremony, is quickly gaining popularity. This ceremony is better suited for outdoor weddings because you do not have to fear the awkward moment that is sure to arise if a breeze extinguishes one your candles. To reflect the joining and blending of two lives into one, we suggest filling one large cylinder with white sand (about 1/3 full) to represent the couple?s spiritual foundation and to fill the other two cylinders each with a different colored sand to represent the individuals. During the ceremony, the bride and groom simultaneously pour their own colored sand into the larger cylinder. This ceremony can also be adjusted to include children by allowing each child to add his/her own color of sand.



Sample Wording for Unity Ceremony:



(Groom) and (Bride), the two separate candles symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate sets of friends. I ask that each of you take on of the lit candles and that together you light the center candle.

The individual candles represent your lives before today. Lighting the center candle represents that your two lives are now joined to one light, and represents the joining together of your two families and sets of friends to one.



Sand Ceremony Sample Wording:



(Groom) and (Bride), you have committed here today to share the rest of your lives with each other. Today, this relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand one, representing you, _______ and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other representing you, _______, and all that you were and all that you are, and all that you will ever be. As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be.

Answer 8

It is not associated with a particular religious belief. You have three candles...usually the one in the center is bigger and often decorated with beads or a family initial or emblem...the two on either side are plain taper candles either in white or one of your wedding colors. In my wedding, my mother lit one and my husbands mother lit the other..after our vows my husband and I each took the candle our mothers lit and jointly lit the middle candle. This part of the ceremony signifies the joining of two families as one! I've seen this part of the ceremony done many different ways.....usually a special song is sang or played during the lighting of the unity candle! Our mothers lit their candle when they were escorted in.

Answer 9

Lutherans do Unity candles at their ceremonies. I like them, I think its a neat idea!



Good luck!

Answer 10

no longer inevitably, some human beings may only really hate the mild, claiming they only are not photogenic so that they steer away from lights, yet they're easily vampires or structure-shifters. from time to time both. also, have you ever tried lights a candle interior the darkish, like for the time of a achieveable outage? by technique of the time you come across a lighter and candle and all that ****, many times the mild comes back on.

Answer 11

Not a lot of people have these. Out of the last 20 weddings we have been to, have only seen it done twice. Once at the ceremony, and once at the dinner. Not a big fan of it - seems fakey.

Answer 12

I skipped the unity candle at my ceremony. It's not necessary, the priest told us it's only to add "fluff" to the ceremony.

Answer 13

unity candle is meant to unify both families - but you can also opt for rose or sand ceremony.