Planning a wedding, but not as financially stable as we should be?

Question

My fiance and I are planning our wedding for November of this year. We've taken a break b/c my dad is ill and plans are very much up in the air b/c of this. I have bad credit and debt, and my fiance thought his credit was fine until he checked his report today & found out that he has an account in collections. He moved here from another state, & his dad never told him about the letters coming in. He would be fine w/going to JOP but I want a real wedding - church then reception. Problem is, we're broke & our families aren't able to help much. We want to get married so badly, but I'm afraid it will be a bad idea until we can get some $ saved. How do I tell him we should push it back? The date is very special to him, as it is a way of honoring his late grandmother who pretty much raised him. We are really stressing out about this and have no idea what to do. He could do without all the traditional plans, etc., but not me. I don't mind a small wedding, but I want something more than JOP.

Answer 1

why don't you just have it next year on the same day. That way you guys can save, and make plans that could lower the cost of the wedding in the long run. And stretching it out means you can buy things like the dress, the shoes, the invitations, and other small stuff over time instead of all at once, which will help with the cost as well.

Answer 2

Well you just have to decide what is more important. Having the wedding you really want, or getting married and starting your life together. You can always have a very small modest church wedding with cake and punch at the church, then in a year or whenever throw yourselves an anniversary party that equals what you want for the reception. If you want to hold out till you have enough money for the dream that's fine, but do you realistically know how long that will be? And what will you guys do in the interim? If you're going to move in together and live a life as a couple, just have the modest wedding and work together to build up the nest egg you need for the future. And remember, a nice reception is a great dream, but having stable finances and a home is more important, so you guys really need to think together about your priorities are. Good luck.

Answer 3

You definitely should not ever extend your budget on planning on the wedding. Maybe put the wedding off until November of 2009. This gives you time to pay off some debt, get your fiance's credit cleared up and save up some money for the wedding.



Remember, a wedding lasts only 45 minutes or so. It's the marriage that lasts a lifetime and starting out by getting into more debt over a wedding is not a good way to start a marriage.

Answer 4

I'm a wedding videographer and I've seen a lot of money saving things through the years, so I've got some good info for you, but first a word about your finances.



You should definitely take immediate steps to correct your credit and debt problems. It may be equally hard to correct money problems while single as it will when married, but marriage will introduce lots of other stressful issues and you don't want the deck stacked against you. Money is the number one cause of fights in a marriage. Get as close to a debt free lifestyle as possible before marriage, and strive to stay that way after. After marriage share the bills and bank account and be accountable to each other. I recommend any of Dave Ramsey's books.



In order to pull off the following, you will have to be willing to accept help from friends and family and not have the goal of impressing wedding guests with elaborate food and drink and location. If you can do that you can have a beautiful wedding that guests will enjoy and you will grow closer to your friends and family in the process.



Use money saving strategies like the following:

- Check with local dry cleaners who specialize in wedding dress cleaning. Sometimes brides will drop off their dresses for cleaning and preserving and will never pick them up. (maybe they got divorced and didn't want it anymore) After a long time the dry cleaners may try to sell them or will donate the dresses to charity. If you ask the manager, he may be willing to let you look through the dresses and purchase one. Then just have it altered to taste. (estimated savings = $1000 - $2000)

- Ask family and friends to help make finger sandwiches and hors d'oeuvres. A wholesale club is a great place for things like meatballs and other pre made apps. (estimated savings = $1500)

- Consider an outdoor wedding at a state park or a backyard wedding so there will be no cost for a church or venue. (estimated savings = $2000)

- Ask friends and relatives to find or make things like programs, ribbons and bouquets. (estimated savings = $500)

- Pick a common color dress that most of your bridesmaids should already have, like black or white and buy a matching colored belt or sash of your choosing. Ask the groomsmen to wear dark suits or jackets and have them buy matching ties the color of the bridesmaids’ belts. If you save the bridal party money on buying a dress they will only wear once or renting a tux they will only wear for a day, they will be more likely to help with other things. (estimated savings = grateful friends)

- Get a friend who's interested in photography to take pictures with a digital camera. If they don't know how, borrow a married friends wedding album and have your friend make a note of all the poses and shots. This will give your friend a demo wedding if they ever choose to continue photography. Don't have a friend? call the local colleges' art departments and put the word out for a student photographer who will work for a small fee and give you the photos on a cd-rom. Then let family print the ones they want at walmart or some other photo shop. (estimated savings = $1500 - $4000)

- Video? Same thing, ask a friend or find a college student and borrow a home video camera. Make sure they use a tripod and set up at the back center of the ceremony. This will look very good as long as it is an outdoor wedding. It will look not so great at an indoor wedding with low light. (estimated savings = $1000)

- For the cakes, put your feelers out with friends and family for someone who loves to bake and doesn't charge a fortune. Don't be surprises if you find a little old lady who would do it for pennies per serving just because she loves to bake. ( estimated savings = I have no idea what cakes cost)



I've seen all of these ideas at weddings I've attended. There's no reason you couldn't pull them off too and have a big wedding feel for a small wedding price. Good luck.

Answer 5

Either Plan something in a backyard for that date, and have family members compromise to help with the food. My family is hispanic and my grandmother and aunts are used to cooking a lot for family gatherings. Honestly, my mom spent less than $500 on my brother's wedding, and it wasn't bad. It was simple, with a two tiered cake from Sam's Club (they have wedding designs) Stuff bought at Walmart, and on sales. The most expensive things, The reception site(beautiful big backyard w/pool) and the food(grandma's and aunts) and the dress(gift from bride's mother) were donated by loved ones. Everything else fell into place after that.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I can understand your wanting a "real" wedding, but getting out of debt and stabilizing your finances needs to take top priority over a wedding reception. I think trying to find extra work (if time at all permits), being frugal, and paying off debt needs to come before any wedding planning. Also consider that when/if you get married, your debt becomes his problem and vica versa.



When the time comes to get married, you may want to do a cake and punch type reception right there at the church.

Answer 7

Hey gypsy, There are several things you can do to clean up your credit.



1:Go see a credit counselor. They can negociate your accounts with you and help you get them paid. Improve your credit rate, and get you out of debt in 3-4 years.



2: Think about getting a second job for a while to get your debts paid off, and save money for your wedding.



3: Sell off your stuff on e-bay like excessive jewelry.

4: He needs to get that account that went to collections cleaned up as well.



There are a few more things I could tell you but I would end up writing a book. HEHE!



And who says you HAVE to have a big wedding. You can do lots of things for your wedding with a small budget. There are lots of budget concious brides that can help you. Don't be afraid to ask for people on here.



Good luck. :)

Answer 8

Don't overextend youself. You can still have a small wedding--just family on a budget.



Don't place too much importance on the actual wedding and party though because it sounds kinda like that's what you are doing. It's the marriage that is actually important.

Answer 9

A lot of states have adorable wedding chapels that have pretty nice receptions at a reasonable price. They look and have the feel of a church wedding for tight budgets.



And a quick reception idea is have it at your house or a close relatives house.

Answer 10

I think you could pull off a small wedding by November. Just save what you can and buy only what you need.

If you do want to push it back though just sit down your fiance and explain it all to him. He should understand. Good luck and Congrats on getting married!

Answer 11

cash only for a cake and punch reception in your church hall. 2 in the afternoon.



nice paper plates, punch cups, napkins, coffee cups. get old ladies like me to help. we love to help.



invites printed on computer

one attendant, simple flowers



get married in your church. some churches have a small chapel off the the side for 50 people or so.



it's easy to find a nice dress. He wears a nice wool suit.



friend take pictures. Budget: 1000 bucks tops.



edited to add: honey, you don't have $5000 for a wedding! pay off all debts, may i recommend dave ramsey and mary hunt to learn how to live debt free? as a couple, please attend financial peace university. good luck!

Answer 12

how much are u wanting to spend. my wedding is $6000 for it all we are waitng till taxes come and then do it so we knpw we have it. we are getting married in may. so from now till then i will shop the internet and buy little things for now and save them till the wedding it help to look for things. google cheap wedding ideas and you willl see so many things that will work for you. you can have a lovely wedding for a good price you dont have to go overboard.

Answer 13

My dad and his new wife had a small ceremony at her parents house. There was just a little bit of decoration and my dad didn't even get a tux but it was still very sweet and pretty and on there one year anniversery they went to Vegas

Answer 14

I go to a Lutheran church where the minister does not charge for the ceremony nor do we charge for the reception hall afterwards. There may be other places who do the same. I will say, though, that the minister does expect the couple to go through pre-marital counseling for some time before the ceremony.

Answer 15

Go to City Hall, if you are in love it won't matter, have a fancy wedding later when you guys are more stable. You could always write Oprah.

Answer 16

If the grandmother is passed on there is nothing to miss by not getting hitched on that date ,,, that's out ,,, you , want a wedding ,,, so ok later,,,, you got now money,,,, work harder,,,,and not don't get married right now it will cost more , live at home save , or find a rich guy,,,, Ray In Monterey

Answer 17

Do you want a husband to share your life or do you want a wedding? Do the JOP and save up later for a big bang! You can have your cake and eat it too!

Answer 18

getting married is a waste of time and money. Save your money for something useful like gas or groceries