How to tactfully send out wedding announcements to those not invited & Wedding Invitations to those who are?

Question

We are planning a destination wedding, w/ a maximum of 30 people (including the wedding party). I have a very large family, thus, I will not be able to invite them all. I would like to send wedding invites to those who are invited to the wedding. But I would also like to send wedding announcements to those who are not invited. How would I word those wedding announcements?

Also, because we are having a destination wedding, it will serve as our wedding, reception, honeymoon, & family vacation for that year. So, I will not be having a separate reception here at home, & I don't even want a bridal shower. Because I will not be having either of those near home, I would like to word on the wedding invites something along the lines of "If you cannot make it to the wedding but would like to give a card, send it to...." And something like that as well for the announcements, but it needs to be worded differently, I feel we need to explain why they are not invited to the wedding? I know it sounds greedy, but most people have a wedding shower &/or a wedding reception where all of their family can attend & give gifts or cards. We will not be doing this.

Have do I finagle this?

Answer 1

What? You should not be expecting gifts from ANYONE. And you're not some kind of saint because you aren't having a bridal shower. It doesn't sound like you qualify for one, anyway.



Don't send these announcements at all. You don't owe an explanation to anyone as to why they weren't invited, they'll learn about your wedding by word of mouth, and most important, your plans make you sound incredibly greedy.

Answer 2

There is no special wording needed because none of that belongs on an announcement or invitation.



Don't worry about the announcements yet because you don't send those until AFTER you are married. As for invitations, no mention of gifts or cards should be made at all. If people want to send you something, they know where you and your family live. Gifts are generally sent well in advance of the wedding. You're making this way more complicated than it needs to be.



EDIT:

"I don't expect gifts from those attending the wedding as I know the expense involved."



You should not expect gifts from anyone, especially not those who were not invited. Do not mention anything about gifts or cards in your marriage announcements. You are simply announcing the fact that you are now married.

Answer 3

An invitation is send before the wedding inviting the person



An wedding announcement is send out after the wedding, telling people you got married

Most have a picture of the couple



They are not the same thing

You should not send out an announcement until after you are married



The bride do not have a say in the bridal shower

If someone gives you one, you are the honor guest and go with it

I would just tell people who may give you a shower you do not want on

If someone gives you one any way, that okay, the bride can only ask not to have a shower, it's not really up to her

Answer 4

You can't even hint that you are looking for a gift from people you're not inviting to any sort of celebration regarding your wedding. Include your return address on the envelope containing the card announcing your nuptials. They will be smart enough to know where to send the gift. Keep in mind that some people also don't give gifts even when they are attending a destination wedding because it's such a burden just to get there.

Answer 5

It's not your decision as to whether or not you have a bridal shower. You keep your mouth shut unless someone says something - if someone offers you one and you don't want it, thank them but politely refuse it.



You NEVER, EVER put anything like "If you cannot make it to the wedding but would like to give a card, send it to...." That is SO RUDE. You NEVER mention anything about gifts or cards on a wedding invitation/announcement, even if it's to say "No gifts/cards, please." DO NOT be so rude as to print this on your invitations or announcements. If someone wants to send you a card or gift, then they'll do so on their own, without prompting from you. If they need your address, then they'll ask you or your family members, or they'll simply refer to the return address label on your invites/announcements/last year's Christmas card.



You NEVER explain to someone that they are not invited to your wedding. You are entitled to invite whomever you please and have any kind of wedding you want, and you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why they're not invited. It's *extremely* rude to point out to them that they're not invited. You just don't send them an invitation - period, end of story. If they are rude enough to ask you if they're invited or why they're not invited, you just reply with something like, "We wanted to keep it small" or "We couldn't possibly have invited everyone we love!" And then you change the topic or you walk away.



Wording for the invitations:

The pleasure of your company is requested

at the wedding of

Jane Anne Smith

and

Thomas Andrew Jones

date

time

place

RSVP info

(and for a destination wedding, I'd also include a separate card or two with details about hotel and flight information, and things like that)



Wording for announcements:

Jane Anne Smith

and

Thomas Andrew Jones

joyfully announce that they were united in marriage

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Negril, Jamaica

The newlyweds will reside at

123 Main Street

Anytown, State, ZIP Code

(and you can include a photo if you'd like)

Answer 6

You can look up wedding announcement wording on the internet.



You do NOT offer explanations as to why they were not invited.

You do NOT mention gifts. Never ever.



IF they WANT TO send a gift I would assume they know your address- it would be the return address on the announce envelopes- or they could contact your parents for it.



the announcement is just that. NOTHING more.



Mr and Mrs Your Parent's Names

are proud to announce the marriage of their daughter

Your Name

to

Your Groom's Name

son of Grooms parent's Names

on

Date you got married.

in

Place you got married.

Answer 7

You are setting yourself up to be hated and resented by the family you are leaving behind.

At least have a reception for them to attend when you get back. This is what is wrong with destination/cruise weddings - it is very ego-centric of the couple to not include everyone who should otherwise care about them and want to share their joy. What you are planning will create hard feelings and resentment, and is a pronouncement that you are somehow not interested in being part of the larger family structure.



That is unfortunate, at best. There is no need to have a high cost reception when you return - it could be very low key, just so long as the family and friends are included.



If you sent invitations to that inner circle you feel worthy of coming on the cruise, and invitations to the rest to a reception when you return, that would be exclusionary enough. But not including any other people in any kind of celebration, and then expecting them to ever communicate with you again- much less send you a card - is pretty rich.



It's not a good way to start a life together.

That is, unless you will be inhabiting a planet of your own together.

Answer 8

It is not rude at all to announce to those who can not attend. However do not solicit anything from them either. Just send a short but sweet announcement stating something like:

Mr. and Mrs. Jones

Are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter ?????????? to ????????????.

Time

Date

Venue