Getting married as a fatherless bride, MIL doesn't think I should honour his memory at my wedding?

Question

I'm getting married in March, but my father died when I was 17. I wish I could have him walk me down the aisle and have a father- daughter dance but unfortuneatly that's not possible. So I was talking the other day about how to include his memory in my wedding. My soon to be mother in law is pretty insistent that I shouldn't have any sort of moments dedicated to him because she says a wedding should be happy, many guests never met him, and especially bc of the circumstances around his death. My father was an alcoholic for most of his adult life (partly I think bc he was a veteran) and ended up dying of liver disease. But, he honestly was such a good man and an even better father who loved his family. He was even so dedicated to never losing control around us kids that I never knew about his struggles with alcoholism until I was at least 13. I can understand her opinion and I don't want to put a damper on people having a good time or upset anyone but he's my dad. I love and miss him so It just makes me really sad to think that I should just gloss over him on a day I wish more than anything he was here for. So I was just looking for some unbiased opinions on whether my MIL is right, or some ways that I could honour his memory

Answer 1

a wedding is no place for a memorial.

Answer 2

MIL needs to mind her own business. This is your wedding, not her wedding and your fiance (not you) needs to tell her that or to basically drop the subject.



I don't think you need to make a public declaration on it, shrine or announcement he's not there (everyone knows already) because it make it a memorial for him at those moments instead of a celebration for you but just simple things that are meaningful to you.



My dad died when I was in my young 20's before I met my husband, so I understand your position in it. I didn't get that walk down the aisle, I had picked my uncle (my mom's brother) but he got hurt a few weeks before my wedding and couldn't do it. Oddly enough, my father-in-law ended up doing it and in the end I'm actually so glad I picked him. My FIL has been my 2nd dad, my in-laws are awesome, they refer to me as a daughter or sister, not an in-law.



As far as most people didn't know your dad... all my side of the guests knew my dad.



Here are subtle ways I figured out how to acknowledge him without drawing too much attention to it:



Invitation: I figured out a way to put my dad's name on my invitations. We were paying for our own wedding but wanted to issue the invite from our parents anyway, but dead people can't host anything so we issued the invite from ourselves and under our names we had daughter of Mrs Joyce and the late Jerry XXXX and then son of Dr Janice and Mr Michael XXX. Since my dad was dead, we put our mom's names first, plus a professional title goes first regardless gender (my MIL is a physician).



Date - I got married on what would have been my dad's birthday, the day of the week for us just happened to line up. Really only my immediate family and my dad's siblings knew that.



Bouquet - I had a bouquet buckle/charm on my bouquet that had his picture in it. I had ones made for my brothers too.



Centerpiece - I had a memorial candle made up that was at my mom's table, it was similar to the rest of the table's centerpieces. Unless you got up close to it, you couldn't tell it was different than the other ones. My mom still has it.



Father/daughter dance - I opted out of that, I didn't have any dance in it's place or do any announcement of it. My husband still had his mother/son dance. I wasn't taking that from them because I didn't get it, even though they both offered to nix theirs too. I knew his mom probably looked forward to that his whole life so I couldn't take that from her.



Edit - I attended a wedding this weekend where the bride doesn't have her dad anymore and the groom had a sister who died (young) so they found ways to honor both of them.



Reception - they had a table of people no longer with them and their pictures.. her dad, his sister, grandparents and their dog. I didn't hear anyone say anything negative about it.



Father/daughter dance - she started out dancing with her step-dad and after about 30 second, they had everyone come dance with them who was there with their dad.

Answer 3

Wow...Just Wow. Your soon to be mother in law has nothing to do with your father and should mind her own beeswax. You go ahead and honor your father. Put a chair out with his picture on top of it, or tie a red bow to an empty chair whatever you want to do....he is Your father, and still very much a part of your life. Ignore her.

Answer 4

YOUR WEDDING not Mother in laws.

Many ways to honor those that cannot attend.

You could carry a picture of him. Maybe some treasured gift he gave you. OTHERS DO NOT NEED TO KNOW. You can say something about what you will do or after say what you did do.



. I can understand her opinion. Good for you. She and everyone else has one.

SO DO YOU Only YOU have your point of view of your Dad.



He's my dad. Not your MIL.s DAD not your grooms not anyone else other than your siblings DAD.



Dad may have done bad things. He did do one thing right. He had YOU.

Answer 5

This is your wedding,do as you wish.

Answer 6

Sweetie its YOUR day and you can remember your father in anyway that you please. In my cousin/godsister s wedding she has a table with a picture up of her dad at the reception. It was not sad at all. Then my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins took pictures with her holding the picture of her dad. Your MIL is wrong its your day and you want to make sure that your dad is apart of your special since you cant be there physically.

Answer 7

Your MIL should have NO say in your wedding planning.

Answer 8

Kind of agree with MIL. This is a wedding not a memorial. Do something personal to you. Having a public memorial of him makes your guest uncomfortable. Like they need to bring it up to you. Oh so sorry your dad isn't here with you. Not should be happening on your wedding day. Carry his favorite flower in your bouquet.

My father died six months before I got wed. I had his wedding ring with me on my wedding day. I didn't need to make an announcement, it was a comfort to me to carry his ring

Answer 9

I can only say what I would do. I would have nothing, not one item. Reason: He is going to be in your mind anyway and you may be happy/sad and he would not want that. You will be super emotional on your wedding day (you may not realize it or think not) and should be the happy bride. One look at whatever you choose to use might "set you off" so celebrate the day, your day and understand that he is watching and you are very happy. It's really none of MIL's business; but, I agree with her. Her reasons are her own or she could be just trying to help you. Saying nicely, a wedding is no place for a memorial. At another time have something just for him.

Answer 10

To an extent your MIL is right; guests attend to see you and your fiancé marry, and celebrate that only. If you a memory of him maybe have his favourite flower in your bouquet or his birth stone on your jewellery. During the reception you could have one of his favourite songs in the line up. Those who know him will know and appreciate the sentiment. Those who don't just enjoy the wedding as is.

Answer 11

ory at my wedding? Gov't is killing you at night with high frequency electricity. Theotokos Virgin Mary gave prayers to "Schema-nun Antonia" on how to save aborted babies from hell. If you pray these prayers diligently, aborted babies are released from hell. On each painted nail there are 40 demons. Smoking is censer to the devil. Using foul language calls upon Pagan deities (aka demons); Holy Spirit departs on 7 meters. People who use drugs see demons who cleverly disguise themselves as ghosts and aliens. America will be last country to switch to Euro (antichrist's world currency). Contraceptives = abortion; using contraceptives for 1 year = 5 aborted kids. Miscarriages happen because of high heels; cesarean because of tight pants (second generation cesarean will be infertile). Unbaptized aborted/miscarried/unborn babies burn in hell for 33 and a half years; if pregnant, keep the kid and deliver at home because kids are chipped using IVs and vaccines in hospitals. Dentists and doctors chip patients secretly. Ultrasound leads to mark of the beast; don't do ultrasound, please. Abortion leads to breast cancer; a demon is released from hell for each aborted kid. Dogs can become possessed; don't keep dogs inside you home [Pelageya of Ryazan]. Walmart has technology to administer mark of the beast to those who have cat bacteria in their stomachs; stay away from cats [Afanasiy Sidyachiy]. Next false flag is the Statue of Liberty. Above earth there is ice (hemisphere); when rockets go up they bring ice down from upper sky to lower sky; ice stuck in lower sky will fall on us during Apocalypse. Earth is flat; earth stands on 3 pillars (the Most Holy Trinity); pillars stand on water at zero Kelvin; underneath this ice there is a bubble; and then the abyss. Zodiac is planetary prison of demons; don't believe in horoscopes or you'll exhibit the traits of the trapped demons. Most thoughts and dreams are from demons; demons never do good. Sleep fully clothed; pray the Jesus prayer. Pray to your guardian angel to have normal sleep. Vyacheslav Krasheninnikov was the last prophet before Apostle John (who wrote the Book of Revelation), Enoch, Elijah, resurrected Seraphim of Sarov, and resurrected Sergius of Radonezh will preach against the antichrist. Humans were created about 7525 years ago. Birds participate in time creation. It's a sin to kill birds. Dinosaurs live under our level; they will get out through sinkholes and lakes; to kill them, go for their nerves. Save the birds; but kill the dinosaurs. First dinosaur will come out of Volga River in Russia. Scientists don't see dinosaurs under our level because of radiation. Sinkholes happen because people dig for resources underground and because earth is heating up. Demons grow human skin (from a sample taken during abduction) and put it on so as to look like us. Demons will invite people to be healed inside their UFOs; those who go will be like zombies after. Gov't provides demons with diamonds and allows demons to abduct people. If you're being abducted, slowly pray the Jesus prayer. Don't panic. Demons use diamonds and souls to power their UFO craft. The bigger the diamond, the more it lasts. Demons have 4 UFO bases: 1)moon 2)inside fake mountain Kailash in Tibet 3)in lake Baikal in Russia 4)in Atlantis which is underneath the Mariana Trench in Pacific Ocean. There are no aliens. Nobody lives on other planets. Airplanes that go down are hit by demons because they need the airspace to fight Jesus. Antichrist is pale with red eyes. He's possessed by Satan since he's 12 years old [Lavrentiy Chernigovskiy]. He flies super fast; deceived people will say: "Christ is here; Christ is there" when he's flying from one city to the next very fast. He wears gloves to hide long nails. He's surrounded by demons who appear as angels of light. Antichrist will trick people that he can do mountain moving and resurrection using holograms; fire from the sky is real because of pollution gases in the atmosphere. Antichrist will have food only for 6 months; then he will feed his 666ed people flour from mashed up turtles (Tavrion Batozskiy), but this won't be enough because 666ed people are 10 times as angry and 7 times as hungry as normal people even though 666ed people became shorter (3-4 feet tall = 80 - 120 cm) because nanochips do function of organs (organs diminish) [Nilus Myrrhgusher]. If you have a lot of nanochips in your forearm, then you will not be able to make proper Orthodox sign of the cross (last mercy for you will be to cut your forearm off). Nanochips are sprayed by the gov't using chemtrails; they're also in gov't food and medicine; so, eat food from your own garden. In case garden is destroyed by ice from the sky, have chickens for eggs and goats for milk (Paisios). Lipstick contains cells of aborted fetuses, dog fat, and placenta; human flesh is in McDonalds, Pepsi, toothpaste, antiaging, anticancer, vaccines, perfume, etc.; that's why you should not be using anything that modern society has to offer. You're better off hiding within a 10-12 people group in order to escape Apocalypse. During Apocalypse, Chrtistians will eat dirt from under pussywillowtree as it's filled with tears of Theotokos Virgin Mary; this water will flee if a 666ed person tries to get it. Barcode is Druid black magic curse; QRcode is Mayan curse; when food is scanned, it becomes dead because laser is a substance from demons. Don't go into a UFO to be healed by demons. Green 666 is given by isotope rays on wrist or forehead when people stretch hands to receive small plastic grey card with no name on it (World Passport). It doesn't just have to be during this procedure (could be anything you sign up for or anywhere where there is a secret scanner); biometrics (fingerprints, eyes scan) or getting picture for passport are very dangerous because they could mark you secretly. Gabriel Urgebadze said that they do it on index finger when they scan your finger. Basically, try to avoid new documents at all cost. Police will microchip and isotope ray people on highways. Chipped people will be influenced by computers to take grey plastic card; but when they do, green mark by isotope rays is given on forehead/wrist. Food stores will isotope ray people too. Antichrist will also release prisoners to mark people. Reject 666 at all cost because it leads to permanent hell. If you're about to be marked, pray the Jesus prayer. Hide with Orthodox Christians to escape 666; leave all electronics behind so that antichrist's minions can't track you; burn documents because they're from Satan. The Most Holy Trinity gives you a name during baptism; devil gives an antiname during antibaptism (ex. Social Security Number). People who die with these Satanic documents go to concentration camp in hell to await Final Judgement; once the BEAST Computer is burned down, souls will be released for Final Judgement. That's why you should give back documents of your deceased relatives back to the gov't so that the gov't cancels these digital antichristian names given during antibaptism by the beast system; or just burn these documents because gov't could get upset and could send demons to mark you because of this outright act of defiance. Prophecy from half a millenium ago describes Final Judgement like this: Jesus was very upset with people who had little boards (plastic cards) in their hands because they wanted discount from the antichrist. Give to charity in the name of Archangel Michael; he rescues people from temporary hell twice a year [at midnight between September 18 and September 19 and similarly on November 20-21; pray at these times on your knees remembering the deceased by names (adding "and relatives by flesh up to Adam") so that they are rescued if they're in hell] (or brings them up a level, that is, to a level with less punishment; eventually, people are freed). Feed the pigeons; when pigeons bow down, people are saved from temporary hell. It's a big sin to remember the dead with wreaths (because demons put these wreaths on their necks if they're in hell with their hands tied up behind their back while hanging by their hands), meat, alcohol, sweets, and worldly music. Demons print icons on saints in newspapers so that you throw these newspapers in the trash blaspheming these saints. Crosses on soles of shoes and back of pants are blasphemy. Demons make carpets with crosses and put them on sidewalks so that people walk on crosses. Playing cards mock how Jesus suffered on the cross: clubs (cross on which Jesus was crucified), diamonds (four nails Jesus was crucified with), hearts (sponge with vinegar that Jesus was given to drink), spades (spear with which Jesus was pierced). Cremation is devil worship; only blasphemers such as Lenin should be burned; if Lenin is buried, earth will be polluted, and China will attack Russia because of this. After China attacks Russia, Ruski Orthodox Tsar (shown by resurrected Seraphim of Sarov) will come to power in Russia; this Tsar will slay traitors inside church and gov't; as a result, Russia will be the only country not under the antichrist. Ecumenism has 263 heresies; each heresy leads to hell. In 2006 in Moscow (that's why Moscow will sink), representatives from most religions signed a document where it says that all religions worship the same Supreme Being [aka the devil]. Priests who participate in ecumenism will have Pagans walking on their heads in hell. Arkhimandrite Antonin Kapustin left a prophecy that John the Baptist's living space will become a church and it will be blessed by forerunner of antichrist. Patriarch Kirill of Russia blessed this church. When priests pray for current gov't (instead of praying for future Tsar), Jesus gets up from His throne and turns His back to them. Forgive me.

Answer 12

You's father is always here and looking you. According to me, you have just need to feel, your father is here and always with you. He wants to see happy on your wedding. So just enjoy!!

Answer 13

I was in your situation before and I think that you should do whatever you want. Your wedding day is YOUR wedding day. Not your mother in laws. The whole reason your relationship exists is because you exist. That’s because of your father. If you want to pay honor to the man, you should. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Stand your ground because I 100 percent guarantee not everyone will agree with her. For anyone who has lost a loved one they know the significance of what you want to do. I’m sure when she’s no longer alive she would like for her son to remember her. Moving along you can put an item of clothing he owned if it was white in your wedding gown. Have it sewed in. Have a reserved seat for him at the ceremony or reception. Or keep photos out. Or have him mentioned during your ceremony. Choose from the heart. It’s a beautiful touch. Tell your husband to tell his mom to stick a cork in it. I would’ve been so offended had someone told me that. I have a big mouth so no good

Answer 14

This is personal.



My father died about 10 years before I got married. Everyone wishes their dad could be at their wedding, but sometimes life's circumstances just don't make that possible. When we married, I had his parents walk down the aisle, followed by my mom with my nephew (he was 20 at the time), followed by me and my husband. It wasn't a traditional thing, but I liked what it said--we are approaching this marriage TOGETHER.



I also really don't think a wedding is the place for memorials. Those are very important, but they are their own separate occasion. A wedding is a celebrations, and I've noticed that any time there is some sort of memorial at a wedding, it really is just overlooked.

Answer 15

Whose wedding is it? Your MIL's or you and your fiance's?



Ok then. You and your fiance get to decide.



Are you sure you're old enough to get married?

Answer 16

IMO, your feelings are way more important than your MIL's...this is YOUR wedding. No one is perfect girl, but I'm sure he loved you and you obviously loved him. That is all that matters, enjoy your wedding.

Answer 17

It is your wedding not hers. Your future husband is the only other with an opinion that matters and I hope he does not agree with his mother.



Do what ever you like to remember him if that is what you want.



Some examples. If he was a veteran by chance are there any old military buddies of his you may still be close too if so ask one to were his old dress uniform and walk you down the in place of your father and a chair out with your fathers picture dedicate a song to his memory for the father daughter dance. mention him in your reception speech. Whatever makes you and your husband the most happy is all that matters.

Answer 18

Don't let your MIL tell you what to do. One way to honour your dad would be to take one of his ties, if you still have them, and have your florist make it into a bow to tie to the back of your bouquet. That way, your dad is with you while you walk down the aisle. If you don't have one of his ties, take a photo that you love and have it made smaller, laminate it and have the florist tie it to the back of your bouquet. The photo would have to be small, even the size to go into a locket would be great. A jumping off point from that would be to have a photo of him put into a locket and tie that to the back of your bouquet or wear the locket on the day of your wedding. Just be sure to remove the locket from the bouquet before you toss it if you go with that option. There are so many ways of making your dad's presence felt on your wedding day. Do what your heart tells you and don't worry what your MIL has to say.

Answer 19

There are reasons not to make it obvious, but my bigger concern is that you don't sound ready to deal with marriage quite yet, and this future MIL is bossing you around.



Notice that not once have you mentioned your fiance, and that's worriesome. In a marriage, that should be the one person who plays the biggest part in your life- not his mother. What does HE say about this? And how has he put himself in between you and his mother, and defended you, and supported you in what you need?



It just doesn't seem that he has been present, or helped you in any way. So that leaves you to contend with his mother, and that's not a good sign for your future.



Step back, and talk this over with your fiance. If you were so confident and secure in what you were doing, my guess is that you wouldn't need your father to be so apparent on your wedding day. It would be enough to carry something of his, and know he is always with you. Don't continue on in this situation, if you feel as if you must fend them off.



I'm so sorry about your having to go through this without your dad. His cause of death is no one's business, and anyone who thinks that should play any part in this discussion is simply being cruel - and wrong. He was your dad, and you loved him, and that is all that should ever, ever matter.

Answer 20

The sad truth is this is just the beginning of her opinions that may not align with yours. I went through much of this on my wedding day. I did mostly everything that she wanted and you know what? I regret it. She won't like you any more if you do things her way on your wedding. She'll just expect more and more. Your wedding day is about YOU and your husband. Bless your father for serving this country and may he be remembered on YOUR wedding day. I'm sure he'll be looking down at you smiling at what a beautiful bride your going to be.

Answer 21

Your wedding is NOT the time to focus guests on the long along and sad passing of your father. If you want to have a moment with your family before the ceremony, that 's fine. If you and your fiance what to have a private mass or a prayer time or visit his grave, that is fine too. Your guests do not want to see or hear about your dad. They should not be subjected to your personal issues. They want to drink and dance and celebrate you and your husband.



It is understandable that you have unresolved issues around your father's untimely passing. Get counseling before you get married or you will drag this baggage with you.

Answer 22

On the one hand, MIL is correct that a wedding should not turn into a memorial service. It's appropriate for you to do ONE small, subtle public gesture for your dad, and anything else should be done privately.



As someone who has lost her dad, I get it, I do. But grief is a complicated thing, and it's really best for everyone if you don't go overboard here. Don't forget that other loved ones of your dad will be in attendance and you do not know how they may react to memorial gestures (especially ones they don't know about beforehand).



On the other hand, it's not MIL's wedding. The plans are up to you and your fiancé (unless MIL is paying, in which case you owe her a say). So if you and Fiancé agree to do something for your wedding, then Fiancé needs to step up and tell Mommy to back off.

Answer 23

A couple of issues here. Technically, your future MIL is right. Don't forget, weddings are full of emotional overload. My mom died several years before my wedding, and she was on my mind nonstop. I didn't do anything in memory of her and it was the right call. Stop and think about what HE would want. He'd want you to be happy and looking forward.



On this MIL, is she always so judgmental? My jaw dropped a bit when you mentioned her comments about the"circumstances" surrounding your dad's death. I've watched wonderful people struggle with this, and not all of them survive. That was an odious thing to say.



I'm also curious why she even knows your plans. Unless you're getting financial help from her (which might be a mistake) your wedding plans are none of her business. She's a guest at this event.

Answer 24

Walking yourself down the aisle rather than replacing the father's role with someone else is enough of an honor IMO.



If you want to do something additional, you can have a picture of your father in your pocket or in a locket or something like that. Or you could incorporate his favorite color into your wedding theme or have his favorite food as part of your reception fare or anything that is meaningful to YOU. But expecting all your guests to honor/remember your deceased father reeks of "funeral" or "memorial" and it's just not appropriate for a wedding as people are not gathered there for that purpose.



That being said, you are entitled to do whatever you and your partner agree on - and his/her mother doesn't get a vote.

Answer 25

It's understandable you want to remember him - and there are ways of incorporating memories into a wedding without making it sad.

Some people choose to remember those who can't be with them in the order of service; some brides add a mini photo to their bouquet so their loved one can accompany them.

Answer 26

Your MIL is right. Your wedding should not contain any overt memorial aspects. It's inappropriate. Get a locket with a picture of your father and dance to his favourite song.

Answer 27

Your future mother in law? Chick has no business dictating what you do or don't do in your wedding. Do whatever you want. My wife's father died before we got married and he was "honored" on the program when my wife was mentioned as daughter of the late ____, and then because we had a church wedding they did mention him during the prayers of the faithful. That was it. It didn't depress anyone. He brother walked her down the aisle, and we just skipped the dances with the parents all together

Answer 28

Just announce that the brides dance is a song dedicated to your dad who is there in spirit. Simple and thoughtful without being depressing.

Answer 29

My dad was also a veteran who drank, developed cirrhosis, and died before I got married. Everyone is going to notice that your father is not giving you away so they will be thinking of him anyway. This does not make it sad. We put a candle for my dad and his picture on the table where my mom, brothers, and sisters in law sat. I didn't know they planned it, but during the mother/son dance, my father in law, brothers, brothers in law, and uncles took turns dancing with me while my husband danced with his mom. It sounds like your MIL is a judgemental person. It is your and your fiancé's wedding, not hers.

Answer 30

I can definitely see where your mother in law is coming from, but honey it's you and your fiance's wedding! Everything else should be secondary to the wishes of you two. If you want his memory to be there, and your fiance wants that too, then do it! Explain to your mother in law, that you understand her opinion and respect it, but you still want to go ahead and have the memory of your father there on a day where you should be doing that! It's very sweet of you, stand your ground and do something for him! Even if its something as small as mentioning him in your speeches or having a memory of him tied to your hand or wedding dress or even just having his jacket on one of the chairs of the bridal party... It's a lovely sentiment and one I'm sure he would appreciate and so would your mother in law!

Answer 31

You should include your dads memory, go with your gut feeling. A nice idea could be pictures of you and your fiance and include photos of your dad and you and family. It would be nice to look back on

Answer 32

You did not mention who is paying for the wedding...but I assume MIL is not contributing anything...



Here's what I would suggest: Have a professional videographer put together a slideshow of you and your fiancé from birth to adulthood (including family pictures on both sides). Then, at the end of the slideshow, have a picture of your dad (and choose one where he looks his best), and a caption reading something like "Dedicated to the loving memory of John Bridesdad".



I wish you the best!

Answer 33

I agree with your future MIL, I say this as a grandfather

Answer 34

I think your MIL is right leave him out of your big day he has been gone way to long to include him and you are looking forward not into the past.

Answer 35

Not to be inconsiderate or anything but if he died when you were 17, don't u think it's time for you to move on and get over being upset about him dying? Life goes on ya know?

Answer 36

Your MIL sounds like a nut job. It's absolutely common to recognize the absence of a loved one, especially a parent!, during a wedding. There are even special memorial candles made specifically for weddings or receptions. The officiant can briefly mention him and I'm sure is used to similar needs. Something like, "...How special it is to have loved ones here today, and loved ones who are here in spirit..." They will know how to tastefully and lovingly articulate his absence and memory. I'd talk to your officiant and ask for simple ideas. Follow your heart. Its YOUR day. I honestly hate that you said I can see her point... Her point is totally insensitive to your wishes and emotions. Your guests will still have a fabulous time if your father is mentioned for 2 seconds. They're not children or shallow idiots. We've all lost someone. They'll get it and have empathy and think it's beautiful that you showed your love for your father. Good luck and enjoy your big day.

Answer 37

I think it's better to walk down through the aisle with your uncle or your soon to be a father in law; or your brother.

Answer 38

Honey, your daddy can still walk you down that aisle. You may have to Google or Pinterest it but look for tiny picture frames that you can attach to the back of each shoe and put his photo in the frames.

Many guests may not have known him but I'm sure they'll know he existed - you weren't found in a cabbage patch. I've seen many brides either have a single flower in a simple vase on the alter in memory of a loved one or loved ones may be mentioned at the end of your program.

Ask yourself, in 5 - 10 years do you think you'll regret not having done

this? If you think you might then go ahead and do it but don't make a big production out of it. Simple and tasteful is best.

Answer 39

Awww, a fatherless bride, that's so sad.



I agree with your future MIL and I think she is probably voicing her opinion because your fiance feels the same but for some reason finds it difficult to say anything to you.



Your father is always with you because you hold him in your heart and you have memories of him. He will be with you every step down the aisle. Do you really need to make a public statement (aloud or symbolically) about your father missing your wedding? Do you want a pity party? Your guests aren't there to remember your father as most of them never even met him. Having some kind of memorial would, therefore, be all about you, the poor orphan who lost her daddy.



If you want to honor him you can do it privately. You could say a prayer with your mother. You can light a candle. You could carry something of his such as his wedding ring, a metal he was awarded, a lock of his hair, or his picture in a locket

Answer 40

Your MIL does have a point, that a lot of people do not know him.



On the other hand it's your father.

There are many way of honouring his memory at your wedding.



I lost my mom when I was ten year old.

I understand having a wedding without a parent.

My mom was honor at my and my sister wedding by both of of caring her favorite flowers. The only people who knew that were members of my family. At both our weddings they told my sister and I that they were her favorite flowers and how proud she would of been. I honor my mom, in a way it was private to only for those who knew her.



I had a friend that lost her father that had chocolate mousse after cake, that was her father favorite dessert. Again only people close to the bride family and close friend knew it.



You could honor your father by getting a small frame charm, putting his picture in it, pin it on your bouquet.



Ways to honor your father, privately

Play his favorite song or band

His favorite color or flower in the wedding

sew something from his uniform in the back of your dress.



Find a way to honor your father privately

You do not have to tell your mil either.



Losing your father is hard.

There nothing wrong with finding a way to honor your father

It does not have to be public either.

Answer 41

It is not her wedding. It is yours and her son's wedding. Talk to him about it, and the two of you work together to find a way to honor and remember your dad at your wedding.