Help! I need to uninvite my soon to be ex boss to my wedding.?

Question

A year ago I started my job as a nanny with a great family, we instantly became friends and I invited what I thought two very normal people to my wedding which is now a few months away. Since Christmas that said family have been nothing but absolutely awful to me, not paying me, refusing to let me leave some evenings and being really nasty to me however I feel like they don t realise they are driving me away. I have a new job in August and will be giving in my notice just over a month before the wedding. I desperately don t want them there and neither does my partner. I will definitely not be able to uninvite them face to face however probably via text or email. Which I know is cowardly, but they genuinely are nasty people. So much so I need advice as to how to write this email. So much so they don t show up and wreck the day too! As I have a feeling the Dad would be tempted.

Answer 1

"This is my last day Biotch! By the way, don't come to the wedding either!" Done.

Answer 2

Just tell them you don't want them there. Who cares how he reacts. It's not like he's paying you

Answer 3

Just tell them you don't want them there. Who cares how he reacts. It's not like he's paying you

Answer 4

If they are not paying, why wait to quit? Never bad mouth an employer. If they are not paying you, walk away. Put it in writing. I tender my resignation due to non payment for services. Effective immediately.



No mention of anything else. Do not mention anything else. Not the wedding! Just hand in your resignation and leave. Don't whine, complain or shout or cry.



They are in the wrong, but you are allowing this abuse to continue.

Answer 5

"This is my last day Biotch! By the way, don't come to the wedding either!" Done.

Answer 6

I agree with everyone else that a verbal invite isn't a "real" one . But that doesn't mean these people will forget about it. You see them all the time and you plan to work for them until right before the wedding.



The way I see it, odds are high you won't be able to avoid a face to face discussion. You say texting them is cowardly, but I'd call it pointless and annoying. They'll just ask about it the next morning.



So my suggestion is wait to see if they bring it up and then have an answer ready when they ask you about it. Most people mention unexpected expenses and having to cut down on the guest list. Do NOT talk about how they treat you, like someone suggested. That was a terrible idea.

Answer 7

If your wedding is that far off you haven't sent invitations yet. Just don't invite them.



Problem solved.



Next?



P.S. ...and now you know that friendship isn't "instant", right? It takes awhile to get to know people.

Answer 8

Don't bother - it will just make things worse.

If you leave a month before your wedding, they most likely wouldn't go.

On the other hand you might just get a decent present.

If this was only a verbal invitation, you don't have a problem- just don't send them one.



It is absolutely, positively against all rules of etiquette to uninvite someone once they have received an invitation- save for them actually committing a violent crime against you. Just assume they won't come, because it would be hard to imagine they would.



Why aren't they paying you? You can take that up with the Department of Labor.

If these people are as tough as you say they are, I would not challenge them by telling them not to come. There are times it is more dangerous to try and stop something from happening, and poking this snake with a stick could mean they ruin your reputation and ability to ever get another job. The LAST thing you want to do is tell them how awful they are- just tell them this position isn't working out for you, and you are too busy with your upcoming wedding.



I promise you, there is no wording that is going to make a difference. Just assume they won't come, and if for some odd reason they do, smile and be cordial, and move on. It will cost you far less, and if you cannot manage that, you're not mature enough to be married.

Answer 9

You continue to stay and work unpaid, so actually that is a problem of your creation.

Answer 10

Just tell them you don't want them there. Who cares how he reacts. It's not like he's paying you

Answer 11

Just tell them you don't want them there. Who cares how he reacts. It's not like he's paying you

Answer 12

If you didn't send them a written invitation, then do not worry about it. I'm sorry things didn't go well but hope you get a better job. You don't have to uninvite them. ALL invites to a wedding should be in writing - not verbal.

Answer 13

After you give your notice, they will know not to come. If you're concerned PLUS they're not paying you, make up a lie... "my fiance and I decided to elope with just our immediate family, because the wedding was no longer affordable for us." Pick a simple location in your state that you guys are eloping too. If they stalk you on social media after, who cares, you're already gone. Maybe this will guilt them into paying you too. Good luck.

Answer 14

Grow up and tell them to their faces. Don't hide behind a text message or an email. If you can't manage that, how do you expect to face the stresses of married life?

Answer 15

The first thing you do is look for another job so you can quit this one ASAP.



As everyone else has noted, they have only received a verbal invitation and it was quite a while back. You do not need to disinvite them. Don't send them a text or email saying not to come. Don't bring up the subject of your wedding around them at all. If one of them brings it up, you could lie. Maybe the wedding has been postponed or maybe the cost is getting you both down so you've been discussing going to Vegas instead of having a more traditional wedding.

Answer 16

I don't see the problem. Get you a card and write: "Greetings and salutations! Sorry for the confusion, but the invitation you received was meant for family and friends only. Please discard yours. Thanks!"

Have a Great Day!!!

Answer 17

You don't have to worry about trying to "uninvite" them. It's highly doubtful that your ex-employers would still be interested in attending your wedding. Why would they be? You only invited them in the first place as a courtesy because you were working for them, and they know that. They were never your "friends" - they were your employers; and by the time you get married they won't even be that any more.



If your wedding is not until sometime after August, then why are you sending anyone a formal, printed invitation this far in advance? If you only issued your employers a casual verbal "invitation" months ago, that is NOT an "invitation" at all; and so you don't have to worry about "uninviting" them - they haven't yet been invited.

Answer 18

You really can't uninvite someone to whom you have mailed a formal invitation. If you have verbally invited them, you don't need to do anything. If your employer doesn't get a printed invitation, they aren't invited and they can't RSVP.



Also, don't be a coward. If your employers are treating you poorly or are not paying you, you need to stand up for yourself. There's no point in working a job as a volunteer. You might as well give notice now and move on.

Answer 19

Did you actually send them an invitation yet? As your wedding is not until the summer, I assume you have not already sent the invitations. Don't send them one.



Regarding your job- do you have a contract? That states when you are to be paid? If so, please have a discussion with your employers about this. If you do not have a contract, please remember this if your next job is nannying. Nannies NEED to protect themselves. You need a contract stating the terms of employment, terms of leaving the job, payment, etc.



If you are not being paid on time, why are you staying until August? Have you actually sat down the them and talked face-to-face about how this is not okay? No other kind of employer would get away with that. As a former nanny, it makes me angry when nannies are treated like this, and when nannies allow themselves to be treated like this. You don't work if you don't get paid on time. Simple as that. You stick to your agreed upon hours. If they are not coming home on time regularly, tell them you have a new policy and you'll charge them $5 for every fifteen minutes. They are taking advantage of you, but by continuing to work for them, you are letting them.

Answer 20

Just tell them you and your fiance called off the wedding. After you quit you can always "call it back on" again.

Answer 21

There's no polite way to uninvite someone who has already accepted. When is your wedding, and have you already mailed the invitations? If you haven't mailed them, simply don't send this couple an invitation. Done.

Answer 22

If your wedding is still a few months away, then why on earth did you already send them an invitation? Wedding invitations are only supposed to go out about 6-8 weeks in advance of the wedding.



(Also, why the hell are you continuing to show up to work for them without collecting a fair paycheck? No wonder they don't pay you - because you allow them to keep getting away with it. Try not showing up until you're paid in full. If it's a large amount then you can threaten legal action.)



If you already sent them an invitation, then you need to CALL THEM or visit them in person (DO NOT send a text or email - buck up and be an adult here - plus they can always show up anyway and claim they didn't get your text or email, so it'll likely backfire on you anyway) and say either:

1. "We've had to scale back our wedding plans and therefore I can no longer accommodate you at my wedding." (Which is rude, but if you're burning the bridge anyway then it's not going to affect you professionally - unless you're depending on them for a final paycheck or a letter of recommendation or something!)

2. "I will be quitting this job effective [date]. As we are no longer doing business together, I will therefore need to take back the wedding invitation." (Which is also rude, but again, burned bridges.)



If you did NOT send them an actual invitation yet, then just do not send one and do not mention it to them. Even if you verbally promised them you'd invite them, you can still get away with not sending them an invitation. If they call you to ask what happened, you can use the above excuses about scaling things back or about ending the professional and therefore personal relationship with them.

Answer 23

So you are still working there till August while they aren't paying you. I don't understand why. You should quit now, tell them not to come to your wedding and find another job till your August job starts, something PT.

If you plan to uninvite them while still working there, forget it, things will either get terrible or they will fire you.

So quit and ditch them or let it be.

Answer 24

Just say "I am sorry to tell you but, I cannot invite you to my wedding due to your respect towards me." It doesn't matter how he acts he was mean and shouldn't come.