Individual interviews with the RC priest prior to wedding? What to expect?

Question

My fiance and I are getting married in Sept. in a Roman Catholic Church in NY. We already had our first interview with the priest in regards to our wedding and he gave us the layout and costs of the wedding. He told us to go ahead and schedule our Pre-Cana and we did. (honestly I think he forgot that he told us this because he's an old man, prob. in his 70's and the Monsigner) He also told us that he wanted to meet with us next time for individual interviews, which we just scheduled today. I'm just wondering what to expect of these interviews...What sort of questions will he ask? I know you really can't prep for this sort of thing, since it's prob. about you and your fiance as a couple, but I would like to know what others experiences are... I kind of feel like the whole wedding in the church is starting to be a long drawn out proccess...

Answer 1

Sheesh, don't let them scare you with their answers!

It totally depends upon the priest, and since your Msgr. is old school, it's going to be pretty straightforward and not very personal (read that as sexuality-related) at all.

He'll ask if you are entering into this marriage of your own free will, about how the two of you get along, whether you have discussed raising your children Catholic and if you will keep a Catholic home. We had to each fill out a form - there was a question on there about mental illness, which through me for a loop - not because I had any! It just seemed odd, but when I thought about it later, it made a lot of sense.

You just have to realize they are trying really, really hard to ensure the couple knows what they are doing and are mature enough to make a good, solid match.

Don't worry so much about the personal interview.

The premarital sessions are amazing - no matter how long you have dated, or how well you think you know one another, you will discover NEW things - and there's still more to discuss.

Good luck!

Answer 2

No they won't deny marrying the two of you, but you may have to take pre marital classes, which usually just consists of just a few meetings and learning about what marriage means and how to have a good relationship. If you are not baptized as a Catholic they may ask you to either get baptized or blessed by the priest. Just have your fiance call her church (or whatever church you two want to get married in) and ask the person who answers the church phone- they will be able to answer all her questions. And as far as the virgin thing goes, no they don't care that you're not virgins, and they won't ask anything like that. A friend of mine has a 2 year old and she just got married in our Catholic church a few months ago. And I've been a Catholic since the day I was born 25 years ago, and I've never known another Catholic who totes a bible around the way other religions do. :) Hope this helps, and congratulations :)

Answer 3

I skipped the church, we inquired about it, met the priest, and it was just too much work, & stress between going to mass all the time, retreats, pre-cana classes, and having some 100 year old priest tell us how to live a married life was just hard for us to take seriously. We also did not want to agree to raise our children Catholic which they insisted. I would steer clear away from that church!

Answer 4

I skipped the church. Both my husband and I met with a priest and were discouraged. The priest first said you need to be at the 9am Sunday mass sitting where he could see us for 1 year, we had set a date for 6 months, not a year. He told us if we missed 1 mass he would not marry us and we would lose the privilege of marrying in the church. There were also other special masses and a retreat that we were required to go on, as well as the Pre-Cana classes. It all seemed too stressful and time consuming for us, so we were married by a minister, who came to the reception hall and did the ceremony. No classes, retreats, or masses to deal with, it was great!

Answer 5

I didn't have to do individual interviews with the priest. Just 12 hours of precana. Yes 12. I also had to take this weird test and based on how you answered a married couple talked to us about our answers. Not to mention 2 special masses we had to attend and a joint meeting with the priest.



All in all it was time consuming and annoying and really had no value to us. To be perfectly honest looking back none of the hassle was worth getting married in the church. I only did it for my husband. I was pretty insulted that they made us do all of that for "the privledge" of being married in the church. If you aren't that religious, skip the church. Maybe when the Catholic church loses enough members they will change their ways. They have certainly lost me as a member.

Answer 6

I am being TOTALLY serious......



He will ask you questions about general stuff: Your Best Man and Maid of Honor, parents, address, etc.



He will slowly progress to questions about your relationship: how you fight (fairly, etc).



The final questions TOTALLY threw me through a loop:

He asked if I had ever had sex (don't know the actual phrase he used) with my husband's father or brother. Yup, I'm serious.



Best of luck. It's really not that bad. Just slightly crazy...