Any creative ways to get guests to RSVP to wedding invitations?

Question

A question for recent brides and their mothers:

I own a wedding venue, and my brides always have major problems knowing how many guests will attend. The last bride sent 100 invitations, had 35 RSVPs, and 200 attended. They can't plan for food, beverages, or table arrangements because they don't know how many will show up. Short of calling all the invited guests and saying "Are you coming or not?", how did you handle this situation at your wedding.

I can understand a few people forgetting or their reply being lost in the mail, but this is a huge problem. (I've have suggested they say "reception location provided with RSVP", but no one has taken me up on that idea.)

Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Although your suggestion is creative to supply location information only after a RSVP is received, it is not practical. I could not commit to a reception location without knowing the location first. How can I commit to attending a wedding in Mexico if I live in Maine and cannot take time off to travel?



On my RSVP cards, I wrote RSVP's not received by the deadline will be counted as "will not attend" and therefore a seat will not be reserved. I got an RSVP from ALL 150 guests!! Amazingly so. I had no intention of taking my valuable time pestering guests without social grace.

Answer 2

This is a generational problem, basic etiquette has not been passed down. You can't exactly take a time machine back and raise everyone's children right :P



So, it is necessary to make follow-up phone calls when guests do not RSVP.



A bride can make things easier on herself by limiting her guestlist to only her nearest and dearest. Her nearest and dearest would certainly respectfully respond. It is the fringe guests that neglect an RSVP, so don't invite them in the first place, they're not important enough to be there.



Keep wording simple and clear on the invitation and any inserts. People tend to skim, another generational thing, so when you include a paragraph, they might miss the whole point. Isolate the important points and include them only. Use a simple and clear font.



Use firm words on the RSVP card. Ask for a response. Don't leave it up to the guest to interpret. Make it clear they need to respond if they will have a seat at your wedding. "Please respond no later than June 20, 2011 to reserve your seat."



Have a seating plan and a guestlist. Only guests who RSVP make the guestlist. Those guests not on the guestlist, do not have a seat and don't get past the doorman.

Answer 3

I can see why nobody has taken you up on that ides, reception location provided after you send back the RSVP is going to be more work than its worth. At that point you would be playing an endless game of phone tag with all of your guests and any bride & groom don't have time for that.



35 RVSP's came back but how many people were listed on each RSVP when they came back?



Some people do returns only if you're attending and some even do return only regrets.



I did mine both, I wanted to know either way if they were coming or not, so I had them in time, I put my RSVP deadline a week before I actually needed them for those procrastinators who wait til the last day to mail them back.



For my total number of guests who responded, I did that total, then added 25 more meals in the event people came who thought they wouldn't be able to or for those rude ones who didn't reply at all. I had quite a bit of food left over doing that, but I'd rather have too much then not enough. With the extra food, I fed the catering companies staff that was onsite for the meal. (My other vendors like DJ, photographer, etc I included in the total headcount - they get hungry too..lol)

Answer 4

Creative Rsvp

Answer 5

First, they need to stop using the term RSVP. Lots of people have no clue what that means. A recent wedding by a cousin avoided the term RSVP and said "tell me if you are coming OR NOT by Sept 10. She included email, text message and Facebook information. She only had to call a few people.



BTW, I love the placecard idea another poster indicated. Makes it clear that you either respond or stay home.

Answer 6

Sadly this happens to everyone and the bride and groom SHOULD call each guest that hasn't responded. I would list that they should either mail the RSVP back or call a number or text a number or email their RSVP it might help. Many people need quick easy ways to RSVP rather then fill out a card and mail it back.

Answer 7

Your idea cracks me up. But for some people, that just might work!



We didn't have a problem with non responses, but it appears to be a big problem. Unfortunately, even though it is the fault of the lazy guests in the first place, the burden is still on the hosts to make that call to get an answer. It may be one the most annoying and frustrating part of planning, but it is necessary. I cannot imagine why any host, in the home stretch of planning, would neglect to do this. An accurate headcount is essential. Could it be, the hosts are just as lazy as their guests?



If they don't make a call to confirm, they should not be surprised when 200 people show up and all they have is a bag of chips and salsa.

Answer 8

I'm sure people might bawk at this idea, but instead of RSVPs being sent it would be a good idea to send placecards for the number of guests invited with their name on one side and on the other "Please return the placecards of those who will be attending to ensure seating." This way, those who want to be sure to have a seat and share in the reception will be more likely to respond and those who might RSVP with no intention of truly attending will think twice because their empty places at the reception tables will have their names on them. :)

Answer 9

Don't know if this will work, but I learned a great tip from a mom years ago. She planned an elaborate Easter Party every year for her daughter and friends. She always sent the invitations lacking one important detail so every guest that wanted to and intended to attend had to call to get the important specifics for the party. Worked every time and she always knew how many people to plan for.

Answer 10

The only way I know is to phone every single person who hasn't rsvp'd.



I did this (with the help of my fiance and my sister) and got a firm yes or no out of everyone. (I forget how many I had to phone, but it was quite a few). 120 were invited, and we got it to 100 "yes" and 20 "no". No one came uninvited, and all of the 100 came except for 2 who came down sick on the day.

Answer 11

Brides, their mothers or maids of honors phone people who don't RSVP. It's a pain, but it's done all the time.



I was at a wedding once where tons of people showed up, but hadn't RSVP ed. After the ceremony ended and the wedding party had left, the officiant made a simple statement something along these lines:



"The bride's parents asked me to announce they will welcome all guests who RSVP ed at the reception hall. John and Karen wish to thank each of you for sharing this special day with them." (And he walked away.)



People who hadn't RSVP ed were stunned. The rest of us loved it, but I never heard one negative thing said about the announcement.

Answer 12

I think your idea is great...gives me a good plan of action. I don't have any suggestions though sorry.