family inlaw issues with wedding.?

Question

my family inlaws drive me crazy and im scared i am going to snap soon.
my parents are paying 12000 for the wedding i am paying 7000 and my inlaws to be offered to pay 1000
i am fine with that because i no they have not much money, but they are making such a big deal about it all. i have paid for his step dads suit and his sisters flower girl dress because they whinged about it but i was fine with that, but now they are whinging about my partners bucks night saying they cannot afford 300 to go out, i mean its there son shouldnt you make the effort, i also dont think we will see the 1000 so i have set aside emergency money. its our big day shouldnt they be happy for us and make the effort and stop whinging about every detail. we had formal invites and they whinged about that because they didnt understand them (very un educated family) my partner is getting really upset about all this i can tell, should i have a word to them? or please tell me what to do??

Answer 1

Been there, done that! I will give you one single piece of advice - not for the wedding, but after - move about 500 miles away from them or you will spend the next 20 years listening to them whinge about everything you do from making dinner to how you bring up your kids!

Answer 2

It sounds like they may be feeling insecure about the fact that they can't help more with the wedding. When people are stresses or anxious they take it out on the people closest to them.



I would just suggest to keep the peace by smiling and nodding, then do it how you want to do it! Don't let them get your down. If how they are responding to your requests is bothering you, stop asking. Tell them how it is going to be, where they need to be and what they need to do and that is that. Do it nicely in a way that they can't argue, and even if they do just smile nod and ignore them!



Since they are not paying, they really have no say. try to be empathetic, but don't let them walk all over you!



I'm sure they will go back to normal once the wedding is over so hang in there!

Answer 3

You should not say a word, but your fiancee should speak up and talk to his family. Perhaps it's a bit of jealousty or feeling inferior that they can't participate more or maybe they're just mean spirited people who like to make everyone around them miserable. Either way, it's not in your place to say anything unless you want to be the outcast for the length of your marriage. Good luck and don't let them ruin your special day!

Answer 4

well some people dont ahve the money or dont see spending it on one day. They seem to be those kind of people. do what you can to make your day special and let them help when they offer. If they cant afford soemthing, they dont have to participate like the bucks party

Answer 5

they should quit their whining and be happy for you. They think since you took care of the other stuff, you should take care of the dinner too. they don't need a complete free ride but if that is what it takes, do it. From now on leave them out of the loop and just tell them what time and where to be.

Answer 6

if i were you i would sit the inlaws your parents and your partener down and talk about it.



tell inlaws you understand they dont have much money but it is your special day and not theres.



and tell them you dont want your wedding spoiled because of all their whinnig.

Answer 7

No offense but aren't you being a little selfish? It's your big day yes, but don't you want everyone involved to be happy? What's with the competition for who pays more and who pays for what? If they don't have any money you can't seriously expect them to pay up a huge amount. It;s not all about money, I think you need to look at it more rationally, fairly, and not so "its my big day so it should be all about me". That's not what marraige is.

Answer 8

Talk to you partner first, see how he feels about it, maybe he can talk to them . If not than what do you have to loose, talk to them, it just might go in one ear and out the other.