What to do about BM dresses without being bridezilla?

Question

So I'm window shopping at the mall today. I came across a dress that is PERFECT for my bridesmaids. It's EXACTLY what I've been looking for. Now I took a picture (yes, the sales ladies thought I was crazy. lol). and sent it to my sis and my friend. both like it, but they both say they don't think they can afford it right now. I don't want to go all bridezilla but I really want them to have this dress. And it's not a bridal store or anything, it's just a small store who's inventory changes so often that once it's gone...IT'S GONE! they won't have it back.
Like I said, I don't wanna go all bridezilla, but I really want them to get these. What do I do?
By the way, if it makes a difference they are both students, my sis is halfway through her program and my friend is doing her Masters. AH! I should've picked BM's who are rich. haha JUST KIDDING!

Answer 1

punch them in the face and tell them they have to buy it! lol :) kidding



well, its old school but does the store have a lay away thing?that might be an option or pull as much money as you all can together and hope you get the dresses in time

Answer 2

Hi!



I think is one of those situations where you're going to have to choose between what you really want, and what is best for everyone!



I'm kind of in the same bind right now. Dresses are expensive (and yes...I am a college student too.....128 is a lot for us who are spending 700 dollars on textbooks a semester and can hardly buy food!)



Try looking around at amazon.com and kohls and online stores. You might be able to find some dresses for 60 or 70 dollars.



I know....they're not "perfect" and they're not "just what you wanted" but hey.....you're getting married to the man you love....the man you desire more than anything else. What could be more perfect than that? All those little details will fade away after the wedding....the love that you show your finace and the love that you show your bridesmaids is what they will remember, not the dresses! Make the memories you have together with them count!!

Answer 3

Well, how much are the dresses? If they are less than $200, I don't think you are asking all that much. Perhaps you can speak with the store manager and tell them about you situation. Let them know you adore these dresses and want to use them in your wedding; however, your bridesmaids are giving you a little trouble with buying on such short notice. Perhaps the store manager could get the dresses on back order and then you can buy them in a month or two.



Also, if you love them THAT much, could you buy them yourself and have the girls pay your later? It might be an option. They can pay you little by little. Another option might be to go half's on the dress. Meaning, if the dress is $150; you pay $75 and your bridesmaids pay $75. At a later date, they can pay you back.

Answer 4

Look, if they can't afford that dress, they can't afford it. It's truly that simple. If you choose a dress that they can't afford, they have every right to bow out of your bridal party. So either choose richer bridesmaids or choose a different dress.



One suggestion is to take the photo to some dress stores and bridal places and see what they can offer you that is similar. Maybe make a list of your top priorities for the dresses: halter neckline, cocktail-length, dark green color. Even if they can't show you the same dress, they can give you some options.



Enlist your bridesmaids' help, too. Send them your list of top criteria (keep it to no more than three or four things, or the task will be impossible) and have them look online and send you some affordable options.



Between these two approaches, you should be able to come up with several dress options for your girls.

Answer 5

Is there anyway you can get the store to agree to hold them for you if your BMs put down a downpayment? Maybe they could pay 1/3 now and then pay off the rest over the next couple of months.



To be honest your BMs should have planned on having this expense (poor or not) and set money aside.I don't think it's that bridezilla-ish of you to request they get the dress now. In exchange you can say that you'll wait on the shoes, alterations, or other apparel items they would have to buy.



If you BMs really can't get it now, you might be able to take down the label and style and find the dresses online or at another store.

Answer 6

If it's only the two girls, maybe consider buying the dresses for them if you have the money. That way you won't have to worry if the dresses will still be there later.



Since your wedding is 10 months away, they will have plenty of time to save money and pay you back. I think this is a good solution.



Good luck!



EDIT: I just read your details. How about calling the store and asking about layaway? You never know, they may do it.



You could also ask if the item goes out of stock, can it possibly be ordered from the manufacturer? Maybe they could order it for you in January.



I would go to the store and find out who makes the dress. Do a search for it on the web. Maybe you can find a place to order it online later.

Answer 7

Go back to the store, explain to the sales person your situation, and ask her if you can take some DETAILED pics of the dress. Take the pics to your local seamstress and see if she could make them for you. They'll be even cheaper that way, and can be finished at a time that your girls can afford them.



*EDIT* Don't tell the salesperson why you really want the pics (to possibly copy the dress)....that probably won't go over too well. Just tell her you want detailed pics so that if you have to try to find it in another store you have good pics to compare dresses to or something.



*ADD* Think this might work best for your situation. This way, you guys get the dresses you want at the time frame and prices you want....

Answer 8

Don't worry about being a bridezilla, or a b*tch. By posting this question you're being neither. You have accepted the potential of being one and discarded it. I do agree with lovinglife on one thing: It is kind of odd for you to say the dresses aren't expensive, but if none of you can afford to buy it, isn't that the definition of expensive? If it's out of your league either look at layaway or try to forget it. That's the thing with weddings, you have to compromise between the dream and the reality. Everyone had really good ideas, so hopefully one will work for you. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 9

What if you paid for the dresses and had them pay you back for them? Another idea is to post the dress on here on Y!A and see if we can find it cheaper for you somewhere else or online. When I had to order my bridesmaid dresses one of my bridesmaids couldn't afford it that month, but the order had to go in due to time constraints. She was getting married 2 months before me and had some payments to make. I paid for her deposit and then a few months later she paid me back.



Oh, and see if the store has a layaway plan.

Answer 10

Since you have a photograph of the dress and it is still quite a while untill your wedding, you may be able to find someone who can sew copies of the dress for your bridesmaids for a price that better fits your bridesmaids and your budget.



My niece is getting married in December and her bridesmaids dresses are being sewn by several friends as their weddings gifts to the bride. I am doing the alterations to her dress to help save her money.

Answer 11

That's tough because you have a vision for your wedding and of course you want them to look great. I just got married in August, so I went through all these same wedding dilemmas. I ended up going shopping with all my bridesmaids and letting them agree amongst themselves. To see them happy and supporting me that day in a dress that caused no stress was well worth a tiny sacrifice in vision. Plus everyone will be looking at you anyway. So why not just wait until they have their finances a little more stable and bond with them over such a happy occasion. No need to cause strain in your relationships because of a dress they will wear once and will be in their closet not yours. I hope I helped. Good luck!

Answer 12

Honestly, if being bridezilla is your concern you need to find less expensive dresses especially if you expect your bridemaids to purchase them. Remember it's not about the bridesmaids it's about the Bride. She must be the most beautiful woman in the room.



If the purchase just isn't feesible for them right now and you can't pay for them just wait. I know you will find something appropriate for them.



Good Luck, cause you've just begun the battles. You haven't even gotten to the guest list yet.hehehe

Answer 13

Doing you a choose, excuse mwa, perhaps i'm previous and propose, yet after seeing what my daughter went via, i could have dished her already, you have sufficient rigidity with no need to handle her like a new child and remind her to convey her lunchbox popular and to sweep her enamel previously going to mattress, excuse me back, yet improve up, o.ok.(her) She would desire to tell you if she can not have the money for the gown, even however you have already stated you will pay the deposit, she is dragging her ft for some reason----yet me, i could tell her that in view that she can not meet any of the scheduled appointments that it may be superb that she no longer be in the marriage in view that she would not have the time. i does no longer submit with what you have already, I propose 2 out of towners and one on a visit and that they have got made it to the fittings,and so on. i'm assuming, no mam, hit the line and don't look back, you're a bride and you deserve each and all of the fuss and frills that is going with that---so get rid of the stressor who time after time has given you excuses or no longer back texts or telephone calls. you would be able to would desire to be a zilla, yet as a result it relatively is o.ok. and necessary, or she will have the potential tochronic you thoroughly nuts because it gets closer to the marriage and she or he remains dragging her ft. does no longer ask your self me if she did no longer even take place on the marriage.

Answer 14

The only thing you can really do if you really want them to wear those dresses is pay for the dresses yourself. You can't really force them to buy something they can't afford, especially since they're both still in school.

You can also try and have the dresses duplicated, if you know a seamstress or find a fairly inexpensive seamstress.

Good luck!

Answer 15

does the store have any kind of lay a way plan? that would be a really good option if its available. if not, you may find something later on thats even more perfect. good luck, and remember, the marriage is way more important than any part of the wedding could ever be. i wish you all the best!

Answer 16

Could you maybe ask your parents to lend you the money for the dresses and pay them back in January when you have a bit more money to spare? Considering one is for your sister they might be a bit more open to the suggestion?

Answer 17

if you are that broke and they are that broke then your only option is to see if the store will put them on a lay-a-way plan where they can pay ten or fifteen dollars every couple of weeks or every month.

other wise you'll have to let them go and keep your eyes open for something else later on when you have more money!

good luck and congrats on your upcoming wedding.

Answer 18

Is there anyway that you could go ahead and get the dresses for them and they could pay you out or something? I think that would be your best bet. Or maybe go in half and half? Maybe you could find a similar gown at a different location, how expensive is it?

Answer 19

The fact is, it's tacky to ask someone to buy a dress for your event, even more so if they've told you they can't afford it. Either find a dress that you can buy for them, or have them wear something they already own.



In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter what your bridesmaids wear. You won't look back after 20 years of marriage and think, "Oh, things would be better, if only my bridesmaids had prettier dresses!" They're your friends, and they're standing up with you, and that's all that matters.

Answer 20

Explain to them that it is not expensive and that it suits your theme perfectly.

Point out that it is either a not so expensive dress now, or wait and search and maybe end up paying more for something that is not so nice later.

You could also let them know how happy you will be if they wore these dresses.

Can you laybuy the dresses for the girls and they pay them off gradually?

Answer 21

The only thing you can tell them is that that is the dress that you want them to have and ask if maybe the store can finance it or something. Tell them you are afraid it will be gone later.

Answer 22

Offer to pay for half. Don't buy the dresses expecting a payback. You need to convince them that your willingness to pay half is the best deal going. They are not going to find a dress for under $64.

Answer 23

Why dont you have someone make the same dress for you? It will be way cheaper! But I don't think $128 is too expensive for a dress.

Answer 24

If you don't have a set date for the wedding yet, I would wait awhile longer to get married. If everyone is having money problems now and can't buy dresses or pay rent, then maybe you should re-think all of this.

Answer 25

The only way you could do this is offer to pay and they can pay you back, or ask the sales lady if she can give you the style # and they can order it later.

Answer 26

Wait til there is a time where you can take at least several of your bridesmaids with you to choose.

Answer 27

could you help them out with the purchase? pay for half of it perhaps

Answer 28

why dont you split it and go half and half then they can pay you the rest back