So when is it okay to start planning a wedding?

Question

Okay my bf is getting me a engagement ring for Christmas :D I'm excited.. So when is okay to start talking about a date haha I know some will say just ask him but I don't want to over whelm him.. He have been talking about babies and conceiving and I just don't want to over whelm himself just opinions on when other people would assume it's cool to start bringing up a wedding date

Answer 1

Good gracious, I'm overwhelmed by your hyper question!

Chill, child. You have your whole life ahead of you. Conceiving??? Really? And you don't think he's overwhelmed with all that let alone a wedding date?

The stupid comment about 6 months for an engagement is entirely wrong. Technically, engagements can last several years with no breach of social etiquette.

You must keep your plans between you and your fiance until he says he's comfortable announcing them. You may not "jump the gun." This is between the two of you first and foremost.

If you can hang on until he's ready to let the world know about your plans you will win a great deal of respect from him which is what matters most.

Answer 2

I would probably wait until you actually have the ring on your finger before you start bringing up a date.

Start envisioning you wedding, the formality, (realistically) how much you plan on spending, the number of people there, etc. Decide on a time of year that would suit your dream best. May through September is the most common time to get married, but of course wedding expenses can often be cut if you plan your wedding for the off season (think winter, early spring).

Planning a wedding is easiest when you have at LEAST six months to figure out the details. So if you get engaged in December, a June wedding in 2014 could actually be a possibility, but you'll have to rush. A year or more is a manageable amount of time when it comes to wedding planning.

The sooner you can book your venues, the sooner you can get started. Talk about a date, check out some places for the ceremony, reception, or both, put a down payment down on the place(s) of your choice, and send a save-the-date six months before the wedding!

Answer 3

Give him his moment first - wait for him to actually propose.

You also need to learn how to slow him down - he's already pressuring for you to conceive, and you're not even settled down yet.



Planning a wedding is a lot of work, and a time when you need to learn to communicate with your fiance. He may be all jazzed up about doing everything now - but does he have a secure job? Savings? Do you have enough to buy a home, and keep it in good repair? Do you both have health insurance?



You can livein a lot of places and manage a lot of things as adults - but the minute you are expecting and then have an infant, everything comes to a halt. You cannot just live any old place, and you need to be able to coast for a while - you won't be just working all the time. You'll also be shocked at how different things are the minute you get married - they just are.



Let him know you both need take this step by step, and you are as excited as he is. It can be wonderful, but there is much more to living as a married couple than he may realize, and you need to give it a good year so you can communicate as a couple, before you have a child in the middle, or it could be much different. NO matter how inlove you are, this is work, and you will have to learn to face things together. Learn to support each other, and you will have a bright future. BUt don't ever rush it.

Answer 4

ok well it's not like you don't really know if and when he's going to propose - then I would say you shouldn't put the cart before the horse. You've had marriage conversation already, but depending on what kind of wedding you want, there is a lot of planning involved- giving guests enough notice to put in vacation time, schedule time off work; booking venues and vendors- if you aren't thinking about this coming summer 2014, then I would say there is no need to rush talking about a date- ie if you were talking about waiting a couple of years- I would say listen to your gut instinct about not wanting to overwhelm him.

We planned ours together with equal input but sadly not every guy is insanely into details lol. I'm hypothesizing that if you start now you might scare him off? Not sure since I don't know him, what kind of person he is. When you two get around to sitting down and planning details together the exact date will come up. Seriously I wouldnt jump the gun. If you were thinking you could pull off a huge wedding (again no idea if you two were planning on eloping or inviting 200 close friends lol), then you need to rethink engagement timing maybe- I mean no rule saying you can't start planning together prior to the ring going on the finger- if it's a definite thing.

It will happen when it happens. :)

pre-congrats

Answer 5

The earlier you plan, the better. When I got married, my wife and I planned it about a year before our target date. This saves you from the stress of rushing on the smallest details about the wedding. This will also give you enough time for the paperwork, venues, and suppliers for your wedding.



We had our wedding in Boston where she is from. We flew in from California and hired an airport limo service to take us around the city where she grew up. We hired a friend as a photographer so we had our prenup pics in some of the most memorable places in her teenage years.



One great thing about the limo during the wedding and prep period is that it makes the bride and the groom to be very special. Makes things even more romantic with a glass of champagne at the back of the long car.

Answer 6

Emily Post did not live in the time where venues are booked a year in advance, and Wedding dresses did not take seven or more months to make sure you not have rush fees.



Advice about children, enjoy marriage before children. Take trips and stuff before children. Once they come, it will be years for couple trips.



I got engaged before the ring, so are you engaged and waiting for the ring. If so, you can start planning right away. Picking dates and venue will be fine.

Answer 7

Relax, take a deep breath, and don't worry about this until he actually proposes. You will overwhelm him if you start talking about wedding plans before you're even officially engaged. You will overwhelm him even more if you start talking about wedding planning, and start trying to plan for a family. Take all this one thing at a time; get engaged, plan your wedding, get married, enjoy your life for awhile, then start talking about family. I understand you're excited, but you need to slow down.

Answer 8

Relax, Once he has asked you then you can talk about dates, Once married talk about children etc. Yes you have already talked but it is not currently on the agender so keep it in the archives. One thing at a time, take the time to enjoy each moment as it happens..

Answer 9

I'd talk about the wedding before I started talking about family and when to conceive a baby! You sound very young, which is fine, but it also means you're in a position to give yourselves time to grow as a couple before taking on the stress and responsibility of a baby.



So it sounds kind of backward to me. As soon as you're sure you're getting married, it's fine to start talking about "when", but give yourselves a couple of years to enjoy each other before bringing kids into it..

Answer 10

Find below for your reference:



http://dressybridal.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/a-wedding-plan-and-wedding-preparation-schedule-2013/



I think it would be very useful!!

Answer 11

Of course it's always good to have an early start.

Answer 12

According to Emily Post (Women who my Mom used to quote on manners, etiquette, etc) an engagement is to last no longer than six months. From the time one asks to the wedding. If you are concerned you might spook him I would be thinking a bit about accepting his proposal at this time. If he can not handle talk of marriage after proposing, he is not ready. I would just gently ask and test the waters so to speak.