Wedding RSVP question?

Question

I'm getting married May 23, 2009 and my fiancee thinks we should send out the invitations March 1st and ask for the RSVP by April 1st? I need some help, I wanna send them out and RSVP by April 20th.....help please!!!

Answer 1

Our wedding planner recommended sending the invites out 6-8 weeks prior to the event and only giving people 3 weeks to respond...otherwise people forget to RSVP altogether and then you end up having to call the majority of your guests for their response.

Answer 2

Hi and congratulations!



Why does your fiance want the RSVP's back so soon? April 1st for a May 23rd wedding is way too soon. I even think your deadline of April 20th is too soon. Are you making all the food yourself and this is why you need the headcount so early?



Mail your invites 8 weeks before the wedding....so...mail them about March 26 so that they arrive about March 28 (which would be 8 weeks before the wedding).



Then, for the RSVP deadline. Unless you are doing the food yourself, check with the caterer or your venue to see when they need the final count. Say it's 1-2 weeks before. So then give yourself an extra week (in case you need to call people who have not responded), so make the RSVP deadline May 2. Even IF you are doing all the food yourself, I still would stick with this plan.

Answer 3

I don't know what the etiquette rule is, but based on experience, try to give people at least a month to find out if they can make the wedding. It can often be difficult to plan around work, kids' school, etc.



My wife and I just got married a few weeks ago. In the invitations, we requested that the RSVP's get sent back by about six weeks before our wedding date, but they actually slowly trickled into our mailbox until about two weeks before the wedding. It was kind of annoying and stressful that we were still receiving RSVP's several weeks late, especially when we needed to get final meal counts and table assignments to the caterers ASAP.



Not everyone realizes how inconvenient it is for the Bride & Groom to receive a whole bunch of late wedding RSVP's, or worse yet, not receive some at all (because then you have to dig up a bunch of phone numbers and call everyone, when you have a bazillion other details to finish planning). People will send their RSVP's back late, or not at all. The more time you allow yourselves to figure out your guest list, the easier it will be for you.



If you can send out the invitations at least three months before your wedding, and request that the RSVP's get sent back at least two months before your wedding, you'll have a lot less last-minute stress. I wish we would have sent ours out sooner than we did.



I don't know how big your wedding is (we invited about 160 people and 90 ended up coming), but if I were you, for a May 23 wedding, I'd send out the invites around February 23 and request that the RSVP's be sent back by March 23.



Congratulations!

Answer 4

First off great wedding date!! That's also mine and my fiance's wedding date. Generally you should send invites out 6-8 weeks before the wedding (beginning of april end of march) and set the RSVP date for about 3 weeks before the wedding so for you (and us) that's the end of April Beginning of May. How ever if you want to make the RSVP date earlier that's good too, that way if you have an A and B list you have time to send out B list invites without them looking like after thoughts.

Answer 5

We're getting married November 15. We sent our invites out at the beginning of September and asked that they be returned by October 11. I wanted to make sure I had PLENTY of time to call the people who hadn't sent the RSVP back. I know if I would've waited the week before the head count was do I'd be freaking out. I've been calling/emailing/texting people for a week and still have no clue if they are coming to the wedding. I would love to know ASAP since we would then have a better idea of our budget. We are still receiving RSVP's in the mail even thought our RSVP by date is long gone. I just think it's smarter to give yourself extra time than trying to do everything a few weeks before the wedding. The stupid people who haven't sent the RSVP back are hard to track down. If I don't hear from them they will NOT have a plate of food at my wedding.

Answer 6

I wouldn't go with April 1 as an RSVP date. Maybe the 15th so you have plenty of time to call non-responders and work up your seating chart and give the venue the headcount information. But your idea of the 20th should be fine, too.



You could still send them out March 1 - that is fine, but definitely push the RSVP date back a little.

Answer 7

Your wedding invitations should be mailed out 6 - 8 weeks in advance of your wedding date.



The RSVP "return by date" should be thirty (30) days before your wedding date so you have plenty of time to make table assignments.



For your information . . no matter what date you put as the "return by date" there are people who just never mail the RSVPs back, even if you put a stamp on the envelope and drive them to the post office. They can't be bothered, they are waiting for "a better offer" that day. You can also expect a few people to change their minds . . RSVP yes, don't show up . . RSVP no, walks in the door.



Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 8

if the head count really is a concern, then i suggest u send out "save the date" cards after new years... this will let people know exactly when ur wedding date is and they can plan for it ahead of time. send the invite 6 weeks before the wedding, RSVP by 3 to 4 weeks before the date... since you already gave them a heads up with the save the date card, people should not hesitate to answer yes or no by this time... take the 3rd week b4 the wedding to call the ones that haven't responded... have ur bridesmaid or maid of honor to help u with this... 2nd week b4 to crunch the numbers, add about 4 or 5 plates just in case and give to the caterer, and the last week b4 the wedding don't worry about it... u have more important things to tend to...



Congratulations!

Hope it is the special day that u have been praying for!



God bless!

Answer 9

woah way too early! my wedding etiquette book says the invitations go out 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding, so that would be sometime between March 28th and April 11th. Then it says it is proper etiquette to give the guests up until 2 weeks before your wedding to respond. so that would be May 9th. Most reception places don't make you give a final number until 2 or 3 days before the wedding, so May 9th is plenty of time.

Answer 10

They should be due back 3 weeks prior to the event. That gives you a week to call on non-responses and then give the caterer/venue your headcount. Headcount is usually due 10 days prior.



I think he's way too early with his estimation.



The invites should be mailed 6 weeks ahead of the event.

Answer 11

it depends on when your caterer needs a headcount for the food. set your RSVP deadline for 2 or 3 weeks before your caterers deadline, to make sure all the stragglers have sent you their cards back.

Answer 12

you need to ensure you give your guests lots of time to make arrangements such as time off work, childcare, shopping, making travel and accommodation arrangements.

your out of town guests may have to arrange to take holidays from the office in order to get to your wedding and two months isn't enough notice in some cases. i would strongly suggest you send invitations out the last week of february so they have them in march and r.s.v.p. by the 20th of april.

congrats on your wedding sweetie.

Answer 13

I don't see why it matters what either of you "thinks"... talk to your vendors (location/caterers) about when they need firm counts by and have them due a week or two before that.