who gets seated at the top table?????

Question

getting married in a few weeks and stuck about who to seat at the top table. obviously me and hubby. best man his mum. my uncle (who is giving me away) my matron of honour. but not sure who else. do i seat their families at or near the top table? future hubby says to let people choose where to sit. this doesn't sound right to me. can any one help please?

Answer 1

First of all lets get the kids sorted. Ensure they are seated with someone who is going to keep a check on them. I imagine you don't want them at your Top Table as they are on the young side but for your peace of mind get this organised Even if it means roping in someone who you wouldn't be asking to the wedding and paying them a little. If a clergyman is attending usually he/she is at the top table. Apart from that you have got it right unless you want say have close grandparents or whatever.Your partner is wrong, for the sake of your sanity and not offending keep close family happy. First thing check the venue. The close family as in both sides brothers, sisters, aunt uncles etc should be nearest to the top table. You really should mix both sides,unless you know this won't work out. Now depending on the lay out this is not necessary table one but the tables sort of in the middle looking on at the top table. Also ensure THEE most important at the table have a good view...example if round tables imagine a clock and those most important would be sitting probably between what would be 4 pm and 8 pm, looking directly at the top table. After the close family and friends it's not too important where others sit. However, for example if you have 10 tables on the Table Plan it is sooooooooo obvious the people at Table 10 have just been invited by 'the skin of their teeth'. A much better idea is to give your tables names rather than numbers. The choice is endless. It can be the names of songs, counties, Lakes just whatever suits you like and nobody is offended. Have a wonderful day! PS I have just read you have the girls as bridesmaid, if you are in UK usually the bridesmaids/flowers girls sit at the top table. If you thought it better for the younger one then she could sit with the little one but I imagine she wouldn't be too happy. If only the younger one I am sure a relative would keep their eye on such a young child.

Answer 2

At most weddings I've attended, including my sisters', the bride, the groom and the wedding party. The families are seated at tables on either side of the top table.



It's up to you. Some receptions work well without assigned seating; others work terribly without it. I'm not really concerned whether his family and mine get to know each other, they live in different states. But I honestly do think assigned seating for dinner works better at a reception with a sit down dinner.



We have only 35 people total, and the restaurant manager at the place we were considering also said to have assigned seating for the meal and had some tips about doing that. We aren't going to have a 'top table' since we have no attendants and the tables aren't very large.



BTW, according to some older etiquette books, you don't seat married couples together, did you know that? I didn't. The argument is that you want your guests to MINGLE. Those married folks are together all the time, now is their chance to hold a conversation with someone else. It makes sense, but it was news to me.

Answer 3

Oooh no no no no no!! Dont let people choose where to sit or you will have a hell of a game on your hands. Work out table plans. If you are having eight people at the top table its up to your really:

My friend had herself and her husband

The best man and his wife

Her brother and his partner

The chief bridesmaid (maid of honour) and her partner



On the next table she had the parents and grandparents

The bridesmaids and ushers on another



Then the rest of the tables had four from the grooms family and four from the brides family



This mixed it all up nicely.



There is an etiquette but these days its best to do what suits you within the framework of doing whats right.



When I got married way back in the mists of time there were 14 people along a long top table. Three rows of tables coming off it and the bridesmaids were at the top end of each of the two outside rows and then family and friends.



Its a minefield whatever you do!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

You can seat anyone you feel is important enough to sit at the head table (top table), ie, brother, sister, close friend etc. The traditional formal seating arrangement for the head table would be you, your husband, and the wedding party.



If you would like to enjoy a beautiful and classic reception, you would typically seat your immediate families near your table and work your way outwards. Your matron of honor's family could sit wherever you would like to assign them.



Now, if you want your wedding to end up looking like the Jerry Springer show, you'll listen to your fiance about the "seat yourself" option. NO, no, no... ALL tables should be assigned, otherwise chaos.



EDIT - Yes you can seat the three children at other tables. However, make sure to seat the 16 month old and 5 year old at a family member or close friend's table, as they should be aware they are "watching" the children. This should not be a surprise for anyone.

Answer 5

Bride

Groom

Best Man

Matron of Honour

Parents of Bride (or whoever gave you away if father not present)

Parents of Groom

Priest/ Vicar/ Minister- if its a church wedding



Some of the big weddings I've been to have had all the Bridesmaids and Bridegrooms on the top table too.



Families are always up front, in front of the top table- most immediate family closest



Don't run the risk of leaving people to sit where they like- doa seating plan- the whole point of it is bringing people together- it stops that random Auntie or family friend being stuck on her own not knowing anyone... or worse, your Auntie and Uncle having to sit at seperate tables because in cafeteria fashion, theres only tables left with one space on them.



Put people together who you think will get on, have something in common.



Usually immediate family (brothers sisters, and pageboy/flower girls are all sat together- either at 2 seperate tables or at one table if both families are small)



The other tables are usually mixed- in a man, then woman fashion, with friends and family mixed around the tables so they are mingling. (but not stranded with no-one they know)



When my brother got married, he invited some of the 'lads' he worked with and their girlfriends- and sat them all together, so they would have more fun, and it wasn't so important for them to meet family members)

Answer 6

Usually the head table is the wedding party. Bride, groom, bridesmaids and groomsman. The parents and immediate family gets a reserved table/s next to the head table. That is what tradition is, but you may do whatever you like!

Answer 7

Everything I have read says its pretty much whatever you want. The size of your table matters too. I have read about a sweetheart table where its just the two of you or just the two of you and the MOH and best man and thier guest. Or you can put the entire wedding party. Whatever you think is the most convenient for you. I would not let people choose where to sit at the head table. I think I am just going to have me and him and the moh and bm and their guests.

Answer 8

Your bridal party is supposed to sit with you at the head table. Technically, your relatives sit at a separate table in front. As far as other guests, let them sit where they want. But be sure to designate certain tables reserved for your immediate families. People will roam around and visit - you can't force them to sit in one spot. (And what would you do if they didn't sit in their chairs? Make 'em leave?) Good luck and have a beautiful wedding!

Answer 9

Do this:



Only you and your groom should sit at the top head table.



Your uncle, your mom and your children should sit on your side at a long head table. Your groom's immediate family should sit on his side at a long head table.

Something like this:

___________ --------- ___________





Your wedding party (best man, groomsmen, matron of honor, bridesmaids) should have two tables near the head tables along with family members.

Answer 10

My Parents Had The Maid Of Honour, Best Man , And The Ushers

Answer 11

i've seen it done it 2 ways

1. the bride and groom along with all of the bridesmaids and all of the groomsmen.

2. just the bride and groom. this is called a 'sweetheart table'. and then the rest of the bridal party is sitting at different tables with their spouses or girlfriends/boyfriends.

i have never seen it with mom's or uncles like you mentioned. normally they are at a seperate table.

Answer 12

I think that the best way to do it is



You & Hubby

Your parents

Hubby's parents

Best Man & wife/fiancee

Maid of honor & her hubby/fiancee



I'm not a fan of having the whole wedding party at the head table, unless they have have their husbands/wives with them.

Answer 13

I was in a wedding in March and on the side of the bride was the bridal party and to the right of the groom was all of the grooms men and best man. Hope this helps!

Answer 14

i would put you and hubby at top table both sets of parents and paige boyes and bridesmaid ect and your uncle like you said but with everyone else i would just let them choose where they want to sit

Answer 15

That's right for top table, then family nearest top table down to friends.



You could end up with ill feeling if friends plonk themselves down near top table and family end up at the end.

Answer 16

Groom sits to the right of the bride

Mother of the bride to the right of the groom

Father of the groom to the right of the bride's mother

Best man to the right of the father of the groom

Father of the bride to the left of the bride - Youre Uncle

Mother of the groom to the left of the bride's father

Bridesmaid to the left of the groom's mother.





xx

Answer 17

Get one of those ticket machines they have at the deli.. Then you can call people to the table in turn.. :)



Seriously though, I hope you have a good day and a happy marriage (perhaps start listening to your future husband a little too)

Answer 18

usually the bride and groom brides mother and father bridegrooms mother and father,best man and the bridesmaids.

Answer 19

family